Data Centre > BOFH

BOFH: We're miracle workers. But you want us to fix THAT in 10 minutes?

Episode 16 "What do you mean 'why's it not working'," the PFY asks.
Simon Travaglia, 13 Nov 12:58

BOFH: I'm not doing this for the benefit of your health, you know

Episode 15 Episode 15 "Is he still there?" I ask the PFY, maintaining direct eye contact with him so that I can truthfully claim that I didn't see the Health and Safety guy hanging around the hallway to Mission Control like a bad smell.
Simon Travaglia, 25 Sep 11:39

BOFH: Press 1. Press 2. Press whatever you damn well LIKE

Episode 14 Episode 14 "You're the one who wanted it," I tell the Boss in response to his fuming.
Simon Travaglia, 18 Sep 12:25

BOFH: Power corrupts, uninterrupted power corrupts absolutely

Episode 13 Episode 13 "THE POWER'S OUT!" the Boss shouts, blundering into Mission Control like a robotic vacuum in super-random turbo mode. "THE TRANSFORMER DOWN THE ROAD HAS EXPLO... hey, why are your lights still on?"
Simon Travaglia, 04 Sep 11:57

BOFH: An architect and his own entirely avoidable downfall

Episode 12 Episode 12
Simon Travaglia, 28 Aug 12:57

BOFH: Why, I LOVE work courses. Please tell me more, o wise one!

Episode 11 Episode 11 "... and so we thought that you might like to attend this two-day workshop in effective leadership techniques," the Boss burbles, rounding off the professional goal-setting exercise that company policy obliges him to do with me and any other contractor with a contract that's rolled over for more than five years.
Simon Travaglia, 14 Aug 13:01

BOFH: Knitting bobble hats on the steps of the guillotine

Episode 10 Episode 10 "Good news!" the Boss blurts, rocketing into Mission Control in a frenzy, “I’m going to be heading a new working party to improve website usability."
Simon Travaglia, 07 Aug 13:01

BOFH: My diary is MINE and mine alone, you petty HR gimps

Episode 9 Episode 9 "Wow, that's like the Matrix!" the Director's PA gasps.
Simon Travaglia, 31 Jul 11:38

BOFH: Don't go changing on Friday evenings, I don't wanna work that hard

Episode 8 Episode 8 "It's just a small change!" the Boss whines.
Simon Travaglia, 26 Jun 11:38

BOFH: Step into my office. Now take a deep breath

Episode 7 Episode 7
Simon Travaglia, 05 Jun 15:21

BOFH: Getting to the brown, nutty heart of the water cooler matter

Episode 6 Episode 6 "..and so we just mix all the ingredients together like this, tip it out onto a surface like so, and roll it into a roughly cylindrical shape. Now we just push in the extras and then pop it into the freezer for a few hours till it's nice and hard and easy to handle. And we're done," the PFY says with a flourish.
Simon Travaglia, 15 May 13:58

BOFH: Explain? All we need is this kay-sh with DDR3 Cortexiphan ...

Episode 5 The PFY has crossed the line. Even though he knows better, he's attempted to explain something technical to management.
Simon Travaglia, 18 Apr 09:00

BOFH: Never mind that old brick, look at this ink-stained BEAUTY

Episode 4 Episode 4 *Crash!* "Oh, I'm terribly sorry, I appear to have accidentally nudged it off the table" I say, as tears well up in the owner's eyes.
Simon Travaglia, 27 Mar 16:21

BOFH: Mmm, gotta love me some fresh BYOD dog roll

Episode 3 Episode 3 "Oh, Bring Your Own DEVICE!" the PFY blurts in mock realisation.
Simon Travaglia, 20 Mar 15:01

BOFH: The ONE-NINE uptime solution

Episode 2 Episode 2
Simon Travaglia, 27 Feb 16:30

BOFH: The Great HellDesk geek leave seek

Episode 1 Episode 1
Simon Travaglia, 20 Feb 14:57
Stained glass angels

BOFH: A miracle on PFY Street

Episode 17 Episode 17
Simon Travaglia, 26 Dec 17:33
Chicken Jalfrezi and rice with a beer. Pic by Shutterstock

BOFH: Capo di tutti capi, bah. I'm having CHICKEN JALFREZI

Episode 16 Episode 16
Simon Travaglia, 13 Dec 11:30
Santa Claus on his laptop

BOFH: Santa, bloody Santa

Episode 15 Episode 15
Simon Travaglia, 06 Dec 11:00

BOFH: Everyone deserves a little DOWNTIME

Episode 14 Episode 14
Simon Travaglia, 28 Nov 12:01
Cthulu springs from desktop printer

BOFH: WHERE did this 'fax-enabled' printer UPGRADE come from?

