The strife of Brian: Why doomed Intel boss's ex86 may not be the real reason for his hasty exit

heat wave

Azure North Europe downed by the curse of the Irish – sunshine

Amazon staffers protest giant's 'support of the surveillance state'

Man holds out fistful of crayons

BOFH: Is everybody ready for the meeting? Grab a crayon – let's get technical

Robot hand holding cards

Software engineer fired, shut out of office for three weeks by machine

Boot crushes duckling - pic Shutterstock

Smyte users not smitten with Twitter: APIs killed minutes after biz gobble

Java image by Gil C via Shutterstock

Oracle's new Java SE subs: Code and support for $25/server/month

TSB bank in a UK high street

Test Systems Better, IBM tells UK IT meltdown bank TSB

Broken container photo via Shutterstock

Hardened Azure, softened containers, force unlocking iOS 12, 11 iPhones – and more

Meet TLBleed: A crypto-key-leaking CPU attack that Intel reckons we shouldn't worry about

Schneier warns of 'perfect storm': Tech is becoming autonomous, and security is garbage

baby

Don't panic, but your baby monitor can be hacked into a spycam

Serverless Computing London: Last chance to grab blind bird tickets

Usain Bolt

Facebook floats BOLT to jolt code out of bit bloat

DevOps

Splunk acquires VictorOps to take it – and you – into site reliability engineering

kids play with a container

Hortonworks Data Platform update flicks on containerisation

Privacy

In huge privacy win, US Supreme Court rules warrant needed to slurp folks' location data

An angry woman steaming from the ears

Facebook sends lowly minions to placate Euro law makers over data-slurp scandal

BlackBerry continues its gentle slide even as software sales embiggen

young man in medieval peasant costume

Why the 'feudal' tech monopolies run rings around competition watchdogs

Apple MacBook Pro 15-in WRD mid-2015

At last! Apple admits its MacBook Pro butterfly keyboards utterly suck, offers free replacements

Baby

Buttonless and port-free: Expect the next iPhone to be as smooth as a baby's bum

Various Nintendo Labo kits

Nintendo Labo: After a day spent fiddling with flaps, you may be ready to, er, Lego

Quite possibly the first software package in the world to provide Help in a PDF file.

How a tax form kludge gifted the world 25 joyous years of PDF

Geek's Guide

asteroid

NASA eggheads draw up blueprints for spotting, surviving asteroid hits

Ceres' bright spots Credit: NASA/JPL-Caltech/UCLA/MPS/DLR/IDA

Geoboffins baffled as Ceres is crawling with carbon organics

CSIRO's Australia Telescope Compact Array

Astroboffins 'sprinkle iron filings' over remnant supernova

protoplanets

Astroboffins spot planets swimming in the mists of forming stars

School Computer Lab from Shutterstock

Something to fire up PyTorch fans, Facebook emits code for analyzing human poses, and more

Wall of TV screens photo via Shutterstock

Cops: Autonomous Uber driver may have been streaming The Voice before death crash

This is the blockchain. Yes, THE blockchain

Amid 'idiotic blockchain phase,' EY and Microsoft tout smart contracts

Skynet for the win? AI hunts down secret testing of nuclear bombs

Verity Stob

Friends with beer watching TV

Great news, cask beer fans: UK shortage of CO2 menaces fizzy crap taking up tap space

Sunnylvsfjorden Fjord in Norway with a cruise ship

Norwegian tourist board says it can't a-fjord the bad publicity from 'Land of Chlamydia' posters

Jenny Agutter at Byte Night launch

El Reg works with Byte Night to put techies out on the streets

Have YOU had your breakfast pint? Boffins confirm cheeky daily tipple is good for you

Top stories

Oracle's new Java SE subs: Code and support for $25/server/month

PollPrepare for audit after inevitable change, says Oracle licensing consultant

BOFH: Is everybody ready for the meeting? Grab a crayon – let's get technical

Episode 11Mindfulness worksheets? Lattes? We're all set

Meet TLBleed: A crypto-key-leaking CPU attack that Intel reckons we shouldn't worry about

How to extract 256-bit signing keys with 99.8% success

In huge privacy win, US Supreme Court rules warrant needed to slurp folks' location data

Privacy

Artificial Intelligence

Something to fire up PyTorch fans, Facebook emits code for analyzing human poses, and more

RoundupIncluding: Microsoft hoovers up Bonsai startup

The strife of Brian: Why doomed Intel boss's ex86 may not be the real reason for his hasty exit

CommentHad the board just had enough of Krzanich?

