Feeds

Chinese make beautiful spam music

Ode to perlite - wonder material

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Remote control for virtualized desktops

We are delighted to announce this afternoon that after around four years of trying, we have finally managed to get the word "perlite" onto El Reg - no mean feat, to be sure.

Any reader not familiar with perlite is pointed in the direction of the Perlite Institute which has published a handy guide (PDF) fanfaring perlite as "the world's most versatile material".

For those of you of a scientific bent, perlite "is not a trade name but a generic term for naturally occurring silicous rock. The distinguishing feature which sets perlite apart from other volcanic glasses is that when heated to a suitable point in its softening range, it expands from four to twenty times it original volume."

All well and good, but what on earth do they use it for? To answer this poser, let's look no further than this marvellous bit of spam just in from, er, well it's not quite clear actually - there being no return address, no explanatory blurb, just good, old-fashioned hard-sell under a "Pearlite" (sic) subject banner:

It is a pearlite goods factory of Hebei province of China, the main variety that the speciality produces: Pearl mere sands, pearlite( 2. 5 mm-7mm),it regulate explosives densities because pharmaceutical( hate pearlite water), hate water keep pearlites warm board of, The cement pearlite keeps the board warm, the pearlite is helped and strain the pharmaceutical. The price is favourable , welcome old and new customers to consult the business, but process and made according to different needs, Hope to cooperate with you!

Beautiful. Absolutely no bloody idea what this is twittering on about, but who can argue with the delicious "hate water keep pearlites warm board of"? Perhaps a reference to perlite's insulatory properties, or maybe a more deeply spiritual investigation in the very nature of being. Who can say?

And while you're mulling over the profundity of it all, slip on the whalesong CD and plunge your hand gently into a bag of horticultural perlite - it's as satisfying as popping bubblewrap between index finger and thumb. And... relax. ®

Related stories

Have sex, save the planet
419ers crack cold fusion
Buy pornography, fight psoriasis

Intelligent flash storage arrays

More from The Register

next story
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
Bible THUMP: Good Book beats Darwin to most influential tome title
Folio Society crowns fittest of surviving volumes
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
U wot? Silicon Roundabout set to become Silicon U-BEND
Crap-spouting London upstarts to get permanent road closure
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Useless 'computer engineer' Barbie sacked in three-way fsck row
Tale of two lads and wannabe game dev makes for great management material
Microsoft to bring back beloved 1990s super-hit BATTLETOADS!?*
* Or maybe not. It is just a trademark filing, after all
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Reducing the cost and complexity of web vulnerability management
How using vulnerability assessments to identify exploitable weaknesses and take corrective action can reduce the risk of hackers finding your site and attacking it.
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.