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Roughly 150kg of gold

Apple strap-on wristjob: You WON'T be able to spend more than $5,000!

When Apple unveiled its vaporware wrist-tablet Watch, fanbois braced themselves for a bit of sticker shock. The starting price for the smartwatch will be $350, which will get you a "sport" model with a rubber strap and an aluminum case. But Apple CEO Tim Cook promised his faithful that more reassuringly expensive models will …
Shaun Nichols, 6 Nov 2014

Languages don't breed bugs, PEOPLE breed bugs, say boffins

If you want to spark a religious war, express an unshakeable preference for a programming language, and by preference, make your favourite something relatively obscure, like Erlang. It turns out, according to a study by a bunch of UC Davis boffins, the differences in code quality between languages are pretty small. To be …
Screenshot of E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial for the Atari 2600

It's the WORST game ever, just pulled from a desert DUMP ... now ET can be yours for $500

In a world ... when video games were invading every home ... a legendary American company set out to create ... the most lucrative console game of all time ... It failed ... horribly ... and set the gaming industry on a path ... of annihilation. Atari Inc's 1982 game E.T. The Extra Terrestrial for its 2600 console bombed so bad …
Shaun Nichols, 6 Nov 2014

Tinder swipes left on CEO Sean Rad, journalists swipe right

Comment Tinder CEO Sean Rad has been dumped by the dating app maker he helped found, although he'll keep his 10 per cent stake. Unusually, the details of the firing were revealed by the 28-year-old himself in a lengthy piece of blowjob journalism by Forbes, titled "The Crazy Saga of the World's Hottest App". In between learning about …
Google Docs

Google gives Microsoft office an awkward hug with new plugin

Google's given Microsoft Office an awkward hug by refreshing Drive so it plays nice with desktop applications. Drive is Google's share 'n' sync offering and integrates tightly with its apps: drop a document into Drive and you can read or edit it in the Docs in-browser word processor. That tool's not to everyone's tastes and …

Wanna be Facebook? It just open-sourced some of its web server code. Now to find 1bn users...

Facebook has rolled out another chunk of open-source code, this time a C++ HTTP stack called Proxygen, which includes a web server. Techies at the social network hope other developers will use the BSD-licensed software as the basis of their own web apps, and have included a bunch of “sensible defaults” to get people on their way …
OpenStack's "Dope 'N Stack" campaign

Speaking in Tech: Biz bods chat LIVE from OpenStack Summit

Podcast speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise It's another episode of Speaking In Tech, all ready to download to your phone or tablet to make your commute home that much more informative and funny. Join your host, Greg Knieriemen, as he hosts an all-star panel at the OpenStack Summit in Paris to debate the pros and cons …
Team Register, 5 Nov 2014
Total Recall outside on Mars scene

Eye laser surgery campaigner burned by Facebook takedown

+Comment Imagine fighting a big UK company for years for the simple right to campaign fairly online against an under-regulated industry. You go on to win a dispute resolution case probed by Nominet to keep your perfectly legitimate gripe website alive. You also successfully defend yourself against the firm's strong-armed appeals. Then …
Kelly Fiveash, 5 Nov 2014
President Putin doing judo

Russia to ban iCloud.. to PROTECT iPhone fiddlers' pics 'n' sh*t

The Kremlin is set to ban Apple's iCloud as part of plans to throw up a new iron curtain around Russia's digital communications. Anti-data-offshoring laws will come into force on New Year's Day 2015 that require all data generated within Russia to be stored within its borders. Apple's iCloud service has been in the news …
Jasper Hamill, 5 Nov 2014
homeless man with sign

Rich techbro CEOs told to SLEEP ROUGH before slamming the poor

The US congresswoman who represents some of the wealthiest areas of Silicon Valley has challenged technology moneybags to get some perspective on life – by sleeping rough or living off state handouts. House Representative Jackie Speier (D-CA) said tech executives in the Bay Area should try living as the poor do to better …
Shaun Nichols, 5 Nov 2014
Stefan Weitz, director of search at Microsoft

