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El Reg reforms the Quid-A-Day Nosh Posse

We're pleased to announce that we've reformed the El Reg Quid-A-Day Nosh Posse to tackle the 2015 Live Below the Line challenge to exist for five days on just £1 per day for food. Over the last couple of years, we've raised a good wedge of wonga in support of Malaria No More UK, and we hope to do the same from 27 April to 1 May …
Lester Haines, 24 Mar 2015
The finished hot chana masala

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Chana masala

Regular readers will know that we at the Special Projects Bureau have a bit of previous form when it comes to chickpeas – from boiling enormous cauldrons of the things as part of the Live Below the Line challenge to creating rather more appetising winter-warmer stews – so it was only a matter of time before we turned our wobbly …
Lester Haines, 22 Mar 2015

LOHAN chap serves up 'tenner a week' e-cookbook

In response to reader demands following the recent release of his "Food For a Tenner a Week" cookbook, Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) team member Neil Barnes is offering the same budget nosh tome in ePub format for a mere £2.99. Matt with Neil's cookbook As with the hard copy (seen above getting the once-over by …
Lester Haines, 20 Mar 2015

Atomic keyrings: Just how bright are they?

Since El Reg's merchandising tentacle Cash'n'Carrion responded to reader demand for atomic keyrings and took delivery of a big crate of Nite Glowrings and Mini Glowrings, we've had a few emails asking how bright they actually are. Three colours of Nite Glowring Indeed, a couple of customers who flashed the plastic for these …
Team Register, 18 Mar 2015

LOHAN chap compiles 'tenner a week' cookbook

It's a tip of the chef's hat today to Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) chap Neil Barnes, who's released a cookbook inspired by his participation in the Live Below the Line challenge, with all profits going to Malaria No More UK. Neil Barnes in his flight suit with LOHAN patch Last year, paragliding aficionado Neil …
Lester Haines, 15 Mar 2015

LOHAN unleashes 'waiting for the FAA' collector mug

It's fair to say that waiting for US Federal Aviation Authority approval for our Vulture 2 spaceplane launch is a bit like sitting blindfolded in a room twiddling your thumbs while trying to imagine what paint drying on the wall of an adjacent room looks like. Suffice to say, we're doing our best to gee up the FAA snail - but in …
Lester Haines, 13 Mar 2015
Our playmonaut tries out a jetpack, watched by a circling vulture

LOHAN leaps aloft & ports into virtual flight logger

Last October, our US allies at Edge Research Laboratory sent up a Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) avionics package to determine just how our Vulture 2 spaceplane's servos and batteries would handle the cold way up in the stratsophere. Shortly afterwards, the chaps from "Drone Flight Logbook" outfit Exmaps got in …
Lester Haines, 10 Mar 2015

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Smažený sýr

It's back to basics this time around for our post-pub nosh neckfiller, following an audacious leap into the challenging waters of English muffins and hollandaise sauce. Say hello, then, to classic Czech wobbly dining delicacy smažený sýr ("fried cheese") – aka "smazak" to its mates – which has for years been dispensed by street …
Lester Haines, 8 Mar 2015
The Tanami Desert en route to Willowara

Australia's new broadband satellites won't be all the help Willowra needs

One of the things we've been asked about our project to figure out how to improve network performance at the Wirliyajarrayi Learning Centre in the remote Australian town of Willowra is why we are bothering. It's a decent question to ask because Australia is building a new Long Term Satellite Solution (LTSS) that promises multi- …

Atomic keyring's eerie blue glow lights SPB lab

The news last week that El Reg merchandising tentacle Cash'n'Carrion had sourced new tritium-powered glowrings prompted some atomic-powered nostalgia from those readers who'd bought the original Traser. Way back in 2002, we laid our hands on a big batch of these novelty keyrings, and promptly shifted thousands of them. No …
Lester Haines, 3 Mar 2015
SkyProwler drone

SkyProwler VTOL transformo-drone set to darken skies

Joe Public's appetite for new UAV tech must surely have a limit, but that's still some way off if the case of the SkyProwler "Multi-Mission VTOL Transformer Drone" is any indication. Having soared past its $100,000 Kickstarter goal in a matter of days, Arizona-based Krossblade Aerospace Systems is set to unleash the vehicle …
Lester Haines, 26 Feb 2015

Laughing gas and rubber: A recipe for suborbital flight?

