Kung-fu monks can kick ass, but they can't reincarnate

Everyone's favourite nutty ex-astronaut is back in the news, having apologised to her erstwhile rival for the affections of a fellow astronaut "for having frightened her in any way". Lisa Nowak may be preparing a defense of temporary insanity for her upcoming trial over her alleged 11,600-brontosaurus, nappy-clad cross-country assault attempt. You questioned her preparations, drooled (bizarrely) over her mug shot and practised your songwriting skills:

What self respecting American goes on a cross country kidnapping/murder attempt & doesn't use a gun? Oh course she's crazy judge, just give her probation & call it a day.

David Blair

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If this isn't classed as "Conduct unbecoming of an officer" then I'm going to join NASA and spend the entire time absolutely plastered, dressed up in a space suit, shouting incomprehensible gibberish at passers by, all the while pointing up at the sky with a frightened look on my face.

And I'll do it all with complete impunity damnit!

Edward Pearson

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Edward, I have the feeling that your plan might not be bonkers enough. You might have to say "Wibble" now and then with a pair of pants on your head and two pencils up your noise. Then you might just get away with it.

Robert McCracken

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Who cares if she's crazy and in a poopy diaper, I'd still do her!

henry castro

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Asked a girl what she wanted to be

She said baby, can't you see

I wanna get even, and be real happy

I’m driving down to Florida wear’n a nappy.

Baby I wont wipe my ass

When I have to stop for gas

Baby I wont wipe my ass

And maybe I'll love you

I told the judge that my butt is real sore

He said baby, its from what you wore

Driving to Orlando is all very OK

But you should have stopped and gone Pott-a

Baby I wont wipe my ass

When I have to stop for gas

Baby I wont wipe my ass

And maybe I'll love you

Poop Poop'm Poop Poop yeah

Baby I wont wipe my ass

When I have to stop for gas

Baby I wont wipe my ass

And maybe I'll love you

I told that girl to get out of her car

When she said listen babe stay back real far

I got no lover and it's breaking my heart

But I'm wearing diapers and I got to fart

Baby I wont wipe my ass

When I have to stop for gas

Baby I wont wipe my ass

And maybe I'll love you

Poop Poop'm Poop Poop yeah

Poop Poop'm Poop Poop yeah

Poop Poop'm Poop Poop yeah

Poop Poop'm Poop Poop yeah

Poop Poop'm Poop Poop yeah

Patrick McKee

Catchy. But please stop. You'll have us all singing it down at the boozer in five minutes. ®