Microsoft's Bing hopes to bag market share with ... search apps

Web Summit Microsoft’s director of search Stefan Weitz has admitted that Bing.com probably can’t compete with Google’s search engine in a head-to-head race, but reckons Redmond's a contender in search applications. Stefan Weitz, director of search at Microsoft “The question is, where is search really going?” he said at the Web Summit …

Amazon is the leering monolith in the cloudy room – OpenStack boss

The COO of the OpenStack Foundation took aim at Amazon as “the monolith in the room” today, before claiming its power to dominate the future of the cloud was already on the wane. However Mark Collier delivered little reassurance to other public cloud vendors in his speech, with Azure and Google not even meriting a mention, …
Joe Fay, 4 Nov 2014
Miško Hevery presents AtScript

Improving JavaScript: Google throws AtScript into the mix

Google’s Miško Hevery, co-inventor of the popular AngularJS framework, has announced a new project to improve JavaScript by adding type annotations and other features. Miško Hevery presents AtScript Miško Hevery presents AtScript at ngEurope The announcement came at the ng-europe Angular conference in Paris at the end of …
Tim Anderson, 4 Nov 2014
android tongue

DROIDS - everywhere! Is Apple really even in the game any more?

DroidCon 14 Reg bad-boy Dom Connor was walking the halls at DroidCon recently - this is what he saw ... DroidDrones Flyver was among the exhibitors at DroidCon 2014, where it unveiled an API that works with your Android phone to control a drone. It's also selling a bundle of sensors, battery and processor that's light and cheap enough to …

Microsoft: How to run Internet Explorer 11 on ANDROID, iOS, OS X

Microsoft has unveiled a new tool to allow web developers to test their apps against the very latest version of Internet Explorer – even if they don't have any Windows clients running in-house. Web devs use a variety of tools to get their work done, and it should come as no surprise that a great many prefer OS X to Windows. But …
Web development graphic

Mozilla promises browser just for DEVELOPERS3

The Mozilla Foundation has promised that next week it will give developers a browser that meets their needs and their needs only, instead of catering to the whims and petty proclivities of users. “When building for the Web, developers tend to use a myriad of different tools which often don’t work well together,” the foundation …
Google Chocolate Factory

Google Calendar jumps into Inbox/Gmail era

Google's refreshed its Google Calendar Android app, and is promising an iOS version to follow. The big-ticket item on the list is that the Calendar will suck stuff out of your e-mails, so (in the limited imagination of those that provide real-world use-cases) an airline confirmation would be spotted in your inbox and would …
Lego Monster Fighters Lord Vampyre

Super-villains of C sought for WORLD CONQUEST plan

If you think like a super-villain, laugh like an anti-hero, and can write code, it's time to polish off the cackle, sharpen up the brain, get extra coffee, and start working on your entry to the Underhanded C contest. The 7th Underhanded C contest seeks, like its predecessors, code that is “readable, clear, innocent and …
Fight sticker

Oracle users open can of whup-ass on licensing policies

Businesses view relations with Oracle as “hostile” and are “filled with deep-rooted mistrust”, according to a six month end-user survey on software compliance conducted by the Campaign for Clear Licensing (CCL). The not-for-profit organ probed (PDF) 100 hard-pressed IT and software asset managers, licensing specialists and tech …
Paul Kunert, 3 Nov 2014
Apple Watch

Apple Watch buyers will feel 'different' after being 'serviced' in spring 2015

What will you be buying your loved one for Valentine's Day next year? Not an Apple Watch, it seems, as this much-anticipated gizmo is now set to be released in the spring of 2015. Apple retail supremo Angela Ahrendts revealed the timing of the release in a leaked video message. In a rather saucy-sounding missive, the former …
Jasper Hamill, 3 Nov 2014
Now you've done it...

