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Cu in Hell: Thousands internetless after copper thieves pinch 500m of cable in Cambridgeshire

You're praying your biz won't be preyed upon? Have you heard of our lord and savior NVMe?

New York City sues T-Mobile US over 'abusive sales tactics'

What goes up must come down, and that applies to the server market in Q2 too

Everyone's a winner as Microsoft turns on new Windows 10 19H2 toys for all Slow Ring testers

Opal Fruits, Princess Diana and... PowerToys? Microsoft is dragging Windows 10 back to '95

Another sign of the End Times: Free software guru Richard Stallman speaks at Microsoft HQ

Loss-making $15bn hipster chat biz Slack suddenly less appetising to investors as it predicts deeper losses

Exim marks the spot… of remote code execution: Patch due out today for 'give me root' flaw in mail server

Massachusetts city tells ransomware scumbags to RYUK off, our IT staff will handle this easily

Too bad, so sad, exploit devs: Google patches possibly several million dollars' worth of security flaws in Android

Today's data whoopsie is brought to you by CircleCI: Source safe, but look out for phishers

Freebie tier coming to issue-tracking Jira, but you'll have to cough up to unlock the good stuff

Think you’ve blown your chance to save with serverless? Not so FaaSt...

IT biz Web Yoga adopts contrition pose, admits it turned blind eye to college's H-1B visa fraud

Keynotes by serverless pioneers, top real-world advice from experts, all-day workshops... this conference is perfect for you, Register readers

Cash carousel spun between Filetek and Autonomy, Lynch employee tells court

You know what the NHS really needs? Influencers, right guys? #blessed

Can you download it to me – in an envelope with a stamp?

Auditors bemoan time it takes for privatised RAF pilot training to produce combat-ready aviators

There's no getting Huawei from 5G – Chinese giant joins Qualcomm, Samsung in bunging high-speed comms in mobe brains

HP Inc waves bye to EMEA president with 'immediate effect'

OK, let's try that again: Vulture rakes a talon on Samsung's fresh attempt at the Galaxy Fold 5G

Acer and Asus unveil some of the world's heaviest laptops ... and some of its lightest

Geek's Guide

Finally! A solution to 42 – the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything

Valorous Vikram lunar lander – or Star Wreck: Enterprise? India's Moon craft goes all silent running during descent

Look, we know it feels like everything's going off the rails right now, but think positive: The proton has a new radius

Big bang theory: Was mystery explosion over New York caused by a meteor? Dunno. By a military jet? Maybe...

Be still, our drinking hearts: Help Reg name whisky beast conjured by Swedish distillers and AI blendbot

'I radically update my course module almost every year to keep up with the rate of change'

The time a Commodore CDTV disc proved its worth as something other than a coaster

Oops, wait, yeah, we did hand over photos for King's Cross facial-recog CCTV, cops admit

Verity Stob

Outlook turned eBay into DD-Bay: Topless busty babe mysteriously fronts souk's emails

Royal Navy seeks missile-moving robots for dockyard drudgery

In Hemel Hempstead, cycling is as bad as taking a leak in the middle of the street

Now it's Terrance Dicks' turn to regenerate: Golden-age Doctor Who mainstay dies aged 84

Lewis Page

Contact

Former editor of the Register, having previously been Defence/Killer-robot correspondent. Formerly an analyst and journalist on military matters: author of the book Lions, Donkeys and Dinosaurs - Waste and Blundering in the Military. Served 11 years as a Royal Navy officer: highlights included commando training, mine clearance diving, live EOD (bomb disposal) operations and discovering genuine WMDs in 2003 (in Wales).