Hardened Azure, softened containers, force unlocking iOS 12, 11 iPhones – and more

RoundupPlus: Our tip on keeping Mac files encrypted

At last! Apple admits its MacBook Pro butterfly keyboards utterly suck, offers free replacements

FYI: This article was typed o a roken Apple quirky keyoard – ad it loody well shows

Cloud

Azure North Europe downed by the curse of the Irish – sunshine

Microsoft data center went sideways this week for hours with cooling issue

Meet TLBleed: A crypto-key-leaking CPU attack that Intel reckons we shouldn't worry about

How to extract 256-bit signing keys with 99.8% success

Don't miss Schneier warns of 'perfect storm': Tech is becoming autonomous, and security is garbage

Software engineer fired, shut out of office for three weeks by machine

HAL 9000 is here – and it's plugged into your HR system

Smyte users not smitten with Twitter: APIs killed minutes after biz gobble

UpdatedClients of online abuse-fighting upstart cry foul over being 'royally screwed'

Great news, cask beer fans: UK shortage of CO2 menaces fizzy crap taking up tap space

Brit booze barons worry they will have to go carbon dry-oxide

In huge privacy win, US Supreme Court rules warrant needed to slurp folks' location data

A digital era defining decision

An angry woman steaming from the ears

Facebook sends lowly minions to placate Euro law makers over data-slurp scandal

We wanted actual C-suiters, growls EU committee

BlackBerry continues its gentle slide even as software sales embiggen

Strong showing for that and services in Q1 '19 results

Sunnylvsfjorden Fjord in Norway with a cruise ship

Norwegian tourist board says it can't a-fjord the bad publicity from 'Land of Chlamydia' posters

No claps for you: Marketing director slams condom ad

Why the 'feudal' tech monopolies run rings around competition watchdogs

InterviewRather than break up Google, can we try owning our data?

Buttonless and port-free: Expect the next iPhone to be as smooth as a baby's bum

Wot? No Lightning?

Cloud

Amazon staffers protest giant's 'support of the surveillance state'

Letter to Bezos: 'We refuse to contribute to tools that violate human rights'

Cops: Autonomous Uber driver may have been streaming The Voice before death crash

Reports say she was watching reality TV at time of fatal impact

Outage? No, phones are playing silly buggers, insists Sainsbury's Bank

UpdatedBut customers believe days of problems go deeper than that

Do UK.gov wonks understand sci-tech skills gap? MPs dish out Parliamentary kicking

And don't even ask about Brexit

El Reg works with Byte Night to put techies out on the streets

Join tech luminaries and Jenny Agutter for a night on the tiles

Schneier warns of 'perfect storm': Tech is becoming autonomous, and security is garbage

Israel Cyber WeekTel Aviv treated to Brucey's bonus views

BOFH

BOFH: Is everybody ready for the meeting? Grab a crayon – let's get technical

Episode 11Mindfulness worksheets? Lattes? We're all set

Have YOU had your breakfast pint? Boffins confirm cheeky daily tipple is good for you

Study of Americans shows light drinking is still better than none

Various Nintendo Labo kits

Nintendo Labo: After a day spent fiddling with flaps, you may be ready to, er, Lego

But for real, this kit is great for fooling kids into liking STEM

This is the blockchain. Yes, THE blockchain

Amid 'idiotic blockchain phase,' EY and Microsoft tout smart contracts

Blockchain might actually prove helpful for a change

Trainee techie ran away and hid after screwing up a job, literally

On-CallHe was young, eager to please and forgot that size matters

Don't panic, but your baby monitor can be hacked into a spycam

Researchers confirm hardware vulnerable to remote attacks

Galloping greenback rocks Red Hat

Q1 2019 beat guidance, but FY 19 forecasts were cut and investors bit back

Cloud

Amazon tweaks its word processor for easier online Office edits

Which is just what you’d do if you planned to compete with Microsoft, perhaps?

Oracle's new Java SE subs: Code and support for $25/server/month

PollPrepare for audit after inevitable change, says Oracle licensing consultant

Artificial Intelligence

Skynet for the win? AI hunts down secret testing of nuclear bombs

Telltale elements offer clues to rogue nations' nuke building, detonation on the sly

Canadian utility makes blockchain upstarts bid for their ravenous rigs' electricity supply

Quebecois poutine the squeeze on cryptocurrency miners

Big Cable unplugs Cali's draft net neutrality protections yet AGAIN

Sponsors of US state's proposed law fume as key committee chair guts legislation

IBM loses mainframe docs down the back of the web, customers cry 'sabotage'

Broken page links flummox big iron clients of Big Blue

MOS-SAD: Israeli govt weighs in on Facebook privacy, promises action

Israel Cyber WeekSpymaster whines about smartphone privacy

Want to know what all that Fortnite hype is about? Whoa, Android fans – mind how you go

Malware writers preying on the game-curious with fake apps

US Supreme Court blocks internet's escape from state sales taxes

5-4 decision brings ecommerce in line with physical shops

HPC

Fujitsu kicks off field trials for post-K exascale computing processor

Prototyping wrapped up with delivery around 2021

Brit reseller Aria PC's appeal against HMRC VAT fraud finding gets under way

Firm disputes findings of taxman and First-Tier tribunal

WannaCry is back! (Psych. It's just phisher folk doing what they do)

Spamming scum fire out phishing frighteners

Accountants HATE them: Microsoft's Xbox harnesses blockchain to pay games publishers

But it used to use Excel and print-outs, just like us normies

By gum, that's chewy: Samsung's NF1 fattens M.2 card capacity with wider gumstick format

8TB drive can give 2U diskless servers 576TB capacity

Serverless Computing London: Last chance to grab blind bird tickets

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