Dear Reg: What is a 'Lag' and a 'Jacksey'?

It's Thursday, and we could all do with a bit of light relief at the end of the week, so here is some, in the form of an entertaining email which landed in my inbox earlier this week:

To L. Haines,

What is a "Lag" ?and what is Jacksey" [sic] ? (article seen on Google TODAY!)

Would you be speaking SO RUDELY about a person if NOT a prisoner??

It just shows media/journalist's [sic] prejudice against those incarcerated.

I suppose a journalist such as you will go as far as supporting your peer's [sic] who phone hack ....anything for a good story eh??

Regards
Cecilia

I assume Cecilia is referring to this story, entitled "Lag caught with phone charger up jacksie", and to address her points in order:

• A "Lag" is the period of time between the publication of a story (in this case 2007) and it appearing TODAY! on Google. A "Jacksey" is defined as "a knitted upper-body garment made from the hair of a male donkey".
• Yes, we're as equally rude about anyone, regardless of sex, race, colour or creed, or indeed current incarceration status. For proof, try this jacksie shocker or this timeless classic.
• Hacks hacking mobes is very naughty. Mobes up jacksies is hackery heaven, as are mobes up any orifice. As you say, anything for a good story. ®