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Do Not Adjust Your Set

Eight EXCELLENT languages for the fondleslab-friendly Intranet of Thingies

Stob What are you up, Verity? Ensconced in one of your comfortable, miles-from-any-critical-path projects?
Verity Stob, 20 Jan 10:01

Three Men in a Tardis

Stob Significant anniversaries bunch together like buses. Three are assaulting me simultaneously, give or take a month or two.
Verity Stob, 12 Nov 13:23

Down with Unicode! Why 16 bits per character is a right pain in the ASCII

Stob I recently experienced a Damascene conversion and, like many such converts, I am now set on a course of indiscriminate and aggressive proselytising.
Verity Stob, 04 Oct 09:03

Verity's summer songs for programmers: Sing your pals to sleep()

Stob "What better way to dispel the rainy gloom of an English summer," mused Ms Stob, in an introduction presumably written some time in March, "than a mass office sing-along to a selection of IT-themed pastiches?"
Verity Stob, 22 Jul 09:43

Bjarne Again: Hallelujah for C++

Stob Now it has been scientifically demonstrated that we Delphi users are the happiest of all programmers, proper significance can at last be attached to the rare woes that occasionally break through our Stepford Coder personas.
Verity Stob, 17 Jun 12:05
International Space Station

In space, no one can hear your laptop Blue Screen

Stob Reg columnist Verity Stob says she's uncovered the following string of eye-opening electronic missives between the International Space Station's crew members. First, some context:
Verity Stob, 07 May 06:03
management governance3

Six things a text editor must do - or it's a one-way trip to the trash

Stob When I heard, in a tutorial video, the multi-platform programmer's editor Sublime described as "the cool kids' code editor" (or possibly "the Cool Kid's code editor" - the speaker didn't enunciate his capitals and apostrophes very clearly) I was puzzled. As the goto (or, rather, the call-by-reference) consultant on Agile Harlem Shake in the northwest corner of our floor, surely no such assertion could plausibly be made without first interviewing me?
Verity Stob, 11 Mar 09:02

Who ate all the Pis?

Stob 10/11/2012
Verity Stob, 29 Jan 11:44
babbage's analytical engine by gastev licensed under creative commons

8086 and All That. Revisited

Stob Editor's Note: Verity Stob's celebrated history of computing was first published in EXE magazine in 1997, but has been unobtainable on the internets for several years. Now, thanks to the painstaking reconstruction of small pieces of parchment, and a small monetary inducement, we can now bring it to you as a Seasonal Treat. With added Annotations.
Verity Stob, 22 Dec 11:01

The Sons of Kahn and the assembly language of the internet

Stob Editor's Note: Verity Stob's Chronicles of Delphi [King James ed.] began in 1996. The most recent translations can be found here: The Sons of Kahn and the Pascal spring and here: Sons of Kahn: The Apocrypha.
Verity Stob, 11 Dec 10:00
The Register breaking news

Google defames Reg columnist Verity Stob

Google’s latest improvement to its web search has produced a catastrophic consequence. The Chocolate Factory now adds biographical information to the search result for a person, drawing on the fantastically accurate well of truth that is Wikipedia, and also adding Google’s best guess of an identifying photograph.
Andrew Orlowski, 06 Dec 15:31

Stob on Quatermass: Was this British TV's finest sci-fi hour?

Stob Special In the pub, with my editor. "Those sci-fi classics of the fifties," he mused. "Not the Hammer remakes - the originals. Are they really classics? How do they compare with modern Doctor Who? Are they even watchable?"
Verity Stob, 08 Nov 11:00

Five go wild with the Administration Tools Pack

Stob As you have surely heard, it’s Alan Turing’s centenary this year, and the Bletchley Park museum is celebrating by releasing a game of Monopoly themed on the life of that mathematical genius. I’ll pause for a sentence or two here, while you let your boggle levels equalise, because, given Turing’s life story, this is a quite a bizarre concept to digest. For example, what are the Chance cards going to be like?
Verity Stob, 23 Oct 10:00

