Software News and Views for the World • The Register

What did turbonerds do before the internet? 41 years ago, a load of BBS

Techie in need of a doorstop picks up 'chunk of metal' – only to find out it's rather pricey

Amazon triples profit to $11.2bn, pays ZERO DOLLARS in corp tax – instead we pay it $129m

Oracle throws toys out pram again, tells US claims court: Competing for Pentagon cloud contract isn't fair!

Down productivity tools: Microsoft Teams takes a Monday tumble

Windows Subsystem for Linux adds pop to release, SAC-T sacked, crypto-jacking apps: It's Microsoft's week

After outrage over Chrome ad-block block plan, Google backs away from crippling web advert, content filters

Missed Valentine's Day? Take your beloved to a Visual Studio 2019 launch event instead

Australian prime minister blames 'state level' baddies for Oz parliament breach

Data-spewing Spectre chip flaws can't be killed by software alone, Google boffins conclude

Tens of millions more web accounts for sale after more sites hacked, Mac malware spreads via Windows.exe, and more

Well Holby damned! We've caught a virus: Brit medical soap operas team up for 'cyber' episode

Want to learn how to accelerate your software ops AND save big?

Squarespace's Tanya Reilly to deliver keynote at Continuous Lifecycle London

Looking to give wings to your software development and deployment?

You like JavaScript! You really like it! Scripting lingo tops dev survey of programming languages

Court sees Morissette Meter flip out as Oracle assumes anti-arbitration stance in pay dispute

HPE wants British ex-CFO to testify in UK Autonomy lawsuit before Uncle Sam sentences him

Here come the riled MPs (it's private, huh), Facebook's a digital 'gangster' ('disingen-u-ous'). Zuckerberg he is a failure (on sharing data)

The algorithms! They're manipulating all of us! reckon human rights bods Council of Europe

Solder and Lego required: The Register builds glorious Project Alias gizmo to deafen Alexa

Pokemon No! Good news: You can now ban the virtual pests, er, pets to stop nerds wandering around your property

Banking in 2019: Sure, we'd recommend TSB's online, mobe banking say cowed customers

Surface Studio 2: The Vulture rakes a talon over Microsoft's latest box of desktop delight

Geek's Guide

Surrey Uni mans the space harpoons, and NASA buys more seats on Russian rockets

How's this for sci-fi: A cosmic river of 4,000 stars dazzles lifeforms as it flows through a galaxy. And that galaxy is the Milky Way

NASA's Dawn Mission receives nod in memory of Apollo 13 'naut for asteroid belt derring-do

Help us sniff out 50 neutron star collisions so we can calculate universe expansion, cosmoboffins plead

Want to create fake web profile pics? This creepy AI tool makes them on demand. Plus predictive policing, and more

Bloke thrown in the cooler for eight years after 3D-printing gun to dodge weapon ban

Blockchain is bullsh!t, prove me wrong meets 'chain gang fans at tech confab

Boss of venerable sect with millions of devoted followers meets boss of venerable sect with... yeah, you get the idea

Verity Stob

You know the drill: SAP has asked Joe Public to name Munich arena so go forth and be very silly

Twilight of the sundials: Archaic timepiece dying out and millennials are to blame, reckons boffin

Sussex rap fan wants statue of Easy-E from NWA in his hometown because he's a 'legend'

Airbus will shutter its A380 production line from 2021

Software

man falls backwards down stairs

Down productivity tools: Microsoft Teams takes a Monday tumble

If only Slack would go down too, we could get some work done

18 Feb 16:03 | 11

two penguins walk along surf, "chatting". One embraces the other by slinging a wing over its pal's shoulder

Windows Subsystem for Linux adds pop to release, SAC-T sacked, crypto-jacking apps: It's Microsoft's week

RoundupMonero? When is this – 2017?

18 Feb 12:20 | 9

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After outrage over Chrome ad-block block plan, Google backs away from crippling web advert, content filters

Revised proposals attempt to address worries over Manifest v3 API changes

16 Feb 01:48 | 47

Missed Valentine's Day? Take your beloved to a Visual Studio 2019 launch event instead

Romantic Redmondians pick 14 February to announce April go date for the code wrangler

15 Feb 18:04 | 4

Billionaire Buffett's Berkshire liquidates $2.1bn stake in Oracle – months after buying the shares

Bill Gates' bridge chum's firm buys Red Hat stock

15 Feb 15:51 | 9

Dratted hipster UX designers stole my corporate app

Reg AppealDo you have a funky makeover horror story? We'd like to know

15 Feb 13:27 | 123

Want to know what 2020 holds? Microsoft has a little something for you

Windows 10 Insiders sent screaming into a future where, er, nothing much has changed right now

15 Feb 10:05 | 19

Why does that website take forever to load? Clues: Three syllables, starts with a J, rhymes with crock of sh...

Ex-Googler reveals study and, yes, we're lookin' at you, WordAds

15 Feb 05:57 | 106

Oracle's claims of secret deal is a bid to 'distract' from pay bias case, says US Department of Labor

Big Red is red, underpaid staffers are blue. No angry counter-claims can stop that being true

14 Feb 11:57 | 3

Man talks on ohone next to outdoor pipeline, Photo by Shutterstock

Azure Pipelines go Slack while Microsoft frees data breakpoints from the shackles of C++

Redmond opens up the .NET Core 3.0 big box of preview toys

13 Feb 21:00 | 6

Forbidden fruit of smut, gambling iOS apps found flourishing using Apple enterprise certs

13 Feb 15:35 | 3

man interrogates data

Ask your data anything, says data viz biz Tableau as it flings 'patent-pending' tech at natural language tool

Plain language questions, automated data prep promised in first release of 2019

13 Feb 09:00 | 3

Windows 95 JavaScript

Ever yearn for the Windows 95 shutdown sound? TADA! There's an Electron app for that

JavaScript emulator gains audio support and proper '90s Doom

11 Feb 13:17 | 30

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Skype goes blurry, Office gets a kick in the privacy, and Microsoft takes us back to 1990

RoundupNew Windows 10 build and Small Basic turns 1.0

11 Feb 10:00 | 18

Google's stunning plan to avoid apps slurping Gmail inboxes: Charge devs for security audits

Requirement threatens to break the bank

11 Feb 06:05 | 38

LibreOffice 6.2 is here: Running up a Tab at the NotebookBar? You can turn it all off if you want

A bit last-decade, but there are improvements – and it's free!

