Japanese cyber security minister 'doesn't know what a USB stick is'

Never uses computers because his peons do everything for him

Businessman holding USB stick
It's one of these

In Blighty, we have former home secretary Amber "Necessary Hashtags" Rudd, but shockingly politicians' failure to grasp basic aspects of their brief is not limited to the UK.

Which takes us to Japan, where the country's newly appointed deputy minister responsible for cyber security admitted in parliament yesterday that he hasn't touched a computer in his 43-year career.

According to The Graun, Yoshitaka Sakurada, responding to a question from the opposition during a lower house session, said:

"Since the age of 25, I have instructed my employees and secretaries, so I don't use computers myself."

When pressed about use of USB sticks in Japanese nuclear facilities, the 68-year-old Luddite appeared vexed.

His confession provoked amazement.

"It's unbelievable that someone who has not touched computers is responsible for cybersecurity policies," thundered opposition minister Masato Imai.

And, as is par for the course, the Twittersphere brutally weighed in. "Doesn't he feel ashamed?" wrote one shocked micro-blogger. "Today any company president uses a PC," fumed another. "He doesn't even know what a USB is. Holy cow."

One commentator jokingly pointed out that avoiding computers is a cast-iron defence against cybercrooks. "If a hacker targets this Minister Sakurada, they wouldn't be able to steal any information. Indeed it might be the strongest kind of security!"

Remarkably, Sakurada has another high-profile duty: the 2020 Tokyo Olympic Games. He isn't covering himself in glory there either.

"Earlier this month he claimed to know nothing about plans for North Korea's sports minister to attend a meeting in Tokyo at the end of the month, in violation of a ban on the regime's officials entering Japan," The Graun reported.

During a news conference, bumbling Sakurada said he was "unaware" of the report, but was swiftly corrected by an aide. Actually, mate, you've been briefed all about it 'cos, you know, it's your job.

He also denied knowledge that the president of the International Olympic Committee had asked North Korean leader Kim Jong-un in March to permit his country's athletes to compete.

"This is not something I should be meddling in in my capacity," local media quoted him as saying. "It's beyond my jurisdiction."

If Japan suddenly disappears into the ocean, we'll know why. ®




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