Andrew Orlowski

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LOL

OMG! Battle looms over WTF! trademarks

Giant multinational Procter & Gamble has filed for trademarks incorporating internet slang abbreviations including LOL to appeal to younger consumers – but it can expect to face challenges from hundreds of companies who, er, already thought of the idea ages ago. P&G registered to use marks including "OMG", "LOL" and "WTF" …
Andrew Orlowski, 24 Aug 2018
Apple I 1976 documentation

Do I hear two million dollars? Apple-1 fossil goes on the block, cassettes included

One of only 50 working Apple-1 computers goes up for auction next month in Boston. The board is a later model than the one that fetched $815,000 in 2016. That model was bought by Glamglow cosmetics founder Glenn Dellimore, who predicted it may have the value of a Picasso or Monet painting one day. Dellimore was prepared to pay …
Andrew Orlowski, 24 Aug 2018
Annoyed user of cellphone / mobile phone

Keep yer plastic, says analyst: eSIMs aren't all they're cracked up to be

Interview eSIM-enabled phones are a solution to a problem that doesn't exist – and consumers are better off without it, according to analyst Dean Bubley. The eSIM replaces the removable plastic chip card provided by mobile network operators with an embedded, programmable chip. Last week Bubley, founder of Disruptive Analysis, set off a …
Andrew Orlowski, 24 Aug 2018
kids drink milkshake

Android data slurping measured and monitored

Google's passive collection of personal data from Android and iOS has been monitored and measured in a significant academic study. The report confirms that Google is no respecter of the Chrome browser's "incognito mode" aka "porn mode", collecting Chrome data to add to your personal profile, as we pointed out earlier this year …
Andrew Orlowski, 24 Aug 2018
Apple iPhone 6s

Apple leaks rekindle some hope for iPhone 'supercycle' this year

Leaks of a forthcoming budget iPhone have boosted predictions that Apple will sell more smartphones in 2019. In 2017, the launch of the iPhone X marked the 10th anniversary of the original iPhone. It was predicted to spark a "supercycle" of demand – a term coined by Bernstein analyst Toni Sacconaghi – given that Apple received …
Andrew Orlowski, 23 Aug 2018
Corbyn thumbs up photo via Shutterstock

Tax the tech giants and ISPs until the bits squeak – Corbyn

The Leader of Her Majesty’s Opposition wants to tax ISPs and “technology giants” to fund the BBC and independent journalism. With Labour 10/11 to have the most seats at Britain's next General Election, his targets are obliged to take it seriously. Jeremy Corbyn used TV luvvie land's annual festival to float several proposals …
Andrew Orlowski, 23 Aug 2018
Google Pixel 2 Product

Unpicking the Pixel puzzle: Why Google is struggling to impress

Analysis Some 15 years ago at a private function, I explained to a bewildered and grumpy Larry Page how the mobile phone business worked. Page was besotted with his new gadget, a Danger Hiptop, a soap-bar shaped QWERTY phone that ran Java, which miraculously squeezed all the useful things about the internet (the web, chat, email) onto …
Andrew Orlowski, 22 Aug 2018
Apple Mac Mini

Apple tipped to revive forgotten Macbook Air and Mac mini – report

If Apple hoped that the MacBook Air and Mac mini would die a natural death, it's had to think again. After touting the mini's versatility – from a department server to a home media player – the desktop computer has languished since its last update in 2014, running the Haswell chips that Intel revealed in 2013. A year ago …
Andrew Orlowski, 21 Aug 2018
Hiker free falling from cliff

Gartner's Great Vanishing: Some of 2017's emerging techs just disappeared

There's been a tragedy on the fields of emerging technology and nobody seems to have noticed. Once-promising trends that were toiling for recognition a year ago have simply vanished. Where have they gone? Let us explain. Every year Gartner publishes its annual "Emerging Technologies Hype Cycle". For two decades this has …
Andrew Orlowski, 20 Aug 2018
Lutz AV Pod Reg Illo

Self-driving cars will be safe, we're testing them in a massive AI Sim

The British government this week unveiled plans for an ambitious AI simulator to be used to test self-driving cars. It's part of a stated mission to make the UK the world's leading destination for testing autonomous vehicles. The simulator, called OmniCAV, recreates a virtual version of 32km of Oxfordshire roads. "It's a …
Andrew Orlowski, 17 Aug 2018
Lightbulb illustration mono Shutterstock

Blinking internets, Batman! O2 trials 5G over lightbulbs

Telefonica’s O2 has confirmed that it is experimenting with transmitting high speed data using lightbulbs, the brainchild of an Edinburgh University professor Harald Haas. Transmitting data over the visible part of the spectrum, VLC (pdf), has one obvious advantage over using the congested RF spectrum. The IEEE began examining …
Andrew Orlowski, 17 Aug 2018
man winces as he shaves his face

Google shaves half a gig off Android Poundland Edition

Google's "Poundland" Edition of Android – Go – has received an update to 9.0 Pie. Google leaps on the platform formerly known as Firefox with $22m splurge for KaiOS READ MORE Not to be confused with Android One, which is really a marketing program for full fat Android, Go Edition is a small footprint version of Android …
Andrew Orlowski, 16 Aug 2018
Stalker: woman peers through keyhole

Google risks mega-fine in EU over location 'stalking'

Special Report Privacy campaigners say Google's obsessive collection of location markers violates Europe's privacy laws - potentially exposing the Californian giant to punitive fines. Several privacy watchers agree that as it stands, users are misled, and can't give informed consent. That exposes the company to financial penalty under GDPR …
Andrew Orlowski, 16 Aug 2018
Undergroundarts.co.uk http://www.shutterstock.com/gallery-79884p1.html

EU wants one phone plug to rule them all. But we've got a better idea.

