Personal Tech News and Views for the World • The Register

Amazon triples profit to $11.2bn, pays ZERO DOLLARS in corp tax – instead we pay it $129m

Oracle throws toys out pram again, tells US claims court: Competing for Pentagon cloud contract isn't fair!

Crypto crash leads to inventory pile-up at Nvidia, sales slaughtered

Return of the audio format wars and other money-making scams

Missed Valentine's Day? Take your beloved to a Visual Studio 2019 launch event instead

Billionaire Buffet's Berkshire liquidates $2.1bn stake in Oracle – months after buying the shares

Dratted hipster UX designers stole my corporate app

Want to know what 2020 holds? Microsoft has a little something for you

Well Holby damned! We've caught a virus: Brit medical soap operas team up for 'cyber' episode

'This collaboration is absolutely critical going forward'... One positive thing about Meltdown CPU hole? At least it put aside tech rivalries...

Use an 8-char Windows NTLM password? Don't. Every single one can be cracked in under 2.5hrs

Bad news for WannaCry slayer Marcus Hutchins: Judge rules being young, hungover, and in a strange land doesn't obviate evidence

Want to learn how to accelerate your software ops AND save big?

Squarespace's Tanya Reilly to deliver keynote at Continuous Lifecycle London

Looking to give wings to your software development and deployment?

You like JavaScript! You really like it! Scripting lingo tops dev survey of programming languages

The algorithms! They're manipulating all of us! reckon human rights bods Council of Europe

Facebook political data probe: £2.5m. Powers for the ICO: Priceless

OK, Google? Probably not! EU settles on wording for copyright reform legislation

UK Home Office dumps huge sack of complex data sets on biometrics ethics board's desk, goes for beer (probably)

Pokemon No! Good news: You can now ban the virtual pests, er, pets to stop nerds wandering around your property

Banking in 2019: Sure, we'd recommend TSB's online, mobe banking say cowed customers

Surface Studio 2: The Vulture rakes a talon over Microsoft's latest box of desktop delight

Roses are red, Facebook will pay, to make Uncle Sam go away: Zuck, FTC in $bn settlement rumor

Geek's Guide

NASA's Dawn Mission receives nod in memory of Apollo 13 'naut for asteroid belt derring-do

Help us sniff out 50 neutron star collisions so we can calculate universe expansion, cosmoboffins plead

How's this for sci-fi: Orbiting probes face fiery death dive from planet's radiation belts. And that planet is Earth

Opportunity's mission is over, but InSight almost ready for a driller thriller below Martian surface

Bloke thrown in the cooler for eight years after 3D-printing gun to dodge weapon ban

Blockchain is bullsh!t, prove me wrong meets 'chain gang fans at tech confab

Boss of venerable sect with millions of devoted followers meets boss of venerable sect with... yeah, you get the idea

Roses are red, this is sublime: We fed OpenAI's latest chat bot a classic Reg headline

Verity Stob

Sussex rap fan wants statue of Easy-E from NWA in his hometown because he's a 'legend'

Airbus will shutter its A380 production line from 2021

Pandas so useless they just look at delicious kid who fell into enclosure

US kids apparently talking like Peppa Pig... How about US lawmakers watching Doctor Who?

Personal Tech

The hit augmented reality smartphone app "Pokemon GO" shows a Pokemon encounter overlain on a real world trail in the forest in Santa Cruz, California. Photo by Matthew Corley for Shutterstock. EDITORIAL USE ONLY!.

