Parliament face-sit-in to spark mass debate on UK's stiff smut stance

The august members of Blighty's Parliament may have a rather unusual sight to see on Friday: glancing out of their office windows, they could cop an eyeful of pro-porn protesters staging a graphic demonstration of their ire.

The rally, planned for 12pm GMT at the Old Palace Yard, concerns the Audiovisual Media Services Regulations 2014 that came into force at the start of the month. They state that UK producers of adult material that's streamed over the internet must abide by the same rules applied to porn sold on DVDs.

The banned acts include "the infliction of pain or acts which may cause lasting physical harm, whether real or (in a sexual context) simulated," female ejaculation, water sports, violent penetration, and abusive language. Also banned are the "life-threatening" practices – think strangulation, fisting, and face-sitting.

To protest against the new rules, a group plans to stage the largest gathering of face-sitting the world has ever seen. The group, operating under the hashtag pornprotest, asked Guinness Book of World Records staff to be on hand to record the event, but the title declined.

Protesters will also simulate sex en masse, lead off a roaring chorus of Monty Python's classic tune "Sit on my face and tell me that you love me," and may add in a few extra verses of their own.

“Pornography is the canary in the coal mine of free speech: it is the first freedom to die. If this assault on liberty is allowed to go unchallenged, other freedoms will fall as a consequence,” obscenity lawyer Myles Jackman told London 24.

The event has been timed to coincide with a new motion put forward by Liberal Democrat MP Julian Huppert to annul the new law. The legislation will be debated on Friday but is unlikely to garner much support. ®