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Labour Party website DDoS'd by ruly democratic mob

The interminable registration process for voters for the new Labour Party leader's election did not terminate this noon, as was planned, due to the party website dropping offline, following an effective, if accidental, DDoS attack from a flood of well-meaning visits generated by eager, if incredibly tardy, new supporters. The …
Ted Cruz poses with an AR-15 for his machine gun bacon video

Texas senator Ted Cruz serves up sizzling 'machine gun bacon'

Texas Republican senator and US presidential wannabe Ted Cruz has clarified his position on both the Second Amendment and vegetarianism by cooking up some "machine-gun bacon". Youtube Video Readers will note that Cruz's weapon of choice is not actually a machine gun, but rather a semi-automatic AR-15 assault rifle. Co- …
Lester Haines, 10 Aug 2015
The Henize 2-428 planetary nebula

Susan Sheridan, voice of Hitchhiker's Trillian, dies aged 68

Susan Sheridan, a star of the BBC's radio adaption of Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, has passed away aged 68. Sheridan voiced mathematician and astrophysicist Trillian Astra (Tricia Marie McMillan) between 1978 and 2005, on the much-loved radio series written by Douglas Adams. Colleague Susan Penhaligon …
yahoo revived billboard

Yahoo! parties! like! it's! 1999! with! retro! billboard! revival!

If at first you don't succeed, fail, fail, again Perenially-in-crisis web portal Yahoo! has decided to revive a tactic from its glory days in an attempt to create new glory days. The company has decided to “reclaim” what it's calling “the iconic billboard along San Francisco’s stretch of Interstate 80” that it hired in the …
Simon Sharwood, 10 Aug 2015
Time cover

Moronic Time cover sets back virtual reality another 12 months

Pics Oculus boss Palmer Luckey became the butt of countless jokes Thursday when a cringeworthy photo of him showed up on the cover of Time magazine. The Oculus Rift inventor was chosen to be the subject of the news magazine's cover story on virtual reality headsets. The article, titled 'Why Virtual Reality Is About to Change the …
Shaun Nichols, 7 Aug 2015

Virtually no one is using Apple Music even though it is utterly free

The 11 million people who signed up for Apple Music have two months to cancel their subscriptions or start paying. The streaming service went live in early July, is free for the first three months, and completely dwarfed by Spotify. Apple senior vice president of internet software and services Eddy Cue dropped the 11 million …
Shaun Nichols, 6 Aug 2015
Noel Edmonds. Pic: Matthew Anderson

AIDS? Ebola? Nah – ELECTRO SMOG is our 'biggest problem', says Noel Edmonds

Once omnipresent telly host Noel Edmonds has claimed that "the biggest problem we have is not Ebola, it's not AIDS, it's electro smog." Electro smog, according to Edmonds, is a product of "the Wi-Fi and all of the systems that we are introducing into our lives" which "are destroying our own natural electro-magnetic fields." …
Team Register, 6 Aug 2015
netzpolitik_648

German prosecutor given Das Boot over Netzpolitik treason charge

Netzpolitik.org, the website at the centre of the treason scandal in Germany, is the real winner in the whole furore as a senior German official was forcibly retired over the scandal, editor Markus Beckedahl told el Reg this morning. Last night, Germany's chief federal prosecutor Harald Range was given the boot by German …

Re/code apologizes for Holocaust 'joke' tweet

Apple blog Re/code has pulled, and apologized for, a tasteless tweet about the Holocaust. The unfunny gag was cracked after a consortium of German car manufacturers has bought Nokia's maps business. Linking to a story by senior reporter Ina Fried on the purchase, Re/code's official twitter account emitted this about 0645 PT on …
cilla_648

'Cilla Black introduced me to my wife on Blind Date': Channel man's heartwarming story

The managing director of an IT distribution outfit who met his wife 28 years ago on Blind Date has paid tribute to the show's host Cilla Black, who passed away yesterday. Lorra lorra love Alex Tatham – MD of Westcoast Limited – and his wife Sue were the first couple to get married after appearing on the show, which ran from …
Kat Hall, 3 Aug 2015
Doctor Who in Listen

Think beyond the Beeb: Gov consultation is crucial for free telly

Breaking Fad Do you like your free-to-air TV? It looks like a reasonable chunk of spectrum will be saved for terrestrial broadcasting at the WRC–15 meeting later this year, but the battle for Freeview is far from over. Doctor Who in Listen Listen up: it's time to have your say on the BBC A couple of months back, the BBC Trust gave the …
Nigel Whitfield, 31 Jul 2015
'Broken Copyright' StockMonkeys.com

