Facebook's CHAIR sat on by 1 billion people ... bitch

It's official: Facebook is like a chair. Or a plane. Or a nation. And it's apparently especially true now that the dominant social network has passed the 1 billion user mark.

CEO Mark Zuckerberg said on the site today that it was "very special" for him to be celebrating having so many people connecting together on his website.

The 28-year-old billionaire who co-founded the network in his Harvard dorm in 2004 when he famously described the people entering their details into the site back then as "dumb fucks" is no longer - publicly, at least - dubbing Facebookers as chumps for handing over so much personal data.

And the company's own strategy boutique has now got in on the act by producing a video-ad that frankly is batshit crazy.

While Google might like to describe its offering as a "platform", Facebook goes one better than that because it is a chair.

"Anyone can sit on a chair," a soothing female voice informs us. Essentially, that is why "Facebook is like a chair".

The analogy is pushed to the limits and widened out to include comparing Facebook to planes, a dance floor, the game of basketball and even a great nation.

In fact the ad is playing on a conceit previously floated by Zuck, who has said that the network was a bit like the world's third biggest country.

The copper-haired boss of Facebook has been pressing the flesh in Russia this week and – quelle surprise – the advert will now be heavily trailed there.

The social network's ad campaign will also run in 12 other countries where the company is either looking to expand its userbase, or else presumably attempt to charm its more mature markets. So Brazil, France, Germany, India, Japan the UK and the US are among the nations who will see the commercial air on their telly screens.

Zuckerberg felt it was necessary to explain why Facebook needed an advert right now, without once mentioning Wall Street or the outfit's flailing shares.

For the first time in our history, we've made a brand video to express what our place is on this earth. We believe that the need to open up and connect is what makes us human. It's what brings us together. It's what brings meaning to our lives.

He goes on to say that Facebook is a member of a special club that's all about connection. Hence, the weird obsession with chairs. Vulture Central can't help but ask: Can we please have some of what you're smoking, Zuck? ®