'I'll dance on their graves at 1 MILLION operations per second'
Comments of the week: The good, the bad and the frankly laughable
CoTW Welcome to The Register's new Comments of the Week feature. Here you'll find the best – and worst – of the stuff written below the line by El Reg's bafflingly diverse field of commentards. Just remember: we love you all. Even when your fellow commentards don't.
The commentard who wins the “most popular” award this week is corestore, with his not-entirely-original reference to George Orwell, posted on our story about a Reg scribe being a potential terrorist:
'1984' was a WARNING. Not a bloody INSTRUCTION MANUAL.
Good use of caps there, corestore, although for the authentic Register capitalisation experience we'd have all-caps'd “not” as well. 9/10.
Receiving your virtual buckets of ordure this week is the always-prolific Anonymous Coward, who seems to have chosen the faceless handle wisely in this instance. Posting on the same comments thread as above, in response to the strange non sequitur “collective delusion – a.k.a. Religion”, he unwisely wrote:
Fixed it for you
At the time of writing more than 70 of you felt this deserved a good thumping of the downward thumb. Perhaps the more Richard Dawkins-oriented Reg commentards will try and redress the balance?
Meanwhile the news came out that Kate Bush utterly abhors the use of iPhones* at her gigs. Stuart Halliday came up with a frankly ingenious idea...
Kate should put up some Infrared lights on stage. The audience won't see them. But all the cameras will! :)
Smart thinking, there, Stuart. 58 of your fellow commentards clearly agree with you.
Sadly, for yet another Anonymous Coward, a whopping 44 of you disagreed with a fairly non-offensive counter-contention about the Kate Bush iPhone whopper:
If a band/singer/"artist" can't get past someone holding a phone, in the audience, even the entire audience holding a phone, then they seriously need to have a word with themselves.
Fans have been jumping on stage, stage diving, etc etc for generations, throwing things from the crowd, shouting. But "artists" can't deal with someone holding up a 5 inch square, with a bit of light on it? Despite all the other lights in the venue?
Pull the other one, it's got bells on.
In other news comments that made us laugh, the appropriately-monikered Cloud 9 weighed in on the mildly unbelievable news that enterprise storage outfit Atlantis Computing had invented "teleportable" storage. His last line is, we think, the best one here:
Beam me up .. USXy storage
Now we're cooking and SDS is looking hot!
Personally, if the economics work out for this model and the features are there - then we only have to deal with the FUD canons that are aimed at the exec level before the war against the monolithic status-quo peddlers is won.
After I've spent a day or so rolling around naked in all the dollar bills I've saved, I'll dance on their graves at 1,000,000 ops a second.
And finally, while not strictly a comment, El Reg's occasional Twitter caption comp** prompted a variety of entries:
Afternoon caption comp. What's happening here? Best answer makes it into Comment of the Week. Closes at 1545BST. pic.twitter.com/8WxKSlBQFh— The Register (@ElReg) August 22, 2014
In our Friday-skewed judgment, this was the best entry...
@ElReg "That was the last DROP TABLE for the bank's database... my work here is done"— Jimmy_Houdelath (@JimXHou) August 22, 2014
Want to enter next time? Just follow @TheRegister and/or @ElReg. For those asking the obvious question, @TheRegister is headlines and important news, while @ElReg tweets more of a snarky take on stuff happening in the tech - and non-tech - world.
That's it until next week, folks. Happy commentarding! ®
* Other mobes are available.
** for which we pick a random image from the library. This week's pic happened to come from our most excellent MONOPOLY CRAWL mobile signal-cum-beverage flavour verification exercise, which you can sample in all its glory here.