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Internet Security Threat Report 2014

The days of raising funds for charitable causes by running the London Marathon dressed as a chicken may be over. Hot on the heels of Mathieu Guitard's recent request that concerned citizens subscribe to porn websites and thereby fight the terrible scourge of psoriasis, we have the quite remarkable www.f**kforforest.com (warning: explicit content), which bills itself as "environmental porn".

The idea is pretty simple: you get as nature intended, engage in some good, old-fashioned rumpy-pumpy, post it on the site and voila! - rainforest preserved, planet saved, laughing children gamboling through sun-kissed meadows, etc, etc:

Each year, huge areas of rainforest are systematically being cut down. Invaluable animal and plant life is being decimated to make way for commercial interests.. . For too many humans, development has become more important than the balance of nature. Is humanitys cynical behave more powerful than idealism..?

"F**k for forest" are concerned youngsters, fighting to preserve the environment. We believe it is possible to use people’s need for sexuality as a way to raise money for nature. And create interest for preserving our forests. It is time to pay respect, and give something back. F**k for forest, and give the profit to the earths threatened nature...

Simple as that. And the Scandinavian tree-huggers are more than happy to demonstrate exactly what sort of material will stop the logging companies in their tracks. Indeed, were scientists able to tap enthusiastic editor Leona's power output for just five minutes, they would have sufficient energy to supply three dolphin rehabilitation centres for a year.

So, if you're concerned about our planet, but can't really be arsed to get out of bed over it, here's a way to stay in the sack, indulge in some solid aerobic exercise and do your bit at the same time:

Angry? Horny? You can be a model for f**k for forest. Amateurs and professionals alike - anybody is welcome to contact us. We are mainly looking for girls and couples. Get f**ked for forest! Don’t be depressive. Take control.

Go to it! ®

Bootnote

Thanks to reader Andy Taylor for drawing this excellent iniative to our attention. You should know better, young man.

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