Much-maligned BT suffers over ADSL

I'm going to start a campaign to have an annual holiday in honour of BT. I've already drafted an email to the Queen and the PM and anyone else I can think of who might hold some sway in the matter. A day in June would be good -- because that would coincide with the time BT actually admitted it was going to roll out ADSL in the UK. According to today's FT, BT's financial director Robert Brace, told a conference as much yesterday, but it only confirms what has already been said over the last couple of weeks. Indeed, people have been so moved by BT's monumental decision I can confirm that in at least one small village in rural Hampshire they're already getting out the bunting from last week's church fete to hold a street party in honour of the telco. Still, we should all be grateful. BT only started trialing the service five years ago. They've worked a small miracle to get it ready in time before it becomes obsolete. Apparently, BT is happy with the quality of the service but delayed introducing it because the of "internal tensions". "It has not decided which division within the company will be responsible for the service and it is concerned about cannibalising its existing leased line and ISDN (integrated services digital network) offerings," wrote the FT. How thoughtful of BT. The company has suffered unimaginable inner turmoil on our behalf just to make sure it has the right internal structure in place to handle ADSL. How anyone can accuse it of sitting on its hands and doing sweet FA while the UK is denied access to such an important technology is beyond me. Getting your internal tensions sorted is a tricky business. And if I hear one more word said about BT only doing this because it now feels under pressure from the cable companies -- well, I'm going to get very cross. It's just not true, do you hear! Internal tensions -- that's what it was about. Ha! And what about all those people who had a go at BT for dawdling -- I bet they're not best pleased with themselves now. I bet they wish they'd never said all those horrid things about poor old Beetsy Teetsy. You see, BT was hurting on the inside but wanted to protect us from its anguish. It put a brave face on things and continued to act as if nothing was wrong. Such bravery. Such dedication. Such selfless devotion and courage. That is why we should set aside one day a year to celebrate BT -- just so that we can all remember just how really, really, really lucky we are... ®