Comment European Commissioner Margrethe Vestager has lost patience with phone makers insisting on using different connector designs for charging, and promised an impact study on the consumer pain that Lightning and USB causes. Vestager confirmed the policy in a Parliament Answer this month. In 2011, in response to pressure from the …
Andrew Orlowski, 16 Aug 2018
tALL PINE TREES IN FOREST

If you drop a tablet in a forest of smartphones, will anyone hear it fall?

Sales of tablets fell 10 per cent in Western Europe during calendar Q2 to a mere 6.3m units, according to abacus stroker IDC To put that into context, IDC told us smartphone shipments in the same region in Q2 were 27.2M units, despite a decline of 4.5 per cent year-on-year. The analyst counts Microsoft Surface PCs as tablets …
Andrew Orlowski, 15 Aug 2018
Lenovo ThinkPad P1

CADs and boffins get some ThinkPad love

Lenovo unloads most of its annual ThinkPad line onto the world at CES in January, for a spring launch. (Here is this year’s.) But the Beijing firm saves one or two surprises for later in the year. And here’s one. The P1 is a new addition to the P-series that embeds workstation specs into something an Apple user might recognise …
Andrew Orlowski, 14 Aug 2018
An executive slowly vanishing

Apple pulls iOS 12 beta 7 after less than 24 hrs

Apple has pulled the latest beta of its iOS platform software after less than 24 hours in the wild, and without explanation. This year’s release, iOS 12, is intended to be a performance update with Apple stating that it sought to improve performance on older, lower RAM devices like the iPhone 6. The platform release is …
Andrew Orlowski, 14 Aug 2018
Young people stare vacantly at their mobile phones/ cellphones

Vodafone's spending pays off - but EE hangs on to UK network crown

EE is being strongly challenged by rival networks that have improved their reliability, and in some cases their data performance too. Network performance monitor Rootmetrics' nationwide survey for the first half of 2018 placed EE top in the five main categories - as it always has. But more interestingly – now that network …
Andrew Orlowski, 14 Aug 2018
Galaxy Watch

Samsung Galaxy Watch: A tough and classy activity tracker

Hands On Platform rivals to the Apple’s WatchOS have been stagnating for years, with no new silicon from Qualcomm with which to take on the (now) all-conquering Apple smartwatch since 2016. Samsung isn’t dependent on San Diego for silicon though, and it has put the latest it can into its new wearables – and seriously revived the race. …
Andrew Orlowski, 14 Aug 2018
pixelbook

Windows is coming to Chromebooks… with Google’s blessing

Google plans to allow Windows 10 to run on its budget Chromebooks, with the Chocolate Factory’s blessing. Chatter has been discovered in the low level source code of a branch of the Google Pixelbook firmware code that would seem to indicate that Google is working on providing drivers that Windows 10 needs to run. The Github …
Andrew Orlowski, 13 Aug 2018
Note9 Pen

Samsung Galaxy Note 9: A steep price to pay

Hands On The new Samsung Galaxy Note still has a lot to prove after the last-but-one Note - 2016's Note 7 - kept bursting into flames. Samsung PR right now pic.twitter.com/siIlUOkKXM — The Register (@TheRegister) 5 October 2016 Understandably cautious after a recall-and-reissue that didn’t solve the problem, last year Samsung made a …
Andrew Orlowski, 13 Aug 2018
California January 6, 2018: navy tesla model 3 charging at supercharger station Aleksei Potov / Shutterstock.com

Talk about left Field: Apple lures back Tesla engineering guru

Doug Field, Tesla's VP of engineering, and the man in charge of the Tesla Model 3 until May, is to rejoin Apple, the tech titan confirmed this week. The move strengthens the view that Apple's stalled car initiative may have been pushed back onto the road. Unofficial Apple PR conduit Daring Fireball said it believed that " …
Andrew Orlowski, 10 Aug 2018
Ji Soo Yi, Samsung

Clap, damn you, clap! Samsung's Bixby 2.0 AI reveal is met with apathy

Comment When Samsung's veep of artificial intelligence strategy, the enigmatic Ji Soo Yi, demonstrated Bixby 2.0 at the chaebol's Galaxy event yesterday, he had to prompt the audience for applause. "You can clap," he urged the attendees after stunned silence met another new feature. This earned instant derision on Twitter, but let's …
Andrew Orlowski, 10 Aug 2018
Samsung Galaxy Note 9, Galaxy Watch, and Galaxy Home speaker

The last phablet? 6.4in Samsung Galaxy Note 9 leaves you $1k lighter, needs 'water cooling'

Pics Samsung is allegedly mulling ending its Galaxy Note line, now that almost every smartphone on the planet is larger than the original Note – which was so absurdly large at launch it was dubbed the first “phablet." Funnily enough, that first Note, with a mere 5.3in touchscreen, is a minnow by today’s standards: the Galaxy Note 9 …
Is my watch broken?

Android ain't done until Samsung won't run? 9.0 Pie borks Gear watch app

Android P may have been the smoothest and most public beta the world’s dominant phone OS has yet enjoyed, but it isn't without its issues. Bluetooth tweaks mean that Samsung's Gear watch app can't be used to configure a new smartwatch, The Register has discovered, with our testbed Pixel 2 repeatedly failing the procedure. …

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