Santa's Xmas Caper

Bad Santa

There are some things I like about this game but that doesn’t make it good. Let me make it clear: I AM NOT SAYING THIS IS A GOOD GAME. But even as a veggie of 20 years standing, I chuckle at turkey drumstick helicopters.

The moon look's as depressed as I feel playing this festive tosh

Over seven levels - because, seriously, who wants more than seven levels of Christmassy torment? - I play a snowball-throwing substitute Santa. My supposed helpers, those pesky Elves, have decided to start a Christmas rebellion - “Occupy Lapland”, anyone? - and they have turned Christmas against me!

Before I can get back to Mrs Santa for some Christmas Pie I am going to have to swallow a lot of Christmas clichés.

Run, fat boy, run

Hopping over presents while avoiding sinister bloated perfume bottles and strange evil jellies, I am mesmerised by the complete lack of coherence in level design or even a sense of where this game is going.

The graphics could, loosely, be defined as cute but on closer inspection are actually quite menacing. I suspect these moons with Me Gusta faces will swim before me in the work Christmas party punch.

'I sense your presents'

I almost have no control of my movement as my stunted Santa decides to miss jumps and fall prey to an otherworldly and malevolent gravitational pull.

I think my reward on finishing Santa's Xmas Caper is an apocalyptic portent of the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come:

“Congratulations you have completed the game. Game over.” ®

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