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Post-PC era? PAH! Apple says Macs OUTSOLD iPads in Q4

Peak tablet In case you'd forgotten that Apple is making money hand over fist, the company announced on Monday yet another record financial quarter – thanks to its iPhones and Macs, but no thanks to its iPads. The House that Steve Built said the fourth quarter of its 2014 financial year – ending September 27 – was its best ever Q4, as Mac …
Shaun Nichols, 21 Oct 2014
Apple iPhone 6

Apple flings iOS 8.1 at world+dog: Our AMAZEBALLS 9-step installation guide

Apple has rolled out iOS 8.1, enabling features on the iPhone 6 and other new Apple devices. The company said the 8.1 update will allow users to begin using the Apple Pay platform with their iPhone 6 and 6 Plus NFC-enabled handsets. This allows users to link their bank accounts with the Apple Pay software, so when the phone is …
Shaun Nichols, 20 Oct 2014

China is ALREADY spying on Apple iCloud users, claims watchdog

Last week Apple CEO Tim Cook was very happy that the iPhone 6 is at last going on sale in China. But it seems the Chinese government has its own plans for owners of the new device. According to censorship watchdog Greatfire.org, Chinese state hackers began staging a massive man-in-the-middle attack against Apple iCloud.com users …
Iain Thomson, 20 Oct 2014
Apple Watch

Microsoft to enter the STRUGGLE of the HUMAN WRIST

The battle for the future of the human wrist entered a new phase on Monday after it was claimed that tech goliath Microsoft is planning to release its own wearable computer in the coming weeks. If true, this would mean that Redmond's smartwatch would hit stores some way in advance of Apple's own wrist 'puter, which is expected …
Team Register, 20 Oct 2014

Ex-US Navy fighter pilot MIT prof: Drones beat humans - I should know

She’s a huge advocate of drones — quite a surprising position to take for a first class fighter pilot. Mary "Missy" Cummings was one of the US Navy’s first female fighter pilots, taking to the air after the service lifted its ban on women in combat, and flying from 1988 to 1999. She piloted F18 Hornets and became one of the Navy …
Sony Xperia Z3 Android smartphone

Xperia Z3: Crikey, Sony – ANOTHER flagship phondleslab?

Review The decisions that must be going on at Sony’s mobile R&D division are certainly intriguing, if not baffling. Six months after it was launched, the Xperia Z2 has been replaced by the Z3 and barely nine months after it was launched, the Z1 Compact has been replaced by the Z3 Compact (there wasn’t a Z2 Compact, so don’t panic). …
Alun Taylor, 20 Oct 2014
Image two from the patent document

Hey, iPhone 6 fanbois: Apple's bonk to 'Pay' app IS GO

Apple will open up its new bonk-to-pay system to its newest phones, the iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus, today, allowing fanbois to bonk shiny-shinys to purchase stuff online or at 220,000 stores. However, non-Americans need not cut up their cards just yet, because Apple Pay is only available Stateside and it is unclear when it will …
Jasper Hamill, 20 Oct 2014

IBM: Please, take our chip unit. We'll give you $1.5 billion

Big Blue is going to become slightly less Big and Blue by paying Global Foundries $1.5bn to take on its chip-making business, according to multiple media reports. The giant's retreat from hardware continues following the transfer of the X86 server business to Lenovo. Bloomberg and others reported an IBM statement saying it is …
Chris Mellor, 20 Oct 2014
The Tardis: Oooo-eee-ooooo © BBC 1963, Courtesy of BBC Worldwide

Doctor Who and the Dalek: 10-year-old tests BBC programming game

Doctor Who has been pressganged into the BBC’s “Make it Digital” push to help kids understand computers rather than just playing with them. Its answer: an educational video game. The cunning plan is to sweeten the task of understanding basic coding by sneaking it into something that is fun, in order to reach the kids who don’t …
Dominic Connor, 20 Oct 2014

WAITER! There's a Flappy Bird in my Lollipop!

