Emergent Tech News and Views for the World • The Register

What did turbonerds do before the internet? 41 years ago, a load of BBS

Techie in need of a doorstop picks up 'chunk of metal' – only to find out it's rather pricey

Amazon triples profit to $11.2bn, pays ZERO DOLLARS in corp tax – instead we pay it $129m

Oracle throws toys out pram again, tells US claims court: Competing for Pentagon cloud contract isn't fair!

Down productivity tools: Microsoft Teams takes a Monday tumble

Windows Subsystem for Linux adds pop to release, SAC-T sacked, crypto-jacking apps: It's Microsoft's week

After outrage over Chrome ad-block block plan, Google backs away from crippling web advert, content filters

Missed Valentine's Day? Take your beloved to a Visual Studio 2019 launch event instead

Australian prime minister blames 'state level' baddies for Oz parliament breach

Data-spewing Spectre chip flaws can't be killed by software alone, Google boffins conclude

Tens of millions more web accounts for sale after more sites hacked, Mac malware spreads via Windows.exe, and more

Well Holby damned! We've caught a virus: Brit medical soap operas team up for 'cyber' episode

Want to learn how to accelerate your software ops AND save big?

Squarespace's Tanya Reilly to deliver keynote at Continuous Lifecycle London

Looking to give wings to your software development and deployment?

You like JavaScript! You really like it! Scripting lingo tops dev survey of programming languages

Court sees Morissette Meter flip out as Oracle assumes anti-arbitration stance in pay dispute

HPE wants British ex-CFO to testify in UK Autonomy lawsuit before Uncle Sam sentences him

Here come the riled MPs (it's private, huh), Facebook's a digital 'gangster' ('disingen-u-ous'). Zuckerberg he is a failure (on sharing data)

The algorithms! They're manipulating all of us! reckon human rights bods Council of Europe

Solder and Lego required: The Register builds glorious Project Alias gizmo to deafen Alexa

Pokemon No! Good news: You can now ban the virtual pests, er, pets to stop nerds wandering around your property

Banking in 2019: Sure, we'd recommend TSB's online, mobe banking say cowed customers

Surface Studio 2: The Vulture rakes a talon over Microsoft's latest box of desktop delight

Geek's Guide

Surrey Uni mans the space harpoons, and NASA buys more seats on Russian rockets

How's this for sci-fi: A cosmic river of 4,000 stars dazzles lifeforms as it flows through a galaxy. And that galaxy is the Milky Way

NASA's Dawn Mission receives nod in memory of Apollo 13 'naut for asteroid belt derring-do

Help us sniff out 50 neutron star collisions so we can calculate universe expansion, cosmoboffins plead

Want to create fake web profile pics? This creepy AI tool makes them on demand. Plus predictive policing, and more

Bloke thrown in the cooler for eight years after 3D-printing gun to dodge weapon ban

Blockchain is bullsh!t, prove me wrong meets 'chain gang fans at tech confab

Boss of venerable sect with millions of devoted followers meets boss of venerable sect with... yeah, you get the idea

Verity Stob

You know the drill: SAP has asked Joe Public to name Munich arena so go forth and be very silly

Twilight of the sundials: Archaic timepiece dying out and millennials are to blame, reckons boffin

Sussex rap fan wants statue of Easy-E from NWA in his hometown because he's a 'legend'

Airbus will shutter its A380 production line from 2021

Emergent Tech

robot_pal

Artificial Intelligence

Want to create fake web profile pics? This creepy AI tool makes them on demand. Plus predictive policing, and more

RoundupDon't panic, we're not all doomed – well, except Nvidia, perhaps

18 Feb 06:02 | 23

Bloke thrown in the cooler for eight years after 3D-printing gun to dodge weapon ban

'I didn’t buy a gun, I built the gun'... Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V, Ctrl+P lands Texas man in the slammer

15 Feb 21:36 | 118

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Blockchain is bullsh!t, prove me wrong meets 'chain gang fans at tech confab

Stop making 'sexy noises' and 'get real', conference told

15 Feb 11:00 | 71

Boss of venerable sect with millions of devoted followers meets boss of venerable sect with... yeah, you get the idea

