Science News and Views for the World • The Register

All your ETL pipeline are belong to us: Google snaps up Alooma

Ministry of Defence's new payroll contract is, surprise, surprise, MIA: Missing In Action

Cut open a tauntaun, this JEDI is frozen! US court halts lawsuit over biggest military cloud deal since the Death Star

New claim dogs Oracle: After $11m of sales, I was unfairly axed before next big deal – because I am a 64yo woman

Germany, US staffers to be hit hardest as SAP starts shedding 4,400 bodies

WWW = Woeful, er, winternet wendering? CERN browser rebuilt after 30 years barely recognizes modern web

CAST links arms with Software Heritage to tease out your open-source ancestry

Splunk does a bunk from Russia: No software and services for you, Putin!

Who will stand up for European democracy? Us! says US software giant Microsoft

Password managers may leave your online crown jewels 'exposed in RAM' to malware – but hey, they're still better than the alternative

Unearthed emails could be smoking gun in epic GDPR battle against Google, adtech giants

Accused hacker Lauri Love loses legal bid to reclaim seized IT gear

Git money, git paid: GitHub waves larger wads of dollar bills to tempt bug hunters

Uptown func: Serverless types Nuweba trouser $4.8m as investors eye faster FaaS

Want to learn how to accelerate your software ops AND save big?

Squarespace's Tanya Reilly to deliver keynote at Continuous Lifecycle London

Apple reseller Solutions Inc pulls down shutters, calls in administrators

What has an 'open-door policy' with industry and puts the X into NHS? Brits, let app-happy Matt Hancock tell you

Autonomy trial: Key HPE witness might not testify, UK High Court told

Guess who's working on a health data-slurping digital tool? Bzzt! Nope, it's the UK Department for Work and Pensions

U wot, m8? OMG SMS is back from dead

AGM X3: Swoon at this rugged interloper mobe then throw it on the floor to impress your mates

Turn on, tune in, drop out: Apple's whizz-bang T2 security chips hit a bum note for Mac audio

LG folds at prospect of launching bendy phone while Samsung flaunts its upcoming kit on telly

Geek's Guide

How do you solve a problem like Galileo? With a strap-on L-band payload, of course!

Oldest white dwarf star catches amateur's eye – and its dusty ring leaves boffins baffled

Visited the Grand Canyon since 2000? You'll have great photos – and maybe a teensy bit of unwanted radiation

Surrey Uni mans the space harpoons, and NASA buys more seats on Russian rockets

Want to create fake web profile pics? This creepy AI tool makes them on demand. Plus predictive policing, and more

Bloke thrown in the cooler for eight years after 3D-printing gun to dodge weapon ban

Blockchain is bullsh!t, prove me wrong meets 'chain gang fans at tech confab

Boss of venerable sect with millions of devoted followers meets boss of venerable sect with... yeah, you get the idea

Verity Stob

'Occult' text from Buffy The Vampire Slayer ep actually just story about new bus lane in Dublin

You know the drill: SAP has asked Joe Public to name Munich arena so go forth and be very silly

Twilight of the sundials: Archaic timepiece dying out and millennials are to blame, reckons boffin

Sussex rap fan wants statue of Easy-E from NWA in his hometown because he's a 'legend'

Science

Nigerian satellite with the L-band antenna draped in a fetching red ribbon

How do you solve a problem like Galileo? With a strap-on L-band payload, of course!

Nigerian and Brit augmented boffinry could save billions

20 Feb 10:27 | 24

oldest_white_dwarf_star

Oldest white dwarf star catches amateur's eye – and its dusty ring leaves boffins baffled

PicJ0207 is estimated to be a mere three-billion years old and just 145 light years away

20 Feb 06:11 | 14

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Visited the Grand Canyon since 2000? You'll have great photos – and maybe a teensy bit of unwanted radiation

15 gallons of uranium ore left in the visitors' center for 18 years

20 Feb 04:11 | 44

Surrey Uni mans the space harpoons, and NASA buys more seats on Russian rockets

RoundupUK Space spends £18m on internet sat tech

18 Feb 15:36 | 24

How's this for sci-fi: A cosmic river of 4,000 stars dazzles lifeforms as it flows through a galaxy. And that galaxy is the Milky Way

