Software News and Views for the World • The Register

Backup biz Acronis ascends to unicorndom after $147m splurge led by Goldman Sachs

Congratulations! You finally have the 10Mbps you're legally entitled to. Too bad that's obsolete

Not to over-hype this storage chip tech, but if I could get away with calling my first-born '3D NAND', I totally would

VMware on AWS: Low-risk option or security blanket for those who don't like change?

Adobe results show it is still creaming those subscriptions but its share price fell – why?

UK.gov confirms: Yes, our former DWP perm sec will join Salesforce

You know SAP's doing a great job when a third of German users say they 'have no confidence in it'

Microsoft to improve Azure networking with private links to multi-tenant services

Scotiabank slammed for 'muppet-grade security' after internal source code and credentials spill onto open internet

GitHub gobbles biz used by NASA, Google, etc to search code for bugs and security holes in Mars rovers, apps...

Uni sysadmins, don't relax. Cybercrooks are still after your crown jewels, warns NCSC

Analytics exec nicked as Ecuador tries to rush through privacy laws after massive data leak

Created to mimic Heroku: Cloud Foundry explained by its chief technology officer

Why would anyone need Cloud Foundry when we have Kubernetes? Um, 'cos K8s is really hard!

Do you work at a non-profit? Would you like to be non-servers, too? We've got 20 conf tix up for grabs if you're quick

Freebie tier coming to issue-tracking Jira, but you'll have to cough up to unlock the good stuff

Ebuygumm doesn't break t' Nominet rules, eBay and Gumtree told

Scott McNealy gets touchy feely with Trump: Sun cofounder hosts hush-hush reelection fundraiser for President

Apple tells European Commission it's nutty for slapping €13bn tax bill on Irish subsidiary

Google age discrimination case: Supervisor called me 'grandpa', engineer claims

Woman sues Lyft, says driver gang-raped her at gunpoint – and calls for app safety measures we can't believe aren't already in place

We asked for your Fitbit horror stories and, oh wow, did you deliver: Readers sync their teeth into 'junk' gizmos

Fitbit fitness fans furious following flummoxing flawed firmware float, fleeting feedback, failed fixes

The results are in… and California’s GDPR-ish digital privacy law has survived onslaught by Google and friends

Geek's Guide

NASA's lunar spy looks for hide-and-seek champ Vikram, Starliner test success, and more

You look like a fungi. Got mushroom in your life to build stuff with mycelium computers?

Magnetic cockroaches, dirty money, wombat poo and posties' balls: It's the Ig Nobels 2019

MIT boffins turn black up to 11 with carbon nanotubes that absorb 99.995% of light

MPs call for 'immediate' stop to facial recog in UK as report underlines bias risks in 'pre-crime' algos used by coppers

Robot Rin Tin Tin can rescue you from that collapsed mine shaft

If Syria pioneered grain processing by watermill in 350BC, the UK in 2019 can do better... right?

This image-recognition roulette is all fun and games... until it labels you a rape suspect, divorcee, or a racial slur

Verity Stob

Flying priests crop-dust Russian citizens with holy water to make them stop boozing and bonking

World's oldest human was a 122-year-old French smoker after all

Au my bog: Bloke, 66, on bail after 'solid-gold' crapper called 'America' stolen from stately home

Wake me up before you Gogo ... so I can jump out: Kenyan MP takes on aeroplane flatulence

Software

Adobe results show it is still creaming those subscriptions but its share price fell – why?

Q3 figures = good, Q4 targets = vague

18 Sep 17:00 | 8

UK.gov confirms: Yes, our former DWP perm sec will join Salesforce

No lobbying for at least another five months

18 Sep 14:45 | 8

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You know SAP's doing a great job when a third of German users say they 'have no confidence in it'

18 Sep 11:34 | 12

Microsoft to improve Azure networking with private links to multi-tenant services

Preview of private endpoints accessible both in the cloud and on premises

18 Sep 11:01 | 1

DevOps darling GitLab pockets another $268m to be valued at $2.75bn

Drops Enterprise (Core) into VMware Cloud Marketplace, misspells own name

17 Sep 18:30 | 2

.NET Core 3.0 thought it was all ready for release. And it would have been too, if it weren't for those pesky Visual Studio kids

Hi, remember us? We share a toolset. And have another preview to do?

