Personal Tech News and Views for the World • The Register

HPE has an idea about where you should stick your workloads... Ouch. No, definitely not there

Vengeful sacked IT bod destroyed ex-employer's AWS cloud accounts. Now he'll spent rest of 2019 in the clink

CLOUDERA gets all SHOUTY about rebrand: SMASHES capslock, but easy on the elephants

Bless. It's VMware and Dell EMC's first jointly engineered hybrid cloud infrastructure solution

Android clampdown on calls and texts access trashes bunch of apps

Don't get the pitchforks yet, Apple devs: macOS third-party application clampdown probably not as bad as rumored

Microsoft buffs up its open-source halo to fine sheen with PostgreSQL GUI in Azure Data Studio

Oracle's long-running pension plan class action case: C'mon, judge, reject a jury trial – Big Red

Silence of the WANs: FBI DDoS-for-hire greaseball takedowns slash web flood attacks 'by 11%'

Ransomware drops the Lillehammer on Norsk Hydro: Aluminium giant forced into manual mode after systems scrambled

Sorry, Linux. We know you want to be popular, but cyber-crooks are all about Microsoft for now

PuTTY in your hands: SSH client gets patched after RSA key exchange memory vuln spotted

Atlassian bats eyelashes at the enterprise with AgileCraft acquisition

Hey, DevOps fans. We've got another TLA for you to write down: CDF

From on-prem to serverless, here’s how to transform your software ops

Wanna improve your software ops? Need to cut through container hype? Like saving cash?

I don't hate US tech, snarls Euro monopoly watchdog chief – as Google slapped with €1.49bn megafine

Google takes a page from Microsoft of old and revives browser ballot on Android

Carphone Warehouse thwacked by UK Advertising watchdog for a Cyber Monday wobble

Look what the Softcat dragged in: Revenues grow 21% as UK reseller refuses to blink at Brexit

Apple's revamped iPad beams a workhorse in from Planet Ludicrous

In a humiliating climbdown, Facebook agrees to follow US laws

Super Cali optimistic right-to-repair's negotious, even though Apple thought it was something quite atrocious

So about that Atari reboot console... you might want to sit down. It's going to be late, OK?

Geek's Guide

Boeing big cheese repeats pledge of 737 Max software updates following fatal crashes

NASA: We need commercial rockets! SLS: Oh no you don't!

What made a super high-tech home in Victorian England? Hydroelectric witchery, for starters

'Naut trio successfully dock at ISS after Soyuz rocket goes all the way

This ain't AI, it's a goddamn arms race – but US shouldn't get too heated, Congressman warns

Could OpenAI's 'too dangerous to release' language model be used to mimic you on online? Yes, says this chap: I built a bot to prove it

Want to cruise your auto auto around but don't fancy killing people? Nvidia has an answer

Sign of the times: Mirai botnet strain fine-tunes itself to infect digital signage, projectors

Verity Stob

Brexit text-it wrecks it: Vote Leave fined £40k for spamming 200k msgs ahead of EU referendum

Croydon school rolling in toilet roll after Brexit gift deemed unfit for the Queen's Anus Horribilis

Wondering why 'Devin Nunes herp-face' was trending online? Here's the 411: House rep sues Twitter for all the rude stuff tweeted about him

Mayors having a right 'mare in Florida: Acting mayor arrested weeks after boss also arrested

Personal Tech

2019 iPad Air

Apple's revamped iPad beams a workhorse in from Planet Ludicrous

AnalysisPro features trickle down to the rest of us

20 Mar 09:16 | 26

discrimination

In a humiliating climbdown, Facebook agrees to follow US laws

Ad targeting system overhaul to stop landlords from discriminating based on race

19 Mar 21:48 | 38

Advertisement

Super Cali optimistic right-to-repair's negotious, even though Apple thought it was something quite atrocious

US state joins others mulling laws allowing folks to freely fix their kit

19 Mar 19:48 | 54

So about that Atari reboot console... you might want to sit down. It's going to be late, OK?