This summer, the skies above Nevada will thunder to the sound of a mighty hybrid rocket motor, as the Boston University Rocket Propulsion Group (BURPG) sends its Starscraper vehicle past the symbolic 100km Kármán line. BURPG group shot at motor test site BURPG: Laughing gas and rubber Having recently tin-rattled its way to …
Lester Haines, 26 Feb 2015

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: El Reg eggs Benedict

A few days ago, we offered wobbly dining fans the Post-Pub Noshographic - a procedural flowchart to steer our beloved readers through the after-boozer neckfiller decision-making process. That handy guide serves for immediate deployment as you stagger through the front door, a gibbering and dribbling mess in search of immediate …
Lester Haines, 22 Feb 2015

El Reg chefs whip up Post-Pub Noshographic

Our post-pub nosh neckfiller recipes have proved immensely popular over the last few months, as we've strived to bring our beloved readers the very best antidotes to a rigorous night on the sauce. However, amid the smacking of lips and the rattling of pots and pans, we have noticed a trend for commentards to decry some recipes …
Lester Haines, 20 Feb 2015

El Reg's plucky Playmonaut eyes suborbital rocket shot

Those of you who like your rockets liquid-fuelled and your altitudes suborbital might like to have a shufti at "Earendel", which promises to be "the first vehicle capable of reaching space, ie, greater than 100km, with an entirely open source design". Cutaway view of the Earendel rocket Earendel (left) - named for the Anglo- …
Lester Haines, 13 Feb 2015

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: The Red Dwarf chilli chutney egg sarnie

Our pushing of the culinary envelope takes us into intergalactic space this week, as we present for your post-pub consideration the magnificent Red Dwarf chilli chutney egg sarnie, likened to "a cross between food and bowel surgery". That's how Arnold Rimmer described Dave Lister's unholy creation in episode Thanks for the …
Lester Haines, 7 Feb 2015

Bluetooth-enabled miracle washing orbs? Are you kidding?

If you're one of those still waiting impatiently for the bloody flying car and robot butler we were promised back in the 1950s, and need a consolation quick fix of 21st-century domestic tech, then have a shufti at the Crystal Wash 2.0 - a bluetooth-enabled miracle washing orb currently the subject of a Kickstarter tin-rattle. …
Lester Haines, 3 Feb 2015

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Sizzling sag aloo

We're disappointed to report that despite our attempts last week to raise the tone of our post-pub neckfiller nosh recipes by the classy use of a soupçon of français, we have not yet attracted a sponsor willing to back our efforts to push the culinary envelope. No matter, because the latest offering for your wobbly dining …
Lester Haines, 1 Feb 2015

Cisco says GHOST is more Casper than Sleepy Hollow

Cisco has put forward at least a partial response to 2015's first branded bug, GHOST, saying that in The Borg's world, the glibc vulnerability is probably of relatively low severity. That would, at least, explain why it's not being hunted with quite the urgency of something like Heartbleed in 2014: right now, Cisco's advisory …

Virtual Vulture 2 swoops into Spaceport America

Vid Last weekend, our Vulture 2 spaceplane finally swooped down to an automated landing at Spaceport America, thanks to some hot hardware-in-the-loop (HIL) action by Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) Pixhawk autopilot wrangler Linus Penzlien. Linus has been working on ArduPilot HIL simulations using Tennessee X-Plane ace …
Lester Haines, 28 Jan 2015
Sag aloo mixed with our chickpea stew

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Chickpea stew à la Bureau des Projets Spéciaux

As winter tightens its frosty grip across the land, and a chill wind bites hard to the quick, the moment has arrived to contemplate a hearty post-pub dish designed to fill bellies on a budget and warm the cockles of the heart. So hereforth, mes amis, we present for your dining pleasure our very own Special Projects Bureau …
Lester Haines, 24 Jan 2015

Oz father and son team plan suborbital spaceplane

An Australian father and son team is attempting to develop a radical low Earth orbit spaceplane ultimately intended as a "space courier service" to return payloads from aloft. High-altitude ballooning (HAB) vets Robert Brand and son Jason, 12, (pictured below after one of their balloon flights) are in the initial stages of " …
Lester Haines, 22 Jan 2015
Feral camel

How do you solve a problem like Willowra?

