Software News and Views for the World • The Register

Now that's what we're Tolkien about: You need one storage system to rule them all and in the darkness bind them

Avaya considering tie-up with RingCentral to save it from fire sale – report

£1bn UK justice system digitisation scheme in massive delay shocker

Cloud Foundry has got its Red Hat on, hip, hip, hip, hooray: IBM demos CF running on OpenShift

I have no mouth and I must scream: You can add audio to wobbles in latest Windows 10 patch

Hold up, ace. Before you strap into Firefox's latest Test Pilot, ask yourself...

Right-click opens up terrifying vistas of reality and Windows 95 user's frightful position therein

All three of the Insiders on Arm64 can now muck about with Windows Subsystem for Linux 2

Whoa, bot wars: As cybercrooks add more AI to their arsenal, the goodies will have to too

Consumer ransomware insurance? You could be painting a target on us all for avaricious crims

Charmin'. Garmin admits customers' full credit card data nicked from South African web store

From PowerShell to auditing: Expand your cybersecurity know-how at SANS London 2019

Why would anyone need Cloud Foundry when we have Kubernetes? Um, 'cos K8s is really hard!

Do you work at a non-profit? Would you like to be non-servers, too? We've got 20 conf tix up for grabs if you're quick

Freebie tier coming to issue-tracking Jira, but you'll have to cough up to unlock the good stuff

Think you’ve blown your chance to save with serverless? Not so FaaSt...

OK, peons, we'll obey the law and let you talk about politics and pay packets, says Google

Malwarebytes back to square one as appeals court rules blocking rival antivirus maker isn't on

Service call centres to become wasteland and tumbleweed by 2024

Are you who you say you are, sir? You are? That's all fine then

Wall Street analyst slashes HP Inc's share rating amid mounting worries over printer supplies declines

Incoming... Trump! Notebook makers ramp production to avoid next tidal wave of US trade tariffs

UK ISPs must block access to Nintendo Switch piracy sites, High Court rules

Fairphone 3 stripped to the modular essentials: Glue? What glue?

Geek's Guide

Magnetic cockroaches, dirty money, wombat poo and posties' balls: It's the Ig Nobels 2019

MIT boffins turn black up to 11 with carbon nanotubes that absorb 99.995% of light

Tut – you wait a lifetime for an interstellar object then two come at once

Astroboffins baffled as black hole at center of Milky Way suddenly a lot hungrier than before

700km on a single charge: Mercedes says it's in it for the long run

And the teeny-tiny bottle of AI whisky goes to...

France says 'non merci' to Facebook-backed Libra cryptocurrency

Do you want fr-AI-s with that appy-meal? McDonald's gobbles machine-learning biz for human-free Drive Thrus

Verity Stob

Time for another cuppa then? Tea-drinkers have better brains, say boffins with even better brains

Just what we all needed, lactose-free 'beer' from northern hipsters – it's the Vegan Sorbet Sour

Captain's coffee calamity causes transatlantic flight diversion

A peeling solution to pothole has split the community... Yeah, they stuck a banana tree in it

Software

I have no mouth and I must scream: You can add audio to wobbles in latest Windows 10 patch

Users find PCs silenced while Microsoft looks into search fix

13 Sep 11:12 | 32

Software

Hold up, ace. Before you strap into Firefox's latest Test Pilot, ask yourself...

How much do I trust Mozilla with my data?

13 Sep 08:00 | 20

Software

Right-click opens up terrifying vistas of reality and Windows 95 user's frightful position therein

On CallA magical journey into the brave new world of Start Menus and Recycle Bins

13 Sep 07:00 | 180

Software

All three of the Insiders on Arm64 can now muck about with Windows Subsystem for Linux 2

New shiny for Fast Ringers. Oh, and Cortana

12 Sep 12:00 | 30

Software

Vulture Central team welcomed to our new nest by crashed Ubuntu that's 3 years out of date

UpdatedWhat Mark Shuttleworth would have wanted?

12 Sep 10:00 | 75

Software

Breaking, literally: Microsoft's fix for CPU-hogging Windows bug wrecks desktop search

One step forward, er, one step back. Nobody gets too far like that

11 Sep 20:17 | 76

Software

Care for a Flutter? Google emits fresh version of all-things-app-platform, plus a tart-up for Dart

iOS 13, macOS Catalina and calling C code in Mountain View's bundle of joy

11 Sep 10:25 | 3

Software

Enterprise Java spec packs bags, ready for new life under assumed name – Jakarta

Oops, hope we haven't blown Java EE 8's cover

10 Sep 12:00 | 13

Software

Thinking about processing a payment, Sage Group? Biz confirms mulling sale of Sage Pay

A farewell to merchant services arm?