How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love IPv6

Stob IPv4 addresses are a rapidly dwindling commodity [...] ICANN distributed the last big chunks of available IPv4 addresses to the five continental Regional Internet Registries earlier this year. The RIRs in turn are running out of supplies to allocate to ISPs and other network operators - El Reg
Verity Stob, 21 Aug 10:01

Welcome, friend, to Metroland

Stob When I saw that my editor had written 'Metro isn't the problem: catapulting into Metro land (and back again) is', I said: 'There's an idea - I could do try out the Betj pastiche macro in my HTML editor'. And scurried out the door before anybody thought to stop me.
Verity Stob, 09 Jul 08:33
management management3

Stuck in a dull conference? You need Verity's survival guide

Stob The technical conference season is once more upon us. The speakers at these affairs spend a lot of time sharing their software design patterns and anti-patterns with us; as a regular attendee it seemed to me that we punters were overdue for revenge. Here is some of their own medicine.
Verity Stob, 14 May 09:19
Steampunk fan with goggles

Hold on, Booker prize judges - Stob's penned a steampunk hit

Stob Somewhere on the hard drive of every programmer-wannabe-writer’s laptop there is the first chapter of an unfinished steam punk novel. Here’s mine.
Verity Stob, 17 Apr 07:33
The Register breaking news

Molesworth and the New Latin

Stob 'In his speech [...] the Education Secretary Michael Gove appeared to accept in its entirety the argument that ICT had become little more than training in office skills and something far more rigorous was required [...] While Alex Hope's slogan "coding is the new Latin" did not appeal to some, it must have appealed to the classicist in Michael Gove' - Rory Cellan-Jones, BBC website
Verity Stob, 27 Feb 13:19
The Register breaking news

The Sons of Khan and the Pascal Spring

Stob [We last heard from the Sons of Khan in 2010. The scriptures continue - Ed.]
Verity Stob, 16 Jan 13:02
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Riders of the Bearded Sage

Stob Ever since Richard Stallman hit the news ...
Verity Stob, 21 Nov 10:11
The Register breaking news

Doctor Who and the Unsatisfactory Five Hole Tape Punch

Stob Stob This sentence is false... As soon as I heard about the sponsored Doctor Who-themed parties, I just knew that they would want an article on the early years of Doctor Who IT to include in the special pack. However, since nobody has actually asked me for it yet, you get first dibs.
Verity Stob, 07 Nov 10:30
The Register breaking news

Verity's secret shame revealed

Stob I defrosted my ideas box, and found several morsels which wouldn't make a whole meal in themselves, but nonetheless needed eating.
Verity Stob, 19 Sep 09:41
The Register breaking news

Here lies /^v.+b$/i

Stob Stob After I've gone In a melancholy mood, this week. Went back home to have a look at Dad's bench. He was a Classics scholar, actually; went up to Cambridge and everything. And so above his name and dates on the brass plaque screwed into the wood, instead of "He loved this place" or something equally fatuous, it says:
Verity Stob, 22 Aug 12:20
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Educating Verity the OU way

Stob I think I mentioned that I was doing an Open University PGDip course in software development. (For those not familiar with the institution, the Open University has rightly been described as a sort of mental gym. You join with great enthusiasm; then, after three months, having attended just twice, you can drop out and ask for the balance of your subscription back.)
Verity Stob, 18 Jul 10:00
The Register breaking news

Verity Stob and the super subjunction

Stob Just downloaded the beta version of English V3.31, and I have to say I am very excited about it. This is definitely going to be a feather in the cap of Anglophones everywhere, and way better than the notorious V2.99 release of French (or the 'deux point neufty-neuf' as it has become known). There's a ton of new features to talk about, so let me dive in right away with some toothsome details.
Verity Stob, 01 Jun 10:28
The Register breaking news

No stranger to the moleskin trouser

Stob A website called MySpace is 'in a death spiral' according to Mr Robert Scoble, who attributes this unhappy state to its being implemented using Microsoft .NET technology, and because it is headquartered in Los Angeles, where apparently there aren't enough good programmers.
Verity Stob, 11 Apr 10:42
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In defence of Comic Sans

Stob Stob Good Morning!!!
Verity Stob, 31 Jan 11:12
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The Girl with the NSObject Class Reference tattoo

