Paul Kunert

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Paul Kunert is the editor of Channel Register
Happy business people celebrate. Photo by Shutterstock

HP Inc CEO reports 'breakthrough' quarter as PC sales shoot up

For the first time in more than half a decade HP Inc has managed to report quarterly growth in both its PC and printer businesses, a point CEO Dion Weisler described as a watershed moment in the company's recent history. However, spiralling costs, particularly in Selling, General and Administrative Expenses, meant profits were …
Paul Kunert, 25 May 2017
I quit

Lenovo UK boss pulls the chain, flushes himself out of there

Exclusive Lenovo UK boss John Harber has quit just 15 months after taking the hot seat, El Reg can confirm. Harber landed the job in February last year, moving across from being veep of global sales at wearables and peripherals vendor Jawbone. A PR rep at Lenovo told us that Harber, an exec director and GM for the UK and Ireland …
Paul Kunert, 25 May 2017
A crying child

Dixons Carphone: Brexit not a factor as Brits' gadget lust holds strong

Political uncertainty haven’t put punters off purchasing electronic gadgets, Dixons Carphone CEO reported today. The group issued a trading update for fiscal ’16 ended 29 April ahead of reporting its full blown annual results showing sales were up nine per cent year-on-year, including a two per cent rise in the UK. The Brexit …
Paul Kunert, 24 May 2017
Man throws briefcase in the air happily on the beach. Photo by Shutterstock

Channel luvvie Martin Hellawell set to check out of Softcat. Sort of

Martin Hellawell, the McDonald's-card-toting CEO at mega reseller Softcat isn't quite sailing off into the sunset just yet, but he is preparing to handover the operation once a successor is found. In a note to the London Stock Exchange, Softcat confirmed Hellawell had "decided to step down" and will take over as non-exec …
Paul Kunert, 24 May 2017
Outsourcing

Capita and Birmingham City Council 'dissolve' joint venture

The long-running and highly criticised joint venture between Capita and Birmingham, England, City Council is being rubbed out, reportedly saving taxpayers around £44m. The Service Birmingham Partnership was established in 2006 – Capita was the majority shareholder – with some grand ambitions to save the council £500m, generate …
Paul Kunert, 23 May 2017

Dell kills botched BIOS update that murdered punters' PCs

Dell has finally 'fessed up about the BIOS update that borked some customers' PCs, and advised punters to do what many have tried so far without any success – contact its tech troubleshooters for resolution. Complaints about the release first emerged a week ago after Dell owners of the Inspiron 20 model 3052 and 20 3252 …
Paul Kunert, 19 May 2017

Man sues date for cinema texting fiasco, demands $17.31

A Texan is suing his date for the cost of a cinema ticket after she upset him by sending a bunch of texts to a pal while watching Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2. Brandon Vezmar has filed a lawsuit in a small claims court in the state capital of Austin to get back the $17.31 he splashed during their first and seemingly final …
Paul Kunert, 19 May 2017
A large hand flicks an icon of a little red man. Image via shutterstock (Lasse Kristensen)

DXC Technology looks to lighten the payroll six weeks after launch

It was only a matter of time before DXC Technology – the corporate pile-up between CSC and HPE’s former Enterprise Services division – began using staff cuts to lighten the overheads. And so it begins. Peter Hands, veep at DXC, formed at the start of April, has told employees the business has “committed the achieve specific …
Paul Kunert, 19 May 2017
G-CFOJ Eurocopter EC155 Helicopter Starspeed Ltd. Pic CC SA 2.0 by James (https://www.flickr.com/photos/95512093@N05/)

IBM CEO Ginni flouts £75 travel crackdown, rides Big Blue chopper

IBM’s glorious leader Ginni Rometty – also known in some corners as the axe woman – this week cocked a snook to the corporate directive on travel restrictions by flying into the Hursley-based R&D centre in a Big Blue chopper. An IBM UK Lab Campus blog, seen by El Reg, revealed that the chairman, president and CEO spent 17 May …
Paul Kunert, 19 May 2017
Qualcomm

Taking a bite out of our profit, Apple? Let's get legal, says Qualcomm

Qualcomm is suing Chinese iPhone and iPad contract makers it says have stopped paying it royalties at the behest of Apple. A complaint [PDF], filed today in the Southern District of California, has demanded that Foxconn and four other Apple suppliers make license payments in line with their contracts, as well as coughing up …
Paul Kunert, 17 May 2017
Giant ice cream cone in front of a ferris wheel at the Vincennes fair (Foire du Trone) - Paris, France Photo by  ErickN / Shutterstock.com

How to reward an IBM exec for lower sales and shrinking profits? Promotion

IBM’s UK overlord David Stokes is getting his just deserts for presiding over a sustained period of sliding sales and plummeting profits - he’s being promoted. Stokes, who became CEO for IBM’s British business at the start of 2013, is set to be made chief operating officer for Europe on 22 May, IBM confirmed in a brief …
Paul Kunert, 16 May 2017

Sweaty fitness bands fall behind as Apple Watch outpaces sales

Consumers’ love affair with fitness bands looks to have run its course with smartwatches shaping up to be the preferred way to lose the tub. Or so market sales data from channel analyst Canalys has indicated: basic band shipment globally, which are comprised mostly of fitness bands, fell seven per cent year-on-year to just …
Paul Kunert, 12 May 2017
closed

