Data Centre > BOFH

BOFH: Power corrupts, uninterrupted power corrupts absolutely

Episode 13 Episode 13 "THE POWER'S OUT!" the Boss shouts, blundering into Mission Control like a robotic vacuum in super-random turbo mode. "THE TRANSFORMER DOWN THE ROAD HAS EXPLO... hey, why are your lights still on?"
Simon Travaglia, 04 Sep 11:57

BOFH: Why, I LOVE work courses. Please tell me more, o wise one!

Episode 11 Episode 11 "... and so we thought that you might like to attend this two-day workshop in effective leadership techniques," the Boss burbles, rounding off the professional goal-setting exercise that company policy obliges him to do with me and any other contractor with a contract that's rolled over for more than five years.
Simon Travaglia, 14 Aug 13:01

BOFH: Knitting bobble hats on the steps of the guillotine

Episode 10 Episode 10 "Good news!" the Boss blurts, rocketing into Mission Control in a frenzy, “I’m going to be heading a new working party to improve website usability."
Simon Travaglia, 07 Aug 13:01

BOFH: My diary is MINE and mine alone, you petty HR gimps

Episode 9 Episode 9 "Wow, that's like the Matrix!" the Director's PA gasps.
Simon Travaglia, 31 Jul 11:38

BOFH: Don't go changing on Friday evenings, I don't wanna work that hard

Episode 8 Episode 8 "It's just a small change!" the Boss whines.
Simon Travaglia, 26 Jun 11:38

BOFH: Getting to the brown, nutty heart of the water cooler matter

Episode 6 Episode 6 "..and so we just mix all the ingredients together like this, tip it out onto a surface like so, and roll it into a roughly cylindrical shape. Now we just push in the extras and then pop it into the freezer for a few hours till it's nice and hard and easy to handle. And we're done," the PFY says with a flourish.
Simon Travaglia, 15 May 13:58

BOFH: Explain? All we need is this kay-sh with DDR3 Cortexiphan ...

Episode 5 The PFY has crossed the line. Even though he knows better, he's attempted to explain something technical to management.
Simon Travaglia, 18 Apr 09:00

BOFH: Never mind that old brick, look at this ink-stained BEAUTY

Episode 4 Episode 4 *Crash!* "Oh, I'm terribly sorry, I appear to have accidentally nudged it off the table" I say, as tears well up in the owner's eyes.
Simon Travaglia, 27 Mar 16:21

BOFH: Mmm, gotta love me some fresh BYOD dog roll

Episode 3 Episode 3 "Oh, Bring Your Own DEVICE!" the PFY blurts in mock realisation.
Simon Travaglia, 20 Mar 15:01
Santa Claus on his laptop

BOFH: Santa, bloody Santa

Episode 15 Episode 15
Simon Travaglia, 06 Dec 11:00

BOFH: We CAN do that with a Raspberry Pi, but think of the BODIES

Episode 8 Episode 8 "So what we'd like to do is have the lights turn on in the foyer when people come into the office," the Health and Safety rep says.
Simon Travaglia, 23 Aug 09:00
Cthulu springs from HP desktop printer

BOFH: Don't be afraid - we won't hurt your delicate, flimsy inkjet printer

Episode 5 Episode 5 "There's a problem with my printer," a user whines down the phone at the PFY.
Simon Travaglia, 26 Jul 09:58
Beginning SQL

BOFH: Go on, beancounter, type DROP TABLE asset;

Episode 4 "Don't put that there," I snap - calmly, but firmly, as a Beancounter goes to drop a chunk of IT detritus on my desk.
Simon Travaglia, 31 May 10:23

BOFH: My HELPDESK HELL - lies, phones lines and statistics

Episode 2 "I'm just a bit worried about these statistics," the Boss says, lurching into Mission Control with yet another swadge of meaningless numbers.
Simon Travaglia, 15 Mar 12:03