Personal Tech News and Views for the World • The Register

Remember Woolworths? Well it still exists in Oz. And Telstra wants NBN Co to help shove fibre in it

Ginni, you may have to get out and push: IBM sales, profit stuck in the mud. $13bn is $13bn, tho

Core blimey... When is an AMD CPU core not a CPU core? It's now up to a jury of 12 to decide

Veeam: Users are crying out for cloud tiers

Oracle's priorities for 2019? Repeat this handy mantra: Applications! Automation! Integration!

We all love bonking to pay, but if you bonk with a Windows Phone then Microsoft has bad news

Canonical brings some bling to the Internet of Things with Snap-happy Ubuntu Core 18 release

Microsoft's Master Chief calls time on Cortana as a standalone AI platform

White-listing Azure cloud connections to grease your Office 365 wheels? About that...

Build the wall... around your DNS settings, US govt IT staff urged by Homeland Security amid domain hijackings

Plug in your iPhone, iPad, iPod, fire up the App Store: You have new Apple patches to install

Wow, fancy that. Web ad giant Google to block ad-blockers in Chrome. For safety, apparently

Atlassian barges into the billion dollar club with a cheery G'Day!

The DevOps Salary Report is in, and is great news for American men

Non-profit? Into DevOps, CI/CD, Containers? There’s a CLL ticket with your name on it

Kubernetes co-founder Joe Beda to kick off our Continuous Lifecycle London conference

Qualcomm: Please don't hate us just 'cause we're so freaking excellent

Oracle robbed just about anyone who wasn't a pasty white male of $400m, says Uncle Sam

Dixons Carphone still counting cost of miserly mobile phone sales

Wall St moneymen on IBM Q4 financials: Don't get your hopes up

Court orders moribund ZX Spectrum reboot firm's directors to stump up £38k legal costs bill

Stage fright or Stage light? Depends how far you dare to open your MacBook Pro's lid

Surface: Tested to withstand the NFL. Microsoft firmware updates? Not so much

Apple hardware priced so high that no one wants to buy it? It's 1983 all over again

Geek's Guide

Q. China just landed on its far side, the US woz there 50 years ago – now Europe wants to mine it? A. It's the Moon

A Delta IV Heavy heads for space at last while New Horizons' fumes OK for 'future missions'

Holy crappuccino. There's a latte trouble brewing... Bio-boffins reckon 60%+ of coffee species may be doomed

Friday fun fact: If Stegosauruses had space telescopes, they wouldn't have seen any rings around Saturn

Oz auditor: Number of times failed government biometric project met a milestone = None

The most annoying British export since Piers Morgan: 'Drones' halt US airport flights

You heard the latest Chinese CRISPRs? They are real: Renegade bio-boffin did genetically modify baby twins

EasyJet boss says pre-Chrimbo Gatwick drone chaos cost it £15m

Verity Stob

Everyday doings of a metropolitan techie: Stob's software diary

Hardworking Americans keep busy during the government shutdown driving up smut traffic

Struggling with GDPR compliance? Don't waste money on legal advice: Buy a shredder

Clone your own Prince Phil, says eBay seller hawking debris left over from royal car crash

Personal Tech

empty pockets

Court orders moribund ZX Spectrum reboot firm's directors to stump up £38k legal costs bill

Looks like the final act in the grubby Vega+ saga

23 Jan 11:06 | 2

surprised nerd, image via Shutterstock

Stage fright or Stage light? Depends how far you dare to open your MacBook Pro's lid

Pursuit of ever skinnier laptops blamed as some post-2016 displays start failing

22 Jan 19:30 | 33

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Surface: Tested to withstand the NFL. Microsoft firmware updates? Not so much

Windows is updating your play-by-play, this may take a while

22 Jan 13:11 | 19

Apple hardware priced so high that no one wants to buy it? It's 1983 all over again

FeatureThe iPhone time machine takes us back 36 years... to the Apple Lisa

21 Jan 10:00 | 222

Most munificent Apple killed itself with kindness. Oh. Really?

AnalysisWhy the battery story doesn't add up

17 Jan 10:08 | 106

Three quarters of US Facebook users unaware their online behavior gets tracked

You mean they are collecting our opinions to sell ads? Who would have guessed it?

17 Jan 02:08 | 73

US prosecutors: Hey, you know how we said 'net gambling was OK? LMAO, we were wrong

2011 ban on interstate, foreign sports betting extended to online lotteries, poker, casinos

16 Jan 01:55 | 38

FCC's answer to scandal of AT&T, Sprint, T-Mobile US selling people's location data: Burying its head in the ground

Congressman warns telco regulator: Must Pai harder

15 Jan 19:42 | 28

Brit comms regulator Ofcom: Disabled left behind by tech

Have fewer phones, less internet access, says report

15 Jan 15:55 | 16

A billion-dollar question: What was really behind Qualcomm's surprise ten-digit gift to Apple?

Is the chip company an abusive monopolist – or tough negotiator?