08 Feb 15:24 | 147

Defaulting to legacy Internet Explorer just to keep that one, weird app working? Knock it off

Microsoft: We know what we said then, listen to what we're saying now

08 Feb 12:10 | 61

Reliable system was so reliable, no one noticed its licence had expired... until it was too late

On Call'Never assume soon means less than lifetime of Universe... in software'

08 Feb 08:10 | 186

Born-again open-source enthusiast Microsoft rucks up at OpenChain

How do you solve a problem like compliance?

07 Feb 19:20 | 12

Only plebs use Office 2019 over Office 365, says Microsoft's weird new ad campaign

Get with the times, Grandad!

07 Feb 11:58 | 254

Chrome devs attempt to slip muzzle on resource-guzzling browser beast with 'Never-Slow Mode'

You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain

07 Feb 09:15 | 29

MOST READ

A pile of platinum or silver bars

Techie in need of a doorstop picks up 'chunk of metal' – only to find out it's rather pricey

Tens of millions more web accounts for sale after more sites hacked, Mac malware spreads via Windows.exe, and more

A ghost

Data-spewing Spectre chip flaws can't be killed by software alone, Google boffins conclude

Alias Undressed

Solder and Lego required: The Register builds glorious Project Alias gizmo to deafen Alexa

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Website programming? Pffft, so 2011. Python's main squeeze is now data science, apparently

Popular glue coding language sticks to everything

07 Feb 06:04 | 51

Sure, you can keep Grandpa Windows 7 snug in the old code home – for a price

Microsoft turns the screws on those living in the past

06 Feb 15:43 | 159

What matters most to open-source chat plat Mattermost? To shove this fresh $20m into security, privacy

Slack: Cute Series A. Check out our proposed public listing...

05 Feb 15:59 | 1

lock

Windows Defender update: So secure, it wouldn't let Secure-Boot Windows PCs, er, boot

UpdatedOthers still can't even get that far

04 Feb 15:46 | 69

What's that, Skippy? You want a taste of Windows 10 19H2? Oops, too late

RoundupNew exec, new dev toys, and more from the world of Microsoft

04 Feb 11:55 | 24

message bottle

Using WhatsApp for your business comms? It's either that or reinstall Lotus Notes

Something for the Weekend, Sir?Employers won't provide proper comms and insist it's YOUR fault

01 Feb 09:10 | 127

screenshot of JSON data

A second preview of .NET Core 3? Shucks, Microsoft. You spoil us

JSON writing gets snappier while Remond nails its colours to the IoT mast

31 Jan 18:48 | 21

Boffins debunk study claiming certain languages (cough, C, PHP, JS...) lead to more buggy code than others

Hard evidence that some coding lingo encourage flaws remains elusive

30 Jan 21:45 | 154

Want a bit of privacy? Got a USB stick? Welcome to TAILS 3.12

Linux distro image seeks USB drive for private liaison. Discretion assured

30 Jan 16:42 | 33

Stop, collaborate, and listen: Microsoft Teams gets an Atlassian glisten

Forget Skype for Business, we have Jira and Confluence integration

30 Jan 14:42 | 21

Are you a Windows 1 in 10 (1809)? Or a mighty 80 percenter (1803)?

April still on top as Microsoft's difficult October update slowly trickles onto PCs

30 Jan 12:05 | 52

staff in business suits thrash each other with ring binders

SAP to spend €950m on restructure: The thing is, 'loyal workforce', we want the 'best' minds

Staff 'given the chance' to retire early, overall headcount won't fall

29 Jan 18:00 | 14

Microsoft decides Internet Explorer 10 has had its fun: Termination set for January 2020

Windows Server 2012 admins should crank it up to 11

29 Jan 13:55 | 56

Hammer, spanner and screw

Typescript, PostgreSQL and Visual Studio Code all get slathered with a little Microsoft lovin'

RoundupThere's also another Windows 10 Insider build out

28 Jan 12:05 | 7

Are you sure? computer prompt

'Numpty new boy' lets the boss take fall for mailbox obliteration

Who, Me?Drunk confessional two years later failed to impress

28 Jan 08:15 | 67

Apple: Trust us, we've patented parts of Swift, and thus chunks of other programming languages, for your own good

AnalysisNothing to see here, etc etc

26 Jan 01:05 | 111

Microsoft delivers a second preview of Visual Studio 2019 (a Redmond thing we actually like)

New toys for C++, C# and mobile in tech giant's big bag of early access goodies

25 Jan 20:19 | 25

Oof, are you sure? Facing $9bn damages, Google asks Supreme Court to hear Java spat

Chocolate Factory hoping to strike it lucky against Oracle

25 Jan 18:00 | 58

Requests for info, gag orders and takedowns fired at GitHub users hit an all-time high last year

More stuff disclosed, but code host could rarely tell targets

25 Jan 16:00 | 13

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