17 Sep 14:50 | 3

Disney signs on with Microsoft, SQLCMD arrives in Data Studio and Azure goes German

RoundupHeigh-ho, Heigh-ho, it's off to test we go...

17 Sep 09:05 | 4

Stallman's final interview as FSF president: Last week we quizzed him over Microsoft visit. Now he quits top roles amid rape remarks outcry

InterviewGNU man resigns after Minsky email defense 'the final straw' for dev world

17 Sep 05:11 | 190

I got 99 problems but a switch() ain't one: Java SE 13 lands with various tweaks as per Oracle's less-is-more strategy

Code OneAll part of Big Red's regular small-ish release plan as opposed to large infrequent updates

16 Sep 20:02 | 35

Wi-Fi woes and broken browser target both young and old in Microsoft patch land

The last Surface RT user just needs to fill in a web form to... oh heck

16 Sep 18:02 | 10

Linux 5.3 kernel bundles new, cuddlier, swear-free Torvalds with AMD Radeon Navi graphics support

Guv'nor explains regression again, without the expletives

16 Sep 16:38 | 23

Microsoft plays chicken with Extended Support for Exchange 2010 end date and swerves first

UpdatedExtension to October 2020. But what of Server 2008 or... Windows 7?

16 Sep 15:16 | 10

COBOL: Five little letters that if put on a CV would ensure stable income for many a greybeard coder

EVALUATE COBOL-AGE WHEN 60 CONTINUE

16 Sep 09:09 | 162

Advertisement

I have no mouth and I must scream: You can add audio to wobbles in latest Windows 10 patch

Users find PCs silenced while Microsoft looks into search fix

13 Sep 11:12 | 43

Hold up, ace. Before you strap into Firefox's latest Test Pilot, ask yourself...

How much do I trust Mozilla with my data?

13 Sep 08:00 | 22

Right-click opens up terrifying vistas of reality and Windows 95 user's frightful position therein

On CallA magical journey into the brave new world of Start Menus and Recycle Bins

13 Sep 07:00 | 236

All three of the Insiders on Arm64 can now muck about with Windows Subsystem for Linux 2

New shiny for Fast Ringers. Oh, and Cortana

12 Sep 12:00 | 30

Vulture Central team welcomed to our new nest by crashed Ubuntu that's 3 years out of date

UpdatedWhat Mark Shuttleworth would have wanted?

12 Sep 10:00 | 78

Breaking, literally: Microsoft's fix for CPU-hogging Windows bug wrecks desktop search

One step forward, er, one step back. Nobody gets too far like that

11 Sep 20:17 | 79

Care for a Flutter? Google emits fresh version of all-things-app-platform, plus a tart-up for Dart

iOS 13, macOS Catalina and calling C code in Mountain View's bundle of joy

11 Sep 10:25 | 3

Enterprise Java spec packs bags, ready for new life under assumed name – Jakarta

Oops, hope we haven't blown Java EE 8's cover

10 Sep 12:00 | 13

POPULAR

Stallman's final interview as FSF president: Last week we quizzed him over Microsoft visit. Now he quits top roles amid rape remarks outcry

InterviewGNU man resigns after Minsky email defense 'the final straw' for dev world

HP printer small print says kit phones home data on whatever you print – and then some

Security engineer actually reads privacy policy to his horror

Fitbit fitness fans furious following flummoxing flawed firmware float, fleeting feedback, failed fixes

Punters say their gear has been messed up for a month-plus

IBM looks to boost sales the same way it has for 65 years – yes, it's a new mainframe: The z15

Lineup looks to put a pep in the step of flailing systems group

Larry Ellison tiers Amazon a new one: Oracle cloud gets 'always' free offer, plus something about Linux

OpenWorldEl Reg decodes Big Red's big announcements from today

.NET Core 3.0 thought it was all ready for release. And it would have been too, if it weren't for those pesky Visual Studio kids

Hi, remember us? We share a toolset. And have another preview to do?