And said lifeforms include us humans on Earth

16 Feb 01:04 | 44

NASA's Dawn Mission receives nod in memory of Apollo 13 'naut for asteroid belt derring-do

Dead probe swinging around Ceres wins Swigert Award

15 Feb 16:55 | 3

Help us sniff out 50 neutron star collisions so we can calculate universe expansion, cosmoboffins plead

There's only been one so far, so 49 more to go

15 Feb 05:08 | 16

How's this for sci-fi: Orbiting probes face fiery death dive from planet's radiation belts. And that planet is Earth

They're dropping like flies: First Opportunity, now NASA's Van Allen craft

15 Feb 04:04 | 19

Opportunity's mission is over, but InSight almost ready for a driller thriller below Martian surface

Self-hammering spike to see what weather's like 5m down

14 Feb 14:38 | 19

NASA Opportunity Rover on Mars (pic: NASA)

A once-in-a-lifetime Opportunity: NASA bids emotional farewell to its cocky, hardworking RC science car on Mars

Amazing what you can achieve on unforgiving dust world over 15 years with a 20MHz RISC CPU and a bunch of probes

13 Feb 23:52 | 62

meteorite

Earth's noggin took quite a clockin' back in the day: Now a second meteorite crater spotted under Greenland ice

Pics, videoHuge hole hints at home world taking a pounding

12 Feb 07:33 | 28

Total Recall

From Red Planet to deep into the red: Suicidal extrovert magnet Mars One finally implodes

Bonkers dust world colonization that was never going to happen definitely isn't going to happen

11 Feb 19:16 | 107

Gravity

Happy Satellite Collision Day! It is 10 years since Russia and Iridium got too close for comfort

Plus: Cygnus freighter to spray more sats across the heavens

11 Feb 17:20 | 20

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Holy planetesimal formation, Batman! Ultima Thule's no snowman – it's a friggin' pancake

Latest data dribble from distant New Horizons reveals things are strange out there

11 Feb 11:20 | 48

Hungover this morning? Thought 'beer before wine and you'll be fine'? Boffins prove old adage just isn't true

Better to drink plenty of water, we reckon

10 Feb 10:08 | 88

Brit Mars bot named while NASA 'nauts must wait a bit longer for a US rocket trip to the ISS

RoundupAlso: Well done, Squirrels, you've got your Commercial Astronaut badge

08 Feb 09:20 | 22

Tell NASA to grab the margarita mix – a sextillion-kg salty ring found floating in space

Astroboffins haven't seen anything quite like it

08 Feb 07:22 | 21

Yay, we got a B for maths. Literally, a bee: Little nosy nectar nerds smart enough to add, abstract numbers

What's next? Arithme-ticks?

07 Feb 08:03 | 54

What a smashing time, cheer astroboffins: Epic exoplanet space prang evidence eyeballed

Kepler 107c is way too beefy for its own good

07 Feb 07:17 | 16

Pixaaaarrrrrrghh! Mars-snapping CubeSats Wall-E and Eve declared dead (for now) by NASA bods

Briefcase-sized spacecraft will continue to float in space peacefully around the Sun

06 Feb 07:06 | 33

Clever girl: SpaceX's Mars-bound Raptor engine looks like it works just fine

RoundupPlus: Lucy in the sky with Trojans, and ISS 'nauts splash around in a water party

05 Feb 10:41 | 32

MOST READ

man falls backwards down stairs

Down productivity tools: Microsoft Teams takes a Monday tumble

Lauri Love outside Westminster Magistrates' Court today. Leaving is building is barrister Andrew Bird for the NCA

Accused hacker Lauri Love loses legal bid to reclaim seized IT gear

sarah michelle gellar who plays buffy in the series

'Occult' text from Buffy The Vampire Slayer ep actually just story about new bus lane in Dublin

hospital patient

Guess who's working on a health data-slurping digital tool? Bzzt! Nope, it's the UK Department for Work and Pensions

