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Exploding Kitten Goal Cartoon

Kickstarter folk pay $8 MEELLION for joys of EXPLODING KITTENS

Cat-loving Kickstarter users have coughed up more than $8m for the pleasure of Exploding Kittens, dethroning hackable games console Ouya as the crowdfunding website's most highly funded game of all time. Exploding Kittens is a comedy card game cooked up by XBox chaps Elan Lee and Shane Small, along with Matthew Inman, the brains …
Gareth Corfield, 21 Feb 2015
Apple 15in MacBook Pro with Retina Display

Apple: Fine, we admit it – MacBook Pros suffer wonky GPU crapness

Faced with a class-action lawsuit, Apple has agreed to fix MacBook Pros with knackered graphics electronics free of charge. The iPhone giant said its expensive notebooks must be repaired to address faulty video hardware that causes frequent restarts, distorted graphics and blank screens. The crappy models are the 15in and 17in …
Shaun Nichols, 20 Feb 2015
Monty Python foot in UHD TV

Euro broadcast industry still in a fug over that 4K-ing UHD telly

Breaking Fad The European TV industry’s uneasy shift to Ultra HD came under the spotlight at an industry confab organised by Astra satellite owner SES last week. Monty Python foot in UHD TV One step at a time: UHD TV isn't on every broadcasters To Do list Although after listening to TV manufacturers, researchers, market analysts and …
Steve May, 20 Feb 2015
Apple Watch

How many Watches will Apple flog? 20, er, 18.5, no, five, wait, 50 million!

With the Apple Watch allegedly just weeks away from going on sale, industry pundits are weighing in on their predictions for the Cupertino wearable. And boy, do those estimates differ, with wide ranges of price tags and sales figures. According to analysts, the Apple watch will be a hit, unless it's not, and its cost will range …
Shaun Nichols, 20 Feb 2015
Sleeping

Android malware hijacks power button, empties wallet while you sleep

Security biz AVG has spotted an outbreak of a new kind of Android malware that will come alive even when the phone is supposedly switched off. The software nasty is able to do this by hijacking the mobe's power-off sequence. Android malware No shutdown for you! Part of the Android shutdown sequence "After pressing the power …
Iain Thomson, 19 Feb 2015
The SAMSUNG GALAXY ALPHA lies on a white background, displays Home screen icons.

Samsung buys LoopPay ... to be better at bonking than Apple

Just as rumours that Samsung is about to move into the mobile payments space at next week’s Mobile World Congress were reaching their peak, the South Korean firm announced the acquisition of LoopPay. The LoopPay technology uses Magnetic Secure Transmission technology to turn point-of-sale terminals where you'd normally swipe a …
Simon Rockman, 19 Feb 2015
The Order: 1886

The Order: 1886 – Round Table gaming's all right on the knight

Game Theory Sony was obviously hoping The Order: 1886 would be the Holy Grail of exclusive releases for the PS4, but early rumours of shaky game mechanics and overly long cutscenes combined with jilted quick time events seemed like a curse from Morgan Le Fay. The Order: 1886 Roll out the flags, The Order: 1886 has hit the streets It has …
Lucy Orr, 19 Feb 2015
Hello Barbie

Hello Barbie: Hang on, this Wi-Fi doll records your child's voice?

Vid Toymaker Mattel has unveiled a high-tech Barbie that will listen to your child, record its words, send them over the internet for processing, and talk back to your kid. It will email you, as a parent, highlights of your youngster's conversations with the toy. If Samsung's spying smart TVs creeped you out, this doll may be …
Iain Thomson, 19 Feb 2015
Ryan Seacrest

TV Idol star's keyboard upstart idolizes our gear too much – BlackBerry

Blackberry has fired off a second lawsuit against Typo Innovations, claiming the celebrity-backed startup "slavishly copied" the design of its smartphones for the Typo2 – a physical keyboard strapped to iPhones. Typo's keyboard with Blackberry's Spot the difference In April, Blackberry won a court order against Typo, …
Iain Thomson, 18 Feb 2015
Qualcomm

Qualcomm bungs ARM's beefy 64-bit A72s into new mobe brains

Qualcomm today unveiled four additions to its family of Snapdragon system-on-chips – revealing the specs of some smartphones and tablets that'll appear later this year. Indeed, the California-based chip designer said its new Snapdragon 620, 618, 425 and 415 packages will turn up in gear shipping in the second half of 2015. Here …
Shaun Nichols, 18 Feb 2015

UGH... opposable thumbs are so tiresome! Why not mount your iPhone on your face?