Drupalgeddon megaflaw raises questions over CMS bods' crisis mgmt

The security world has been shocked to its foundations following ominous warnings that millions of Drupal websites that didn't apply a critical patch within hours of its release earlier this month should be regarded as hopelessly compromised. The maintainers of the Drupal content management system warned users that “automated …
John Leyden, 3 Nov 2014

Windows 8 or nowt: Consumer Win 7 fans are OUT OF LUCK

It’s Windows 8.x or nothing for PC shoppers, says Microsoft, which has announced that it's no longer offering Windows 7. Friday 31 October was officially the last day when Microsoft made Windows 7 available for sale through retail outlets, meaning consumers can no longer buy discs of download versions of Windows 7 Home Basic, …
Gavin Clarke, 3 Nov 2014

Microsoft now licensing Windows by the user, across multiple devices

Microsoft has changed the way it licences Windows so that it is now possible to buy licences on a per-user basis. Explained here, the main effect of the new policy is that a single licence can now apply to different devices. As Microsoft explains, this new arrangement means it's now possible for employees of organisations that …
News team, 3 Nov 2014

NSW Govt spends half a million dollars on XP support

The government in the Australian state of New South Wales (NSW) has spent more than half a million dollars to allow eight state agencies to persist with Windows XP. Extended support for the operating system famously ended in April this year, four and a half years after the release of Windows 7, the Windows release often …
Darren Pauli, 3 Nov 2014
Bambi and Thumper

Disney wins Mickey Mouse patent for torrent-excluding search engine

Disney has been awarded a patent for an “Online content ranking system based on authenticity metric values for web elements.” The patent will interest many because Disney says “Embodiments … enable the filtering of undesirable search results, such as results referencing piracy websites, child pornography websites, and/or the …

Windows XP market share FELL OFF A CLIFF in October

Windows XP's market share took a dive – a big one – during October, according to the two counters of OS market share we've been following for a year now. Netmarketshare had XP going from 23.97 per cent of PCs to 17.18 per cent during October. Statcounter had XP going from 14.4 per cent to 13.22 per cent, a less dramatic drop but …
Photo of boxes of Microsoft Office for Mac

Microsoft jolts awake, remembers it still makes Office for Mac

Microsoft has finally put a date on what will be its first new version of Office for OS X since 2010. The software giant said that the second half of 2015 will bring the release of the first new version of Office for Mac in more than four years. That edition will bless Mac users with new versions of Word, Excel, PowerPoint and …
Shaun Nichols, 1 Nov 2014
CoreOS

CoreOS offers private Docker container registries for world+dog

Container-loving Linux vendor CoreOS has made its on-premises Docker container registry software available as a standalone product. Previously, CoreOS Enterprise Registry was only available as part of the company's Premium Managed Linux offering, which it describes as "OS as a service." As of Thursday, it is now available for …
Neil McAllister, 30 Oct 2014
Privacy image

Samaritans 'suicide Twitter-sniffer' BACKFIRES over privacy concerns

In response to public outcry via Twitter and personal blogs on Wednesday, the Samaritans have announced an opt-out function for their stalker-friendly app. Samaritans Radar automatically scans the tweets of anyone the user follows and alerts subscribers to potentially suicidal tweets based on “trigger phrases”. However well- …
Jennifer Baker, 30 Oct 2014
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella

Programming Office 365: Hands On with Microsoft's new APIs

Analysis Microsoft has announced new APIs and mobile software development kits for Office 365, its cloud platform for email, document storage, and collaboration. Office 365 uses Azure Active Directory (AD) for authentication, and the company is pushing the idea of using this not only for Office 365, but also as a corporate cloud identity …
Tim Anderson, 30 Oct 2014
Charlie Chaplin The Cure (1917)

Making an entrance: Remote door-opening tech

Breaking Fad For a lot of Reg readers, home automation is probably an internal affair – that is, if you're using technology, it's probably to control things inside the home, like heating, lighting and so on. And indeed, that also makes up the bulk of what's available when it comes to the major suppliers. Youtube Video One area that's fairly …
Nigel Whitfield, 30 Oct 2014
Angry-looking cat. Pic by  Guyon Morée from Beverwijk, Netherlands. licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic license

This time it's SO REAL: Overcoming the open-source orgasm myth with TODO

What can the world learn from Google, Twitter and Facebook - apart from how to make millions through ads flinging? How to run a successful open-source project. The trio in September announced TODO, to make open-source project “easier.” Joining them are Dropbox and Box and code-site GitHub, payment providers Square and Stripe, US …
Gavin Clarke, 30 Oct 2014
Screenshot of the Office 2013 installer for Office 365