BORN to HURL: Man's shoulders are head and shoulders above apes, gorillas, chimps etc

Top-level bone fondlers delving back into humanity's remote past say that the key adaptation which lifted us from the ruck of other primates was a change to the shoulder permitting us - among other things - to play cricket by hurling balls and wielding bats. "These changes in the shoulder, which were probably initially driven …

09 Sep 2015 | 68

Tree hugger? Your wooden harem is much bigger than thought

Tree-lovers rejoice! It turns out there are really hugely more trees on planet Earth than anyone had thought. In fact, a new study just published says that there are no fewer than three trillion huggable woody trunks alive on the planet today – roughly seven and a half times as many as the previous best guess of just 400 …

02 Sep 2015 | 42

Self-driving cars? Boring. We want self driving, lizard dodging golf carts

Many jaded readers of the Register, noting on the interwebs the endless stream of stories about self-driving cars - being worked upon by such companies as Google - may have wondered whether in fact anyone at all is actually working on the real, genuine problems confronting the human race. Well wonder no more, my jaundiced …

02 Sep 2015 | 22

Pale backside of lovely Luna flits past in imagery from 1 million miles out

A million miles out in deep space far beyond the Moon's orbit, closer in to the Sun, lies the L-1 Lagrange point. Here sits the DSCOVR spacecraft with its EPIC instrument pointed back at Earth. NASA has just released some EPIC images, showing the moon zipping past in front of Earth. Here they are: Hey, I can see your moon …

06 Aug 2015 | 43

How much of one year's Californian energy use would wipe out the drought?

OpinionThat California drought - it's terrible, isn't it? But there's nothing to be done. If it doesn't rain for a few years, and doesn't snow up in the mountains, Californians must just yield to Mother Nature and stop watering their lawns, stop washing their cars, maybe even stop growing those delicious but thirsty almonds. Or ... …

31 Jul 2015 | 111

Small number of computer-aided rifles could be hacked in contrived scenario

The internet is reeling today at the "news" that a rare make of computer-aided gunsight can under certain circumstances be hacked into, permitting a hacker to interfere with a suitably-equipped rifle's aim. The gunsight in question is the much-hyped but seldom purchased TrackingPoint kit, a system with a Linux machine at its …

30 Jul 2015 | 43

Hawking, Musk, Woz (and others): Robots will kill us all

OpinionNotables of the technology world including physicist Stephen Hawking, biz baron Elon Musk and techno-hippy Steve Wozniak have teamed up to warn us all about the menace of killer robots. In an open letter and petition, the distinguished trio and their co-signatories warn: Autonomous weapons select and engage targets without …

27 Jul 2015 | 44

New study into lack of women in Tech: It's not the men's fault

A new study into causes of the scarcity of women in technical and scientific fields says that it is not discrimination by men in the field keeping the ladies away. Nor is it a repugnance felt by women for possibly dishevelled or unhygienic male nerds. No, the reason that young women don't train in Science, Technology, …

27 Jul 2015 | 121

Slippery, slimy find: LEGGY, WRIGGLY fossil shows SNAKES weren't legless. Or ARMLESS

A strange fossilised snake possessing four limbs which it could use for walking or gripping things has upset the applecart in the world of palaeo-snake boffinry. The fossil in question had actually been excavated some time ago in Brazil, which had been part of the ur-continent Gondwana at the time the leggy snake was alive, …

24 Jul 2015 | 39

SPLAT! STAR THWACKED, GUTS flung into space at 15 per cent of LIGHTSPEED

In perhaps the most violent punch that has ever been witnessed by humanity, a speeding pulsar has smashed right through a disk of matter bulging from the middle of a hefty star and blown a massive chunk of it guts into interstellar space at a significant fraction of light speed. That's according to top space boffins peering …

24 Jul 2015 | 20

Galactic BIRTH: ALMA peers 13 billion years into Dawn of Time Itself

Far back - quite literally into the earliest mists of time, when cold hydrogen fog cloaked the birth pangs of the early universe - the galaxies were born. Now, top boffins have pierced that fog and snapped a live action pic of one such galactic birth. Astronomers refer to this period, apparently, as the Epoch of Reionisation. …

23 Jul 2015 | 18

NASA briefing in HOURS: 'We are upon the CUSP of finding ANOTHER EARTH'

UpdatedEveryone knows the Kepler space telescope, whose six year mission (so far) has seen it discover many planets orbiting other stars - the task it was specifically built for, indeed. Now, it would seem, it has found something unusually important, as NASA has announced major press briefing on Kepler for later today. All the space …