10 Sep 11:15 | 12

Software

For real this time, get your butt off Python 2: No updates, no nothing after 1 January 2020

'Let's not play games,' says lang dad Guido van Rossum

09 Sep 15:00 | 124

Software

D'aw! They still have hope! Interns make a song and dance of their summer at Microsoft

RoundupWhile browbeaten oldies try to focus on Windows 10, .NET Core, Visual Studio

09 Sep 11:01 | 10

Software

Phone home: Indie Chromium browser Vivaldi goes mobile

Hands OnDesktop browser fans – and Vulture Central – get an Android client to play with

09 Sep 08:06 | 14

Software

Everyone's a winner as Microsoft turns on new Windows 10 19H2 toys for all Slow Ring testers

Some Insiders are more equal than others (sorry, Release Preview)

06 Sep 14:10 | 6

Software

Opal Fruits, Princess Diana and... PowerToys? Microsoft is dragging Windows 10 back to '95

Desktop layout suite granted 2019 reboot

06 Sep 12:06 | 28

Software

Another sign of the End Times: Free software guru Richard Stallman speaks at Microsoft HQ

PhotoFirebrand in town to give Redmond a GNU lease of life

05 Sep 21:04 | 42

Software

Loss-making $15bn hipster chat biz Slack suddenly less appetising to investors as it predicts deeper losses

Battle with Microsoft not letting up

05 Sep 09:38 | 57

Software

After banning adverts in command-line terminals, NPM floats idea of Patreon-style donations to open-source devs

Cash-burning biz sees itself following in the footsteps of GitHub Sponsors

04 Sep 07:04 | 24

Software

Mozilla says Firefox won't defang ad blockers – unlike a certain ad-giant browser

Extensions still free to use uber-powerful webRequest API to filter crap out of webpages

03 Sep 22:32 | 42

Software

Allowlist, not whitelist. Blocklist, not blacklist. Goodbye, wtf. Microsoft scans Chromium code, lops off offensive words

Redmond suggests nuking 'profanity, geopolitical, diversity' terms from browser source

03 Sep 21:45 | 258

Software

Today in tortured tech analogies: Mozilla lets Firefox loose in the hen house, and by hen house, we mean the tracking cookie jar, er...

Remember when people didn't use browsers from the one of world's biggest adtech giants?

03 Sep 19:57 | 59

Software

Cortana makes your PC's heart beat faster: Windows 10 update leaves some processors hot under the cooler

Updated1903 patch turns Redmond's virtual assistant into a very power hungry bot

03 Sep 18:13 | 36

Now that's what we're Tolkien about: You need one storage system to rule them all and in the darkness bind them

Avaya considering tie-up with RingCentral to save it from fire sale – report

£1bn UK justice system digitisation scheme in massive delay shocker

Cloud Foundry has got its Red Hat on, hip, hip, hip, hooray: IBM demos CF running on OpenShift

I have no mouth and I must scream: You can add audio to wobbles in latest Windows 10 patch

Hold up, ace. Before you strap into Firefox's latest Test Pilot, ask yourself...

Right-click opens up terrifying vistas of reality and Windows 95 user's frightful position therein

All three of the Insiders on Arm64 can now muck about with Windows Subsystem for Linux 2

Whoa, bot wars: As cybercrooks add more AI to their arsenal, the goodies will have to too

Consumer ransomware insurance? You could be painting a target on us all for avaricious crims

Charmin'. Garmin admits customers' full credit card data nicked from South African web store

From PowerShell to auditing: Expand your cybersecurity know-how at SANS London 2019

Why would anyone need Cloud Foundry when we have Kubernetes? Um, 'cos K8s is really hard!

Do you work at a non-profit? Would you like to be non-servers, too? We've got 20 conf tix up for grabs if you're quick

Freebie tier coming to issue-tracking Jira, but you'll have to cough up to unlock the good stuff

Think you’ve blown your chance to save with serverless? Not so FaaSt...

OK, peons, we'll obey the law and let you talk about politics and pay packets, says Google

Malwarebytes back to square one as appeals court rules blocking rival antivirus maker isn't on

Service call centres to become wasteland and tumbleweed by 2024

Are you who you say you are, sir? You are? That's all fine then

Wall Street analyst slashes HP Inc's share rating amid mounting worries over printer supplies declines

Incoming... Trump! Notebook makers ramp production to avoid next tidal wave of US trade tariffs

UK ISPs must block access to Nintendo Switch piracy sites, High Court rules

Fairphone 3 stripped to the modular essentials: Glue? What glue?