Episode 13 Episode 13
Simon Travaglia, 22 Nov 08:00
Milla Jovovich in Resident Evil

BOFH: An UNHOLY MATCH forged amid the sweet smell of bullsh*t

Episode 12 Episode 12
Simon Travaglia, 15 Nov 10:00

BOFH: SOOO... You want to sell us some antivirus software?

Episode 11 Episode 11
Simon Travaglia, 08 Nov 09:00
big red wheelie bin and pallet full of rubbish in London street

BOFH: Stop your tiers – when it comes to storage, LESS is MORE

Episode 10 Episode 10
Simon Travaglia, 01 Nov 07:00
Confused computer keyboard

BOFH: The current value of our IT ASSets? Minus eleventy-seven...

Episode 9 Episode 9
Simon Travaglia, 29 Aug 12:19

BOFH: We CAN do that with a Raspberry Pi, but think of the BODIES

Episode 8 Episode 8 "So what we'd like to do is have the lights turn on in the foyer when people come into the office," the Health and Safety rep says.
Simon Travaglia, 23 Aug 09:00

BOFH: The Great Backup BACKDOWN

Episode 7 Episode 7
Simon Travaglia, 01 Aug 10:28

BOFH: You can take our lives, but you'll never take OUR MACROS

Episode 6 Episode 6
Simon Travaglia, 27 Jun 10:18

BOFH: On the contrary, we LOVE rebranding here at the IT dept

Episode 5 Episode 5
Simon Travaglia, 13 Jun 06:01

BOFH: Oh DO tell us what you think. *CLICK*

Episode 4 Episode 4
Simon Travaglia, 17 Apr 07:03

BOFH: On the PFY's Scottish estate, no one can hear you scream...

Episode 3 Episode 3
Simon Travaglia, 21 Mar 09:31
iPhone 2.2.1 update

BOFH: He... made... you... HE made YOU a DOMAIN ADMIN?

Episode 2 Episode 2
Simon Travaglia, 21 Feb 11:39

BOFH: Attractive person is attractive. Um, why are your eyes bulging?

Episode 1 Episode 1
Simon Travaglia, 07 Feb 11:03

BOFH: It's DANGEROUS to go alone. Take THIS

Episode 13 Episode 13
Simon Travaglia, 29 Nov 12:21

BOFH: Resistance is futile - we're missing BEER O'CLOCK

Episode 12 Episode 12
Simon Travaglia, 22 Nov 09:03

BOFH: One flew over the PFY's nest

Episode 11 Episode 11
Simon Travaglia, 15 Nov 09:03

BOFH: GOATSE? No, I said goat fetis... you know what, forget it

Episode 10 Episode 10
Simon Travaglia, 08 Nov 10:49

BOFH: Is WHAT 'running slow'!? GOD

Episode 9 Episode 9
Simon Travaglia, 01 Nov 09:27

BOFH: Welcome to Helldesk, ma'am, may I take your bags?

Episode 8 Episode 8
Simon Travaglia, 04 Oct 07:02

Nasty BOFHses. It burns us! It burns...

Episode 7 Episode 7
Simon Travaglia, 23 Aug 08:00

BOFH: Backup server's failed? We have a backup backup server

Episode 6 Episode 6
Simon Travaglia, 16 Aug 08:03
Cthulu springs from HP desktop printer

BOFH: Don't be afraid - we won't hurt your delicate, flimsy inkjet printer

Episode 5 Episode 5 "There's a problem with my printer," a user whines down the phone at the PFY.
Simon Travaglia, 26 Jul 09:58