Elizabeth the Queen Mother is dead

Updated

The nation was today in mourning after the Yorkshire Evening Post announced the untimely demise of Elizabeth the Queen Mother.

This has no doubt come as quite a shock to the Royal Family, not to mention doctors who have been treating the old dear for anaemia in the apparently mistaken assumption that she was still alive.

Still, they can take solace in the glowing obituary which compliments the announcement. According to the fawning blurb She was the widow of a king, the mother of a queen and the last Empress of India. Yet, despite the regal and imperial titles, Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother fashioned the modern image of the "democratic" monarchy and took the Crown closer to the people than ever before.

The Post further notes that this girl with dark-lashed eyes of china blue who became Queen almost by accident, had Royal blood in her veins and was a woman who knew the meaning of duty and sacrifice and was in close touch with people from backgrounds very different from her own.

Indeed. How will we ever manage without her?

Update

The Post has sadly pulled the offending pages. The editor had better not hold his breath for that knighthood, though.