Mystery crapper comes a cropper

Too stool for school as log jogger gets case of the runs

Man ties laces on running shoe pre-jog. Photo by Shutterstock

A phantom plopper was literally caught with his pants down after New Jersey cops arrested a top education chief in the act of dropping the kids off... just not at the pool.

Thomas Tramaglini, a school superintendent at Kenilworth, was detained after investigators conducted a sting operation to snare the secret shitter on a high school running track.

The school was alerted after staff and coaches found fresh logs, dumped on a daily basis, on or near the area of the High School track/football field, the Holmdel Township Police Department said in a statement.

Kenilworth Public School said Tramaglini had asked for and was granted a paid leave of absence. Leaves can only be without pay in the face of indictments or tenure charges, as a matter of state law, the police added.

No explanation has been given as to why Tramaglini apparently did not use toilet facilities provided by the school, but El Reg guesses that when you've gotta go, you've gotta go.

It has not been the only incident of phantom poo flingers in recent years: lets not forget the case of the mystery golf-course crapper, known for his infamous hole in number twos. Or for the forecourt fouler caught by a Dublin shopkeeper.

And at the other end of the scatological spectrum was the case of the poo-hoarder: an ex-pat German Apple worker who stored three months' worth of his own excrement and urine in his luxury apartment has been given a year's worth of porridge by an Irish court.

And in an even more recent case, a suspected drug dealer refused to defecate for 46 days after being arrested and held on bail while the cops waited for him to excrete the alleged evidence. ®

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