Open source Copyright Hub unveiled with '90+ projects' in the pipeline

The web has grown up without letting people own and control their own stuff, but a British-backed initiative might change all that, offering a glimpse of how the internet can work in the future. Their work will all be open sourced early next year. Britain's much-anticipated Copyright Hub was given ministerial blessing when it …
Andrew Orlowski, 31 Jul 2015
jeremy_clarkson_648

And on that bombshell: Top Gear's Clarkson to reappear on Amazon

Amazon Prime has signed up Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May for a car show intended to rival Top Gear on its streaming service. The show will be produced by their long-time executive producer Andy Wilman, said the company in a gloating press release. The trio have committed to three seasons as part of the TV …
Kat Hall, 30 Jul 2015

Twitter will delete jokes after a DMCA takedown – but NOT my photos, fumes angry snapper

A photographer is suing Twitter, claiming it refused to remove unauthorized copies of her copyrighted snaps from its social network. Kristen Pierson has filed a copyright-infringement complaint [PDF] against Twitter in the Los Angeles District Court, alleging the website has ignored her request to take down images she snapped …
Shaun Nichols, 29 Jul 2015

Let's all binge on Blake’s 7 and help save the BBC ... from itself

Analysis BBC please take note: Sky’s decision to play Netflix at its own game seems to be paying off. Sky decided to “unbundle” itself two years ago, offering access to its content to anyone with an internet connection and a credit card via NOW TV, an OTT (over-the-top) offering. It previously bundled content with access and …
Andrew Orlowski, 29 Jul 2015

Slashdot, SourceForge looking for new owners after parent dumps them on the web's doorstep

DHI Group, the company formerly known as Dice Holdings, has announced that it's selling off its Slashdot Media division following two successive quarters of declining revenue. DHI's main business is running job-listing and recruitment sites, including Dice.com. But in 2012 it acquired Slashdot Media – which includes source …
Neil McAllister, 28 Jul 2015
Zuckerberg

Facebook pumps up ENTIRELY SELFLESS, altruistic Internet.org

Facebook is getting more push behind its totally altruistic Internet.org scheme, which will - incidentally - let it slurp up free content and personal information from billions of poor people worldwide while spattering them with ads. The Internet.org programme has said it is inviting more mobile operators to take part in the …
Kat Hall, 28 Jul 2015
Mr Creosote prepares to gobble

AT&T swallows DirecTV in $50 BEELLION biz gulp – moments after FCC OK

The FCC has formally approved AT&T's acquisition of satellite TV giant DirecTV, clearing the way for the nearly $50bn deal to go through. On Friday, the US watchdog backed the $48.5bn buyout plan two days after chairman Tom Wheeler announced he would put the proposal up for approval. The deal was waved through with …
Shaun Nichols, 24 Jul 2015
apple music

'Apple lures labels from free streams – and why is no one doing anything about it' shrieks group

A pressure group in America has urged US watchdog the FTC and Uncle Sam's Department of Justice to probe Apple Music for signs of antitrust violations. Consumer Watchdog has written a letter [PDF] to the five commissioners of the FTC as well as DoJ attorney general Loretta Lynch and assistant attorney general William Baer …
Shaun Nichols, 22 Jul 2015

SPECTRE-tacular: New trailer out for Bond 24. But where's the pussy?

James Bond fans chomping at the bit to enjoy the forthcoming 24th cinematic outing for 007 can avail themselves of a light aperitif in the form of the full-length Spectre trailer. According to the blurb accompanying the vid: A cryptic message from the past sends James Bond on a rogue mission to Mexico City and eventually …
Lester Haines, 22 Jul 2015
DirecTV

$50bn AT&T-DirecTV GOBBLE almost at BELCH stage: DoJ, FCC boss give nod

AT&T has scoffed DirecTV up - now it's just about digestion time. The US Department of Justice (DoJ) has OK'd the deal, and the head of the FCC is on side as well. The DoJ said Tuesday it would not be challenging the proposed $48.5bn (£31.2bn) acquisition of DirecTV by AT&T, removing one of the largest hurdles to the deal. …
Shaun Nichols, 22 Jul 2015
Tomahawk music player