Magnetic cockroaches, dirty money, wombat poo and posties' balls: It's the Ig Nobels 2019

MIT boffins turn black up to 11 with carbon nanotubes that absorb 99.995% of light

Tut – you wait a lifetime for an interstellar object then two come at once

Astroboffins baffled as black hole at center of Milky Way suddenly a lot hungrier than before

700km on a single charge: Mercedes says it's in it for the long run

And the teeny-tiny bottle of AI whisky goes to...

France says 'non merci' to Facebook-backed Libra cryptocurrency

Do you want fr-AI-s with that appy-meal? McDonald's gobbles machine-learning biz for human-free Drive Thrus

Time for another cuppa then? Tea-drinkers have better brains, say boffins with even better brains

Just what we all needed, lactose-free 'beer' from northern hipsters – it's the Vegan Sorbet Sour

Captain's coffee calamity causes transatlantic flight diversion

A peeling solution to pothole has split the community... Yeah, they stuck a banana tree in it

Software

I have no mouth and I must scream: You can add audio to wobbles in latest Windows 10 patch

Hold up, ace. Before you strap into Firefox's latest Test Pilot, ask yourself...

Right-click opens up terrifying vistas of reality and Windows 95 user's frightful position therein

All three of the Insiders on Arm64 can now muck about with Windows Subsystem for Linux 2

Vulture Central team welcomed to our new nest by crashed Ubuntu that's 3 years out of date

Breaking, literally: Microsoft's fix for CPU-hogging Windows bug wrecks desktop search

Care for a Flutter? Google emits fresh version of all-things-app-platform, plus a tart-up for Dart

Enterprise Java spec packs bags, ready for new life under assumed name – Jakarta

Thinking about processing a payment, Sage Group? Biz confirms mulling sale of Sage Pay

For real this time, get your butt off Python 2: No updates, no nothing after 1 January 2020

D'aw! They still have hope! Interns make a song and dance of their summer at Microsoft

Phone home: Indie Chromium browser Vivaldi goes mobile

Everyone's a winner as Microsoft turns on new Windows 10 19H2 toys for all Slow Ring testers

Opal Fruits, Princess Diana and... PowerToys? Microsoft is dragging Windows 10 back to '95

Another sign of the End Times: Free software guru Richard Stallman speaks at Microsoft HQ

Loss-making $15bn hipster chat biz Slack suddenly less appetising to investors as it predicts deeper losses

After banning adverts in command-line terminals, NPM floats idea of Patreon-style donations to open-source devs

Mozilla says Firefox won't defang ad blockers – unlike a certain ad-giant browser

Allowlist, not whitelist. Blocklist, not blacklist. Goodbye, wtf. Microsoft scans Chromium code, lops off offensive words

Today in tortured tech analogies: Mozilla lets Firefox loose in the hen house, and by hen house, we mean the tracking cookie jar, er...

Cortana makes your PC's heart beat faster: Windows 10 update leaves some processors hot under the cooler

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Right-click opens up terrifying vistas of reality and Windows 95 user's frightful position therein

Astroboffins baffled as black hole at center of Milky Way suddenly a lot hungrier than before

Are you who you say you are, sir? You are? That's all fine then

Captain's coffee calamity causes transatlantic flight diversion

MIT boffins turn black up to 11 with carbon nanotubes that absorb 99.995% of light

I have no mouth and I must scream: You can add audio to wobbles in latest Windows 10 patch

700km on a single charge: Mercedes says it's in it for the long run

Hold up, ace. Before you strap into Firefox's latest Test Pilot, ask yourself...

Malwarebytes back to square one as appeals court rules blocking rival antivirus maker isn't on

Service call centres to become wasteland and tumbleweed by 2024

HPE lawyer claims key associates of Autonomy boss Mike Lynch 'refuse' to testify to High Court

Good news Flash lovers! Microsoft won't be disabling it by default (so long as you use IE or old Edge)

Call Windows 10 anything you like – Microsoft seems to

Developer reconsiders npm command-line ad caper after outcry

TfL inks £6.5m deal with Sopra Steria to build traffic data-munching and control system

No it's not Russell Brand's new cult, it's Microsoft's Office crew rolling out their Save Experience

Clutching at its Perl 6, developer community ponders language name with less baggage

Mozilla shaves down Beard to a luxuriant mustache, looks for new CEO by end of year

Zapped from the Play store: Another developer gets no sense from Google, appeals to the public

Brit software giant Micro Focus takes a bath after share price crashes 30%, sales tank

Hey, it's 2019. Quit making battery-draining webpages – say makers of webpage-displaying battery-powered kit