Microsoft distie Entatech goes TITSUP

The loss of contracts with strategic vendors and the subsequent decline in sales forced components distributor Entatech to call in administrative receivers, The Reg can confirm. Insolvency practitioners Chris Pole and Mark Orton from KPMG were appointed on 8 May, and now face the task of "exploring" what seem like limited …
Paul Kunert, 09 May 2017
Angry old man

HPE dumps Grandpa Software in Micro Focus care home, hightails it

The hospice bed that Micro Focus readied to admit Hewlett Packard Enterprise's sickly Software business is closer to being filled now regulatory approvals for the deal are in. The $8.8bn reverse takeover by LSE-listed Micro Focus, which hit the headlines in September, represents yet another piece of HPE that CEO Meg Whitman …
Paul Kunert, 09 May 2017

IBM: Customer visit costing £75 in travel? Kill it with extreme prejudice

It’s not just teleworkers that are feeling the sharp end of IBM strategic shifts – services personnel must now justify visiting a client on site if travel costs £75 or more. Tosca Colangeli, Big Blue’s UK veep of Global Technology Services, has told her team: “All travel requests raised should be critical requirements that …
Paul Kunert, 09 May 2017
A bus on fire in Whaddon

Fire fighters get grinding on London man’s trapped genitalia

An East London man is breathing more easily today after fire fighters came to his rescue early this morning - they used a hydraulic pedal cutter to remove a metal ring he had slipped over his dangly bits several days before. The unnamed chap arrived at King George Hospital in the London Borough of Redbridge where staff …
Paul Kunert, 04 May 2017

Microsoft Azure capacity woes hit UK customers. Yes, you read that right

Exclusive Microsoft's public cloud business is experiencing growing pains – fresh deployments are being held up by insufficient rack space in the UK data centres that host Azure. According to company insiders, Microsoft rents data centre space in London and Cardiff from third-party providers, and owns a facility in Durham, but these …
Paul Kunert, 04 May 2017
Feet on hot beach sand

Gang-briefed by IBM bosses in Hawaii? Nah, I'll take redundancy

The so-called Best of IBM will descend on Hawaii this week as a pat on the back for “delivering signature client experiences and results”. No, really. But it won’t all be sun, sea and slides - gang-briefings on “solutions” will feature heavily too. One thousand True Blues (or mini-Ginnis) will be flown to the Fairmont Orchid …
Paul Kunert, 03 May 2017
Trophy. Image via Shutterstock

Heroic stepmum takes one for team, sticks pot pipe up wazoo

A Florida woman was arrested for repeatedly ignoring a cop's request to hand over a pot pipe, preferring instead – according to cops – to conceal the gear in her nether regions. Police say Trudy Kay Richardson was the passenger in her step-daughter's Pontiac Grand Prix FL on 29 April at roughly 6.30pm when officer Caricia …
Paul Kunert, 02 May 2017
Two beer glasses clash and splash frothy beer into the air. Cheers! Photo by Shutterstock

Man nicked trying to 'save' beer from burning building

A South Dakotan was cuffed after he repeatedly barged past police and firefighters that were trying to deal with a blaze in his apartment block so he could re-enter and rescue his most precious possession - beer. Michael Casteel was nicked on 27 March when he re-emerged from the property in Sioux Falls, clutching two cans of …
Paul Kunert, 25 Apr 2017
Road Closed sign

SAP Anywhere goes nowhere, reaches commercial cul-de-sac

SAP Anywhere, the "complete front-office software package", is going nowhere quickly in Europe as the service has been closed to new customers. The cloudy thing purported to manage SME customers’ e-commerce websites, their CRM, sales, order management, inventory and customer services from a single point. But the German …
Paul Kunert, 24 Apr 2017

Union elevates Fujitsu job cutting protest to Japanese embassy

Unite the Union wants Japan's ambassador to the UK to intervene in the long-running dispute with Fujitsu over the company's proposals to axe almost two thousand employees locally. The brothers at the union will tomorrow deliver a letter to Mr Koji Tsuruoka at the London-based embassy. The letter will criticise the "shameful …
Paul Kunert, 20 Apr 2017
Strike a match

April proves to be the cruellest month again as Fujitsu staff down tools

The beleaguered rank-and-file at Fujitsu are downing tools this month over long-running proposals to chop jobs and the pension pot, Unite the union has revealed. Fujitsu put 1,800 people, or 13 per cent of the UK workforce, at risk of redundancy back in October. Staff will be pushed at different stages of this year and early …
Paul Kunert, 10 Apr 2017
Data scientist image via Shutterstock

Gartner halves tech splash forecasts, blames the US dollar

Data druids at Gartner are defending their soothsaying abilities after being forced to halve the projected rise they forecast for global tech spending for 2017 when an expected slide in the value of the greenback didn’t materialise. “The strong US dollar has cut $67 billion out of our 2017 IT spending forecast,” said research …
Paul Kunert, 10 Apr 2017
from the great gatsby pic copyright: warner brothers

Franken-firm DXC Technology is born today, the fun begins...

Franken-firm DXC Technology, the corporate mash-up between CSC and HPE Enterprise Services that was brought to life today, has urged staff to turn up to work in fancy dress, or at least corporate colours, to celebrate the launch. Memos - seen by us - were sent to staff of the new company at the end of last week, listing all of …
Paul Kunert, 03 Apr 2017

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