Ant-Man: Big ideas, small payoff

Or how the Marvel universe has jumped the SharkMan


As usual, the technology and the pseudo-science appear almost plausible at the beginning before the explanation got increasingly rushed and mumbled before finally – everyone gives up. Stop thinking and look at that explosion!

Basically, old genius duffer Dr Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) has figured out how to reduce the space between atoms so things can get really, really small, really quickly.

When small, they are of course much denser and that means that, y'know, when you are a person, you still have all your man-sized strength but in a much smaller space which means ... more strength ...? Stop thinking and look at that explosion!

Of course the tricky part is when it comes to "organic material," i.e., living things. For that, the super secret is that it has to be contained within some kind of suit.

And that's why it took Dr Pym's protégé turned assholé Darren Cross (Corey Stoll) so long to figure out how to shrink people, as well as tables, chairs, and super-soldier laser-firing invisi-suits.

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For someone who is smart enough to figure out how to shrink things, you would imagine the concept of containing something within a non-organic suit would have come fairly early on in the process, but hey.

And we swear to god that Michael Douglas purposefully mumbled the explanation, glad to have got the words out quickly so he could get on with the film.

Of course, all of this logic is then thrown out right at the end of the film when Ant-Man (Rudd) is suddenly given the Ant-Man equivalent of a blue pill and a red pill in blunt ninja stars that can shrink or explode (not that kind of explode) whatever they hit.

Which makes you wonder why they went to so much trouble in the whole rest of the movie – just chuck a couple of these about and you're done.

Stop thinking and look at that explosion!

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