But it'll be cooler, faster and just all-round betterer! Honest!

19 Mar 15:59 | 30

Qualcomm wins Apple patent case, loses Apple patent case, wins Apple patent case, loses Apple patent case...

AnalysisTime to revisit the idea of patent portfolio as nuclear deterrence?

18 Mar 20:36 | 13

Apple bestows first hardware upgrades in years upon neglected iPad Mini and Air lines

And a stylus! But goes without saying that it ain't cheap

18 Mar 16:05 | 73

How many Reg columnists does it take to turn off a lightbulb?

Something for the Weekend, Sir?'New technology baffles pissed old hack' (© Private Eye)

15 Mar 09:03 | 175

Bombs Huawei... Smartphone exploded in my daughter's pocket, seriously burning her, claims dad in lawsuit

Yet another legal brouhaha for Chinese giant, this time nothing to do with equipment bans

15 Mar 07:02 | 47

We'll help you get your next fix... maybe, we'll think about it, says FTC: 'Right to repair' mulled

Federal Trade Commission will turn Fault-finder, Tinker, Customize this summer

14 Mar 23:59 | 48

Samsung S9 and S9+

Samsung slings the skinny on its 12GB GötterDRAMmerung for next-gen smartmobes

Get ready for handhelds with notebook-beating RAM chips

14 Mar 19:59 | 11

Samsung Galaxy Buds

The HeirPod? Samsung Galaxy Buds teardown finds tiny wireless cans 'surprisingly repairable'

It is easy to make itsy-bitsy tech without spaffing glue all over the place

14 Mar 01:58 | 42

Facebook

What today links Gmail, Google Drive, YouTube, Facebook, Instagram – apart from being run by monopolistic personal data harvesters?

UpdatedThey all fell over, fears of massive DDoS denied

13 Mar 20:56 | 62

iPhone XS

China still doesn't want iPhones despite Apple slashing prices, say market watchers

Wanted: A cheap model?

13 Mar 16:07 | 38

Advertisement

At last! A solution for those unable to wrench their gaze from Windows 10... Er, it's Your Phone

No, not your phone. It's 2019, for heaven's sake. The app

13 Mar 12:23 | 6

There was yet another net neutrality hearing today in America, and it was all straightened out amicably and smoothly

No, of course it wasn't

12 Mar 21:36 | 19

Uber driver drove sleeping woman miles away from home to 'up the fare'. Now he's facing years in the clink for kidnapping, fraud

Victim says she woke to feel dial-a-ride creep groping her in back seat, phone missing

12 Mar 00:21 | 75

Tired of smashing your face into the brick wall that is US net neutrality? Too bad. There's a long way to go yet, friends

AnalysisDemocrats launch new legislation that won't pass, but will cause months of argument

07 Mar 23:15 | 11

God DRAM, that's a big price drop: Memory down 30 per cent, claim industry watchers

Plummeting chip prices are collateral damage from ongoing Intel CPU shortage

07 Mar 20:46 | 26

Meizu ditched hole-free phone because it was 'just the marketing team messing about', not because no one really gave a toss

OK, whatever you say

07 Mar 15:13 | 42

Galaxy S10's under-glass fingerprint reader, quelle surprise, makes mobe a right pain to fix

Who'da thunk it? 3 out of 10 for repairability, must try harder

06 Mar 17:34 | 25

You'll never guess who's giving Google a right shoeing lately. Talking about barring Chrome, Search as defaults... any other nations watching?

