Emergent Tech News and Views for the World • The Register

What's holding up the 5G utopia in Britain? Quite a lot, actually

Chap joins elite support team, solves what no one else can. Is he invited back? Is he f**k

LOL EPA OIG NDA WTF: Eco-watchdog's auditors barred from seeing own agency's cloud security report by gagging order

Super-crook admits he nicked $122m from Facebook, Google by sending staff fake invoices for tech kit

Android clampdown on calls and texts access trashes bunch of apps

Don't get the pitchforks yet, Apple devs: macOS third-party application clampdown probably not as bad as rumored

Microsoft buffs up its open-source halo to fine sheen with PostgreSQL GUI in Azure Data Studio

Oracle's long-running pension plan class action case: C'mon, judge, reject a jury trial – Big Red

Hey, what's Mandarin for 'WTF is going on?' Nokia phones caught spewing device IDs to China, software blunder blamed

Don't have a heart attack but your implanted defibrillator can be hacked over the air (by someone who really wants you dead)

'Sharing of user data is routine, yet far from transparent' is not what you want to hear about medical apps. But 2019 is gonna 2019

Let's spin Facebook's Wheel of Misfortune! Clack-clack-clack... clack... You've won '100s of millions of passwords stored in plaintext'

Atlassian bats eyelashes at the enterprise with AgileCraft acquisition

Hey, DevOps fans. We've got another TLA for you to write down: CDF

From on-prem to serverless, here’s how to transform your software ops

Wanna improve your software ops? Need to cut through container hype? Like saving cash?

UK.gov admits it was slow to intervene in Verify's abject failure to meet user targets

Brekkie TV host Lorraine Kelly wins IR35 ruling against HMRC, adds fuel to freelance techies' ire over tax reforms

Brit Parliament online orifice overwhelmed by Brexit bashers

New Zealand cops cuff alleged jackasses who shared mosque murder video, messages online

We fought through the crowds to try Oculus's new VR goggles so you don't have to bother (and frankly, you shouldn't)

Who pressured WHO to put gaming on a par with drug addiction to help silence political dissent? Oh hi there, China

Stop us if you're getting deja-vu: Uber used spyware to nobble dial-a-ride rival, this time Down Under, allegedly

Mobes 'n' mattresses flinger Xiaomi growing like the clappers – outside China, at least

Geek's Guide

Boeing big cheese repeats pledge of 737 Max software updates following fatal crashes

NASA: We need commercial rockets! SLS: Oh no you don't!

What made a super high-tech home in Victorian England? Hydroelectric witchery, for starters

'Naut trio successfully dock at ISS after Soyuz rocket goes all the way

Our amazing industry-leading AI was too dumb to detect the New Zealand massacre live vid, Facebook shrugs

Autopilot engineer drove off to Chinese rival with our top-secret blueprints in the glovebox, Tesla claims in sueball

New phone who dis? Facial recognition models more farcical despite progress

Our Skyborg (actual US govt program) will be just like IBM Watson, beams Air Force bod

Verity Stob

'It's full of beer!' Miracle fridge reveals itself to pals tuckered out from cleaning flooded cabin

McAfee – the completely sane guy, not the biz – told to fork out $25m over 'torture, murder' of his Belize neighbor

Brexit text-it wrecks it: Vote Leave fined £40k for spamming 200k msgs ahead of EU referendum

Croydon school rolling in toilet roll after Brexit gift deemed unfit for the Queen's Anus Horribilis

Emergent Tech

sad_computer

Artificial Intelligence

Our amazing industry-leading AI was too dumb to detect the New Zealand massacre live vid, Facebook shrugs

Even when it had a copy, it still couldn't stop 300,000 copies from appearing on its site

22 Mar 07:38 | 8

Tesla

Artificial Intelligence

Autopilot engineer drove off to Chinese rival with our top-secret blueprints in the glovebox, Tesla claims in sueball

Figuratively speaking... Source code for cruise-control system allegedly uploaded to iCloud

21 Mar 20:16 | 21

Advertisement

Artificial Intelligence

New phone who dis? Facial recognition models more farcical despite progress

GTCAI doesn't always work as well as you'd expect in real life

21 Mar 10:37 | 17

Our Skyborg (actual US govt program) will be just like IBM Watson, beams Air Force bod

