Suicidal moose descends on Alaska
'Moose can fly. Just not very well'
You might say it was raining cats and moose. Minus the cats.
On February 2, as reported by Anchorage Daily News, a swing-shift state trooper named Howard Peterson was motoring down the Seward Highway when he was nearly killed by a falling moose.
At first, he thought the moose was a rock that looked like a moose. But the moose didn't bounce, and he realized it was indeed a moose. A dead moose. The moose had fallen 150 feet or more, which is a long way for a moose to fall.
Then the moose-spotter snapped some photos of the moose he spotted. And he called for some moose clean-up.
After this moose-related call, the moose-spotter wondered if the moose had jumped. "How would you say it? Moose-icide? He probably thought he was the only moose, with all those sheep around," the moose-spotter said.
Then the moose-spotter changed his mind about the moose. Some moose-spooking wind must have spooked the moose, the moose-spotter said. Or maybe the moose misstepped.
Speaking to the moose-happy Daily News, a moose expert confirmed that moose don't do moose-icide. "I'm sure the moose didn't jump," the moose expert said. "[Moose] occasionally have bad days like the rest of us. [Moose] slip and fall. Maybe [the moose] was reaching for a branch and the snow just gave way."
Nonetheless, the moose-spotter marveled at the moose he spotted. "[Moose] can fly and [moose] can land," he said. "Just not very well."
Meanwhile, The Reg now knows what it feels like to be trapped in the credits of a Monty Python movie. ®
Miss Taylor's Mooses by Hengst Douglas-Home
Sponsored: Becoming a Pragmatic Security Leader