Top stories

BOFH: We know where the bodies are buried

Episode 6You're here to audit us? Hi! Fancy a coffee?

LESTER gets ready to trundle: The Register's beer-bot has a name

And garners industry attention

There is no perceived IT generation gap: Young people really are thick

Something for the Weekend, Sir?Grumble grumble where's me suet pudding in Bovril etc

Tech bribes: What's the WORST one you've ever been offered?

Suitcase full of money
Storage

Dell cloudy software limb Pivotal IPOs today

Still firmly in Dell Technologies' clutches
20 Apr 13:52
Policy

Creaky NHS digital infrastructure risks holding back gene boffinry, say MPs

Ask for clear budgets, better training and yup, public engagement
20 Apr 13:21
Personal Tech

UK mobile operator Three: MMS? Oh no you don't

Ups charges for picture-takers, just in time for your parents' hols
27 Comments
20 Apr 12:08
Storage

And so it begins: Veritas lays off UK workers

At least 100 out, R&D hit hardest – sources
20 Apr 11:41
Policy

Government requests for Microsoft data reach all-time low

Just 23k requests in first half of 2017
20 Apr 10:59
Policy

EU under pressure to slap non-compliance notice on Google over pay-to-play 'remedy'

Comparison shopping websites won't use Chocolate Factory fix
16 Comments
20 Apr 10:13

Don't miss Nominet drains mug of tea, leans back, calmly explains how to make Whois GDPR-compliant

Personal Tech

LESTER gets ready to trundle: The Register's beer-bot has a name

And garners industry attention
26 Comments
20 Apr 09:44
BOFH

BOFH: We know where the bodies are buried

Episode 6You're here to audit us? Hi! Fancy a coffee?
38 Comments
20 Apr 09:09
Bootnotes

Tech bribes: What's the WORST one you've ever been offered?

Bros gig, smellies, branded socks... Here are our tales. Tell us yours
109 Comments
20 Apr 08:41
Bootnotes

There is no perceived IT generation gap: Young people really are thick

Something for the Weekend, Sir?Grumble grumble where's me suet pudding in Bovril etc
161 Comments
20 Apr 08:05
DevOps
image of Apple and hard drive

Apple unleashes FoundationDB as an open source project

Secretive company talks up the need for open community
20 Apr 07:27
Business
A fiber optic cable

CEO insisted his email was on server that had been offline for years

ON-CALLWhen the dotcom bubble burst, the surviving techies learned the true meaning of just-in-time training
63 Comments
20 Apr 06:57
Policy
US/China conflict

ZTE to USA: Sure, ban us, but you cannot afford such victories

We’ve done everything you asked - even implemented SAP - pleads Chinese vendor
35 Comments
20 Apr 06:32
Science

Here's another headline where NASA is dragged through the mud for cheap Mars wise cracks

PicOh no, wait, that is the news. Except the cheap part
22 Comments
20 Apr 06:02
Software

Oracle pledges annual Solaris updates for you to install each summer

And a plan to have users of Sun hardware upgrade if they want Solaris 11.4 and proper patches
20 Apr 03:08
Business

Will Dell eat VMware? Or will Carl Icahn snack on Dell? And where does Uber fit in? Yes, Uber!

Let’s get up to date on the crazy world of reverse mergers
20 Apr 02:16
Business

Qual-gone: 1,200+ axed from Snapdragon, Centriq giant Qualcomm

Chip designer pushes hundreds out the door in cost-cutting drive
20 Apr 00:25
Security

Oracle whips out the swatter, squishes 254 security bugs in its gear

Java fixes lobbed out, Spectre Solaris patches issued
19 Apr 22:07
Networks

Google kills off domain fronting – so secure comms just got tougher

Cloud tech tweaks end anti-censorship workaround
19 Apr 22:01
Networks

Nominet drains mug of tea, leans back, calmly explains how to make Whois GDPR-compliant

.UK registry not entirely sure what all the fuss is about
28 Comments
19 Apr 20:39
Science

Bloke fruit flies enjoy ejaculating, turn to booze when starved of sexy times

Closer to human beings than previously thought, clearly
39 Comments
19 Apr 20:01
Business

Facebook puts 1.5bn users on a boat from Ireland to California

Social media giant continues its loving embrace of GDPR privacy rules
42 Comments
19 Apr 19:14
Security
baratov

Yahoo! webmail! hacker! faces! nearly! eight! years! in! the! cooler!

