Personal Tech News and Views for the World • The Register

At 900k lines of code, ONOS is getting heavy. Can it go on a diet?

Are you sure your disc drive has stopped rotating, or are you just ignoring the messages?

Man drives 6,000 miles to prove Uncle Sam's cellphone coverage maps are wrong – and, boy, did he manage it

FCC: Oh no, deary me. What a shame. Too bad, so sad we can't do net neutrality appeal during the US govt shutdown

Red Hat gets heebie-jeebies over MongoDB's T&Cs squeeze: NoSQL database dropped from RHEL 8B over license

It’s baaack – Microsoft starts pushing out the Windows 10 October 2018 Update

Oracle exec: Open-source vendors locking down licences proves 'they were never really open'

Like, subscribe and comment: Sage takes a breath as cloud sales bounce

I used to be a dull John Doe. Thanks to Huawei, I'm now James Bond!

Microsoft blue biz bug bounty bonanza beckons

Old bugs, new bugs, red bugs … yes, it's Oracle mega-update day again

Got a Drupal-powered website? You may want to get patching now...

The DevOps Salary Report is in, and is great news for American men

Non-profit? Into DevOps, CI/CD, Containers? There’s a CLL ticket with your name on it

Kubernetes co-founder Joe Beda to kick off our Continuous Lifecycle London conference

Crap app tapped to trap mishaps: Demo insecure software built to school devs on secure coding

Tech giant to spend $500m dealing with housing crisis caused by tech giants

Campaigners get go-ahead to challenge exemption UK gave itself over immigrants' data

Slack to fend off the collaboration competition with... a new logo

Diplomat warns that tech industry has become a pawn as politicos fight dirty

Most munificent Apple killed itself with kindness. Oh. Really?

Three quarters of US Facebook users unaware their online behavior gets tracked

US prosecutors: Hey, you know how we said 'net gambling was OK? LMAO, we were wrong

FCC's answer to scandal of AT&T, Sprint, T-Mobile US selling people's location data: Burying its head in the ground

Geek's Guide

Friday fun fact: If Stegosauruses had space telescopes, they wouldn't have seen any rings around Saturn

RIP 2019-2019: The first plant to grow on the Moon? Yeah, it's dead already, Chinese admit

Iran satellite fails: ICBM test drive or microsat test? Opinion is divided...

The Large Hadron Collider is small beer. Give us billions more for bigger kit, say boffins

Watch an AI robot program itself to, er, pick things up and push them around

Having AI assistants ruling our future lives? That's so sad. Alexa play Despacito

McKinsey’s blockchain warning irks crypto hipsters

Bipartisan Kumbaya: President Trump turns Obama's open govt data policy into law

Verity Stob

Oracle boss prevented from Brexit Britain trip due to US shutdown

Fake news? More like ache news. Grandma, grampa 'more likely' to share made-up articles during US election

Smartphones gateway drug to the Antichrist, says leader of Russian Orthodox Church

Reg Standards Bureau introduces the Devon fatberg as coastal town menaced by oily blob

Personal Tech

Tim Cook, photo by JStone via Shutterstock

Most munificent Apple killed itself with kindness. Oh. Really?

AnalysisWhy the battery story doesn't add up

17 Jan 10:08 | 90

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg

Three quarters of US Facebook users unaware their online behavior gets tracked

You mean they are collecting our opinions to sell ads? Who would have guessed it?

17 Jan 02:08 | 67

Advertisement

US prosecutors: Hey, you know how we said 'net gambling was OK? LMAO, we were wrong

2011 ban on interstate, foreign sports betting extended to online lotteries, poker, casinos

16 Jan 01:55 | 38

FCC's answer to scandal of AT&T, Sprint, T-Mobile US selling people's location data: Burying its head in the ground

Congressman warns telco regulator: Must Pai harder

15 Jan 19:42 | 28

Brit comms regulator Ofcom: Disabled left behind by tech

Have fewer phones, less internet access, says report

15 Jan 15:55 | 16

A billion-dollar question: What was really behind Qualcomm's surprise ten-digit gift to Apple?

Is the chip company an abusive monopolist – or tough negotiator?

14 Jan 23:00 | 23

xHamster reports spike in UK users getting their five-knuckle shuffle on before pr0n age checks

Or Jillin' off, for the ladies

11 Jan 12:27 | 120

CES flicks the off switch on massager award… and causes a buzz

Something for the Weekend, Sir?It's not the messiah, it's just very naughty metadata

11 Jan 10:00 | 86

Gartner: Not a very merry Christmas for PC market as chip shortage bites, small biz vanishes

If you're not Lenovo, HP or Dell it has been a year of shrinkage

10 Jan 23:42 | 5

Tim Cook

Peak Apple: This time it's SERIOUS, Tim

CommentWhat Captain Cook can do next for Cupertino

10 Jan 10:52 | 189

Steamer closets, flying cars, robot boxers, smart-mock-cock ban hypocrisy – yes, it's the worst of CES this year

CES 2019And we're only halfway through the week

10 Jan 00:57 | 46

Shock

Thought Macbooks were expensive? Dell UK unveils the 7 meeeellion pound laptop

Includes a £3m discount. Excludes VAT and delivery

09 Jan 12:36 | 43

Thinkpad X1 Yoga keyboard colour

Before dipping a toe in the new ThinkPad high-end, make sure your desk is compatible

As in, big enough

09 Jan 09:03 | 61

Advertisement

US trade watchdog, mobe makers queue to smack Qualcomm as antitrust trilogy opens

Will there be a deal or no deal?