23 Jul 2015 | 49

SPACE FARMER 'nauts arrive safely at International Space Station

Three fresh 'nauts have arrived at the International Space Station, bringing it up to its regular complement of six - and clearing the way for the first off-Earth farming. The arriving 'nauts are NASA astronaut Kjell Lindgren, Russian cosmonaut Oleg Kononenko and Japanese astronaut Kimiya Yui. The trio took off from Baikonur …

23 Jul 2015 | 21

Were the FIRST AMERICANS really FIRST? MYSTERY of vanished 'Population Y'

A long-vanished race of humans, whose descendants now survive only among certain indigenous peoples in Australasia and in the Amazon jungles, may have been the true, original Native Americans, according to new genetics research. The clue to the existence of this mysterious "Population Y" has been found by boffins probing the …

23 Jul 2015 | 47

AI finally understands primitive sketches – aka marketing presentations

Artificial intelligence scientists have developed a neural-network that understands incomprehensible scrawled drawings of the sort created by children, marketing departments, architects, design creatives, and so on. The academic developers of the "Sketch-a-Net" software proudly boast that their brainchild is actually better at …

22 Jul 2015 | 24

SpaceX's blast shock delays world's MOST POWERFUL ROCKET

Rocketry upstart SpaceX has said it's new "Falcon Heavy" launcher – which will be the most powerful on Earth when it comes into service – has been grounded by further delays. The news comes as part of a briefing given by SpaceX chief Elon Musk and other company executives outlining their plans following the explosion of a …

21 Jul 2015 | 82

An EPIC picture of Earth, sunny side up, from one million miles out

NASA has released a splendid new pic from the DSCOVR satellite, newly arrived at point L-1 a million miles sunward from Earth. An epic e-pic from EPIC. DSCOVR's full name is the Deep Space Climate Observatory, so dubbed for its position at the Lagrange point one million miles away on a line from the Earth to the Sun, where …

21 Jul 2015 | 57

Female blood-suckers zero in on human prey by smelling our breath

Deadly female blood-suckers have been shown to zero in on their living prey by sniffing out the CO2 emitted in exhaled breath, according to new experiments. The blood-drinking femme fatales in question are mosquitoes: but in all fairness mosquitoes are probably more of an issue for the human race than sexy vampires on any …

17 Jul 2015 | 65

Ideal solar system for SECOND EARTH found – and it's just 186 light-years away

There are hundreds of known exoplanets - worlds in orbit around other stars than our own Sun. The trouble is, because of the means used to detect them, that they tend to be big and very close to their faraway suns - and thus, sadly, not potential Earthlike habitable worlds. But that may have changed today. Excited astronomers …

16 Jul 2015 | 46

Older stories »

Cu in Hell: Thousands internetless after copper thieves pinch 500m of cable in Cambridgeshire

You're praying your biz won't be preyed upon? Have you heard of our lord and savior NVMe?

New York City sues T-Mobile US over 'abusive sales tactics'

What goes up must come down, and that applies to the server market in Q2 too

Everyone's a winner as Microsoft turns on new Windows 10 19H2 toys for all Slow Ring testers

Opal Fruits, Princess Diana and... PowerToys? Microsoft is dragging Windows 10 back to '95

Another sign of the End Times: Free software guru Richard Stallman speaks at Microsoft HQ

Loss-making $15bn hipster chat biz Slack suddenly less appetising to investors as it predicts deeper losses

Exim marks the spot… of remote code execution: Patch due out today for 'give me root' flaw in mail server

Massachusetts city tells ransomware scumbags to RYUK off, our IT staff will handle this easily

Too bad, so sad, exploit devs: Google patches possibly several million dollars' worth of security flaws in Android

Today's data whoopsie is brought to you by CircleCI: Source safe, but look out for phishers

Freebie tier coming to issue-tracking Jira, but you'll have to cough up to unlock the good stuff

Think you’ve blown your chance to save with serverless? Not so FaaSt...

