Articles about toilet

Toilet with smiling loo paper

Beijing deploys facial scanners to counter public toilet abuse

Beijing authorities are forcing desperate defecators to submit to a facial scan before receiving an allotment of toilet paper, sparking a debate over privacy, crowd control and the toxic qualities of Chinese loo roll. The city's crapper commissars have installed a phalanx of automated loo roll dispensers at Beijing’s biggest …
Clodagh Doyle, 20 Mar 2017
Toilet with smiling loo paper

Japan's terrifying techno-toilets will be made foreigner friendly, vow makers

Japan’s electronic toilet-makers have vowed to clean up the baffling symbols on their techno-khazis so anyone can crimp one off in the Land of the Rising Sun “with peace of mind”. Kitamura Yen of the Japan Rest Room Industry Association said, in a statement on that august organisation’s website, that the industry had decided …
Gareth Corfield, 18 Jan 2017
Reg correspondent snaps pic of lavatory in Japan. Photo by Gareth Corfield

Reg man 0: Japanese electronic toilet 1

RotM Dear reader, I am in a state of shock and horror. That’s right - I have attempted to use a Japanese electric toilet in the manner for which it was designed. I fear my rear may never recover. Your correspondent is currently in Tokyo for Huawei’s Mobile Broadband Forum 2016 and is staying in an excellent, if, for the purposes of …
Gareth Corfield, 23 Nov 2016

Hurrah! Urinals will soon be splash-free

Engineers have developed a new technique that could pave the way for splash-free urinals in the future. When drops of liquid hit a hard surface at a high-speed, the impact distorts the liquid’s structure and it bounces back. The rebound motion of liquid can sometimes be unpleasant or even dangerous, and can certainly result in …
Katyanna Quach, 14 Nov 2016
Toilet with smiling loo paper

Dublin shopkeeper catches forecourt fouler with his pants down

An after midnight muckspreader who has been terrorising a Dublin* neighbourhood has been caught in the act by the very shopkeeper whose forecourt he’d been befouling. Alan Buckley, proprietor of Clever Buys in Finglas, plonked a toilet and a pallet of loo roll on the forecourt of his shop after a number of visits from the …
Clodagh Doyle, 30 Sep 2016
Redback spider. Photo by shutterstock

Redback sinks fangs into Aussie's todger AGAIN... second time in five months

An Aussie builder has endured the agony of being bitten on the todger by a redback spider for the second time in five months*. The 21-year-old who asked not to be fully named, for obvious reasons, said that lightning had indeed struck twice in “pretty much the same spot” when used a portable loo on a building site in Sydney …
Paul Kunert, 28 Sep 2016
Man holds white flag while sitting alongside empty beer bottles next to a toilet bowl. Pic by Shutterstock

Shopkeeper installs forecourt khazi to counter mystery Dublin dung dumper

A desperate Dublin shopkeeper has placed a toilet and a pile of his very competitvely priced bog roll on the pavement outside his shop after a series of visits from a loose boweled night owl. Alan Buckley was forced to install the curb-side crapper outside his Clever Buys outlet in Finglas, because “someone keeps coming up and …
Clodagh Doyle, 23 Sep 2016
Venomous snake

Thai bloke battles jumbo python in toilet todger thriller

A Thai chap's "morning routine of a shower and protracted bowel movement" was rudely interrupted earlier this week when a 4-metre python clamped its laughing gear round his todger as he squatted over the throne. According to an eye-watering report by Khaosod English - (some pics quite possibly NSFW) - Atthaporn Boonmakchuay of …
Lester Haines, 25 May 2016
Toilet

Viglen staff mark CEO Tkachuk's passing with a royal tribute

Now that Viglen boss Bordan Tkachuk has split, some of his underlings have marked his passing with some passings and markings of their own at the previously off-limits C-suite shower block. Tkachuk cleared his desk before Christmas, two years after Viglen was acquired by XMA – itself owned by Westcoast Holdings – as his earn- …
Paul Kunert, 19 Jan 2016
Toilet

All hail Ikabai-Sital! Destroyer of worlds and mender of toilets

Something for the Weekend, Sir? My toilet is working again. I’m sure regular readers are overjoyed to learn this, and I extend a particularly warm welcome from me and my toilet to those reading this Saturday morning’s column while eating breakfast. That first celebratory slash of relief following three consecutive weeks of toilet withdrawal symptoms was …

Big goolies-grabbing black snake nips unlucky bloke's trouser snake

Users of a Ghanean public toilet fled the premises in panic after a "big black snake" sank its fangs into an unfortunate 34-year-old's todger. Kwabena Nkrumah was going about his business in Faaman, some 250km northwest of the capital Accra, when he "suddenly felt a sharp pain at the tip of his manhood", according to GhanaWeb …
Lester Haines, 13 Dec 2013
The Register breaking news

Peeping Tom suspects cuffed after 'falling through women's toilet ceiling'

Two suspected peeping Toms earned themselves a cuffing last weekend after apparently crashing through the ceiling of the women's toilet in a Georgia cinema, having failed to correctly assess the structure's load-bearing capacity. According to cops, Eduard Petrovich Kovynev, 26, and Eduard Alexander Kovynev, 27, allegedly …
Lester Haines, 3 May 2013
The Register breaking news

London gets huge Defecator Enthroned statue for World Toilet Week

A giant squatting man has been erected outside the offices of the London mayor in a bid to raise "awareness" of the toilet. The 5-metre high squatting figure next to London's Tower Bridge turns its head to look at passersby and on its face - comprising four large screens - the bending statue hosts photos of members of the …
Anna Leach, 20 Nov 2012

Japanese toilet can save penalty kicks

Just when you thought Japan had moved on from its stereotyped image as a nation that creates bizarre, useless technology, it comes up with the Super Great Toilet Keeper (SGTK) – a bespoke toilet designed to save penalties. The football-mad throne is a bizarre, one-off collaborative project between Japan’s leading toilet-maker …
Phil Muncaster, 30 Oct 2012
Sega Toylet

Sega squirts urinal game console onto shop shelves

Sega's videogame business hit a 'new flow' this week when the firm pushed its urinal games terminal, the Toylet, out into retail in Japan. That means that those who took a shine to Sega's Toylets after using them in various bathrooms across the country, now have the opportunity to put them in their own homes, the company …
Caleb Cox, 1 May 2012
The Register breaking news

US nuclear aircraft carrier George Bush crippled by toilet outages

The US Navy's newest and mightiest nuclear aircraft carrier, the USS George H W Bush*, has been plagued by continual failures in its lavatories, according to reports. Sailors have been forced into increasingly desperate measures to relieve themselves. Nov 11, 2011: USS George H.W. Bush (CVN 77) transits the Arabian Gulf in …
Lewis Page, 17 Nov 2011
Toto Toilet Bike Neo

Bog builder pushes out poo-powered motorbike

Japan's leading toilet manufacturer has really pushed the float out with its promotional activities, creating a poo-powered motorcycle with its own built-in lav-look seat. The Toilet Bike Neo runs on biofuels such as compressed livestock waste and household wastewater, so while the design looks like a portaloo on wheels, it …
Caleb Cox, 17 Oct 2011
channel

Rogue toilet takes out Norfolk server

The IT support chaps and chapesses among you doubtless have a few entertaining war stories regarding preposterous causes of system outages, and we'd like to offer you this fine Friday the tale of the cantankerous crapper and the company server. Reader Stuart Drabble wrote to explain that in his almost 15 years of IT support, …
Lester Haines, 23 Sep 2011

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