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Self-combusting toilets menace Japan

Lizard Alliance fires up electric bidet accessory

RoTM We're not sure if "Japan's leading toilet manufacturer" Toto builds city centre cyberloos for the UK market, but its domestic products have evidently fallen under the control of the Lizard Alliance.

According to the BBC, the company is offering free repairs to no less than 180,000 Z-series bogs after some of them spontaneously combusted. The Z-series apparently features pulsating massage spray, power dryer, "tornado wash" flush, and an automatic lid.

It also boasts an "electric bidet accessory" which on three occassions has caught fire, potentially threatening a nasty case of "Machine Uprising Roast Arse". Mercifully, the Z-series failed to fully exploit its new-found offensive capability, since the crappers were unoccupied at the time of the incendiary incidents.

A Toto spokesman confirmed: "Fortunately, nobody was using the toilets when the fire broke out and there were no injuries."

neoLuddite Resistance Army members outside Japan need not worry unduly about this latest evidence of The Rise of the Machines - the Z series is not exported. Japanese cadre members are advised to take the usual precautions - pulse plasma laser rifle and asbestos underpants. ®

Bootnote

A battlefield citation to NRA member Paul Gomme for the Z-series reconnaissance.

The Rise of the Machines™

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