Tired of having to move your arm slightly and make a tedious grabbing action each and every time you pick up your iPhone? Apple has the answer: a wireless display that enables you to mount your device on your face, according to a recently discovered patent. Apple filed the patent for a "head-mounted display system" to "allow …
Kat Hall, 18 Feb 2015

Alca-Lu cooks up 400 Gbps router interconnect

Increasing data centre interconnect requirements have prompted Alcatel-Lucent to introduce 400 Gbps line cards for its high-end routers. Manish Gulyani, product marketing veep for the company's IP Business, told The Register there are multiple aims with the launch: it eliminates kit that would otherwise be needed to interconnect …
Windows 10 for phone

Windows 10 for phones: Stepping towards the One True Windows

Microsoft has released an early preview of Windows Phone 10, and we put it through its paces on a Lumia 630, one of just a few supported devices. In the official announcement, Director of Program Management Gabe Aul does not refer to Windows Phone 10, but rather “Windows 10 Technical Preview for phones”. It's all part of …
Tim Anderson, 18 Feb 2015

Raspberry Pi, meet face: You're probably NOT Blighty's biggest PC maker!

The Raspberry Pi Foundation today announced it has sold its five-millionth machine, and said that in so doing it could claim the crown as the UK's best-selling computer ever. That the Pi guys have done well is not in dispute, but the Reg archives cast doubt on the claim it's now the best-selling Brit computer ever. As we wrote …
Darren Pauli, 18 Feb 2015
Sony SmartEyeGlass

Sony's super-frumpy SmartEyeglass goggles are $840 Google Glasses

Pics Do you like Google Glass, but wish the $1,500 headset was more cumbersome, less discreet, and a little easier on the wallet? Well, Sony has just the thing for you (and perhaps only you). The Japanese electronics giant has announced an augmented reality headset that will ship in March. Dubbed SmartEyeglass, the nerdy-looking …
Shaun Nichols, 17 Feb 2015
14nm Samsung Exynos 7 Octa

Samsung pulls ahead of Qualcomm in mobe chip race with 14nm Exynos

Samsung says it has begun mass production of silicon based on its new 14-nanometer FinFET process, pulling ahead of its competitors in the race to reduce the transistor size of mobile computing chips. The first product to make use of the tech will be a new version of Samsung's own Exynos 7 Octa, with adoption to expand to other …
Neil McAllister, 17 Feb 2015
GEC PABX 3 switchboard and operator

Are you ready to ditch the switchboard and move to IP telephony?

When I was growing up it was something of a novelty to have a phone in the house. And when I started working in IT in 1989 my company was still encouraging staff to wait to make calls until after 1pm, when peak time ended. There was something unusual about the new phone system we deployed that year: the Philips Sopho-S was a …
Dave Cartwright, 17 Feb 2015

Apple Watch 'didn't work on HAIRY FANBOIS, was stripped of sensor tech'

Apple has scrapped certain health-monitoring technologies from its upcoming Watch, it's reported, following problems with sensors and regulations. Some of the features are too complicated, while others would have prompted unwanted attention from watchdogs, it's reported. We're told the Watch has failed to meet Cupertino's strict …
Kat Hall, 17 Feb 2015
Game of Thrones Season One Blu-ray disc set

Game of Moans: Sky coughs to BORKED set top box BALLS-UP

Sky customers have been complaining for months about a firmware update that has cocked up their set top boxes but the media giant has been slow to repair the glitch, it has been claimed. An unknown number of Sky HD boxes have been crashing, failing to record pre-set programmes or altogether disrupting the TV service. Sky has …
Kelly Fiveash, 17 Feb 2015
LG Prada KE850 - model

Qualcomm, ARM: We thought we had such HOT MODELS...

The history of mobile device processors is that of two companies, Qualcomm and ARM, both with unique licensing models which many envy but few can successfully copy or compete with. As the growth in the wireless world shifts to embedded and larger-screened devices, and the mobile chip balance of power moves towards China and Wi- …
Wireless Watch, 17 Feb 2015
Nvidia

Gamers reach for BFG after Nvidia turns back the overclock

Laptop-wielding gamers are up in arms over a driver update from Nvidia, which disables overclocking in the company's gaming-laptop-targeted GeForce GTX 900M devices. Those who installed the drivers had their clock settings wiped, and according to TechPowerUp, even third-party overclocking tools have been blocked. The change was …
Thecus N4310 4-bay NAS box

