Solution to tech bros' disgust of SF homeless people launched

Satire A radical augmented reality (AR) solution to the appalling problem of tech bros having to see people less fortunate than themselves on the streets of San Francisco has been launched.

CLEANR is the brainchild of SF resident Jon Adams and uses wearable tech to effectively delete undesirable people from your view.

Adams explains the tech behind it: "The built-in camera of the CLEANR® glasses scans the wearer's immediate view, identifies riff raff, and replaces them with more pleasant objects."

The system is customizable so homeless people can be discreetly removed from view with a variety of objects from a potted plant to a lemonade stand to a simple scribble. It even offers a Banksy artwork setting, which is sure to prove especially popular to cover up unsightly humans sleeping next to walls or in doorways.

Adams admits that the product was inspired by an open letter / call to arms posted earlier this week by myopic entrepreneur Justin Keller to San Francisco's mayor and chief of police complaining about the city's homeless problem.

Keller makes the entirely reasonable point that people who have money and are educated should not be subjected to those that aren't. He wrote: "The wealthy working people have earned their right to live in the city. They went out, got an education, work hard, and earned it. I shouldn't have to worry about being accosted. I shouldn't have to see the pain, struggle, and despair of homeless people to and from my way to work every day."

Keller prophesized that "there is going to be a revolution" and he was right: a tech revolution!

As with most problems in life, the best solution is to find a way to simply ignore it. And CLEANR has its sights set even higher than just vagrants: it also wants a piece of the snooty-rich market.

"Best of all, our software can identify not only riff raff, but people of any socioeconomic status that you deserve to not be subjected to," the announcement celebrates. "With a mobile app that syncs to your CLEANR® glasses, simply select the income level of people you prefer be left out of your life experience."

I just solved SF's homeless problem. You're welcome, @johnny5sf. https://t.co/3oHf3TzpF6

— Jon Adams™ (@citycyclops) February 18, 2016

It is a brave and bold solution to a truly terrible plight. While visionary tech entrepreneurs like Keller make the world a better place by inventing a remote control that works on your smart phone, it's exciting to see that it also has a use in making those visionaries' lives better as well. ®