Stob What better occupation, at this time of year, than to polish up one's IT skills with some background reading? What have the great programming publishers got lined up for our delectation in 2011?
Verity Stob, 10 Jan 11:30
The Register breaking news

I was timeboxed in a holistic scrum

Stob Do you suffer from unsatisfactory projectile climaxes? Is your software construction methodology previous generation? Do you require the predictable outcome of pre-planning with the flexibility of iteration and the lightness of touch of partially de-hierarchicalised management approaches?
Verity Stob, 29 Nov 11:30
The Register breaking news

Verity Stob faces execution, Wikipedia-style

A 22-year career chronicling the world of computing programming counts for nothing, it seems. Columnist and author Verity Stob may be nominated for deletion from Wikipedia for not being "notable" enough.
Andrew Orlowski, 05 Oct 14:17
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Diary of an Overflow Addict

Stob Thursday Medals 0 Rep 0
Verity Stob, 05 Oct 11:11
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Sons of Kahn: The Apocrypha

Stob The Sons of Kahn move on
Verity Stob, 23 Aug 10:07
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Lord Peter views the logfile

Stob "What is design? Dorothy Sayers (English writer and dramatist - quoted by Brooks) suggests that design has three phases" - InfoQ reviewing Fred 'Mythical Man' Brook's latest tome.
Verity Stob, 26 Jul 09:02
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A Rumba with a Roomba

Stob Don't tell me. I've heard it already. You've got the iPadFever. Or Obsession for iPhone 4. Or iMac Mini Madness.
Verity Stob, 21 Jun 08:32
The Register breaking news

I Married a Monster from ISO 9000

Stob We had our quality audit the other week. Its cadences seemed curiously familiar.
Verity Stob, 24 May 09:02
The Register breaking news

First among SQLs

Stob Legend has it that Edgar 'Ted' Codd got the idea for SQL while attending a 'Sky at Night' spin-off lecture. Patrick Moore, pointing at the blackboard, said: 'Select a star from the table'. 'That's it!', cried Codd, and ran out the door to follow up his inspiration forthwith, missing a good discussion of vulcanoids.
Verity Stob, 20 Apr 11:03
The Register breaking news

Is it ta-ta for Flash?

Stob I hear you're a bit of a Flash programmer. Why is Flash in the news so much, Verity?
Verity Stob, 01 Mar 11:58
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Verity Stob's App Store

Stob You have had your Sweet iJesus NexPreDroidBerry smart-like-hell-when-you-get-the-statement-phone for a month or so now. Perhaps the novelty has worn off a device that's much more difficult to use than its primitive predecessor, and which eats its battery charge faster than a New Year's resolution breaker munching an economy-sized bar of fruit-and-nut.
Verity Stob, 18 Jan 11:32
The Register breaking news

A Deadlock Holiday

Stob Moore's Law, I need hardly remind a top-notch industry professional like you, states that as the density of silicon circuitry doubles, the probability of you not being able to find some sensibly-priced extra memory to fit your old lappy approaches 1.0.
Verity Stob, 10 Dec 11:26
The Register breaking news

Abigail's Windows 7 Party

Stob What are you doing on Oct 22? Microsoft is putting a Tupperware-style twist on the upcoming Windows 7 rollout, launching a new initiative to encourage thousands of employees, partners and technology enthusiasts to throw parties in their homes and communities to demonstrate and help spread the word about its new OS - Slashdot
Verity Stob, 14 Sep 10:31
The Register breaking news

Not now darling I'm twirping

Stob Baroness Susan Greenfield, head of the Royal Institution and occasional star of Ben Goldacre's Bad Science column, has dramatically claimed, via the offices of the Daily Mail, that social websites harm children's brains.
Verity Stob, 24 Aug 10:17
The Register breaking news

Don't call me Ishmael

Stob Stob 'No, you don't understand,' the White Knight said, looking a little vexed. 'That's what the name is called. The name really is "The Aged Aged Man."' 'Oh, do get on with it, you pedantic old weirdo,' snapped Alice crisply. Through the Looking Glass, Lewis Carroll (1871), revised Verity Stob (2009)
Verity Stob, 22 Jun 08:02