Stupidity reigns, except in sunny Islington

And swastikas pop up all over the place

Letters There were probably some interesting news stories this week, but judging from the volume of mail we received, the most important thing that happened in the last seven days was a collapse in Reg hack intelligence.

Yes, we have been pounded as being daft for running a story about a faux meteor hit, and for our inability to multiply eight by three.

Still, we can't bring ourselves to start the letters round-up off on such a lowbrow note, so we'll begin with the meeting, last week, of ICANN and the National Telecommunications and Information Administration to decide the future of the internet.

As with the meteor and the BBC's weather reports, you think we got this one wrong. Although in this case, it is possible that many of the writers got as far as the headline, and decided they didn't need to read the rest of the article:

"Not one of the 11 panel members, nor any of the 22 people that spoke during the meeting, had anything but English as their first language" Yeah? So what. Got the result didn't it. Incremental reforms in the right direction are almost always more effective and positive gov't actions than "Big Bang" reforms (just Google "endowments or pensions mis-selling" if you don't believe me, or maybe "NPfIT"!). If people had been there speaking Russian, Mandarin or Swahili as a first language would we have gotten anything else as a result? Almost certainly not, as I'm sure they wouldn't have objected and asked for *more* American control even knowing their own gov'ts and almost every multi-lateral institution would certainly bollox it up worse than ICANN under the DoC has. And the "rare non-US contributors"? Well, we were told of a Canadian and a British person and Paul Twomey is Australian; that's almost 14% of the total-- not sure what a commonly agreed definition of "rare" is but this seems a bit hyperbolic.


I suppose you'd rather see Esperanto used as the universal language? I mean, let's face it, English may be a horrid amalgam, and certainly not everyone speaks it as a primary language, but in this day and age it has if nothing else by accident become our standin for a universal language. People involved in global business learn English as a secondary language. That's just the way it is. There is no good reason for it, but to complain about it is about as useful as complaining that scientists use the metric system. As Microsoft has proven, it's not always about being the best, but just about getting the most users.

Sincerely, Arah Leonard

"[M]indlessly patriotic electorate"? It's nice to know that b.s. smells the same on both sides of the ocean.


Your informative article could have made it's white-man-guilt points without nearly so much repetition. Your point was made by paragraphfour, reached minor hyperbole stage in paragraph six, and was entirely overdone by mention in the last four paragraphs. I understand that as a Register journalist, you're obligated to cover everything with a sarcastic and jaded viewpoint, but a little levity & humour are usually included as well.

I also understand that a healthy amount of America-bashing is obligatory for all journalists on this side of the pond, but perhaps you could apply a bit of thought when doing so? Otherwise you're bound to allude to "why landowners or the educated classes shouldn't be given more votes than the masses" in the same article where you dismiss nearly 300 million people as "a mindlessly patriotic electorate".


Dear Kieren,

Fu*ck you for calling me part of a mindlessly patriotic electorate.


Short, sweet, and to the point.

Good article, with one exception - the jealous cheapshot at the end.

"and it then has to sell that decision to a mindlessly patriotic electorate"

As opposed to the mindlessly unpatriotic 'stateless multicultural robots' of Europe, or the mindlessly electorally-disabled who inhabit the worlds kleptocracies, dictatorships and socialist mommy-states (see the UN for a directory)?

Maybe France will invent something useful in the future, and the EU will rise again from the ashes. More likely Europe will surrender to Islamic Fascism and require rescuing by the US. Again.

Good luck on that. David

Repeat after us: "Just because they aren't American, doesn't mean they are jealous of our freedom...they are not jealous of our freedom..."

Back to that meteor hit. We ought to point out that we did suggest this was likely to be a fake, although we'll admit to a touch of wishful thinking. Here is a representative sample of the many, many, many (many, many etc.,) emails we received:

Lucy "Dudette:

You apparently have no engineering thought process installed in your personal RAM! Points: 1. Speed of "presumed" metor far too slow as actual "space debris" flies about from several 1000 MPH to 100's MPS (miles per hour/miles per second) 2. Kinetic energy released at impact would equal at minimum a mini--nuke up to thousands of thermo-nukes simultaneously. 3. Two guys in a Nissan, or whatever pick'em up, could in no way survive such a blast as depicted. 4. That your mind could even consider such a portrayal of "reality" as potential reality says volumes about your lack of knowledge, and therefore your susceptibility to advertising scams.

Sorry Babe, but you are just plain and simple stupid: stu·pid Audio pronunciation of "stupid" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (stpd, sty-) adj. stu·pid·er, stu·pid·est 1. Slow to learn or understand; obtuse. 2. Tending to make poor decisions or careless mistakes. 3. Marked by a lack of intelligence or care; foolish or careless: a stupid mistake. 4. Dazed, stunned, or stupefied. 5. Pointless; worthless: a stupid job.


