The Register®

Biting the hand that feeds IT

Intel's best-kept secret revealed

Register comes up with the goods again

World Exclusive Literally years of sleuthing by Reg staffers has finally paid off. When we learned that Intel was suppressing secret photographs of CEO Craig Barrett, the Reg Insight investigative team (M Magee) immediately swung into action. The photos allegedly showed Barrett astride a horse wearing a cowboy hat (Barrett, not the horse).

Chipzilla spin paramedics were obviously concerned that, should the photos fall into the wrong hands, certain publications [Who they? - Ed] would be unable to resist making cheap jibes about Intel and cowboy outfits. And while the photographs themselves still remain tantalisingly out of reach, we can now exclusively reveal that the horse shown in the secret shots is called Pentium.

To name a processor after a favourite horse shows a rare compassionate side to the Great Satan of Chips. It is indeed lucky that the quadruped was blessed with such a suitable moniker - even Intel's marketing goons would have a hard time selling anyone an 800MHz Dobbin III™.

Speculation was rife at IDF this week that Craig's mule might be known as Celeron, his hamster as 8088, his dog as Covington, and his white elephant as Itanium. ®

Free report. "Comparing Data Center Batteries, Flywheels, and Ultracapacitors: What is the best energy storage for you?"

Don’t Miss

Warning: roadworksNetbooks and Mini-Laptops

Buyer's Guide They're little and we love 'em. But which ones are best?

Warning: roadworksIntel shakes AMD's chip-fabbing baby

Cross-licensing custody battle

Emails show journalist rigged Wikipedia's naked shorts

Overstock's Byrne vindicated amidst economic meltdown

Warning StopYours truly, angry mob

Book extract Bringing Nothing To The Party: Cleaning up the net, one satirical vigilante page at a time