Stripper flogs breast implant on eBay

Former stripper Tawny Peaks has jumped nimbly on the ridiculous eBay auction bandwagon by offering one of her silicone breast implants to a mam-crazed public.

Peaks' 69-HH peaks made the news in 1998 when she was accused of assaulting a man at a bachelor party with her überjubs. The victim claimed to have suffered whiplash injury after copping a faceful of flying dug. Despite the claimant's assertion that they were "like two cement blocks", the People's Court later rejected the suit after former NY Mayor Ed Koch ruled the assets soft and therefore non-lethal.

Tawny's tits returned to something approaching normality in 1999 when she had the implants removed. She now describes herself as a "happily married homemaker and mother of three living in the Detroit area".

Back on eBay, meanwhile, the bidding has reached a frankly preposterous $10,201.00, with a couple of days left to run. For his or her money, the winning bidder will get a signed implant, a "picture of Tawny Peaks signing the implant" and "an autographed copy of the Court Documented Complaint".

Terrific. We suspect that Golden Palace Casino is as we speak closely monitoring the situation with a view to getting a handful of Ms Peak's artificial mam. The online gambling outfit already owns the now-legendary Virgin Mary in a toasted cheese sandwich, for which it forked out $28,000 (£15,000), as well as a haunted walking cane bought for $65,000 USD (£35,000), a child's bumper sticker obtained for $10,700 (£5,700), and a Weeping Jesus Rock snapped up for $2,550 (£1,300). It recently stuck its logo on a Glaswegian lass's 42GG breasts after renting the space for a modest £422. ®

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