Thecus N4310 4-bay: A NAS-ty beast for the budget-conscious

Review When The Reg did a roundup of four bay NAS units a few months back, it was mentioned that it was intended to put the latest Thecus model, the N4310, up against some of its competitors. The company was finalising some firmware tweaks before launch, though, so it wasn’t available in time. But now I’ve got my hands on one to see …
Simon Crisp, 16 Feb 2015
Tim Cook as Mr T

Apple drives itself round bend: PITIES THE FOOL who inks deal with carmakers – source

Hours after rumours surfaced suggesting that Apple was working on an "automotive product" with established carmakers – new gossip apparently reveals that Cupertino will go it alone with a self-driving electric vehicle. The Tim Cook-run firm is said to be discussing its plans with eggheads at car manufacturers, but purely – it …
Kelly Fiveash, 14 Feb 2015
EverQuest

Daybreak Game Company GOES TITSUP after painful Sony DIVORCE

Updated Daybreak Game Company, formerly known as Sony Online Entertainment, has been suffering outage issues with its service, just days after the outfit admitted it was laying off staff following its unexpected divorce from Sony. The firm behind the pioneering massively multiplayer online (MMO) role-playing game EverQuest, among other …
Kelly Fiveash, 14 Feb 2015
View-master

Smartphone NOT INCLUDED: Google plays with Mattel – plugs VR into retro toy

Toy manufacturer Mattel has inked an undisclosed deal with Google to turn its View-Master product into a "digital experience" for kids. The retro stereoscopic toy has been rebooted for youngsters as an "immersive 360-degree" virtual reality plaything, apparently. Mattel said it now works with Google's virtual reality headset …
Kelly Fiveash, 14 Feb 2015
F-Type photography by <a target="_blank" href="http://www.swarbrick.photography/">Guy Swarbrick</a>

Jaguar F-Type: A beautiful British thoroughbred

Vulture at the Wheel The Jaguar F-Type Coupe is beautiful. It looks good in our pictures here but in the aluminium it’s even more wonderful. Before I got the car for review I saw one in traffic and my heart just sang. Designer Ian Callum is a genius and there are no bad angles, but front on and particularly three quarter rear it’s exceptional. There …
Simon Rockman, 14 Feb 2015
Kim Gordon, Girl In A Band book cover

To Explain the World, Girl in a Band and A Spool of Blue Thread

Page File El Reg bookworm Mark Diston looks at the latest from the literary world with a splendid overview of scientific discovery from Steven Weinberg. Musician Kim Gordon kisses and tells on her life in and outside the band Sonic Youth. And for a Valentine's flavour, we look at the latest from award-winning novelist Anne Tyler. To …
Mark Diston, 14 Feb 2015
Xbox Live

Microsoft: Oh, go on, Xbox Live user. Show us your spammer

The hugely annoying nuisance that has plagued email for decades has found its way into gaming, most recently spreading to affect their mobile and instant messaging experiences. Spammers are affecting online gaming, with Xbox users in particular reporting an increase in spam reaching them from multiple gamertags. In response …
John Leyden, 13 Feb 2015
Panasonic Toughbook CF-54

Think you’re hard? Check out the frozen Panasonic CF-54 Toughbook

Pics Thinner, lighter, harder. Pick any two right? Not according to the flacks from Panasonic who reckon the new CF-54 Toughbook is all three and more. In fact, they are suggesting that the CF-54 is the first semi-rugged laptop you may just want to splash out for, even if you are just a regular consumer. Albeit one with deep pockets …
Alun Taylor, 13 Feb 2015
Evolve

Evolve: A shoot-em-up full of scary monsters and super creeps

Game Theory Bursting with more monsters than a Godzilla convention, Evolve is a multiplayer feast that delivers a deadly game of cat-and-mouse between human hunters and monstrous beasts. Turtle Rock's title is a rare kind of game, in that it's entirely reliant upon other players for it to be a worthwhile experience. Evolve Abe, your …
Mike Plant, 13 Feb 2015
Slick looking picture of  xiaomi's Mi3 Android smartphone

Show me the money, America! It's time to learn how to pronounce 'Xiaomi'

Xiaomi, the Chinese electronics upstart trumpeted as the David to Apple's Goliath (but is instead sticking it to Samsung) is planning a gentle entry into the US. At a showcase in San Francisco, Xiaomi announced it was going to start selling gadgets and gizmos Stateside – and certainly not phones nor TVs. It will instead start …
Simon Rockman, 13 Feb 2015
Works with gloves