Microsoft prez Brad Smith talks AI and ethics with the Pope

14 Feb 19:13 | 20

Artificial Intelligence

Roses are red, this is sublime: We fed OpenAI's latest chat bot a classic Reg headline

Analysis'Not safe on database server!' it screamed back as its makers fear it could be abused for dodgy purposes

14 Feb 17:27 | 47

Internet of Things

The Lance Arm-strong of performance-enhanced CPUs: Armv8.1-M arch jams vector math into super-microcontrollers

Neon-style tech pumps Helium balloon in future gadgets

14 Feb 14:00 | 7

Artificial Intelligence

Object-recognition AI – the dumb program's idea of a smart program: How neural nets are really just looking at textures

AnalysisIs it a bird? Is it a plane? Don't ask these models

13 Feb 07:22 | 44

Sci-tech committee: UK.gov's 27-page biometrics strategy is great... as toilet paper

Document skirts around 'the fundamental issues involved'

12 Feb 13:24 | 10

Artificial Intelligence

Prez Trump orders Uncle Sam to step up AI efforts – we all know the White House knows a lot about artificial intelligence

Ah, wait, the other kind of artificial

12 Feb 06:04 | 58

AI Robot viewed from the back against an arty landscape. Pic via SHuttertock

Artificial Intelligence

AI gets carded, China and US agree on robot wars, Amazon claims Rekognition is just fine

RoundupAnd more from the world of machine learning

11 Feb 07:01 | 6

tALL PINE TREES IN FOREST

Artificial Intelligence

What a re-leaf: IBM's AI smarts to tell 'leccy companies when their bushes need trimming

Holster the chainsaw, Big Blue kit designed to know if tree's a crowd for overhead cables

07 Feb 15:15 | 18

Oh my god!

Internet of Things

From Firefox to fired cocks: Look who's out to save you being shafted by insecure Internet of Dingalings – it's Mozilla!

Secret-keeping screw-ups bedevil amorous appliances

06 Feb 20:20 | 17

Internet of Things

Hands up who reuses the same password everywhere, even with your Nest. Keep your hand up if you like being spied on by hackers

OK, you, yes, you: You need to read this the most

06 Feb 19:29 | 22

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Artificial Intelligence

UK transport's 'ludicrous' robocar code may 'put lives at risk'

It's all voluntary, the human overseer could be miles away. What could go wrong?

06 Feb 13:51 | 109

Artificial Intelligence

Fujitsu pitched stalker-y AI that can read your social media posts as solution to Irish border, apparently

Me n tha bois gona smuggle loads 2nite lol #catchmeifucan

06 Feb 11:38 | 48

Artificial Intelligence

It's 2019 so, of course, you can now (kinda) play Pictionary with dead Microsoft cofounder Paul Allen's AI bot

Researchers claim Iconary will slowly teach machines sense

06 Feb 08:03 | 1

Crypto exchange in court: It owes $190m to netizens after founder 'dies without telling anyone vault passwords'

QuadrigaCX granted 30-day legal protection by judge

05 Feb 20:54 | 114

British cops told to scrap 'discriminatory' algorithms in policing

Predictive plod practices bake bias into systems people don't understand, says Liberty

05 Feb 09:50 | 45

Artificial Intelligence

How AI can help halt human sex trafficking – by identifying victims' hotel rooms from pics

Boffins scrape together a dataset to aid in the fight against modern day slavery

05 Feb 08:02 | 25

Internet of Things

Amid polar vortex... Honeywell gets frosty reception after remote smart thermostat tech freezes up for a week

Just use manual control, says biz. Then why did we buy 'smart' controls, ask customers

04 Feb 20:33 | 96

Internet of Things

Good news! Only half of Internet of Crap apps fumble encryption

UpdatedAndroid apps for TP-Link, LIFX, Belkin, and Broadlink kit found with holes, some at least have been repaired

04 Feb 06:04 | 24

MOST READ

Tens of millions more web accounts for sale after more sites hacked, Mac malware spreads via Windows.exe, and more

A pile of platinum or silver bars

Techie in need of a doorstop picks up 'chunk of metal' – only to find out it's rather pricey

A ghost

Data-spewing Spectre chip flaws can't be killed by software alone, Google boffins conclude

