9th > February > 2018 Archive


Wish you could log into someone's Netgear box without a password? Summon a &genie=1

If you're using a Netgear router at home, it's time to get patching. The networking hardware maker has just released a tsunami of patches for a couple of dozen models of its kit.
Iain Thomson, 09 Feb 2018
Rook diagram

Rook's hooked to cook bit nooks by the book

The organization overseeing container juggling system Kubernetes has decided to befriend a storage project.
Thomas Claburn, 09 Feb 2018

Paging all Microsoft System Center users: Your treadmill is here

Microsoft has delivered the first Semi-Annual Channel version of System Center.
Simon Sharwood, 09 Feb 2018
VMware nutella

VMware sticks finger in Meltdown/Spectre dike for virtual appliances

VMware has advised on how to mitigate the Meltdown and Spectre chip design flaws in several of its products.
Simon Sharwood, 09 Feb 2018
Trying to catch money in a net

Qualcomm asks Broadcom over for lunch and a proper chat about being bought

Qualcomm has rejected Broadcom's latest attempt to buy it, but has also said it is willing to discuss doing a deal.
Simon Sharwood, 09 Feb 2018

No yolking matter: Google Translate cock-up gives Norwegians more than un œuf eggs

A group of Norwegian chefs blames Google Translate after the applications improperly ordered 1500 eggs to 15.000.
Shaun Nichols, 09 Feb 2018

Nvidia reports record revenues in latest fiscal quarter

Nvidia’s grip on the GPU market continues to strengthen as it reported its excellent quarterly and full year revenues compared to last year.
Katyanna Quach, 09 Feb 2018
touched by the hand of electrical gods

Secret weekend office bonk came within inch of killing sysadmin

On-CallWelcome once more to On-Call, in which The Register celebrates users' many, many failures by sharing your stories of being asked to clean up behind them.
Simon Sharwood, 09 Feb 2018
Cartoon man with panicked expression

As GDPR draws close, ICANN suggests 12 conflicting ways to cure domain privacy pains

Incoming European privacy laws which carry a global impact for anyone doing business in the Union are continuing to cause an epic policy meltdown at internet overseer ICANN.
Kieren McCarthy, 09 Feb 2018
Mark Wahlberg and his come-to-life teddy bear in bed in the movie Ted. Copyright: Universal Pictures

It took us less than 30 seconds to find banned 'deepfake' AI smut on the internet

Fake AI-generated pornography has been banned by sites including Reddit and Pornhub, but others operations say they're fine with the practice of putting celebrities' faces on porn actresses' bodies.
Katyanna Quach, 09 Feb 2018
Game of Thrones  cartoon

Game of Thrones showrunners to make Star Wars flicks

Game of Thrones fans hoping that showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss might spend more time in Westeros will have to visit a galaxy far, far away instead after Disney signed the pair for a series of Star Wars flicks.
Simon Sharwood, 09 Feb 2018
planet of the apes

It's been 50 years since those damn dirty apes took the planet by storm

On a cold, dry evening of February 9, 1968, cinemagoers at New York's venerable Capitol Theatre were the first members of the public to be taken to a new but worryingly familiar world.
Michael Moran, 09 Feb 2018
old Cassette Tape player and recorder on a white background... the play and record keys are blurred from use.

Home taping revisited: A mic in each hand, pointing at speakers

Something for the Weekend, Sir?I once tried to do it standing on one leg, arms pressed against the wall for stability.
Alistair Dabbs, 09 Feb 2018
man yells in shock

BT backs down from charging millions in phone book listing fees

BT has quietly withdrawn its threat to charge communications providers millions in six years' worth of back bills for special-entry listings in its phone book.
Kat Hall, 09 Feb 2018
people queueing

Got some fancy new flash in the works, huh Micron? Join the QLC

Later this year Micron plans to release quad-level cell flash drives that encroach on the nearline disk drive market.
Chris Mellor, 09 Feb 2018
ee 4g antenna

EE unveils shoebox-sized router to boost Brit bumpkin broadband

EE is launching a "shoebox"-sized 4G antenna, which it claims could bring coverage to 580,000 UK homes in rural areas.
Kat Hall, 09 Feb 2018
open window in an office building... just the right size for a person to fall out

BOFH: We want you to know you have our full support

Episode 2"NGGGGAAARRRGGGHHH!" the PFY says, slamming his mouse onto the desk several times.
Simon Travaglia, 09 Feb 2018

Remember the Yorkie pizza horror? Here's who won our exclusive Reg merch...