Prosecutors ask judge to give Baratov 94 months for stealing accounts on behalf of FSB
12 Comments
19 Apr 18:25
Security
letters stuffed in a mailbox. Photo by SHutterstock

Eight months after Equifax megahack, some Brits are only just being notified

I'm fsck-ed off it took this long, rages affected Reg reader
14 Comments
19 Apr 16:39
Artificial Intelligence
Doctors in a busy hospital

Beware! Medical AI systems are easy targets for fraud and error

You can fake diagnoses with adversarial examples
14 Comments
19 Apr 16:00
Business

BBC extends Capita Audience Services contract to 25 years

Nothing can be said to be certain, except death, taxes and Auntie's Capita deals
42 Comments
19 Apr 15:31
Security

Millions of scraped public social net profiles left in open AWS S3 box

Poorly configured cloud buckets strike again – this time, Localbox fingered
12 Comments
19 Apr 15:00
Science

Musk: I want to retrieve rockets with big Falcon party balloons

NASA: Been there, done that
20 Comments
19 Apr 14:06
Business

Mad Leo tried to sack me over Autonomy, says top HP Inc beancounter

Court hears Catherine Lesjak recall vicious infighting over doomed $11bn buyout
31 Comments
19 Apr 13:06
Networks

BT pushes ahead with plans to switch off telephone network

Consultation next month following plan to shift Brits over to VoIP
165 Comments
19 Apr 12:14
Data Centre

Evolving elephants: Hortonworks trumpets its '3.0 vision' of global data management

CTO Scott Gnau on open source, partnerships and simplifying Hadoop
19 Apr 11:23
Science

SpaceX finally Falcon flings NASA's TESS into orbit

Booster hurls probe, has nice sit-down on boat in the Atlantic
35 Comments
19 Apr 10:48
Science

Pyro-brainiacs set new record with waste-heat-into-electricity study

Spark off questions from burny laptop, melty server and hot data centre havers
28 Comments
19 Apr 09:37
Policy

How 'parasitic' Google's 'We're journalists!' court defence was stamped into oblivion

CommentHigh Court judge put boot into ad tech firm
65 Comments
19 Apr 09:11
Personal Tech

Motorola Z2 Force: This one's for the butterfingered Android lovers

'Shatterproof', Mod-tastic, speedier stock Android – there's lots to like
59 Comments
19 Apr 08:39
Security

Cutting custody snaps too costly for cash-strapped cops – UK.gov

Home Office admits national and local databases don't talk to each other, so everything is manual
41 Comments
19 Apr 08:02
Networks

Cisco snuffs Spark, renames it 'WebEx Teams'

RoundupAnd Huawei's given carriers a 14G network (it does 2G to 5G and we did the sums)
19 Apr 07:33
Artificial Intelligence
IKEA rage

Machines learned to assemble IKEA’s semi-disposable furniture

Oi! Robots! Take this human job. PLEEEAASE take this job
70 Comments
19 Apr 07:02
Artificial Intelligence

Facebook job ad hints at homebrew silicon plans

PollCan you build an AI/ML FPGA? And could you tell your Mum you work for Zuck?
19 Apr 06:32
Security
credit cards stacked up in a pile... with the one in the foreground in close-up

PCI Council releases vastly expanded cards-in-clouds guidance

First word on how card security for containers, VDI, SDN and web apps
19 Apr 05:58
Policy

Soyuz later! Russia may exit satellite launch biz

Is it worth competing with SpaceX prices?
48 Comments
19 Apr 05:02
Business

Jeff Bezos purple prose reveals Amazon Prime's passed 100m customers

And AWS is closing in on $20bn a year, says nine-page letter to investor we read to spare you the new age derp
23 Comments
19 Apr 03:03
Security

Facebook's login-to-other-sites service lets scum slurp your stuff

UpdatedHow trackers can snatch private info from people's profiles
40 Comments
19 Apr 01:58

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