Craigslist supervillain seeks henchmen
'Goons. Hired goons.'
Much as we love our
belittling, thankless toil rewarding career at the Reg, we have from time to time mused that it would be good to find a vocation in which we could fully express our suppressed violent side. And so it is that today we find ourselves tempted by this Craigslist ad, apparently placed by authentic supervillain Jacque (The Zapper) Zerapi, who is in need of tidy sorts to form a 30-strong gang of henchmen.
The toughs are required for a "moderately-sized supervillain organisation with large expansion potential", and "must be willing to learn new skills, including but not limited to operation of specialised 'lightning guns'". Qualities that will help you along the recruitment process but are not pre-requisite include "flexible moral code" and "being a corrupt government official". An excellent career-change for many who feel they've achieved all they can in their present and somewhat restrictive roles, then, although the starting salary of £20,000 may deter even the casually avaricious.
We are naturally pleased to note that Mr Zerapi is happy to accept "femmes fatales" as well as the usual male thugs. He does go on to say that a "right-hand-man" position is frequently available to the right candidate, but we assume this is a momentary lapse in gender neutrality, perhaps occurring when the fantastical crimelord was distracted by the screaming coming from his luxury shark tank.
If you have ever felt you'd be fulfilled by strapping a secret agent to a table of doom whilst grinning maniacally, do apply and let us know how you get on. Obviously we shan't be throwing our own hench-hat into the ring, because
the boss is watching we are completely content in our present position. ®