TITSUP: Apple Music, App Stores, iCloud, iTunes, Radio, iBooks

Updated Apple's web stores, music-streaming jukeboxes, and cloud services have been struggling to stay online for the past three hours. As of 0959 PT (1659 UTC), Apple's status page is still reporting partial outages for the iOS and OS X App Stores and Apple TV, as well as the iTunes services, Apple Music, and Radio. The systems fell …
Shaun Nichols, 21 Jul 2015

UK.gov makes total pig's ear of attempt to legalise home CD ripping

The UK's inability to introduce a private copying copyright exception legally and fairly means home taping, ripping CDs and so on will remain technically illegal in the UK. The obstacle to sorting out British law in this regard is the government's insistence that it can fix the quirk without offering any sort of compensation …
Andrew Orlowski, 21 Jul 2015
Coconut face by https://www.flickr.com/photos/22327649@N03/ cc 2.0 attribution https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Cops baffled by 'canal corpse' that turned out to be COCONUTS

Manchester coppers were baffled to discover that reports of a dead body in a canal were in fact someone's unwanted coconuts. Officers in Trafford were called after a walker pulled what he believed to be a bag full of animal bones from the Bridgewater Canal, near Longford Wharf on Stephenson Road in Stretford. The man noticed …
Kat Hall, 21 Jul 2015
Josh Greenberg

Grooveshark cofounder Josh Greenberg dead at 28

One of the cofounders of music-sharing site Grooveshark has died. The Gainesville Sun newspaper reports that the body of Josh Greenberg was found in his bed Sunday by his girlfriend. The cause of death has not yet been determined, though the report says drug use and foul play are not believed to be involved. Greenberg was 28 …
Shaun Nichols, 20 Jul 2015
Bonfire. Pic: DiAnn L'Roy, Flickr

Americans find fantastic new use for drones – interfering with firefighting

A blaze in southern California, which has already destroyed several cars and homes, has added another tool to its arsenal of dangers: bystanders' drones. NBC LA reports that drones taking footage of the blaze prevented the state's firefighting air units from getting involved in the firefighting effort, due to fears of …
Blackmail

Ashley Madison hack: Site for people who can't be trusted can't be trusted

Ashley Madison, a popular website for married people wishing to cheat on their other halves, has been hacked with obviously serious implications for those whose details it held. Previously unknown hacking group The Impact Team posted online caches of personal data stolen from the website, whose motto is "Life is short. Have an …
John Leyden, 20 Jul 2015
Monty Python TV viewer

Here's why Whittingdale kicked a subscription BBC into the future

Analysis A subscription-access BBC isn’t a new idea, and for its advocates, it’s a natural evolution that ensures the survival of the Corporation in the modern world. Yet Minister for Fun John Whittingdale kicked the idea down the road yesterday. Whittingdale explained that for "conditional access" to work, non-subscribers would have …
Andrew Orlowski, 20 Jul 2015
Rotten apple. Pic: Shutterstock (http://www.shutterstock.com/pic-29447929/stock-photo-a-rotten-apple-on-a-white-background.html)

HSBC takes Twitter tongue-lashing over failure to offer Apple Pay

Apple Pay has upset a few people already. People who can’t get to work, people who’ve been charged twice, and people who bank with HSBC. HSBC has felt the wrath of Apple fanbois for failing to launch Apple Pay, with negative tweets about the bank outnumbering positive ones five to one on the day of launch. These are the …
Simon Rockman, 17 Jul 2015

Farmer mooved after reunion with two-year fugitive cow

A fugitive cow has been reunited with her deeply mooved farmer after two years on the run, and occasionally the hoof. The day after her farmer brought Matylda home she escaped from her field in Western Poland, reported AP. Upset with her surroundings, the heifer hoofed it after a fairly brief sojourn. Her owner, Leszek Zasada …
Team Register, 17 Jul 2015

Minister for Fun opens consultation on future of the BBC

The Government has opened up a wide-ranging consultation on the future of the BBC, whose ten-year duration Royal Charter expires in 2017. Inside the BBC Micro From this ... Coincidentally a Government review of the criminalisation of license fee evasion, was also published today, the Perry Review, which has decided to …
Andrew Orlowski, 16 Jul 2015
Netflix

