Woman who hooked up with over 15 spectres has found her forever phantom after whirlwind romance and plane sex
Ghouls just wanna have fun
If, on the eve of Halloween, your mind has turned to Amethyst Realm, the woman who dated more than 15 ghosts, let us get you up to speed. She has settled down. With another spook.
The 30-year-old "spiritual guidance counsellor" from Bristol plans to have a baby with her spectral fiancé, Cornwall Live reported, though how that will work is anyone's guess.
Meet the woman with a supernatural affinity for stiff loversREAD MORE
Will the tot be of flesh or are we in Casper the Friendly Ghost territory? The mind boggles. Labour would be a degree less physical if indeed the child was non-corporeal. Though there is just a niggling suspicion that they are simply non-real.
She elucidated on this point during her appearance on This Morning earlier this year. Kind of. "I believe a phantom pregnancy is a real pregnancy but you have a phantom inside of you rather than a human baby.
"The reason we don't carry them to full term is the people who have them don't comprehend it or think it's possible.
"I hope through understanding my body I will be able to. I don't know what it will turn out like. Whether it would be in human form or spirit form – I don't know."
According to BristolLive, the wraith asked Amethyst for her hand in marriage on a trip to Wookey Hole, a village in Somerset with a limestone cave system, which really is such a romantic setting for a pairing like this.
Even more bizarrely, the star-crossed lovers met in Australia, flew back to England together and reportedly joined the Mile High club. Did he need a ticket? Immigration must have been a nightmare. Really, the whole episode poses more questions than answers.
The Sun's take is a goldmine of batshit crazy. "I'd not had a phantom fling for a while and as I was away on business, starting a new relationship was the last thing on my mind," Amethyst told the red top.
"Then one day, while I was walking through the bush, enjoying nature, I suddenly felt this incredible energy. A new lover had arrived.
"From experience, I knew spirits tend to stay in one place, but something amazing happened." Yes, she felt the spirit's presence on the plane.
"I was happy and excited – so excited that we had to do something about it. So we headed to the plane loo and, well..." (You get the idea.)
As for the proposal, she said: "There was no going down on one knee – he doesn't have knees. But for the first time, I heard him speak.
"I could actually hear his voice and it was beautiful. Deep, sexy and real."
So what's a ghost hookup like? "Ghost lovers tend to be more sensual and adept than the average bloke. There's always more of a connection, because the sex goes beyond physical. It's like any other kind of sex. The main difference is I just can't see them.
"I feel them though, their weight against me, their touch, the warmth and energy that just sinks into me.
"Sometimes I get the feeling that I'm being moved. Orgasms I have with my spirit lovers have been way more satisfying than any I've had with ordinary men."
Just give up already, fleshbags! ®