Capita: We are seeking staff to join our board. Just two please
Imagine the kind of luxury custard creams you'd get at that meeting, right proles?
You've worked at Capita for at least two years, have seen your fair share of colleagues sent down the redundancy chute in that time, been forced to clip travel costs and biz expenses to do your bit toward profitability.
You'll also be acutely aware of your employer's plan to automate service delivery, and with it potentially your livelihood, but fear not: plans are afoot that might let you and a colleague get all touchy-feely with upper management.
CEO Jonathan Lewis, the man brought into to rewrite corporate strategy amid the most challenging period in Capita’s near-three decade history, is seeking two employees to take a seat on the company board, potentially right next to the tormentors senior leaders that have made decisions you didn't agree with.
"I'm proud that Capita will be the first company in decades to appoint employees to its board," said Lewis today.
"But this is not a radical move; it's just the right thing to do," the sensitive CEO added. "A decade on from the financial crisis and corporate Britain still needs to rebuild trust. Different perspectives at board level are part of that effort. An employee director will bring diversity of thought and strengthen our decision-making."
Of course, the two new proles shoe-horned onto the board will be able to rub shoulders with seven high-ranking Capita officials including Sir Ian Powell, non-exec chairman, as well as non-exec director Baroness Lucy Nevill-Rolfe.
The criteria for qualification is to have notched up at least 24 months at Capita, and to have received the golden email inviting them to apply.
The new members will be paid the same annual fee and expenses as other non-exec directors: £64,500. Capita also said the newbies would have the "equal authority in strategic decision-making to other directors".
They will still be expected to continue with their day job at Capita.
The appointments will run for two to three years, starting in calendar Q2 of 2019. Presumably another duo will then be awarded seats at the top table.
Lewis, who has narrowed Capita's focus since he took the job last autumn in a bid to steer the business to profits again, said the employee board members may be found lurking in any unit across the company.
"Whether that's in software or services, based in Colwyn Bay or Cape Town. This marks us out as a forward-looking company seeking to attract, recruit and retain employees in the competitive, technology-focused environment in which we operate."
Oh the joys of working at Capita! To mangle Samuel Johnson's much used quote: when an employee is tired of Capita, he is tired of life. ®