One of the things we've had to consider as we plot our return to Willowra, and our mission to improve the performance of the network in the Wirliyajarrayi Learning Centre, is what kind of hardware to use. If you're coming in late to this tale, the learning centre offers the first publicly-acessible, internet-connected PCs in the …
Simon Sharwood, 22 Jan 2015

Penguin high-flyers: Andrew Tridgell on the Linux autopilot

Vid The indefatigable Andrew Tridgell popped up at linux.conf.au in new Zealand last week, where he delivered an entertaining presentation on the state of play of porting ArduPilot to Linux. ArduPilot is the open source software which controls our own Vulture 2 spaceplane on the 3DR Pixhawk autopilot. As Tridge demonstrated, it …
Lester Haines, 20 Jan 2015

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: 1.5 MILLION SCOVILLE masala omelette

"Lester Haines is evil. Not once did he ever say, 'No Shax, don't do it'." Those were the last words heard yesterday from Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) rocket wrangler Paul "Shax" Shackleton after he recklessly took our post-pub nosh neckfiller recipe for masala omelette, added two Carolina Reaper chilli peppers to …
Lester Haines, 16 Jan 2015
Willowra Road Closed map from the Northern Territory government

Australian desert deluge demonstrates why we're doing it

It rained in central Australia last week. And in Willowra, the remote community we visited to figure out what happens when the Internet comes to town and performed a Windows 7 upgrade, it rained so much that last Saturday the town got three times its mean monthly rainfall. And that was on top of Friday's rain, which doubled the …
Simon Sharwood, 14 Jan 2015
Plate of lengua ready to serve

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: Hot Spanish tongue action

Let's face it, anyone with any sense knows cows are far more agreeable when they're in pieces, and while throwing prime bovine bits on the barbecue is one the discerning gourmet's preferred methods of serving Miss Daisy, there are parts which, for whatever reason, have fallen from favour among Brit carnivores. We can't speak for …
Lester Haines, 10 Jan 2015

LOHAN sponsor Pulse-Eight: Supplier of hi-def TV to dogs

It's fair to say that providing high-definition video to dogs was not a mission priority for the Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) team, but when a certain Pulse-Eight answered our Kickstarter tin-rattling last year, we were suddenly presented with the chance to push the envelope of canine entertainment solutions. UK- …
Lester Haines, 7 Jan 2015

Festive post-pub noshtastic neckfiller: HEARTY HOG MAW

We're now well into the season of festive excess, and doubtless readers will already be sustaining a severe pummelling to livers and credit cards in equal measure. We can't do much to mitigate the effects of excess Yule spending, but we can offer you something substantial and yet a bit different to soak up the booze: the hearty …
Lester Haines, 26 Dec 2014
The Wirliyatjarrayi Learning Centre

Reg Oz chaps plot deep desert comms upgrade

It's been a while since The Reg travelled to the remote Australian community of Willowra to perform a Windows XP upgrade, and longer still since we updated readers on our plan to improve the internet connection in the town's adult learning centre. We'd like to fix the internet problem because the Wirliyatjarrayi Learning Centre …

Vulture 2 design hero describes epic 'hobby' project

It's a traditional SPB tip of the hat today to Vulture 2 spaceplane designer Chris Dodd, who's been chewing the fat with The Engineer about his involvement with the Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) project. Chris Dodd and the virtual Vulture 2 on a computer monitor Long-term LOHAN fans will recall Chris (pictured …
Lester Haines, 19 Dec 2014
Lester firing an AR-16 at the gun range

American bacon cured with AR-15 assault rifle

It's been quite a week for the Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) team, as myself and Edge Research Laboratory's David Patterson travelled to Spaceport America in New Mexico, and took delivery of the Vulture 2 spaceplane in Denver, picking up a couple of rocket motor reloads along the way. We covered plenty of road …
Lester Haines, 17 Dec 2014
Our LOHAN mission patch design