We applaud this writer for the stunning personal attack, but we must note that his letter is far too coherent to make it to the hallowed halls of Flame of The Week. Sorry, Ed.

Falling for a Toyota truck commercial? LOLOLOLOLOL


And our particular favourite:

If you believed that was a real video then I have a business proposition that I think you'll like:

My late husband was very wealthy we have a lot of properties including Shares and houses.After the death of my husband,I made up my mind to travel abroad to leave the rest of my life and continue to do the work of God as a missionary.Icalled our lawyer and I instructed him to sell all my husbands properties and shares to enable me raise some money to conitue my mission.The lawyer sold the Shares and some of the properties and I was able raise the sum of $28.3m(Two eight million,three hundred thousand US Dollars)which I depositedwith a Security Company for safe keeping awaiting collection for the work of God. Presently,all the documents concerning the consignments are with my lawyer.Nowthat my sickness has gone to this stage,I am scared and I want the fund to be used for the work of God all over the world.

I have prayed and I told God to direct me to an honest christan who will receive this fund and utilise it for things that will glorify the name of God.After my prayers,I searched the christain site in the internet,I found your email address and I decided to contact you.Please if you are interested in using this fund for the work of God,please send to me your full names,addressand telephone numbers to enable me give it to my lawyer for immediate arrangementwith the security company on how the consignments that contained the fund will be delivered to you for the work of God as I have the vision from the lord. I await your urgent reply and remaim blessed in Jesus Name. Thanks and God bless you. Mrs. kadijat jubril.

Sounds fabulous, Kadijat. We'll be in touch.

Next, the weather:

Are you sure that the beeb can't figure out how many hours to cover for a 24 hour forecast? Clearly you figured out that the first box shows the weather between 2200 and 0100, but then let logic abandon you when deciding that last box only referred to weather at exactly 1900. Perhaps, like all the other boxes, it refers to the 3-hour period following that time. That would be logical, right?

Please connect your brain before bad mouthing someone on a respectable news site in future - Either that or get a job at a tabloid - I understand they like that kind of lowest-common-denominator thinking

Yours in defence of considered thought,

Sandy Scott

Er, while conceding the mathematical point, we'd like to point out that we are a tabloid...

Mildly sorry to be such a pedant, but that makes 8x 3-hour prediction windows, or 24 hours. If they'd shown a forecast for 22:00 Friday as Kirk and your good self seem to imply that they should, it'd've been a 27-hour forecast. Please don't ridicule them for something they actually get right, or they'll stop trying to produce so many amusing weather predictions.


24-hours is exactly what is shown on that BBC chart. Each section is 3 hours long, so starting at 22:00 and going up in 3 hour increments makes the final one 19:00 the next day, which takes you up to the indescribably short moment before 22:00. If the last one had been 22:00 the forecast it would have been for 27 hours.

Tsk - some people are just desperate to find mistakes where none exist. :-)


Moving on.

The small town of Maasmechelen in Belgium has decided to redesign a fountain in the town square after Google Earth revealed that it was made in a swastika shape. We're not quite sure how they could have missed that one from the ground, but there you go. Still, some of you wrote in in defense of the poor, innocent fountain:

It is a shame that a 3,000 year old symbol, representing good has been hijacked by a group representing hate.

As a young child, I associated the symbol with the Nazis - because I was taught that. I had no idea of its use prior to that. So you can imagine my shock when I saw the symbol in my own home, decorating our home shrine.

My mother explained that the symbol was holy, representing God. As such, human beings could not corrupt it no matter how hard they tried. In my mother's eyes, the Nazis were unwittingly using a symbol of God, despite their evil actions. This irony has always struck me.

The red cross is a symbol of great good. The cross of St George, representing England is a source of national pride. However, when I was growing up, the flag represented the BNP - who don't want coloured people in "their" country.

In eastern philosophies, it is a person's actions that define them - the law of Karma (each action and every action has a consequence). So a person is responsible for what they think and what they do. This remains true even if the person doesn't believe it. Further more, a person reaps the consequences - whether they like it or not.

Expunging a symbol therefore doesn't make problems go away.


If a water works makes you interested, take a look on Google Earth for the "slotervaart" hospital. ( 52°20'53.45"N , 4°49'33.78"E). it seems that no-one cares, because even the maps in the hospital show the building as a swastika, but no-one comments. Even the street maps of Amsterdam show this building as a swastika.

I wonder if the city council will act as the belgian guy's

best regards,


It seems unlikely, given the relative costs of a hospital and a fountain...

Got another building for you... in the States!

No less... on a Naval installation outside of San Diego!

Yes, the building is actually four buildings with a very small courtyard between them, but it's definitely swastika-designed!

Please don't link from my site, if at all possible >.<;;

Cheers, and happy hunting! -Brian

And that's all for today. Back with more on Friday. ®

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