Alias Undressed

Solder and Lego required: The Register builds glorious Project Alias gizmo to deafen Alexa

Advertisement

Artificial Intelligence

Oh dear! Amazon's facial recognition is racist and sexist – and there's a JLaw deep fake that will make you want to tear out your eyes

RoundupThe week's other news in AI

03 Feb 14:59 | 43

I'm a crime-fighter, says FamilyTreeDNA boss after being caught giving folks' DNA data to FBI

CommentI would never betray the trust of customers, says man perhaps doing exactly that

01 Feb 23:52 | 115

Internet of Things

Oh cool, the Bluetooth 5.1 specification is out. Nice. control-F master-slave... 2,000 results

Can't let go of that old terminology we see. Plus, it now tells you where a nearby device is located

01 Feb 22:36 | 109

traffic

Artificial Intelligence

Jammy dodgers: Boffin warns of auto autos congesting cities to avoid parking fees

And if traffic is slow, that's just another efficiency saving

01 Feb 15:30 | 111

jenga

Artificial Intelligence

OK, smarty pants AI. You can beat us humans at video games. But how about real-world puzzles like Jenga? Oh, oh no

VidYes, let's distract killer neural networks with boredom-killing toys

31 Jan 23:18 | 14

Another Apple engineer cuffed over alleged self-driving car data theft: FBI swoop on bod as he boards plane to China

Jizhong Chen accused of copying work drive, snapping pics of highly secretive project

31 Jan 21:38 | 29

Image by Daniel Wiedemann http://www.shutterstock.com/gallery-89719p1.html

Artificial Intelligence

Romford Station, smile! You're in London cops' final facial recog 'trial'

Cams trained on entrance today and tomorrow – so tough luck if that's on your commute route

31 Jan 12:42 | 58

Artificial Intelligence

Say what?! An AI system can decode brain signals into speech

So far, it's just sounds you hear – it can't read your mind or anything... yet

30 Jan 10:58 | 30

Internet of Things

Arm wants to wrestle industry into a seat on the UK.gov's £70m hardware security train

We're taking it seriously, says chief architect

28 Jan 10:10 | 29

Artificial Intelligence

Amazon's titchy robots hit the streets, Waymo starts a self-driving car factory...

Roundup...while Apple cuts 200 jobs from its car project, and more from the AI world

27 Jan 12:01 | 31

Artificial Intelligence

Human StarCraft II e-athletes crushed by neural net ace – DeepMind's AlphaStar

AnalysisComputers 10 - 1 Humanity

25 Jan 06:06 | 25

chest_xray

Artificial Intelligence

So this is how that terrifying killer AI will end us... by pushing us down hospital wait lists?

Smartish system has a good stab at prioritizing patients, has problems deciding what's critical, tho

24 Jan 06:57 | 26

OK Google, er, Siri, um, Alexa, can you invalidate these digital assistant patents, please?

Yes. Killing effort to seize voice-controlled pal technology now

24 Jan 00:16 | 18

man gets fingerprinted by gloved person

Oz auditor: Number of times failed government biometric project met a milestone = None

Nope, never. We think buying nothing cost us AU$34m, but nobody's sure

23 Jan 11:42 | 14

A man flying a drone. Pic: Shutterstock

The most annoying British export since Piers Morgan: 'Drones' halt US airport flights

Talk about Jersey Whirl... Flying gizmos disrupt ops this evening

23 Jan 01:04 | 48

You heard the latest Chinese CRISPRs? They are real: Renegade bio-boffin did genetically modify baby twins

Egghead faces criminal rap after Beijing tells of banned experiment

22 Jan 23:41 | 45

EasyJet boss says pre-Chrimbo Gatwick drone chaos cost it £15m

Budget airline cancelled 400 flights, stranding 82,000 customers including a Vulture*

22 Jan 16:01 | 17

NHS England digital boss in hot water over 'puff piece' written about her future employer

Juliet Bauer's article praised GP app biz Livi – but didn't mention she was joining them in April

22 Jan 15:15 | 63

UK.gov plans £2,500 fines for kids flying toy drones within 3 MILES of airports

Families playing in gardens targeted with new powers

22 Jan 12:08 | 121

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