Rise of the MachinesNo joke, that's what they've genuinely named a 'fighter-like' military drone project

20 Mar 23:36 | 19

Artificial Intelligence

This ain't AI, it's a goddamn arms race – but US shouldn't get too heated, Congressman warns

GTCTrump's exec order 'doesn't go nearly far enough', though

20 Mar 12:45 | 15

Artificial Intelligence

Could OpenAI's 'too dangerous to release' language model be used to mimic you online? Yes, says this chap: I built a bot to prove it

Facebook convos used to train chat dopey doppelganger

20 Mar 07:57 | 27

Artificial Intelligence

Want to cruise your auto auto around but don't fancy killing people? Nvidia has an answer

GTCTraining wheels for… wheels

19 Mar 23:23 | 15

Internet of Things

Sign of the times: Mirai botnet strain fine-tunes itself to infect digital signage, projectors

Notorious code puts on suit and tie, goes after business kit

19 Mar 08:02 | 13

Artificial Intelligence

First, Google touts $150 AI dev kit. Now, Nvidia's peddling a $99 Nano for GPU ML tinkerers. Do we hear $50? $50?

GTCIt only took three fscking hours of keynote to announce it – where's the GPU optimization for that?

19 Mar 06:05 | 22

locked out

Internet of Things

We don't want to be Latch key-less kids: NYC tenants sue landlords for bunging IoT 'smart' lock on their front door

UpdatedResidents claim net-connected, app-controlled system is harassment, surveillance

18 Mar 22:18 | 43

facial_recognition

Artificial Intelligence

Brouhaha over IBM using Flickr faces for AI training, big trouble in not-so-little China for Microsoft, and more

RoundupPlus: It's time to take AI to school

18 Mar 07:38 | 13

Man recognized by facial recognition system

Artificial Intelligence

Let's face it. We need to face up to facing off with face-recog tech, say US senators: Bipartisan AI privacy law proposed

'We need guardrails to ensure this technology is implemented responsibly'

15 Mar 21:43 | 15

Internet of things in the cloud

Internet of Things

Reg webcast: The Internet of Things can only get better

PromoMake smarter decisions about IoT

Advertisement

If you're worried that quantum computers will crack your crypto, don't be – at least, not for a decade or so. Here's why

Special reportQuantum solace: Encryption to die another day

14 Mar 09:18 | 55

Artificial Intelligence

Let's see. Translation, facial recognition, running people over... What else can AI do? Ah yes, predict planet mass

It's quicker and easier than solving maths equations at least

14 Mar 06:07 | 4

Internet of Things

Don't be too shocked, but it looks as though these politicians have actually got their act together on IoT security

AnalysisActual bipartisan legislation in the US, with industry backing, reemerges

13 Mar 22:20 | 32

Artificial Intelligence

Nonprofit OpenAI looks at the bill to craft a Holy Grail AGI, gulps, spawns commercial arm to bag investors' mega-bucks

AnalysisCapital idea, old boy... yes, plenty of capital

13 Mar 09:10 | 7

Strewth! Apoplectic Aussies threaten to blast noisy Google delivery drones out of the sky

VideoBy coincidence Chocolate Factory pulls Canberra drone trial

11 Mar 21:24 | 62

Artificial Intelligence

Remember the OpenAI text spewer that was too dangerous to release? Fear not, boffins have built a BS detector for it

BS as in 'behavior sequenced', or 'bland speech'...

11 Mar 07:04 | 43

Artificial Intelligence

Racist self-driving car scare debunked, inside AI black boxes, Google helps folks go with the TensorFlow...

Roundup...and AI worker quits over killer robot plans

10 Mar 14:32 | 28

Artificial Intelligence

You can't spell 'financial' without 'a' and 'i' – and you can't build next-gen financial data systems without AI, either...