Throw another regulation on the barbie, says Australia

06 Mar 07:03 | 27

MOST READ

PuTTY in your hands: SSH client gets patched after RSA key exchange memory vuln spotted

Boeing 737 Max

Boeing big cheese repeats pledge of 737 Max software updates following fatal crashes

Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella

Sorry, Linux. We know you want to be popular, but cyber-crooks are all about Microsoft for now

Myspace screengrab. Editorial credit: thelefty / Shutterstock.com

From MySpace to MyFreeDiskSpace: 12 years of music – 50m songs – blackholed amid mystery server move

Advertisement

The first ZX Spectrum prototype laid bare... (What? It was acceptable in the '80s)

Clear! Museum hopes to bring silicon back to life over next few weeks

05 Mar 12:45 | 73

Haha! Conformist 'Droids! Yep, that's what's most profitable these days, says Nokia

♫ We were always being boring

05 Mar 11:40 | 13

Cheap as chips: There's no such thing as a free lunch any Moore

ColumnIndustry faces down Spectre of performance optimisation

05 Mar 10:06 | 44

USB4: Based on Thunderbolt 3. Two times the data rate, at 40Gbps. One fewer space. Zero confusing versions

We live in hope – you'll have to wait until 2020 at the earliest

05 Mar 00:16 | 105

lock horns

Good news: Congress has solutions to end net neutrality brouhaha. Bad news: Two competing sets of solutions...

AnalysisWe're gonna save America's internet, scream both sides in different ways

04 Mar 21:25 | 12

It's not your imagination: Ticket scalper bots are flooding the internet according this 'ere study

'40 per cent' of purchases are automated – but do gig organizers care when a sale is a sale?

01 Mar 22:49 | 99

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg

Correction: Last month, we called Zuckerberg a moron. We apologize. In fact, he and Facebook are a fscking disgrace

AnalysisWhen it said 5 per cent of banned slurp app users were kids, it actually meant much, much more than that

01 Mar 22:14 | 135

Why are there never free power sockets when my Y-fronts need charging?

Something for the Weekend, Sir?If I had my way, I'd have sparks flying from your underwear

01 Mar 11:00 | 136

YouTube's pedo problem is so bad, it just switched off comments on millions of vids of small kids to stem the tide of vileness

But this moneybags web giant is not a publisher, got that?

28 Feb 23:01 | 125

Another way to look at Amazon's counterfeit-busting Project Zero: Making merchants cough up protection money

AnalysisIt's up to you to stop fake stuff going on sale in our cyber-bazaar, says multibillion-dollar biz

28 Feb 22:13 | 30

Lenovo kicks down door of MWC, dumps a stack of sexy new ThinkPads

MWCThey're ThinkPads, but a bit better than before

27 Feb 09:15 | 56

man holds hand up in gesture of rejection

LG's new gesture UI for mobes, while technically interesting, is still a little hand-wavy at the mo

MWC Hands OnAnd it makes you look silly

26 Feb 17:11 | 14

Sony Xperia 10

Long phone is loooong: Sony swipes at flagship fatigue with 21:9 tall boy

MWC Hands OnThis one gets everything right

26 Feb 11:38 | 67

man contemplating /meditating in silhouette against sunset

'God, Send Mobiles,' the industry prayed back in the '90s. This time, 5G actually has it covered

MWC AnalysisNetworks may be late, but handsets are here

26 Feb 05:59 | 17

MateBook 14 (2019)

Fan boy 3: Huawei overhauls Air-a-like MateBooks

MWCNew kit runs a bit faster, costs less

25 Feb 12:35 | 34

Nokia 9: HMD Global hauls PureView™ out of brand limbo

MWCFive shiny lenses at a sensible price

25 Feb 11:31 | 28

It all hinges on this: Huawei goes after Samsung with its own foldable hybrid Mate X

MWCBut at around £2,000, you might want to wait

25 Feb 10:20 | 61

Microsoft unveils HoloLens 2: Pitches AR goggles at suits

MWCWe'd like to Azure you, mixed reality has a business application

25 Feb 09:11 | 17

ZX Spectrum Vega+ 'backer'? Nope, you're now a creditor – and should probably act fast

Speak up and you might recover some of that £513k

22 Feb 16:48 | 56

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