14 Jan 23:00 | 23

18+ key on keyboard

xHamster reports spike in UK users getting their five-knuckle shuffle on before pr0n age checks

Or Jillin' off, for the ladies

11 Jan 12:27 | 120

CES flicks the off switch on massager award… and causes a buzz

Something for the Weekend, Sir?It's not the messiah, it's just very naughty metadata

11 Jan 10:00 | 86

xmas

Gartner: Not a very merry Christmas for PC market as chip shortage bites, small biz vanishes

If you're not Lenovo, HP or Dell it has been a year of shrinkage

10 Jan 23:42 | 5

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Peak Apple: This time it's SERIOUS, Tim

CommentWhat Captain Cook can do next for Cupertino

10 Jan 10:52 | 189

Steamer closets, flying cars, robot boxers, smart-mock-cock ban hypocrisy – yes, it's the worst of CES this year

CES 2019And we're only halfway through the week

10 Jan 00:57 | 47

Thought Macbooks were expensive? Dell UK unveils the 7 meeeellion pound laptop

Includes a £3m discount. Excludes VAT and delivery

09 Jan 12:36 | 43

Before dipping a toe in the new ThinkPad high-end, make sure your desk is compatible

As in, big enough

09 Jan 09:03 | 61

US trade watchdog, mobe makers queue to smack Qualcomm as antitrust trilogy opens

Will there be a deal or no deal?

08 Jan 02:50 | 21

Low-power chips are secret sauce behind long-life wearables

CES 2019Fancy that – dumb is the new smart

07 Jan 14:58 | 34

My 2019 resolution? Not to buy any of THIS rubbish

Something for the Weekend, Sir?Simply the best! Worse than all the rest!

04 Jan 09:26 | 218

Full frontal vulnerability: Photos can still trick, unlock Android mobes via facial recognition

Dutch consumer club names 42 easy-to-fool cameras

04 Jan 06:01 | 51

MOST READ

Chrome icon on sandy beach

Wow, fancy that. Web ad giant Google to block ad-blockers in Chrome. For safety, apparently

Hot ticket

Want to spin up Ubuntu VMs from Windows 10's command line, eh? We'll need to see a Multipass

keys hanging from ceiling

Get in the bin: Let's Encrypt gives admins until February 13 to switch off TLS-SNI-01

French data watchdog dishes out largest GDPR fine yet: Google ordered to hand over €50m

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Chip-for-tat escalates: Qualcomm's billion-Euro bond to block Apple iPhone sales in Germany

Some mobes off the shelves pending appeal in international patent battle drama

04 Jan 05:06 | 17

Found yet another plastic nostalgia knock-off under the tree? You, sir, need an emulator

Version 8 of Amiga Forever arrives to save the gadget drawer from yet more junk

03 Jan 08:57 | 59

Apple blew my mind – literally, says woman: MagSafe plug sparked face-torching blaze, lawsuit claims

Defective kit caused oxygen mask conflagration, court told

03 Jan 07:48 | 43

Nobody in China wants Apple's eye-wateringly priced iPhones, sighs CEO Tim Cook

Peak AppleWho could have guessed the $1,100 phone and $800 watch wouldn't sell?

03 Jan 02:28 | 161

Elderly man making a horns gesture

FCC tosses aside rules, treats Google to a happy ending following request for handy tech

Comms watchdog lets Chocolate Factory power up with special waiver

03 Jan 01:50 | 18

Gilets jaunes protests in marseille on 1 december 2018. Pic: GERARD BOTTINO / Shutterstock.com

It's a lot of work, being popular: Apple, Tim Cook and the gilets jaunes

CommentNo phones for the sans-culottes? It's an interesting strategy

21 Dec 18:57 | 34

Apple yanks iPhones from sale in Germany – and maybe China, too – amid Qualcomm spat

Courts crack down on Cupertino idiot-tax operation as tech patent war explodes

20 Dec 22:40 | 25

Mark Zuckerberg did everything in his power to avoid Facebook becoming the next MySpace – but forgot one crucial detail…

CommentNo one likes a lying asshole

20 Dec 00:09 | 224

Suunto settles scary scuba screwup for $50m: 'Faulty' dive computer hardware and software put explorers in peril

Divers claimed biz knew of defective kit, failed to fix it

19 Dec 07:09 | 99

Newsflash: Twitter still toxic place for women, particular those of color, Amnesty study finds

Journos, politicos trolled, abused 'once every 30 secs'

18 Dec 20:24 | 48

The Palm Palm: The Derringer of smartphones

ReviewA wearable crossed with a mobile? Sounds terrible, but it's lovely

18 Dec 12:00 | 104

Apple iPhone X detail

Apple iPhone X screen falls short of promises, lawsuit says

Complaint argues false pixels, notch, and measurements don't fit with ad claims

15 Dec 00:45 | 74

Coal miners

Razer offers freebies to gamers who descend into its coin mine

Generate made-up currency in exchange for a different made-up currency

14 Dec 07:01 | 26

grave

Sidecar drags itself out the grave, sues Uber for putting it there

Cab hailing app accuses rival of predatory prices and fake bookings

14 Dec 01:09 | 8

Telcos enlist Google, Amazon to help protect Europe's data from Big Tech

CommentOrange, DT's plan to take on firms that create 'competitive asymmetries'

13 Dec 16:26 | 11

Oxford startup magics up metamaterials for next-gen charging

It doesn't make you invisible, but it could make powerups less painful

13 Dec 09:10 | 29

Microsoft to rule the biz chat roost – survey

Slack off, hipsters

11 Dec 15:30 | 23

College PRIMOS prankster wreaks havoc with sysadmin manuals

Who, Me?Claims it was all for the greater good

10 Dec 07:28 | 120

Google: I don't know why you say Allo, I say goodbye

Sidelined messaging app given end-of-life date of March 2019

07 Dec 12:55 | 35

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