08 Jan 02:50 | 21

Low-power chips are secret sauce behind long-life wearables

CES 2019Fancy that – dumb is the new smart

07 Jan 14:58 | 34

My 2019 resolution? Not to buy any of THIS rubbish

Something for the Weekend, Sir?Simply the best! Worse than all the rest!

04 Jan 09:26 | 218

Full frontal vulnerability: Photos can still trick, unlock Android mobes via facial recognition

Dutch consumer club names 42 easy-to-fool cameras

04 Jan 06:01 | 51

Chip-for-tat escalates: Qualcomm's billion-Euro bond to block Apple iPhone sales in Germany

Some mobes off the shelves pending appeal in international patent battle drama

04 Jan 05:06 | 17

Found yet another plastic nostalgia knock-off under the tree? You, sir, need an emulator

Version 8 of Amiga Forever arrives to save the gadget drawer from yet more junk

03 Jan 08:57 | 59

Apple blew my mind – literally, says woman: MagSafe plug sparked face-torching blaze, lawsuit claims

Defective kit caused oxygen mask conflagration, court told

03 Jan 07:48 | 43

Nobody in China wants Apple's eye-wateringly priced iPhones, sighs CEO Tim Cook

Peak AppleWho could have guessed the $1,100 phone and $800 watch wouldn't sell?

03 Jan 02:28 | 161

MOST READ

Moon

RIP 2019-2019: The first plant to grow on the Moon? Yeah, it's dead already, Chinese admit

two women look disgusted at what they see on a phone screen

Happy Thursday! 770 MEEELLLION email addresses and passwords found in yuge data breach

plasters cover arm. photo by shutterstock

Microsoft sends a raft of Windows 10 patches out into the Windows Update ocean

Death

IBM to kill off Watson... Workspace from end of February

Advertisement

FCC tosses aside rules, treats Google to a happy ending following request for handy tech

Comms watchdog lets Chocolate Factory power up with special waiver

03 Jan 01:50 | 18

It's a lot of work, being popular: Apple, Tim Cook and the gilets jaunes

CommentNo phones for the sans-culottes? It's an interesting strategy

21 Dec 18:57 | 34

Apple yanks iPhones from sale in Germany – and maybe China, too – amid Qualcomm spat

Courts crack down on Cupertino idiot-tax operation as tech patent war explodes

20 Dec 22:40 | 25

Lt Commander All Your Data

Mark Zuckerberg did everything in his power to avoid Facebook becoming the next MySpace – but forgot one crucial detail…

CommentNo one likes a lying asshole

20 Dec 00:09 | 224

suunto

Suunto settles scary scuba screwup for $50m: 'Faulty' dive computer hardware and software put explorers in peril

Divers claimed biz knew of defective kit, failed to fix it

19 Dec 07:09 | 99

Oops I made the mistake of reading Twitter

Newsflash: Twitter still toxic place for women, particular those of color, Amnesty study finds

Journos, politicos trolled, abused 'once every 30 secs'

18 Dec 20:24 | 47

Palm

The Palm Palm: The Derringer of smartphones

ReviewA wearable crossed with a mobile? Sounds terrible, but it's lovely

18 Dec 12:00 | 104

Apple iPhone X screen falls short of promises, lawsuit says

Complaint argues false pixels, notch, and measurements don't fit with ad claims

15 Dec 00:45 | 74

Razer offers freebies to gamers who descend into its coin mine

Generate made-up currency in exchange for a different made-up currency

14 Dec 07:01 | 26

Sidecar drags itself out the grave, sues Uber for putting it there

Cab hailing app accuses rival of predatory prices and fake bookings

14 Dec 01:09 | 8

Telcos enlist Google, Amazon to help protect Europe's data from Big Tech

CommentOrange, DT's plan to take on firms that create 'competitive asymmetries'

13 Dec 16:26 | 11

Metaboard with three smartphones

Oxford startup magics up metamaterials for next-gen charging

It doesn't make you invisible, but it could make powerups less painful

13 Dec 09:10 | 29

Limbo dancing skeleton

Microsoft to rule the biz chat roost – survey

Slack off, hipsters

11 Dec 15:30 | 23

Man types something into Mac while sipping a glass of lemon water. Not a brilliant idea. Photo by SHutterstock

College PRIMOS prankster wreaks havoc with sysadmin manuals

Who, Me?Claims it was all for the greater good

10 Dec 07:28 | 120

Android Nougat

Google: I don't know why you say Allo, I say goodbye

Sidelined messaging app given end-of-life date of March 2019

07 Dec 12:55 | 35

And the next 7nm laptop processor will be designed by In, er, AM, um, Qualcomm: The 64-bit Arm Snapdragon 8CX

UpdatedThe X is for extreme. Dude?

06 Dec 21:00 | 26

Wintel dust up: Intel supply woes vs Win10 demand

Sorry suits, PC sales set to slide this year despite OS excuse to refresh computer tin

06 Dec 10:17 | 9

Do not adjust your set: Hats off to Apple, you struggle to shift iPhones 'cos you're oddly ethical

CommentHey, you forgot to build in some obsolescence

06 Dec 09:46 | 127

Qualcomm lifts lid on 7nm Arm-based octo-core Snapdragon 855 chip for next year's expensive 5G Androids

An NE555 this is not

05 Dec 23:02 | 22

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