Google's practice of leaving Easter Eggs in Android appears to have continued, with a chap spotting a Flappy Bird clone in the new version 5.0, aka Lollipop, release. Here's his video of how to invoke the game, and a look at its gameplay. That Flappy Bird aficionados among you will notice that the game scrolls from right to …
Simon Sharwood, 20 Oct 2014
Jaguar XJS modified for fuel efficiency

Want a more fuel efficient car? Then redesign it – here's how

Crawling from the Wreckage Cars are mass-produced consumer products sold to users who mostly know very little about them. They are optimised to make a profit for the manufacturer, so low build cost is paramount for most manufacturers – which automatically excludes many design and engineering ideas that would raise efficiency. John Watkinson has been busy …
John Watkinson, 19 Oct 2014

Apple SILENCES Bose, YANKS headphones from stores

Apple has quietly removed Bose headphones from its stores, following a noise-cancelling patent spat that Cupertino settled with the music tech company last week. The latest move, spotted by 9to5Mac, comes after Bose slung a sueball at Apple-owned headphone maker Beats in July this year. At the time, Bose alleged that Apple had …
Kelly Fiveash, 18 Oct 2014
Tim Cook as Mr T

Slabba-dabba-GOLD! Apple kicks off presales of fingerprint-loving iPads

Fanbois can now pre-order Apple's iPad Air 2 and iPad Mini 3 online, after the company unveiled its latest fondleslabs on Thursday. Depending on the spec of the latest iPads, customers can expect to wait anything between two and six working days before the devices are shipped, according to the UK version of Apple's online store …
Team Register, 18 Oct 2014
Regina Egbert, El Reg's virtual news anchor

New gadgets and the future of tech with Regina Eggbert

Vid Youtube Video Animated eggspert avatar Regina Eggbert takes you through a quick rundown of this week's top tech news. Eggspect news on new gadgets and the technologies of the future and find out more here, here, here and here. ® Regina Egbert, El Reg's virtual news anchor
Samsung Chromebook 2 with Intel processor

Don't shoot – I'm un-ARM-ed! Samsung whips out Intel Chromebook 2

Score another point for Chipzilla in its quest for relevance in the mobile market: Samsung has announced a new, low-cost Chromebook that's powered by an Intel processor. Not that Intel-powered Chromebooks are anything new, really. The very first batch were all based on Atom chips, and in July, Acer even went as far as to release …
Neil McAllister, 17 Oct 2014
Apple iPhone 6 and 6 Plus

Man, that iPhone 6 Plus won't fit in my pocket. Oh, here's a mobe store that'll resize my jeans

A retailer in China has found a novel way to accommodate the added dimensions of Apple's iPhone 6 Plus – adjust customers' pants* to fit the large handset. Tech in Asia spotted a China Unicom store offering free tailor services to customers who purchase Apple's 5.5in phablet. The in-store tailor. Credit: Amakura on Weibo The …
Shaun Nichols, 17 Oct 2014
Apple iPhone 6

iPhone 6 shunned by fanbois in Apple's GREAT FAIL of CHINA

The belated Chinese launch of the iPhone 6 appears to have been a total flop after just 100 people queued outside a flagship store to buy the new mobe. In most parts of the world, the launch of a new Apple iPhone causes a level of fanboi hysteria that is more like a One Direction concert than a consumer technology launch. But …
Jasper Hamill, 17 Oct 2014
Kobo Aura H2O e-reader

Watersports-friendly e-reader: Kobo's Aura H2O is literary when wet

Review Now that even the cheapest tablets are notching up increased battery life these days, it seems that the ever-ready e-reader could run the risk of becoming extinct. Kobo Aura H2O e-reader Kobo's Aura H2O hi-res waterproof e-reader In recent months Barnes and Noble has announced a partnership with Samsung to make Nook tablets. …
Mark Diston, 17 Oct 2014

It's not always about you: Why the Apple Watch is all about China

Analysis If you’re wondering why you don’t want the new Apple Watch as much as you think you should, don’t fret, it’s because you’re not Chinese. When it was launched last month, all eyes were on what innovations Apple had been cooking up. Sure, a watch would likely tell you when someone was calling, or pop up your emails, but this is …
Kieren McCarthy, 17 Oct 2014
Cassette tape exposed

Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape

2015 will see the internet finally replace an answering machine that uses cassettes as its storage medium, or at least the answering machine used by alt.rock outfit They Might Be Giants' iconic Dial-A-Song service. They Might Be Giants created Dial-A-Song in 1983 when one member broke his wrist and the other's home was burgled. …
Simon Sharwood, 17 Oct 2014

AMD-AMMIT! Hundreds face axe at chip maker as PC, graphics crash

Following a grim earnings report on Thursday, AMD has announced a restructuring plan that includes axing seven per cent of its workforce by the end of the year. The plan will see AMD issuing layoff notices to about 710 employees worldwide, and is expected to cost the chipmaker $57m in severance payments. "While decisions that …
Neil McAllister, 17 Oct 2014
iPad mini 3

iPad AIR 2 and iPad MINI 3, 5K iMac: World feels different today – and it IS

Pics Confirming what had been widely expected, Apple has unveiled two new iPad models – small and large – and laid out plans for a third. There's also a new shiny 5K iMac. The big news, though, is that the "soft SIM" war his finally begun. At a launch event in Cupertino for its pet hacks, Apple said the new iPad Air 2 will be …
Shaun Nichols, 16 Oct 2014
Tim Cook as Mr T

