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Perfect timing for a two-bank TITSUP: Totally Inexcusable They've Stuffed Up Payday

Updated It's Friday, it's payday, and UK online banking has once again come under fire, though if you're with TSB or HSBC you'll already know this. Reports of yet another British banking meltdown have been rolling in this morning. Of course the TSB app isn’t working on PAYDAY of all days fkn hell just let me see how much money I can …
Rebecca Hill, 28 Sep 2018
Electric spark jump between silver wire isolated

Attempt to clean up tech area has shocking effect on kit

On Call Hello, Friday, El Reg’s old friend. We’ve come to talk with you again… because the vision that has softly crept in must be the latest instalment of On-Call. This week, our reader’s tale of tech support conundrums solved is a real shocker – so without further ado, let's meet “Gerald”. He takes us back a couple of decades to …
Rebecca Hill, 28 Sep 2018

Top Euro court gives Infineon the benefit of the doubt, wags finger at Philips over pricing

It is possible that Infineon was not as deeply involved in a price-fixing cartel as previously assumed, the European Court of Justice has ruled. But Philips can suck it. Infineon appealed its €83m ($97m, £74m) fine, claiming that a lower court had not given it a fair hearing because it only investigated five out of 11 …
Kieren McCarthy, 28 Sep 2018
Cut cable

Australia, US and Japan want Huawei local submarine cable project

Australia is once again trying to get Huawei removed from a submarine cable contract in the Asia-Pacific. The cable in question is planned to link Papua New Guinea communities of Port Moresby, Alotau, Popondetta, Lae and Madang. At Port Moresby, it would connect to the Coral Sea Cable System which at the end of 2019 will land …
Business suited man with clipboard

Want to vent about how data-centre plans aren't being done right?

Promo In this rapidly changing, data-centric world, relentlessly driven by new technologies and applications, IT decision makers are increasingly having to anticipate developments and implement solutions that harness the power of data to drive productivity. What actions are you planning to take over the next three years to modernise …
David Gordon, 27 Sep 2018
Trying to catch money in a net

Big fish still dominate as hyper-converged systems come into the mainstream

Nutanix, Dell and VMware are walking away with the hyper-converged infrastructure market as converged systems and reference architecture setups continue to suffer from shrinkage. IDC’s Worldwide Quarterly Converged Systems Tracker for the second quarter of the year show that the total converged systems market grew 9.9 per cent …
Chris Mellor, 27 Sep 2018
Characters from Phantom Menace

US JEDI military cloud network is so high-tech, bidders will have to submit their proposals by hand, on DVD

The Pentagon's JEDI system, a cutting-edge cloud platform designed to take the US Department of Defense well into the next decade of technology, will require companies to utilize a delivery system straight out of the era of dial-up modems and pagers. An updated request for proposals (RFP) guideline issued this week demands …
Shaun Nichols, 27 Sep 2018

Hitachi Vantara brain dump: IoT, servers, containers and self-regulating data centres

Hitachi's data subsidiary Vantara has dumped a load of announcements on attendees of its NEXT 2018 user conference in San Diego. Servers and stuff Its first all-NVMe hyperconverged system is the V124N, a development of the all-flash V123F announced in June. Like that model, the new kit is a 1U dual-socket server, but where the …
Chris Mellor, 26 Sep 2018
Money falling from the sky

Sick of bandwidth gouging? Cloudflare, Google, Microsoft, IBM have some good news

Updated The Cloudflare content delivery network (CDN) has teamed up with Microsoft, Google, IBM Cloud, and others to form the Bandwidth Alliance, a group of companies committed to trimming fees for data passing through the CDN. The initiative follows from Cloudflare's experience with Google's CDN Interconnect program, which has led to …
Thomas Claburn, 26 Sep 2018
bart simpson

Eat my shorts, watchdog tells every city mayor in the US – FCC approves $2bn 5G telco windfall

If you were to pick a moment in which America's telecoms regulator disappeared down the rabbit hole at its monthly meeting, it would probably be when the chairman of the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) Ajit Pai provided a full "up is down" statement. "I salute Commissioner Carr for his leadership in developing this …
Kieren McCarthy, 26 Sep 2018
Cat peeks outside cardboard box. Photo by shuttertsock

Microsoft wants to cart your data away in a box and punt it onto Azure

Ignite Microsoft has released the Azure Data Box, another hardware appliance for booting business data into the cloud. The box, which was previewed around a year ago, is now available in a multitude of flavours depending on how many bits and bytes you want to store on other people's computers – that is, Microsoft Azure cloud. The …
Gareth Corfield, 26 Sep 2018

Amazon Alexa outage: Voice-activated devices are down in UK and beyond

Amazon Alexa devices stopped working in the UK and reportedly in parts of continental Europe this morning, with some users still complaining of intermittent outages at the time of writing. The digital blackout began at around 0800 UK time and though it appeared to be recovering by 09.30, some folk – including Reg staffers – …
Gareth Corfield, 26 Sep 2018

