Software News and Views for the World • The Register

Dell EMC refreshes its entry-level arrays

Hitachi Data Systems is no more! Arise the new 'Hitachi Vantara'

Oracle promises SLAs that halve Amazon's cloud costs

Ofcom to crack down on telcos' handling of nuisance callers

Behold iOS 11, an entirely new computer platform from Apple

More are paying to stream music, but YouTube still holds the value gap

Google Cloud's API knows the sort of thing you like to look at

Chap tames Slack by piping it into Emacs

CCleaner targeted top tech companies in attempt to lift IP

Orland-whoa! Chap cops to masterminding $100m Microsoft piracy racket

FedEx: TNT NotPetya infection blew a $300m hole in our numbers

IT fraudster facing four years' bird time for $10k blackmail

HMRC scoops up Microsoft veep for CIO role

So you're already in the cloud but need to come back down to Earth

A big ask for any nerd, but going outside (your usual data sets) can be good for you

So much data, so little time: How to not flip your wig processing it

GitLab freezes GraphQL project amid looming Facebook patent fears

Stack Overflow + Salary Calculator = your worth

The developers vs enterprise architects showdown: You shall know us by our trail of diagrams

WordPress has adverse reaction to Facebook's React.js licence

Google hires HTC's Pixel people to make one big happy handset team

UK Prime Minister calls on internet big beasts to ‘auto-takedown’ terror pages within 2 HOURS

EU watchdog: Govt bods are seeking 'legal knockouts' to dodge transparency

Toshiba said yes to the Bain-Capital-backed bunch – reports

Mobe reception grief turns LTE Apple Watch 3 into – er, a dull watch

Amazon wants to be king of the nerd goggles

Itching to stuff iOS 11 on your iPhone? You may want to hold off for a bit

Sprint, T-Mobile US reignite mega-merger talks (again)

Geek's Guide

Ducks ding dongs in face of stiff competition

Boffins discover tightest black hole binary system – and it's supermassive

NASA Earthonauts emerge from eight-month isolation in simulated Mars visit

Fancy that! Craft which float over everything on a cushion of air

Top video game dev nerve-center Unity can now be used to train AI

You've been baffled by its smart thermostat. Now strap in for Nest's IoT doorbell, alarm gear

Say Hello to my little friend: Nest blasts IoT world with doorbell, home security gear

Ethereum just checked that part of a Zcash transaction was legit

Verity Stob

Programming in the Middle Ages: Docker makes a lovely pair of trousers

RIP Stanislav Petrov: Russian colonel who saved world from all-out nuclear war

Jon Hamm of Mad Men to lend his lungs to bounty hunter Boba Fett

A todger, a 2.5kg dumbbell, the fire brigade... and the inevitable angle grinder

Software

Behold iOS 11, an entirely new computer platform from Apple

ReviewAfter years of complacency – and falling sales – Apple has transformed the iPad into something it should have been from the start: a proper computer.

Andrew Orlowski, 20 Sep 2017

More are paying to stream music, but YouTube still holds the value gap

With Google's user-generated content loophole firmly in lawmaker's sights, global music trade body IFPI has published new research looking at demand for music streaming.

Andrew Orlowski, 20 Sep 2017

Google Cloud's API knows the sort of thing you like to look at

And now has creepy 'entity' sentiment analysis too

Chap tames Slack by piping it into Emacs

And then filtering out all the stuff he doesn't need to read

macOS High Sierra more like 'Cry Sierra' for Mac-wielding beta testers

Early issues arise with new version of OS X 10.13

Black screen of death after Win10 update? Microsoft blames HP

OEM factory images create 'incorrect registry keys'

Microsoft Office 365 Exchange issues for users across Europe

UpdatedExpect problems and delays

Linux 4.14 'getting very core new functionality' says Linus Torvalds

Memory management wonks, this release is for you. And also you Hyper-V admins

Google to kill Chrome autoplay madness

Sorta, kinda, well not really

HP users moaning over 10-minute login lag during 'Win 10 update'

Like watching a black screen dry (literally)

Python explosion blamed on pandas

Data science fad just won't die

Unloved Microsoft Edge is much improved – but will anyone use it?

We saw what you did there, Windows 10 web browser bods

Windows 10 Creators Update will add app-level privacy controls

Enterprises can lock down Telemetry a little more

Get out your specs: Java EE's headed to the Eclipse Foundation

Yes, we meant specifications... and think up a name, would you?

Slack re-invents the extranet and shared Notes databases with cross-company teams

Everything hip is new again

Government lab that gives a crap pushes open source

Boffins reveal code for turning cow pies into cash

Linus Torvalds' lifestyle tips for hackers: Be like me, work in a bathrobe, no showers before noon

Also be curious and constructive by working on Linux instead of breaking it

F1 2017 game

Microsoft fixing Windows 10 'stuttering' bugs in Creators Update

Insider build aims to address glitch spotted by gamers

BlackBerry Priv. Press pic

BlackBerry admits: We could do better at patching

Still the most secure Android? It won't get last year's update

Monty Python Galaxy Song

Everyone loves programming in Python! You disagree? But it's the fastest growing, says Stack Overflow

It's a grower not a, er, yeah...

Opinion

News

F-35 firmware patches to be rolled out 'like iPhone updates'

'I see you're trying to land. Please reboot the flight control system to continue'

Atlassian releases 'Stride', because HipChat isn't hip enough to whack Slack

New collaboration tool is 'recommended upgrade' to HipChat, beats it on price

You are the one per cent if you read Firefox's privacy spiels

So Mozilla's going to give them their very own Tab, perhaps ahead of opt-out slurping

Google puts the last coat of polish on Chrome 61

WebUSB, WebShare, JavaScript Modules and more due any day now

Must go faster, must go faster! Oracle lobs Java EE into GitHub, vows rapid Java SE releases

Plenty of life left in this dinosaur

What's your flava? Ooo, tell me what's your flava... of Ubuntu

The options when 17.10 drops

WhatsApp irons a shirt, dons a suit, prepares business services

Slackers beware, Facebook-owned messaging platform thinks it can charge for chat

Facebook promised to open up its log storage system

LogDevice: how to make sense of 10 hyperscale data centres

Linus Torvalds passed a kidney stone and then squeezed out Linux 4.13

SMB 1.0 also deemed better out than in, as TLS makes it into the kernel

HPE wraps up $8.8bn Micro Focus software dump spin-off

Newly minted software giant formally begins operations

Microsoft sets the date for Fall Creators Update

After Lenovo leaks the details

OpenStack Pike release bites hard on microservices and scale

Project tries to move on to lifecycle management rather than initial setup

Privacy-focused search engine DeepSearch slinks out of hiding

New web crawler from TSignal doesn't care who you are

Google ARCore

Google ARCore brings augmented reality to relatively small audience

At least it doesn't require a bleeding-edge PC and costly goggles

Microsoft's fix for web graphics going AWOL? Disable your antivirus

Or stop using Internet Explorer 11, of course

Sunset

MongoDB quits Solaris, wants to work on an OS people actually use

Says users are migrating away, criticizes Oracle's roadmap and ends builds and support, effective ASAP

Well, debugger me. Microsoft's BSOD fixer is getting a makeover

Grey screen gets ribbonised

silence

Chrome wants to remember which Websites to silence

Permanently mute those annoying autoplay videos? We're listening

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