Lesbians turn on lesbians in battle of Lesbos

Residents on the Greek island of Lesbos have declared that they alone have the right to call themselves lesbians, and yesterday launched a legal action against the Greek Gay and Lesbian Union (Olke) designed to wrest back control of the word from aficionados of Sapphic luuurv.

Local activist Dimitris Lambrou states in his complaint that the "seizure" of the island's name is responsible for the "psychological and moral rape" of true lesbians, and reckons the case will come before an Athens court in June.

Olke spokesperson Evangelia Vlam counterattacked with: "This affair is totally ridiculous. But if we are summoned by the courts, we will be heard."

Agreed. We at El Reg would like to suggest a compromise: Greek lesbians in future call themselves Sapphists; True lesbians call themselves Mytilenians, after the capital Mytilene - the name commonly used in Greece for the name of the whole island; and extra-Grecian lesbians beyond the reach of the country's legal system continue to use lesbian with gay abandon except when holidaying on Mytilene's popular lesbian Sapphic holiday resort of Eressos. Sorted. ®