Australian cops rush to stop 2AM murder of … a spider

Macho death threats, winsome shrieks both came from arachnophobic chap

Police from the Harbourside local area command in the Australian city of Sydney have 'fessed up to investigating the attempted murder of a spider.

As the command's Facebook page records, last weekend its officers “received numerous calls in relation to a violent domestic [incident], with reports of a woman screaming hysterically, a man yelling 'I’m going to kill you, your dead! Die Die!!', with the sounds of furniture being tossed around”.

“Numerous police cars” showed up and officers “began banging on the door.”

The Facebook post records the following conversation between police and the man inside the flat:

Police: “Where’s your wife”

Male: “I don’t have one”

Police: “Where's your girlfriend”

Male: “I don’t have one”

Police: “We had a report of a domestic and a woman screaming, where is she?”

Male: “I don’t know what you’re talking about I live alone”

Police: “Come on mate, people clearly heard you yelling you were going to kill her and furniture getting thrown around the unit. Come on mate, what have you done to her.”

Male: “It was a spider”

Police “Sorry??”

Male: “It was a spider, a really big one!!

Police: “What about the woman screaming?”

Male: “Yeah sorry that was me, I really really hate spiders”

The rest of the Facebook post also offers some chucklesome insights into life in some of the more genteel parts of Sydney, including a drunk injured while trying to urinate and a jealous rage that led to mass stabbing of furniture and bulk potplant breakage. ®

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