Not quite the Bake Off they were expecting: Canadian seniors served weed-infused brownies
Mummy, why is Gramps talking to that tree?
Ontario oldsters were left dazed and confused after munching their way through a succulent platter of cannabis-laced chocolate brownies.
Canada's CBC reported that several people needed medical attention after wolfing down the hash cakes. There was, however, no mention of herds of zimmer-equipped elderly heading to the nearest convenience store in search of salsa and Doritos like a trippy Romero flick.
Canada legalised the recreational use of marijuana nationwide last year, with Prime Minister Justin Trudeau trumpeting the move.
It’s been too easy for our kids to get marijuana - and for criminals to reap the profits. Today, we change that. Our plan to legalize & regulate marijuana just passed the Senate. #PromiseKept— Justin Trudeau (@JustinTrudeau) June 20, 2018
However, feeding the stuff to unsuspecting seniors doesn't feature in the legislation. It is also a really, really uncool thing to do, m'kay?
Police are unsure if the brownies were deliberately spiked or if a stoned supplier simply rocked up with the wrong batch. It would be an easy mistake after testing the produce prior to shipment.
The luncheon where the brownies were served was catered so tracking down the miscreants should be possible. Let's face it, any subsequent pursuit is unlikely to be high-speed, with the battered bakers either rigid with irrational paranoia or simply enjoying a deep and meaningful discussion on the merits of Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon when played against The Wizard of Oz.
Because, you know, it synchronises just right. Kind of. Yeah.
Police said that only those who consumed the brownies were "affected", with 10 unfortunates needing medical attention. The rest probably just felt a bit groovy, put on some modern jazz and came up with an answer to what lies beyond the visible universe, the origins of Dark Matter and, of course, a solution to Brexit's Irish "backstop".
Perhaps something similar could be served in the halls of Westminster. Those twisted knickers could use a bit of unfurling. ®