Pokemon No! Good news: You can now ban the virtual pests, er, pets to stop nerds wandering around your property

Lawyers clean up after games biz settles with homeowners sick of zombie players

15 Feb 22:15 | 5

A man gives a reluctant thumbs up

Banking in 2019: Sure, we'd recommend TSB's online, mobe banking say cowed customers

TITSUP* bank gets thumbs up from personal banking users

15 Feb 15:05 | 21

Advertisement

Surface Studio 2: The Vulture rakes a talon over Microsoft's latest box of desktop delight

Hands OnLovely screen, shame about the price

15 Feb 12:01 | 22

Roses are red, Facebook will pay, to make Uncle Sam go away: Zuck, FTC in $bn settlement rumor

Antisocial network may shell out billions to end watchdog's privacy probe, it is reported

15 Feb 00:38 | 11

White House and FCC announce big, broken solutions to America's pitiful broadband

Why fight an oligopoly when you can subsidize it?

14 Feb 23:50 | 16

How do you like them Apples? Tim Cook's iPhones sitting in the tree, feeling unloved by the Chinese

Sales of Jesus mobe slump by double digits in Middle Kingdom

14 Feb 15:15 | 32

Is Oppo short for Opportunistic? BBK opens UK doors

A dubious slider and a bargain midranger. Forgotten the chocolates? We'll warn you now: Danger!

14 Feb 12:38 | 10

Roses are red, we've received about fifty. Google's next trick? Pixels for the thrifty

Cheap Google mobes this year, at least according to Nikkei

14 Feb 11:28 | 15

Lenovo ThinkPad P1: Sumptuous pro PC that gets a tad warm

Long Term TestBattery could be improved, we charge

14 Feb 09:05 | 24

out of the frying pan into the fire

Take your pick: Linux on Windows 10 hardware, or Windows 10 on Linux hardware

We can't see the Arm in having a little tinker

13 Feb 16:16 | 58

Haynes Service Manual

Granddaddy of the DIY repair generation John Haynes has loosened his last nut

ObitiFixit pays tribute to 'beacon of light' for the fixers of the world

13 Feb 12:57 | 99

hole punched in wall

Samsung Galaxy's flagship leaks ... don't matter much. Here's why

Hole puncher, hole puncher... where's headphone jack? Leave out the notch, add hole for snap flash...

13 Feb 11:21 | 56

Astigan Ordnance Survey high altitude “pseudo satellite

I am just a mapper: Solar drones take to the skies above Blighty

90 days without a refuel

12 Feb 12:17 | 74

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RIP Dr Peuto, Zilog and Sun's bright SPARC

ObitWe bid farewell to the best kind of 16-bit hustler...

12 Feb 10:47 | 57

Mini computer flingers go after a slice of the high street retail Pi

Eben Upton talks to El Reg about hopes, dreams and solid starts

11 Feb 12:00 | 71

OK, Google. Music in 2019 isn't what it was, but Play nice, will ya?

Bug appears to hate tunes released this year

08 Feb 09:50 | 55

Lovely website you got there. Would be a shame if we, er, someone were to sink it: Google warns EU link tax will magnify media monetary misery

Let us copy your snippets, or say goodbye to revenue

08 Feb 06:03 | 93

Almost £5k for a deskslab: Microsoft's Surface Studio 2 hits UK

Eye-pleasing graphics to match eye-watering pricing

07 Feb 13:10 | 30

Apple hands keys for retail to HR boss amid flagging iPhone sales

Deirdre O'Brien to take reins from Angela Ahrendts

06 Feb 12:04 | 21

Is this a wind-up? Planet Computers boss calls time on ZX Spectrum reboot firm

Lots of unanswered questions remain – and nobody's talking

05 Feb 09:20 | 28

Siri, how do you wipe that smug smile from Qualcomm's face? Apple wins patent skirmish with chip nemesis

Four of eight lawsuits brought by Qualy against iGiant booted out of German court

01 Feb 06:53 | 16

MOST READ

password

Use an 8-char Windows NTLM password? Don't. Every single one can be cracked in under 2.5hrs

Pandas so useless they just look at delicious kid who fell into enclosure

Someone holding a filthy sock

Oh Snapd! Gimme-root-now security bug lets miscreants sock it to your Ubuntu boxes

Marcus Hutchins

Bad news for WannaCry slayer Marcus Hutchins: Judge rules being young, hungover, and in a strange land doesn't obviate evidence

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iPhone price cuts are coming, teases Apple CEO. Bring-bring Hello, Apple UK? It's El Reg. You free to chat?