Microsoft opens Office 365 to devs with APIs, SDKs

Microsoft is putting its Office 365 crown jewels on display, opening up APIs to the environment to attract third-party developers to the platform. The APIs are yours for the taking here, along with resources and guides for developers. Microsoft imagines applications such as integrating a reservation system with a user's calendar …
Apple iPhone 6 and 6 Plus

PEAK APPLE: iOS 8 is least popular Cupertino mobile OS in all of HUMAN HISTORY

Half of all fanbois and gurlz have finally installed iOS 8 on their iThings, hammering home the point that Apple's new mobile operating system is much less popular than previous versions. A glance at the Apple developer support page reveals that 52 percent of users have now installed iOS 8 on their iPhone or fondleslab, which …
Jasper Hamill, 29 Oct 2014

Google may hook Kubernetes deep into own cloud

Google's Cloud Platform Live event in the USA next week may offer up some news on how The Chocolate Factory will allow developers to put Kubernetes to work in its own cloud. Kubernetes is a tool Google developed and used to make containerisation more useful by making it possible to manage containerised applications. As explained …
Simon Sharwood, 29 Oct 2014

Devs: Imagine a lithe, lightly-clad, sweaty body and what you'd do with it

Google has released the software development kit (SDK) for its Google Fit service. Google Fit is yet another measure-your-activity-upload-it-socialise-it-track-progress-and-reward-you-for-achieving-goals service, but for Android. Google hopes the release of the SDK will spur device-makers to use Android on their gadgets, and …
Simon Sharwood, 29 Oct 2014
CSIRO's Workspace - workflow screen editor

Top research shop releases free boffinware for all

Updated with video Australia's Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation (CSIRO), which lists the formative work behind WiFi among its successes, wants to boost researcher productivity, and has published a free-for-boffins scientific tool called "Workspace" to help. Workspace is designed be a generic environment for researchers …
The HTML5 logo

Yes, Virginia, there IS a W3C HTML5 standard – as of now, that is

After nearly 10 years of development, the World Wide Web Consortium (W3C) has promoted the HTML5 specification to Recommendation status, its highest level of maturation, effectively making the markup language a formal web standard. "For application developers and industry, HTML5 represents a set of features that people will be …
Neil McAllister, 28 Oct 2014

Hey, YouTube lovers! How about you pay us, we start paying for STUFF? - Google

YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki has confirmed that the Google vid service is open to introducing subscriptions. This is not exactly news – one of the most controversial sagas to rage this year concerns complaints from independent music companies over YouTube’s yet-to-be launched subscription music service. Indies requested emergency …
Andrew Orlowski, 28 Oct 2014

Microsoft unwraps new auto data-protection in Office 365 tools

Microsoft is expanding its Data Loss Prevention (DLP) tools. DLP is a way of tagging content to mark it as sensitive data and subject to policy, such as a rule that states “data must be encrypted” or “may not be shared outside the organisation”. DLP is already available for email in Exchange, Outlook and Office 365, and is now …
Tim Anderson, 28 Oct 2014
Mozilla Firefox

Mozilla: Spidermonkey ATE Apple's JavaScriptCore, THRASHED Google V8

Mozilla Distinguished Engineer Robert O’Callahan reports that the Spidermonkey JavaScript engine, used by the Firefox web browser, has surpassed the performance of Google’s V8 engine (used by Chrome) and Apple’s JavaScript Core (used by Safari) on three popular benchmarks: Mozilla’s own Kraken, Webkit’s SunSpider and Google’s …
Tim Anderson, 28 Oct 2014
Logging onto Windows 10 with a mobile for 2-factor authentication

Microsoft shows off spanking Win 10 PCs, compute-tastic Azure

TechEd Europe Microsoft's TechEd Europe conference is under way in Barcelona, and this morning Microsoft corporate VP Joe Belfiore showed new management features in the forthcoming Windows 10. Users will be able to log into Windows 10 using Azure Active Directory (AD), the cloud-based directory also used by Office 365, and get access to the …
Tim Anderson, 28 Oct 2014