Special iPhone trousers will ease Apple into the fashion world

No more bendy phondleslab problem

Fashion labels are considering fitting extra large pockets into their jeans to allow on-trend fanbois and gurlz to trouser the supersized Apple iPhone 6 Plus.

Apple has been pushing one clear message recently: bigger is better. Whether it be rumours of an upcoming 12.9-inch iPad Air 2 or the larger iPhone, Tim Cook seems determined to put a bulge in your trousers.

Now the fashion world has agreed to let him.

A number of rag makers have said they are working on solutions to the new-fangled problem of how to squeeze a large phone into a small pocket.

The problem is particularly acute for the long-suffering women of the western world, who must battle the patriarchy's insistence on "small front pockets" every time they try to wodge a mobe into their strides.

Whitney Neary, who works as a designer for Lee Jeans, said she started thinking about front pockets as soon as the iPhone 6 was announced.

"It’s something that we always are considering, in terms of the functionality of our garments," she insisted. "Of course, we’re always going to make sure that we’re going for something that’s flattering for the consumer...but we’re always thinking about how she wears the garment, what occasion she’s wearing the jeans for and what she needs to just make them work for her everyday life.”

Levi's Head of Global Design, Jonathan Cheung, added: "Without being iPhone 6-specific, our mantra, like [that of Steve Jobs], will always be to design products that make people’s lives a little better.”

Any extra pocket space might even help ventilate the phone, perhaps staving off the risk of the iPhone 6 Plus bending under the combined onslaught of too-skinny trews and the furnace-like heat of a fanboi's attention-starved nether regions.

Of course, you could whop another phablet down your trousers too, but that would probably be missing the point. Apple is no longer just a tech firm, remember, it's a fashion brand. And no cool kid wants to be seen with the wrong sort of swelling in their slacks.

We have, as marketing peeps would have it, "reached out" to the cream of British fashion (by which we mean Marks & Spencer and Primark) to see if they are planning to increase their pocket size, but have not yet received an answer. ®




Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019