Sponsored...As NetApp is all too happy to explain

MOST READ

prison

Vengeful sacked IT bod destroyed ex-employer's AWS cloud accounts. Now he'll spent rest of 2019 in the clink

Cable confusion, image via Shutterstock

Dead LAN's hand: IT staff 'locked out' of data center's core switch after the only bloke who could log into it dies

2019 iPad Air

Apple's revamped iPad beams a workhorse in from Planet Ludicrous

Sad Android

Android clampdown on calls and texts access trashes bunch of apps

Advertisement

While this CEO may be stiff, his customers are rather stuffed: Quadriga wallets finally cracked open – nothing inside

This is the crypto-exchange that said only dead boss could unlock $137m in wallets

07 Mar 22:15 | 88

Artificial Intelligence

Google finally touts $150 pint-sized Linux dev board with Edge TPU AI math copro brains

Plus: Introverts' must-have Duplex – that restaurant robo-caller – served up to Pixels

07 Mar 05:35 | 21

Artificial Intelligence

Nice 'AI solution' you've bought yourself there. Not deploying it direct to users, right? Here's why maybe you shouldn't

RSATop tip: Ask your vendor what it plans to do about adversarial examples

06 Mar 23:35 | 18

uber_self_driving_crash

Artificial Intelligence

Uber won't face criminal charges after its robo-car killed woman crossing street

Prosecutors mull complaint against the 'safety' driver, tho

06 Mar 20:51 | 106

drone_swarm

Artificial Intelligence

We sent a Reg vulture to RSA to learn about the future of AI and security. And it's no use. It's bots all the way down

RSAWe'd call this blue-sky thinking but the sky is thick with swarms of drones

06 Mar 08:45 | 19

Bender the robot, Futurama

Artificial Intelligence

Don't rage against the machine – wage against the master, says McAfee amid AI havoc fear hype

RSA'Technology doesn't comprehend morality: An algorithm can protect data from theft or hold it for ransom'

05 Mar 22:24 | 6

teenagers drinking

Artificial Intelligence

Two in five 'AI startups' essentially have no AI, mega-survey of nearly 3,000 upstarts finds

One pint of beer please, Mr Barman. I am 18 today, honest!

05 Mar 15:57 | 36

Internet of Things

Smart home owner? Don't make your crib easy pickings for the smart home pwner

Consumer IoT PITA to secure but not impossible, report warns

05 Mar 13:15 | 21

Artificial Intelligence

The infamous AI gaydar study was repeated – and, no, code can't tell if you're straight or not just from your face

What are these pesky neural networks really looking at?

05 Mar 08:17 | 42

Artificial Intelligence

Who likes role-playing? OK, OpenAI puts on its robe and wizard hat... Game bot code released, plus Apple robo-car project blow, and more

RoundupQuick catch-up on machine-learning news

05 Mar 05:33 | 4

UK's beloved RNGesus machine ERNIE goes quantum in 5th iteration

El Reg takes a trip to TNMoC to swot up on the tech history of Premium Bonds

01 Mar 12:15 | 54

woman kisses her cellphone/mobile phone

Foldables herald the beginning of the end of the smartphone fetish

MWC AnalysisUn-gadgeting the gadget

28 Feb 10:10 | 107

kids_screen

Artificial Intelligence

How AI could help docs spot mums who hit the sauce too much while creating their version 1.1

Fetal alcohol spectrum disorder diagnosed by code, eventually, maybe, if accuracy improves

28 Feb 06:04 | 4

Terminator

Internet of Things

Don't mean to alarm you, but Boeing has built an unmanned fighter jet called 'Loyal Wingman'

RoTMUnarmed, but let's be real – it's only a matter of time, isn't it?

27 Feb 14:59 | 123

facial recog cameras

Cops told live facial recog needs oversight, rigorous trial design, protections against bias

How about only using face-scan tech if it, er, actually works, is the only option, eh?

27 Feb 12:27 | 25

Artificial Intelligence

Oooooklahoma, where the AI comes predictin' down the plain: Neural net spins up wind turbine power estimates

Grids may be able to better juggle solar electricity supplies using machine-learning code

27 Feb 07:18 | 3

Microsoft 'welcomes dialog' over HoloLens use by the military, but doesn't have to listen

It looks like you want to increase your lethality. Do you want some help with that?

26 Feb 12:16 | 40

Artificial Intelligence

This image-recognition neural net can be trained from 1.2 million pictures in the time it takes to make a cup o' tea

Just 90 seconds, it's claimed, provided a) you have 512 Nvidia V100 GPUs and b) er, no need for accuracy

26 Feb 03:44 | 31

Internet of Things

Azure IoT heads spacewards to maintain connectivity at the edge, courtesy of Inmarsat

Microsoft: 20 billion connected devices by 2020. Voda, Arm: How about 1 trillion by 2035?

25 Feb 20:03 | 5

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