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NASA pops titanium tea cosy over Martian InSight probe instrument

PicSeismometer looking for whole lot of shakin' going on

05 Feb 06:36 | 16

Musk shows off the latest power plant for Starship, replaces Tesla CFO with a millennial

Here comes Ahuja again... BOING! ...and he's out of there

01 Feb 17:30 | 28

Are you aware of the gravity of the situation on Mars? Why yes, say boffins: We rejigged Curiosity to measure it

Shock after accelerometers hacked, in the old-school sense, and rock density probed

01 Feb 06:03 | 21

Yutu_2_rover

Chang'e 4 wakes and Yutu 2 stretches its solar panels for another day... on the friggin' MOON

Opportunity still maintaining a Martian silence

31 Jan 10:53 | 24

How big is the UK space industry? It hauled in £14.8bn for 2016/2017 – report

40% of exports to France won't be a problem, right?

30 Jan 15:42 | 60

kuiper_belt_object

Japanese astronomers find tiniest Kuiper Belt object yet – using cheap 'scopes and off-the-shelf CMOS cameras

Boffinry on a shoestring finds icy chunk that's just 1.3km across

30 Jan 05:33 | 37

Skyrora CEO Vladimir Levykin and business development manager Daniel Smith inside the remains of the Black Arrow projectile (the UK's only rocket to successfully launch a satellite into orbit) in a storage facility in Penicuik, near Edinburgh

Sad relics of UK launch capability returned to Blighty while NASA fiddles with Boeing crew

RoundupIndia and China keep chucking out satellites

29 Jan 09:15 | 20

I studied hard, I trained for years. Yay, now I'm an astronaut in space. Argggh, leukemia!

Only veteran 'nauts should think about going to Mars, judging by this research

28 Jan 23:48 | 65

NASA's Opportunity rover celebrates 15 years on Mars – by staying as dead as a doornail

Still, not bad for hardware that was supposed to last 90 days

26 Jan 07:44 | 66

Crispest image yet of Ultima Thule arrives on Earth, but grab a coffee while the rest downloads

At up to 2,003bps, it'll be 2021 before we get all the data

25 Jan 19:01 | 55

SpaceX enjoys three whole seconds of fire and fury on Pad 39A

Crew Dragon demo flight slated for February

25 Jan 15:22 | 10

alien_laser

I can hear the light! Boffins beam audio into ears with freakin' lasers

You can't eavesdrop on these whispers

25 Jan 11:50 | 48

Virgin Galactic

Under Armour and Virgin Galactic team up so tourists can stay on-trend throughout white-knuckle ride into space

What's this on the label? 'Do not wear in actual space'

24 Jan 20:54 | 20

Still from Jan 23 launch livestream

Starship bloopers: In touching tribute to Tesla shares, Musk proto-craft tumbles – as Bezos' Blue Origin rocket lifts off

Vid + PicJeff 1 - 0 Elon

24 Jan 02:43 | 57

super_blood_wolf_moon

Q. China just landed on its far side, the US woz there 50 years ago – now Europe wants to mine it? A. It's the Moon

PicPlus: Potential meteoroid snapped crashing into surface during total lunar eclipse

23 Jan 06:46 | 45

A Delta IV Heavy heads for space at last while New Horizons' fumes OK for 'future missions'

RoundupAlso: Is that an aerospike in your pocket or are bells more your thing?

22 Jan 09:59 | 22

Holy crappuccino. There's a latte trouble brewing... Bio-boffins reckon 60%+ of coffee species may be doomed

Climate change is going to make Monday mornings much, much, much more of a grind

21 Jan 06:02 | 147

Friday fun fact: If Stegosauruses had space telescopes, they wouldn't have seen any rings around Saturn

Bet you were expecting a rude ring pun here? Well, not today

18 Jan 05:12 | 57

RIP 2019-2019: The first plant to grow on the Moon? Yeah, it's dead already, Chinese admit

The poor cotton seedling froze to death as temperatures plunged during the lunar night

16 Jan 22:28 | 141

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