Salesforce dogged by protests, leaked emails, and guerrilla blimps on first day of Dreamforce

It’s that time of year again: CRM loyalists flood San Francisco for the annual Dreamforce conference hosted by Salesforce – but day one hasn’t exactly gone to plan. For a start, on Tuesday, protestors wheeled a huge wooden cage down the street outside the busy conference center to rally against Salesforce signing a multi- …
Iain Thomson, 26 Sep 2018

Internet be nimble, internet be QUIC, Cloudflare shows off new networking shtick

CloudFlare has puts its weight behind a new internet protocol that should make mobile browsing faster and more secure. The content delivery network has launched a new test site for Quick UDP Internet Connections (QUIC), complete with a variety of blog posts outlining the protocol's promise in both general and technical terms …
Kieren McCarthy, 25 Sep 2018

XtremIO nixes noisy neighbours, adds cloud-based array analytics

XtremIO's X2 v6.2 release has filled the Nimble and SolidFire-shaped holes in its software – even though it has taken several years to do so. NetApp-acquired SolidFire majored in "noisy neighbour" control – when apps or virtual machines hog resources and cause performance issues for others on the network – while HPE-snaffled …
Chris Mellor, 25 Sep 2018
Downtime, outage

Secret IBM script could have prevented 11-hour US tax day outage

The April 2018 US tax day outage was due to a faulty IBM disk array and could have been avoided twice – first with a more up-to-date microcode bundle, and second with a secret IBM script. Online tax filing was held up for 11 hours on the last filing day of the 2018 tax year, April 17, and the IRS had to extend the filing …
Chris Mellor, 25 Sep 2018
Cloud storage

Mac users get to join the OneDrive Files On-Demand festivities

A year after Microsoft reintroduced placeholders for Windows users of OneDrive in the form of "Files On-Demand", Mac users of the cloudy file service are getting the same love. Placeholders were briefly a thing in the Windows 7 and 8.1 worlds and allowed a OneDrive user to view the contents of their cloud file store without …
Richard Speed, 25 Sep 2018
A tortoise catches an orange frisbee. Photo by Shutterstock

Turns out download speed isn't everything when streaming video on your smartphone

The Czech Republic and Hungary top the world for mobile video performance – even though they don't have the fastest networks. While politicos and telco marketing departments are obsessed with the headline figure of broadband speeds, the download rate doesn't give you the complete picture of network performance – particularly …
Andrew Orlowski, 25 Sep 2018
Cisco logo on wall

Ooof! Cisco Webex has been down for 7 hours – and counting

Updated Cisco Webex is currently suffering a seven-hour outage and counting, with biz bods alternately raging at the failure but secretly being glad they don’t have to suffer the indignities of teleconferencing. The "major outage" began at 0122 GMT, according to Cisco’s status page. At the time of writing every single service …
Gareth Corfield, 25 Sep 2018
Inside of old dusty computer parts

That scary old system with 'do not touch' on it? Your boss very much wants you to touch it. Now what do you do?

Analysis Legacy systems have been sitting in server rooms for decades, gradually growing more complex in design, more expensive to operate, less understandable to administrators, and more indispensable to their owners. If some hero tries to poke around inside them, their face turns white when they realize the machines are running all …
Danny Bradbury, 25 Sep 2018
Shutterstock - Giant bug destroys ciy

Cisco sneaks hardcoded secret root backdoor into vid surveillance kit

If you run Cisco's video surveillance kit, hop over to Switchzilla's support site and download the latest version of its management software. Late last week, the networking giant admitted that its Cisco Video Surveillance Manager Appliance has an undocumented root account with static hard-coded credentials. Reading between …
Shantanu Narayen, CEO of Adobe, Satya Nadella, CEO of Microsoft, Bill McDermott, CEO of SAP,

Microsoft has a digital coworker it wants in your business: Cortana

Ignite At its Ignite conference in the US on Monday, Microsoft pitched Cortana as a corporate worker, as the software and cloud biz pushes companies to interact with technology via voice. Javier Soltero, the Microsoft corporate vice president who oversees Cortana, suggested that voice interaction has reached the same level of …
Thomas Claburn, 25 Sep 2018

Amid Trump-China tariff tiff, Cisco kit prices to resellers soar up to 25%

Exclusive In September, Cisco CEO Chuck Robbins warned that America's trade war with China would drive up price tags on technology. Now, The Register has learned those fears have seemingly manifested: Switchzilla has unexpectedly increased its prices. Robbins' warning came in an interview last month in which he said: “The tariffs that …
Cloud desktop

Still holding out on Windows 10? Microsoft tempts upgrade with virtual desktop to Azure

Ignite With Windows Virtual Desktop, Microsoft is offering corporate Window 7 users yet another migration path to Windows 10; this time via Azure. Microsoft 365 is about to gain what Redmond is modestly calling “the best virtualized Windows and Office experience delivered on Azure.” Virtualization slingers Citrix and VMware might beg …
Richard Speed, 24 Sep 2018
angry lego minifig man turns on anxious lego minifig man