IT biz Web Yoga adopts contrition pose, admits it turned blind eye to college's H-1B visa fraud

Keynotes by serverless pioneers, top real-world advice from experts, all-day workshops... this conference is perfect for you, Register readers

Cash carousel spun between Filetek and Autonomy, Lynch employee tells court

You know what the NHS really needs? Influencers, right guys? #blessed

Can you download it to me – in an envelope with a stamp?

Auditors bemoan time it takes for privatised RAF pilot training to produce combat-ready aviators

There's no getting Huawei from 5G – Chinese giant joins Qualcomm, Samsung in bunging high-speed comms in mobe brains

HP Inc waves bye to EMEA president with 'immediate effect'

OK, let's try that again: Vulture rakes a talon on Samsung's fresh attempt at the Galaxy Fold 5G

Acer and Asus unveil some of the world's heaviest laptops ... and some of its lightest

Finally! A solution to 42 – the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything

Valorous Vikram lunar lander – or Star Wreck: Enterprise? India's Moon craft goes all silent running during descent

Look, we know it feels like everything's going off the rails right now, but think positive: The proton has a new radius

Big bang theory: Was mystery explosion over New York caused by a meteor? Dunno. By a military jet? Maybe...

Be still, our drinking hearts: Help Reg name whisky beast conjured by Swedish distillers and AI blendbot

'I radically update my course module almost every year to keep up with the rate of change'

The time a Commodore CDTV disc proved its worth as something other than a coaster

Oops, wait, yeah, we did hand over photos for King's Cross facial-recog CCTV, cops admit

Outlook turned eBay into DD-Bay: Topless busty babe mysteriously fronts souk's emails

Royal Navy seeks missile-moving robots for dockyard drudgery

In Hemel Hempstead, cycling is as bad as taking a leak in the middle of the street

Now it's Terrance Dicks' turn to regenerate: Golden-age Doctor Who mainstay dies aged 84

Lewis Page

THESE ARE THE VOYAGES of the space probe Discovery

WATERPROOF iPhone 6Ss? Old news. Check out the OTHER 7 SECRET FEATURES

NASA announcement of MAJOR MARS DISCOVERY imminent: WHAT can it be?

Robot Romeo gets its 'antenna' snapped off in attempt to 'charm' testy American

FOUR STUNNING NEW FEATURES Cook should put in the iPHONE 7

SPACED OUT: NASA's manned Orion podule pushed back to 2023

BORN to HURL: Man's shoulders are head and shoulders above apes, gorillas, chimps etc

Tree hugger? Your wooden harem is much bigger than thought

Self-driving cars? Boring. We want self driving, lizard dodging golf carts

Pale backside of lovely Luna flits past in imagery from 1 million miles out

How much of one year's Californian energy use would wipe out the drought?

Small number of computer-aided rifles could be hacked in contrived scenario

Hawking, Musk, Woz (and others): Robots will kill us all

New study into lack of women in Tech: It's not the men's fault

Slippery, slimy find: LEGGY, WRIGGLY fossil shows SNAKES weren't legless. Or ARMLESS

SPLAT! STAR THWACKED, GUTS flung into space at 15 per cent of LIGHTSPEED

Galactic BIRTH: ALMA peers 13 billion years into Dawn of Time Itself

NASA briefing in HOURS: 'We are upon the CUSP of finding ANOTHER EARTH'

SPACE FARMER 'nauts arrive safely at International Space Station

Were the FIRST AMERICANS really FIRST? MYSTERY of vanished 'Population Y'

AI finally understands primitive sketches – aka marketing presentations

SpaceX's blast shock delays world's MOST POWERFUL ROCKET

An EPIC picture of Earth, sunny side up, from one million miles out

Female blood-suckers zero in on human prey by smelling our breath

Ideal solar system for SECOND EARTH found – and it's just 186 light-years away

Most read

Massachusetts city tells ransomware scumbags to RYUK off, our IT staff will handle this easily

Another sign of the End Times: Free software guru Richard Stallman speaks at Microsoft HQ

Now it's Terrance Dicks' turn to regenerate: Golden-age Doctor Who mainstay dies aged 84

The time a Commodore CDTV disc proved its worth as something other than a coaster

Cu in Hell: Thousands internetless after copper thieves pinch 500m of cable in Cambridgeshire

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