'It's full of beer!' Miracle fridge reveals itself to pals tuckered out from cleaning flooded cabin
Sometimes life is pretty A-OK
"I need a beer" is a phrase often uttered universally after a hard day's slog. But having cool, crisp refreshment fall into your lap as if by magic is something most of us can only dream of.
Not so for two blokes who spent Sunday cleaning a mud-logged property in Nebraska.
The US Midwest has been ravaged by record flooding, and Kyle Simpson had enlisted his mate Gayland Stouffer to help sort out the mess left at his cabin by the Platte River bursting its banks.
Once finished, the pair had to endure a gruelling mile-long walk back to their car in "waist-high floodwater", the Lincoln Journal Star reports, "dodging debris and ice chunks and washouts".
We can imagine those immortal words would have seemed very appropriate.
A short distance from the road, obscured by debris, what looked like a fridge lay on its back.
Stouffer went to check it out while Simpson waited.
"He says, 'Hey, this is a refrigerator.' And he opens it up and says, 'It's full of beer.'
"I said, 'Yeah, right.'
"And he reaches in and says, 'It's ice cold.'"
For those of you that don't know, our state of #Nebraska is going through record flooding. Sometimes though, the world sends you a break. These guys went to their #DuckCamp and found a fully-stocked #BeerFridge. #NebraskaStrong #Flood2019 pic.twitter.com/t8FvdqVQ3g— Fat Boy Wild Game (@gameseasonings) March 19, 2019
Surely this was a sign from the gods – so of course the pair cracked open a couple of brewskis and had a laugh, the absurdity of the situation inspiring Simpson to take his first-ever selfie (above), according to the Journal Star.
Well, you'd have to.
The divine care package of Busch Light and Bud Light had been kept intact by the fridge door, and once the lucky pals had told social media of their conquest, it wasn't long before the fridge's owner came forward.
Brian Healy recognised the ratio of drinks – Bud for pa and Busch for the rest of the clan – as coming from his family's cabin near the town of Linwood.
The fridge had already survived a house fire, after which it smelled of smoke so the Healys moved it to their cabin.
"It's just a summer cabin, no heat to it," Healy said. "But it had a full beer fridge; you always got to have one of those."
The cabin had been completely flattened by the waters and the blessed fridge was deposited in a field over 6km (4 miles) away.
Simpson's getaway, on the other hand, was built on stilts and survived, but the outbuildings weren't so lucky. The friends had an enormous task shifting the muck so finding the beer at the end of the day was nigh on miraculous.
He said: "It was a gift sent from the heavens, and we were happy to see it. But we hoped the people who lost the fridge were OK, we hoped their property was OK."
Simpson has promised to return the fridge to Healy, minus a few tinnies. It really brings a tear to the eye.
Of course, here at The Register "I need a beer", "Is it time for a beer?" and "I'm getting a beer" are some of the most frequently heard slogans among "Who ate all the cakes?", "This room smells bad", "Why doesn't the aircon work?" and "Anyone about to file?"
Fortunately, we don't need to wait for a magic fridge – we have beer and cider on tap for free at our shared workspace, allowing us to mostly dodge the exorbitant London prices.
We extend our heartfelt sympathies to those of you living without this stellar service. May the beer gods smile on you, too, one day. ®