Barclays and RBS on naughty step: Banks told to explain service meltdown to UK politicos

The influential Treasury Committee has demanded that banking execs at RBS Group and Barclays must explain why customers were again unable to access online services at the tail end of last week. On Thursday, 20 September, Barclays' systems were offline for hours, while the Royal Bank of Scotland, NatWest and Ulster Bank went …
Rebecca Hill, 24 Sep 2018
20 won't Airwave bye for another 3 years, plans to phase in ESN services

The Home Office has overhauled its plans to replace the UK's emergency services radio infrastructure with a 4G network, extending the lifespan of the existing network by three years and offering users early access to some services. Britain mulls 'complete shutdown' of 4G net for emergency services READ MORE The intent was to …
Rebecca Hill, 24 Sep 2018
Ethernet cable rises up like a snake (artist's impression). Image via shutterstock

Juniper's Contrail gets edgy, Cloudflare joins BGP club, and an $Important announcement

Juniper Networks this week pulled the covers off the latest in its Contrail range, a carrier edge product called Contrail Edge Cloud. The Gin Palace said the software targets applications like base stations, hub sites, and switching sites. Integration with Red Hat's OpenStack IaaS platform allows Contrail Edge Cloud to run …

US cities react in fury to FCC's $2bn break for 5G telcos: We'll be picking up the tab, say officials

A plan to impose a federal price cap and one-size-fits-all model for the rollout of next-generation mobile networks has been met with fury by US cities. New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Philadelphia, Chicago, Las Vegas, San Diego, Seattle and dozens of other cities have responded in anger to a public comment period on two …
Kieren McCarthy, 22 Sep 2018

HPE UK shunts cloud biz into London hipster shack amid rebrand

Hewlett Packard Enterprise UK is grouping its disparate cloud businesses, scrapping the brands of services outfits it has bought and moving the whole thing to a hipster village in East London. The hardware giant had seemingly failed to get with the cloud programme: it ditched the public cloud service offered to customers some …
Paul Kunert, 21 Sep 2018

Adobe forks out $4.75bn for Marketo in massive marketing mashup move

Adobe has forked out $4.75bn for cloudy software-as-a-service biz Marketo, in one of the largest marketing tech buys to date. The transaction, which was first mooted last week, was confirmed today and puts Adobe in a position to compete for enterprise customers in the marketing automation playing field. The near-$5bn price …
Rebecca Hill, 21 Sep 2018
ball chain

In a race to 5G, Trump has stuck a ball-and-chain on America's leg

Comment President Donald Trump's trade war with China may come with a serious cost to America's next-generation cellular networks, a federal regulator has warned. FCC Commissioner Jessica Rosenworcel told a conference audience on Thursday that part of the new tariffs announced by the White House against China will include 25 per cent …
Kieren McCarthy, 20 Sep 2018

ServiceNow confirms relational-ship with MariaDB: We're protecting our toolchain

Platform-as-a-service pusher ServiceNow is backing MySQL upstart MariaDB, injecting cash into its coffers and staffers onto its board, partly to protect its own investment as a customer of the database biz. The Finnish database company, founded by MySQL creator Monty Widenius in 2009, has pulled in some $98.2m in funding to …
Rebecca Hill, 20 Sep 2018
Michael Dell

Dell in-houses production, dumps Celestica in Ireland

Exclusive Dell EMC is terminating the contract it had with electronics manufacturer Celestica to take production in-house at its Cork-based facility in Ireland, with hundreds of jobs said to be at risk. According to sources, Celestica was providing various services for Dell including server builds and labelling hard drives from its …
Paul Kunert, 20 Sep 2018

Big Cable tells US government: Now's not the time to talk about internet speeds – just give us the money

Big cable companies have told the federal government that "now's not the time" to talk about US internet speeds; despite a new program that will pay them billions of dollars to expand broadband access across the country, and a new proposal that put even more money in their pockets. Yes, it is the annual farce that is the …
Kieren McCarthy, 19 Sep 2018

FCC's 5G masterstroke little more than big biz cash giveaway – expert

The latest effort by the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) to expand 5G networks across the United States is little more than a cash giveaway to large telcos and will grow, rather than close, the digital divide. That's the opinion of telco expert, author of the United States' National Broadband Plan, and a man credited …
Kieren McCarthy, 19 Sep 2018
Woman kicks off shoes, gets bottle of wine, collapses onto couch

Effortful, tiresome, laborious: Couchbase says latest data platform release can sack off ETL

NoSQL database biz Couchbase has promised administrators its latest release will allow them to ditch the laborious extract, transform and load (ETL) process, and analyse info directly from the database. Couchbase Server 6.0, announced today at the firm's Connect conference and due for general availability in Q4 of 2018, is the …
Rebecca Hill, 19 Sep 2018

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