GiveawayThe winner of our “what would you do with a terrible Morrisons Yorkshire Pudding Pizza concoction” competition can, at long last, be announced to Reg readers of the Great British Public and beyond.
Gareth Corfield, 09 Feb 2018

Why aren't you being arbiters of truth? MPs scream at Facebook, YouTube, Twitter

No matter their protestations, the big tech firms will always be asked to do more to tackle the manifestations of society's problems on their platforms. And yesterday's four-hour evidence session in front of British parliamentarians was no different.
Rebecca Hill, 09 Feb 2018

Brit regulator pats self on back over nuisance call reduction: It's just 4 billion now!

UK communications regulator Ofcom and the Information Commissioner’s Office have awarded themselves a pat on the back for reducing the amount of nuisance calls in the islands to a mere 3.9 billion last year.
Kat Hall, 09 Feb 2018
Shaun of the dead zombies cricket bat movie still. Copyright Universal Pictures

Corpse! of! Yahoo! drags! emails! of! the! dead! case! to! US! Supreme! Court!

Should a court-appointed lawyer be allowed to rifle through your email account after you die? The artist formerly known as Yahoo! has asked the US Supreme Court to answer that question for users in the United States.
Gareth Corfield, 09 Feb 2018

Hortonworks: Woo! We're breakeven – just don't focus on the $46m operating losses

Data biz Hortonworks shaved $50m off its operating losses in 2017, describing the year as "pivotal", as it continues efforts to rebrand itself as more than just Hadoop.
Rebecca Hill, 09 Feb 2018

A storage baker's dozen: We spill the tea on the firms, the faces, the dough

What went on in storageland this week, you ask? Keep your saucer level, but we had Cisco saying its kit will be needed because the cloud is spreading, Delphix snuggling up to SAP, Zerto going even more multi-cloud, plus a good few smaller items.
Chris Mellor, 09 Feb 2018
Making up

Uber and Waymo sitting in a tree, S-E-T-T-L-I-N-G

Uber and Google-owned self-driving car biz Waymo have reached a settlement in the infamous lawsuit between the two.
Gareth Corfield, 09 Feb 2018

Trump's tax reforms lift DXC's profit

Tax reforms in the US helped shore up the bottom line of cost hurling Frankenfirm DXC Technologies, but the top line slid at the company for third straight quarter since it came into being.
Paul Kunert, 09 Feb 2018
Cheque, photo via Shutterstock

Uber and its 245 million reasons to settle with Google's Waymo

AnalysisIt was just one more twist in an extraordinary story: this morning Uber settled its San Francisco court battle with rival Waymo for $245m in stock.
Kieren McCarthy, 09 Feb 2018
Dr Strangelove bomb

Ruskie boffins blasted for using nuke bomb lab's supercomputer to mine crypto-rubles

Engineers at Russia's top nuclear weapons lab have been arrested – after the eggheads were caught using one of the supercomputers to mine cryptocurrency.
Iain Thomson, 09 Feb 2018

Uh-oh! Someone hit the Kalanick button! Uber's fired CEO claims Waymo deal vindicates him

CommentThe man responsible for dragging the reputation of one of the tech world's biggest names through the mud, into the gutter, and in circles around raw sewage has claimed today's out-of-court Waymo-Uber settlement vindicates him.
Kieren McCarthy, 09 Feb 2018

Due to Oracle being Oracle, Eclipse holds poll to rename Java EE (No, it won't be Java McJava Face)

Unable to convince Oracle to allow the use of its trademarked term "Java" to refer to the open source version of Java Enterprise Edition (Java EE), the Eclipse Foundation is asking those who care about such things to vote on proposed names for the software project.
Thomas Claburn, 09 Feb 2018

No sh*t, Sherlock! Bloke suspected of swallowing drug stash keeps colon schtum for 22 DAYS

A suspected drug dealer accused of swallowing his stash has become internet famous – after refusing to take a dump, and thus provide the cops their evidence, for 22 DAYS and counting.
Iain Thomson, 09 Feb 2018

You dopes! US state's pot dealer database pwned after security goes up in smoke

The US state of Washington says a miscreant was able to access the system it uses to track the manufacturing and sale of marijuana.
Shaun Nichols, 09 Feb 2018

US states accused of skimming cash from 911 emergency call dosh

The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) has warned that multiple US states are using money designated for emergency services to fund other unrelated projects.
Kieren McCarthy, 09 Feb 2018

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