US government sues ex-IT guy for breaking his NDA (Yes, we mean Edward Snowden)

Uncle Sam tries to plug leaker's pay, ends up plugging leaker's book

We asked for your Fitbit horror stories and, oh wow, did you deliver: Readers sync their teeth into 'junk' gizmos

'This is the last Fitbit I will buy'

Google age discrimination case: Supervisor called me 'grandpa', engineer claims

Suit filed alleging HR failed to protect staffer from harassment

First they came for 'face' and I did not speak out because I... have no face? Then they came for 'book'

Don't panic: Off and f*ck still free from Zuckerberg, for now

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Thinking about processing a payment, Sage Group? Biz confirms mulling sale of Sage Pay

A farewell to merchant services arm?

10 Sep 11:15 | 12

For real this time, get your butt off Python 2: No updates, no nothing after 1 January 2020

'Let's not play games,' says lang dad Guido van Rossum

09 Sep 15:00 | 125

D'aw! They still have hope! Interns make a song and dance of their summer at Microsoft

RoundupWhile browbeaten oldies try to focus on Windows 10, .NET Core, Visual Studio

09 Sep 11:01 | 10

Phone home: Indie Chromium browser Vivaldi goes mobile

Hands OnDesktop browser fans – and Vulture Central – get an Android client to play with

09 Sep 08:06 | 14

Everyone's a winner as Microsoft turns on new Windows 10 19H2 toys for all Slow Ring testers

Some Insiders are more equal than others (sorry, Release Preview)

06 Sep 14:10 | 6

Opal Fruits, Princess Diana and... PowerToys? Microsoft is dragging Windows 10 back to '95

Desktop layout suite granted 2019 reboot

06 Sep 12:06 | 28

Another sign of the End Times: Free software guru Richard Stallman speaks at Microsoft HQ

PhotoFirebrand in town to give Redmond a GNU lease of life

05 Sep 21:04 | 42

Loss-making $15bn hipster chat biz Slack suddenly less appetising to investors as it predicts deeper losses

Battle with Microsoft not letting up

05 Sep 09:38 | 57

After banning adverts in command-line terminals, NPM floats idea of Patreon-style donations to open-source devs

Cash-burning biz sees itself following in the footsteps of GitHub Sponsors

04 Sep 07:04 | 24

Mozilla says Firefox won't defang ad blockers – unlike a certain ad-giant browser

Extensions still free to use uber-powerful webRequest API to filter crap out of webpages

03 Sep 22:32 | 42

Allowlist, not whitelist. Blocklist, not blacklist. Goodbye, wtf. Microsoft scans Chromium code, lops off offensive words

Redmond suggests nuking 'profanity, geopolitical, diversity' terms from browser source

03 Sep 21:45 | 259

Today in tortured tech analogies: Mozilla lets Firefox loose in the hen house, and by hen house, we mean the tracking cookie jar, er...

Remember when people didn't use browsers from the one of world's biggest adtech giants?

03 Sep 19:57 | 59

Cortana makes your PC's heart beat faster: Windows 10 update leaves some processors hot under the cooler

Updated1903 patch turns Redmond's virtual assistant into a very power hungry bot

03 Sep 18:13 | 38

HPE lawyer claims key associates of Autonomy boss Mike Lynch 'refuse' to testify to High Court

Autonomy TrialWe don't actually need them, says Lynch's camp

03 Sep 14:15 | 30

Good news Flash lovers! Microsoft won't be disabling it by default (so long as you use IE or old Edge)

Axe to still fall at the end of 2020 as planned

03 Sep 08:15 | 35

Call Windows 10 anything you like – Microsoft seems to

RoundupAlso: Hololens 2 peekaboo and the not-so-mysterious decline of 1803

02 Sep 10:15 | 65

Developer reconsiders npm command-line ad caper after outcry

Effort to help fund open-source projects proves too much

30 Aug 23:08 | 34

TfL inks £6.5m deal with Sopra Steria to build traffic data-munching and control system

Tunnels, bridges, lights and other route constipation hardness to be eased by laxative of software goodness

30 Aug 15:00 | 9

No it's not Russell Brand's new cult, it's Microsoft's Office crew rolling out their Save Experience

Not one, not two, but three Save dialogs in updated Office 365 desktop applications

30 Aug 13:04 | 40

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