Merger-killer Netflix: We're actually OK with Charter's TWC gobble

Netflix has publicly backed the proposed merger between Charter Communications and Time Warner Cable (TWC). The video-streaming giant has filed with US watchdog the FCC in support of the proposed deal. Netflix is offering its support of the deal thanks to an offer Charter has made to continue its free interconnect deal with …
Shaun Nichols, 15 Jul 2015
Netflix

Telstra vid downloads getting SLOWER says new Netflix speed test

Netflix's latest ranking of Australian service providers again shows that Telstra is the nation's worst-performing network when it comes to downloading the streaming video company's content. Netflix speed rating data for australia Netflix speed rating for streaming video downloads in Australia, April-June 2015 In its May …
Simon Sharwood, 15 Jul 2015
Neil Young says he will withdraw his music from streaming services

Neil Young yanks music from streaming services: 'Worst audio in history'

"My music is being removed from all streaming services. It's not good enough to sell or rent," aging rock grumpster Neil Young said today. In a post on Facebook, the veteran musician explained: Streaming has ended for me. I hope this is OK for my fans. It's not because of the money, although my share (like all the other …
Tim Anderson, 15 Jul 2015

Hey, Spotify! Why do you internet companies hate competition?

Guest opinion Last year Spotify hired a former political strategist in the Obama administration and some of Pandora’s lobbyists to protect its untenable and money-losing business model. I predict that the end goal of these efforts will leave artists and songwriters worse off. The ex-Obama hand is called Jonathan Prince. Spotify’s lobbying …
David Lowery, 15 Jul 2015
Leonidas, king of Sparta, as portrayed by Gerard Butler in the film 300. Pic copyright: Warner Bros

Apple proffers FREE iCLOUD SUBS to tackle Greek debt crisis

iThingy flinger Apple has decided enough is enough with poor old Greece, helping solve the EU nation's debt crisis with an offer of free iCloud services - for a month, anyway. In an email obtained by iPhoneHellas the company said it would offer the one-month only deal to customers currently unable to maintain their …
Kat Hall, 15 Jul 2015
Reddit

Reddit CEO U-turn: Site no longer a bastion of free speech – and stop posting so much hate

The CEO of message-board website Reddit has been in the job for a few days, and he's already causing some redditors to choke on their cheetos. In a posting on the site announcements page, Steve Huffman – cofounder of the website and new chief exec following the departure of the hugely unpopular Ellen Pao – said he will crack …
Iain Thomson, 15 Jul 2015
Game Boy Advance

Q. Why did Nintendo force GitHub to take down an emulator? A. It was stuffed with ROMs

Nintendo has demanded GitHub take down a JavaScript-powered Game Boy Advance emulator. An outrage against perfectly legal software? No. The emulator was apparently bundled with more than three dozen copies of copyright-protected game titles. Code-hosting site GitHub has posted a copy of the DMCA takedown request it received …
Shaun Nichols, 14 Jul 2015
The monopoly box

BT issues formal whinge to Ofcom over Sky dominance in pay telly

Former state-owned telecoms giant BT has formally whinged to Ofcom that archrival Sky should be subject to regulatory intervention over its dominance in the paid-TV market. BT has asked Ofcom to change the scope of its review into digital communications, citing "high prices and poor outcomes for consumers arising from a lack …
Kat Hall, 10 Jul 2015

Dexter maker Showtime streams over the 'net, joins cable-cutting gang

Showtime – the maker of hit shows Homeland, Dexter, and Weeds – has followed HBO, and made itself available for streaming over the internet without a cable TV subscription. Showtime is available from today on AppleTV and Roku for $10.99 per month with a free 30-day trial, and continues the cable-cutting trend that has cable …

Call that a mugshot? Aussie model/fugitive asks rozzers for more flattering pic

Police in the Australian state of Victoria were criticised when they uploaded a mugshot to Facebook, appealing for public assistance to help locate fugitive Daniel Damon. As sensitive as any artist about his work, the critic was none other than the 25-year-old local man himself, who is wanted for arrest after failing to answer …
Star Wars: Battlefront

Han Solo to get solo prequel flick in 2018, helmed by LEGO men

Disney's plans to shamelessly cash in on tell more and richer stories from the Star Wars universe will result in a solo Han Solo film in 2018. Starwars.com reports that the as-yet-un-named entertainment will be helmed by Christopher Miller and Phil Lord, the duo responsible for The LEGO Movie, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs …
Team Register, 8 Jul 2015