El Reg's mighty rocket spaceplane Vulture 2 arrives in US of A

The Vulture 2 spaceplane arrived safely in the USA last week, and is currently resting at a secure facility in Denver courtesy of Jeff Anderton of video production outfit Mass Transit. Our rocket ship's relocation came as part of my own trip Stateside, which saw myself and Edge Research Lab's David Patterson on a reccy to …
Lester Haines, 16 Dec 2014
Our Playmonaut on the runway at Spaceport America

LOHAN's Plucky Playmonaut touches down at Spaceport America

Our plucky Playmonaut sensationally landed at Spaceport America in New Mexico last Thursday, although sadly not this time at the controls of the Register's soaraway Vulture 2 rocket ship. The diminutive Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) pilot walked the tarmac of the fabled gateway to the heavens as myself and David …

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: The fantastical Francesinha

Legend has it that in the 1960s, one Daniel da Silva returned to his native Portugal following a stint in France and Belgium, with a vision of adapting the classic grilled ham and cheese croque-monsieur for local palates. The result was the Francesinha ("Frenchie"), an example of what happens when you take a simple sarnie, crank …
Lester Haines, 6 Dec 2014

LOHAN sponsor Lucidica explains the benefits of being French

Back in October, the Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) team welcomed our magnificent Kickstarter sponsors to Vulture Central, and among those who rolled up to be frisked by security at the door were representatives of London-based IT support firm Lucidica. The Lucidica team at Vulture Central With fighting livers at …
Lester Haines, 26 Nov 2014

Bond villains lament as Wicked Lasers withdraw death ray

Wannabe Bond villains who'd been planning a world-domination strategy involving sharks armed with a frikkin' lasers should be aware that Wicked Lasers has announced it's withdrawing its "horrendously dangerous" handheld death rays. Long exposure shot showing laser in street According to a brief email from the company's press …
Lester Haines, 24 Nov 2014
Our plucky Playmonaut celebrates his riches with a bevy of beauties

NXT: The first SPAAAACE cryptocurrency

It's fair to say that our Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) mission has attracted a broad spectrum of sponsors, and among those who've climbed aboard is NXT, which aims to be the first cryptocurrency into space, or at least the stratosphere. NXT is a Bitcoin rival launched in 2013, "currently positioned at #5 by …
Lester Haines, 20 Nov 2014

Vulture 2 spaceplane tumbles onto BBC World Service

We invite Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) fans to stick the kettle on, make a nice cuppa and enjoy a recent interview myself and Vulture 2 rocket motor wrangler Paul "Lord Shax" Shackleton did with Gareth Mitchell for the BBC World Service's Click. Good stuff, and we'd like to add that the Southampton Uni design boys …
Lester Haines, 18 Nov 2014

Give it up for SecQuest - a rabbit-hunting spaceplane sponsor

We invite Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) fans to give it up today for SecQuest, one of the magnificent corporate responders to our Kickstarter tin-rattling to take the Vulture 2 ballocket launch to Spaceport America. We'll be bringing you details on all our splendid sponsors in due course, but let's kick off with a …
Lester Haines, 17 Nov 2014
Selection of eggs on the bar

Post-pub nosh neckfiller: The MIGHTY Scotch egg

It's been two years since we at El Reg's Special Projects Bureau brought hungry readers the last of our post-pub nosh deathmatches – a lively head-to-head featuring souse versus scrapple – and by popular demand we've decided to reheat the concept as part of Vulture Central's Weekend Edition. To recap, the idea was to present …
Lester Haines, 15 Nov 2014

Lindsay Lohan ignores El Reg's tender twitterly advances

We're distraught to report that thesp Lindsay Lohan has ignored a recent Twitter request for a few words on our Low Orbit Helium Assisted Navigator (LOHAN) mission - the audacious namesake ballocket initiative which will see her moniker written gloriously across the stratosphere. Our tweet to Lindsay Lohan No doubt Ms Lohan …
Lester Haines, 7 Nov 2014