The Apple launch AS IT HAPPENED: Totally SERIOUS coverage, not for haters

Live Tweetblurt So here it is, the edge-of-the-seat rollercoaster ride as seen from Vulture West HQ (sadly we lost our invite to Cupertino). We take you now back in time to last night: Today's the AMAZING day, no, MOMENT Apple is expected to launch new MAGICAL iPads – quite possibly the iPad Air 2 and iPad Mini 3 – plus perhaps a proper …
Chris Williams, 16 Oct 2014
will.i.am named Intel 'director of creative innovation'

Will.i.am gets CUFFED as he announces his new wristjob, the PULS

Rapper and business mogul Will.i.am has announced plans to release a new piece of wrist-based, wearable technology. Bearing the semi-eponymous name i.amPULS, it will allow the wearer to make calls without using a mobile phone. The diminutive colossus of pop appeared at a distinctly unglamorous Salesforce conference in San …
Jasper Hamill, 16 Oct 2014
Harman Kardon vintage advert 1957

Is living with Dolby Atmos worth the faff?

Breaking Fad I confess, I came to the home debut of Dolby Atmos spluttering with enthusiasm. Some of the best movie audio I’ve ever heard has been in Dolby Atmos equipped theatres and early demonstrations of the domestic version seemed tantalisingly authentic. My stereocilia positively craved this revolutionary, object-based sound system. …
Steve May, 16 Oct 2014

Citrix: Wearables allow conference calls 'while rocking a baby to sleep'

Citrix has decided that owners of Android Wear devices will want to log on to conference calls, and has tweaked its GoToMeeting client so it runs on the wearable kit. The updated app can be found here. Citrix says the app is a good idea because you can “Take a jog while you’re taking a meeting.” Which sounds like it will work …
Simon Sharwood, 16 Oct 2014
Nexus Family

Aboard the GOOD SHIP LOLLIPOP, there's a Mobe and a Slab and a TELLYBOX

Pics Google has released its latest iteration of the Android OS, plus a triple deployment for the new software in three new devices – a trendy big phone, a slablet and a telly box. Nexus Family New Nexus family to go with the new OS Android 5.0, codenamed Lollipop, got an extensive preview during June's Google I/O conference, and …
Iain Thomson, 15 Oct 2014
Asus Padfone

Intel, Asus charge sneak into US mobe market with ATOM-powered PadFone X mini

Intel on Wednesday reached a new milestone in its quest to become a player in the mobile phone market, with the launch of the first-ever Atom-powered Android 4.4 smartphone for the US market. The Asus PadFone X mini will feature not just a dual-core Intel Atom Z2560 processor clocked at 1.6GHz but also an Intel XMM 7160 LTE …
Neil McAllister, 15 Oct 2014
iPad iPod app

Apple hit by INSIDER LEAK: New iPad Mini 3, iPad Air 2 blabbed

Pic Apple is expected to show off new iPads at an event on Thursday – but if you want to know the features of Cupertino's latest fondleslabs before they're announced, you need look no further than the company's own user manuals. Pages in Apple's iPad User Guide for iOS 8.1, which hit the iTunes Store on Wednesday, diagram some of …
Shaun Nichols, 15 Oct 2014
The MQ-9 Reaper drone in flight

Footie fracas: MYSTERY DRONE waves flag, incites Balkan brawl

A banner-dangling partisan drone caused a mass brawl between rivals players, fans and officials during a Euro 2016 qualifying match between Serbian and Albania on Tuesday night. Suspended beneath the unmanned aerial vehicle was a banner bearing the Albanian flag and a map that included Kosovo, along with the slogan “greater …
Gavin Clarke, 15 Oct 2014
Getac F110 rugged Windows tablet

It's a TAB-tastrophe – 83 million fewer units to ship in 2014

The mist has cleared in Gartner’s crystal ball and the resident mystics have deduced that the tab revolution is coming to an end: some 83 million fewer fondleslabs are to be flogged worldwide this year than previously forecast. Shipments of slablets into retailers and tech disties will still grow 10.6 per cent this year to 229 …
Paul Kunert, 15 Oct 2014
3D Robotics drone in Richard Branson's house

A drone of one's own: Reg buyers' guide for UAV fanciers

Heard the hype and want to buy a drone — just uncertain which model to pick? Well, forget the hardware, the devil is in the software. Drones are cool, undeniably, but with prices starting at four pints of lager, and running to a small house it's tough to decide what's worth buying. So El Reg has been chatting to some drone …
Bill Ray, 15 Oct 2014
Samsung Google Nexus 10 Android tablet

