Compaq has launched a Computer Rage Helpline, designed to relieve the stresses of working in a high tech environment. When The Register called the helpline, we were given a list of options to describe the type of computer problem we had. Did we hate our computer with a passion? Physically or verbally abuse it? Did we blame ourselves for the problem, or try to fix it but make things worse? Based on your choice, you are allocated a personality type -- Simmering Susan, Controlling Colin, Abusive Annie – and put through to a message to "help you to cope with your feelings…" The general gist of the advice was to calm down and call the IT department. Although, if you blame yourself, you will be advised to go for a lunchtime jog. Compaq isn't making any money out of this one, the calls are local rate, so it must be a public service to entertain the masses. Here at The Register, we had a laugh. When told of the laughing vultures, a Compaq spokeswoman commented: "Well, at least it took your attention away from your computers for a minute.." ®