Snow joke, we really want to know if they'll land in the UK

30 Jan 13:29 | 105

Even Windows 10 can't save the PC market as chip shortages, Brexit uncertainties bite

Consumers pinch pennies while Brit biz tries to get the budget spent before you-know-what

30 Jan 10:28 | 31

Apple: Good news, everyone – sales are less bad than we thought. Not amazing but not bad. $84bn is $84bn, tho

Cook and co get a boost after topping their own low bar

30 Jan 01:58 | 23

fed up

Apple files yet another appeal against $503m FaceTime patent payout

Claims it redesigned around VirnetX IP. That obviously worked well then...

29 Jan 20:31 | 14

Tim Cook, photo2 by JStone via Shutterstock

Ouch, Apple! Plenty of iPhones stuck in tech channel. How many? That's a 'wild card'

Plus: Chinese buyers may turn on firm, warns analyst

29 Jan 11:09 | 65

vampire

Apple: You can't sue us for slowing down your iPhones because you, er, invited us into, uh, your home... we can explain

We're like a building contractor, explains Cupertino. More like vampires, thinks rest of world

28 Jan 22:19 | 175

Compute Module 3+

Raspberry Pi Foundation says its final farewells to 40nm with release of Compute Module 3+

Flash storage embiggened, CPU clock speed less so

28 Jan 16:55 | 52

The Apple Mac is 35 years old. Behold the beige box of the future

Want expansion? Tough. You're using it wrong.

25 Jan 13:12 | 111

Sprint subscribers: What do your updated iPhone and Tonga have in common? Both are cut off from the world

Dash it all... Fix rushed out after iOS 12.1.3 security patch collides with US telco

24 Jan 20:45 | 15

Look out, kids. Your Tinder account is about to be swamped by old people... probably

Hookup app maker dishes out super-likes and $25 in cash to settle lawsuit

23 Jan 19:21 | 31

Court orders moribund ZX Spectrum reboot firm's directors to stump up £38k legal costs bill

Looks like the final act in the grubby Vega+ saga

23 Jan 11:06 | 54

surprised nerd, image via Shutterstock

Stage fright or Stage light? Depends how far you dare to open your MacBook Pro's lid

Pursuit of ever skinnier laptops blamed as some post-2016 displays start failing

22 Jan 19:30 | 51

Microsoft Surface 3 Windows 8.1 tablet

Surface: Tested to withstand the NFL. Microsoft firmware updates? Not so much

Windows is updating your play-by-play, this may take a while

22 Jan 13:11 | 20

Apple hardware priced so high that no one wants to buy it? It's 1983 all over again

FeatureThe iPhone time machine takes us back 36 years... to the Apple Lisa

21 Jan 10:00 | 229

Tim Cook, photo by JStone via Shutterstock

Most munificent Apple killed itself with kindness. Oh. Really?

AnalysisWhy the battery story doesn't add up

17 Jan 10:08 | 106

Three quarters of US Facebook users unaware their online behavior gets tracked

You mean they are collecting our opinions to sell ads? Who would have guessed it?

17 Jan 02:08 | 73

US prosecutors: Hey, you know how we said 'net gambling was OK? LMAO, we were wrong

2011 ban on interstate, foreign sports betting extended to online lotteries, poker, casinos

16 Jan 01:55 | 38

FCC's answer to scandal of AT&T, Sprint, T-Mobile US selling people's location data: Burying its head in the ground

Congressman warns telco regulator: Must Pai harder

15 Jan 19:42 | 28

Brit comms regulator Ofcom: Disabled left behind by tech

Have fewer phones, less internet access, says report

15 Jan 15:55 | 16

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