Don't wait for that big iPad, order a NEXUS 9 instead, industry little bird says

Google is planning to steal some of the thunder from Apple's October 16 event by quietly unveiling a new tablet running the next generation of its Android OS the day before, a report claims. Cupertino is widely expected to take wraps off its latest iPad on Thursday – which may or may not be a 12.9-inch "maxi" model that may or …
Neil McAllister, 14 Oct 2014

Windows XP refresh will DO NOTHING for lame PC market next year

The XP refresh provided the boon that computer makers and their respective channel suppliers clung to following a period of lean sales, but the majority of replacement have now taken place. This is according to market beanie Gartner, which estimates 70 per cent of the 30 million installed based of machines across Western Europe …
Paul Kunert, 14 Oct 2014
flames_fire_destruction

PANTS on FIRE? Too late for you. But others will benefit from singed trouser phone alert

Boffins at Stanford University have invented a system which could banish the dreaded trouser fire to the annals of tech history. Regular readers of The Reg will know that the batteries used in mobile phones have a horrible tendency to blow up at inopportune moments. Whether it's an iPad Nano going kaboom in Japan, a Swiss woman …
Jasper Hamill, 14 Oct 2014
Ada Lovelace, credit 2D Goggles

Ada Lovelace Day: Meet the 6 women who gave you the 'computer'

Ada Lovelace Day Ada Lovelace Day, 14 October, marks the achievements of women in the fields of science, technology, engineering and maths (STEM). Women have ascended to great heights in the technology sector – Ginni Rometty is chairperson, president and chief exec of IBM, Meg Whitman and Marissa Mayer are CEOs of Hewlett-Packard and Yahoo! …
Gavin Clarke, 14 Oct 2014
Tim Cook as Mr T

Apple's new 'iPad Air 2' sliced open, revealing (possible) A8X core

Cruel Apple fans have exposed the innards of what they claim is the forthcoming iPad Air 2, giving the world a glimpse of what could be the most intimate parts of a slab millions will soon be fondling. The rabid fanbois who run a Taiwanese site called Apple Club have posted pictures purportedly showing the rudest parts of the …
Jasper Hamill, 14 Oct 2014
Nokia sign dismantled, with letters rearranged to spell 'ONKIA'

Finnish PM: Apple has DESTROYED FINLAND

The Prime Minister of Finland has claimed that Apple destroyed his country's biggest industry: mobile phone manufacturing. As if that wasn't bad enough, Alexander Stubb went on to say that Cupertino had also annihilated the paper-making industry, which was his nation's other pride and joy. However, a leading Finnish analyst has …
Jasper Hamill, 14 Oct 2014
Tesco Hudl 2 Android tablet

Son of Hudl: Tesco flogs new Atom-powered 8.3-inch Android tablet

Review Retailer own-brand tablets are unholy piles of rubbish, right? Usually, yes. But last year’s Tesco Hudl rather bucked the trend. While there was nothing individually outstanding about Tesco’s first tablet, it had a good HD screen, a decent Rockchip CPU, a more-than-adequate battery life and was well glued together. For £129 – …
Alun Taylor, 14 Oct 2014
Alien: Isolation

Lights off, nappies on! It's Alien: Isolation and The Evil Within

Game Theory H.R. Giger’s Necronomicon used to be my bedtime book of choice. There’s something about the design of the original Alien that left me with a pseudo sexual queasiness, all moist egg vaginas and huge phallic headed xenomorphs. As the flickering 20th Century Fox Logo fills my screen, like some Videodrome VHS tape, I get a familiar …
Lucy Orr, 14 Oct 2014
Welcome to Netscape

Netscape Navigator - the browser that started it all - turns 20

Netscape Navigator, the browser credited with taking the World Wide Web into the mainstream, was released twenty years ago yesterday, on October 13th 1994. Netscape, the company, was born after tech investor Jim Clark spotted the Mosaic browser developed in part by then-wunderkind Marc Andreessen. At the time of the company's …
Simon Sharwood, 14 Oct 2014
Apple iPhone 6

Apple's iPhone bonk to 'Pay' app launches on Monday

Update Cupertino's plans to dominate the world of pay-by-bonk have been exposed following the leak of what appears to be a TOP-SECRET Apple Pay training manual. All Apple staffers will apparently take part in an hour's training on the new bonk-to-pay system, which is expected to be launched later this month following an event on 16 …
Jasper Hamill, 13 Oct 2014