Kyocera: Torque among yourselves on our unbreakable ruggedmobe

Japanese mobile phone manufacturer Kyocera is looking to re-enter the European mobile phone market with an exceptionally rugged phone called Torque. It won’t be the first time there have been Kyocera phones on sale in the UK: the company sold GSM devices here 15 years ago with the TG200 and there were dual-mode Iridium/GSM …
Simon Rockman, 13 Feb 2015
eDP 1.4a

FOCUS! 7680 x 4320 notebook and fondleslab screens are coming

An update to the DisplayPort standard is promising to bring about a new line of 8k screens for notebooks, tablets and all-in-ones. The Video Electronics Standards Association (VESA) has published a new standard for embedded display hardware. The eDP 1.4a update will support connections of 8.1Gbps per-channel and allow for …
Shaun Nichols, 13 Feb 2015
OnePlus One Android smartphone

So long, Cyanogen! OnePlus says its future belongs to OxygenOS

Upstart quasi-Android smartphone maker OnePlus says it has hired an assortment of "Android rockstars" for its OxygenOS team, who will be in charge of developing the homegrown firmware that will soon ship as standard on its phones. "Our team has some of the most talented industrial designers and mechanical engineers in the world …
Neil McAllister, 13 Feb 2015

BLAME ENGINEERS: Workstation sales soar by 8.9 per cent a year

One of the more prized wins in reseller-land is a sale of workstations, because the heavy lifting such machines perform generate lots of data. That means a chance to talk storage, networks and many other topics, making workstations a fabulous foot in the door. Plenty of folks will therefore be rather happy that market-watcher …
Simon Sharwood, 13 Feb 2015
Microsoft Surface Pro 3

Microsoft loves Surface pen maker N-trig so much it bought it – report

Microsoft has reportedly gobbled up N-trig, makers of digital pen technology for PCs and tablets, for an undisclosed sum. The sale of the Kfar Saba, Israel–based firm was reported by the Israeli business daily Globes, citing sources who valued the deal at around $200m. N-trig makes the pen tech for Microsoft's Surface Pro 3 …
Neil McAllister, 12 Feb 2015
Fitbit scabs

How's your F-ITCH-bit? Surge gizmo sparks rash of complaints, watchdog's attention

Fitbit Surge wearers are complaining about sore and scabby skin after strapping on the exercise-snooping wrist-gizmo. A US watchdog has told us it is probing the gripes. Having a break from my @fitbit Surge. Might need to stop wearing it - nice rash (and my skin isn't usually sensitive) pic.twitter.com/CNQwfEJO1X — Shaun Ewing …
Iain Thomson, 12 Feb 2015
Human cannonball

Microsoft launches wobbly Windows 10 phone preview for Lumia daredevils only

Some four months after it unveiled the first build of the Windows 10 Technical Preview, Microsoft has now kicked off the early access program for its smartphone OS, known as ... Windows 10 Technical Preview. The naming is in keeping with Redmond's insistence that Windows 10 will be a single operating system for all screens great …
Neil McAllister, 12 Feb 2015
Tesla's Elon Musk

Elon Musk's Tesla set to unveil home storage battery

Elon Musk's electric car company Tesla is about to unveil a home storage battery that could compete with the electricity companies as a power source, he said in an earnings call. Musk said yesterday the company has completed the design of the battery. "We are going to unveil the Tesla home battery for use for people's houses …
Kat Hall, 12 Feb 2015

HELP! Windows Phone update 8.1 broke my Lumia

Updated In less-than-pleasing news for Microsoft, a massive thread of Windows Phone moans is growing on its forums. Back in September 2014, Microsoft started rolling out Windows Phone update 8.1, with significant new features including the Cortana digital assistant and Word Flow keyboard. A nice update, but not for a subset of …
Tim Anderson, 12 Feb 2015
Tapper (1983)

Drinking games: Tapper 1983, this Bud's for you...

Antique Code Show So just as everyone is coming to the end of their January Dryathalon, I find the only thing I have on my mind is more beer. Indeed, I'm reminded of Tapper, which incorporates two of my favourite pastimes: drinking and gaming. Tapper (1983) Pour substitute? Tapper is an arcade classic and so iconic it’s even lovingly …
Lucy Orr, 12 Feb 2015
Mobile phone stolen by pickpocket

Now not even muggers want your iPhone

Bigwigs in London, New York City and San Francisco are well happy with the remote-triggered kill switches added to smartphones. And the three-city Save our Smartphones (SOS) coalition says mobe thefts are on the decrease. We're told: In San Francisco, overall smartphone thefts have dropped 27 per cent, and iPhone crime is down …
Shaun Nichols, 12 Feb 2015