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BrickArms' Toy taliban figure

True fact: 1 in 4 Brits are now TERRORISTS

One in four Brits could be facing imminent arrest by the Metropolitan Police after apparently falling foul of the boys in blue's astonishing new definition of a terrorist. As we revealed earlier this week, simply viewing a beheading video is enough for the cops to label you a card-carrying threat to public safety. Now it turns …
Jasper Hamill, 22 Aug 2014

Football legend Gary Lineker in TWITTER POO TROLL SCANDAL

Gary Lineker is a celebrated footballer, telly host and crisp salesman. But it turns out that on the internet, what he's really remembered for is taking a big poo on the pitch during the 1990 Italia World Cup. But now the face of Walker's Crisps has had enough of internet trolls and has issued a broadside against the social …
Jasper Hamill, 22 Aug 2014
Netflix streaming service screenshot on Samsung

Netflix swallows yet another bitter pill, inks peering deal with TWC

Netflix has inked yet another peering deal with a major US telco, this time signing an interconnect agreement with Time Warner Cable. The streaming video giant confirmed that it had put in place faster direct connections between its own network and those of the US cable provider. Netflix issued a brief statement on the matter, …
Shaun Nichols, 20 Aug 2014
Galaxy Tab 4 Nook

Barnes & Noble: Swallow a Samsung Nook tablet, please ... pretty please

The lovechild of bookseller Barnes & Noble and electronics giant Samsung – the new Galaxy Tab 4 Nook tablet – is now on sale. The, surprise, surprise, Android-powered novelslab is a standard-issue 7in Galaxy Tab 4, running Barnes & Noble's e-reader software. The unit will be Wi-Fi only. The Sammy Nook, unveiled in June, is …
Shaun Nichols, 20 Aug 2014

I don't see dead people: Twitter to nix some images of deceased folk

Twitter users whose loved ones have recently died can now submit requests for the removal of distressing photos and videos of the deceased to the micro-blogging company. It comes after the late actor Robin Williams' daughter Zelda said she was ditching social media following a stream of abuse that she received about her father's …
Kelly Fiveash, 20 Aug 2014

Video of US journalist 'beheading' pulled from social media

Twitter and Facebook have taken steps to close down the accounts of militant Islamic State supporters after the publication of a video that appeared to show a man with a British accent "beheading" the American journalist James Foley. The video is thought to have first surfaced on an account called @mujahid4life which was …
Jasper Hamill, 20 Aug 2014

Kate Bush: Don't make me HAVE CONTACT with your iPHONE

Warbling '70s pop sensation Kate Bush has urged fans not to take photos and video footage during her upcoming London gigs, which will be the singer's first live tour in 35 years. The shows at the Hammersmith Apollo kick off next week, but Bush is already fretting about poorly captured images of her concert appearances being …
Kelly Fiveash, 20 Aug 2014
Video

US TV stations bowl sueball directly at FCC's spectrum mega-sale

US television broadcasters are suing the FCC over the regulator's planned auction of TV spectrum space to mobile phone networks. The National Association of Broadcasters (NAB) said it has objections to the framework the watchdog has laid out for an auction in which broadcasters sell off their spectrum space to carriers who will …
Shaun Nichols, 19 Aug 2014
Call of Duty: Ghosts

Call of Duty daddy considers launching own movie studio

Videogame kingpin Activision Blizzard is reportedly considering launching its own movie studio division to turn its games into films and TV shows. Milla Jovovich in Resident Evil This movie adaptation of Resident Evil was quite popular for some reason... Videogame adaptations have had mixed success to say the least, with some …
Kindergarten Cop

Caught red-handed: UK cops, PCSOs, specials behaving badly… on social media

In the past five years a surprisingly small number of police employees in England and Wales have been sacked, retired early or forced to resign in connection with serious cockups using social media. A silly season Freedom of Information trawl* of cop shops carried out by the Press Association and reported by the BBC found 828 …
Kelly Fiveash, 19 Aug 2014
Aphex Twin

Tor-rorists get sneaky Aphex Twin album peek in dance guru hypegasm

Richard James, aka electronic music composer Aphex Twin, has been using the power of Tor to hype his new album – and to remind computer users about their own system's security. http://syro2eznzea2xbpi.onion — Aphex Twin (@AphexTwin) August 18, 2014 The .onion link above leads to a web server hidden in the Tor anonymizing …
Iain Thomson, 18 Aug 2014

Class war! Wikipedia's workers revolt again

Wikipedia's workers are in uproar again, this time about the cash-rich Wikimedia Foundation giving itself "superpowers" to override community decisions. As a consequence of the ruckus, the head of engineering at the Foundation has had his community admin account suspended for a month on the German Wikipedia. It's another …
Andrew Orlowski, 18 Aug 2014

Tricked by satire? Get all your news from Facebook? You're in luck, dummy

Po-faced Facebook will slap "satire" tags on links shared by its users – to help users distinguish parody pieces from the real news. Flagging up links to send-up sites on Facebook's News Feed will remain an experiment for now, though. The tag only appears in a user's News Feed after they have clicked on, for example, an Onion …
Kelly Fiveash, 18 Aug 2014
Assange

Assange™: Hey world, I'M STILL HERE, ignore that Snowden guy

Head WikiLeaker Julian Assange™ has said he is planning to leave the Ecuadorian embassy "soon", but neglected to say exactly when. In a press conference arguably designed to satisfy Assange's need for global attention more than the world media's thirst for clues about his future plans, the WikiLeaks founder dodged questions on …
Jasper Hamill, 18 Aug 2014

Premier League wants to PURGE ALL FOOTIE GIFs from social media

The English Premier League is working to design new software which will stop piratical football fans uploading footage of goals to Vine or social media. It has apologised for being a "killjoy" after warning fans that spaffing images of goals all over the internet is a breach of copyright. Now it is developing software to search …
Jasper Hamill, 15 Aug 2014

You'll find Yoda at the back of every IT conference

Something for the Weekend, Sir? On stage, the presenter barely pauses for breath as he shares his extraordinary knowledge with rapid-fire delivery. His audience is captivated, amazed, enthralled. Digital design students all, they are learning from a master of online retail what life is like at the cutting edge of user interaction, giving them a hint of the hi- …
Alistair Dabbs, 15 Aug 2014
Advanced English Dictionary

'Aaaah FFS, 'amazeballs' has made it into the OXFORD DICTIONARY'

QuoTW This was the week when so-called “sharing economy” car firms – more accurately “slightly different ways to turn a profit” car firms – Uber and Lyft got into a bit of a barney. Lyft told CNN that Uber staff were pranking the company out of profits by ordering rides and then cancelling them, as well as ordering Lyft services for a …

Orwell chap snaps in Amazon paperback claptrap yap rap

Amazon is under fire from George Orwell's estate for referencing the Nineteen Eighty-Four author in its legal battle with publishers. The web bazaar, while mired in a war of words with Hachette over book prices, invoked Orwell's name and cited comments made by the author at the dawn of paperback books. According to Amazon, …
Shaun Nichols, 14 Aug 2014
South Park: Stick of Truth

Totes AMAZEBALLS! Side boob, binge-watch and clickbait added to Oxford Dictionary

The Register is sad to report the rise of Web2.0rhea this morning, after the Oxford Dictionary added words such as tech-savvy, listicle and hyperconnected to its latest online addition. Clickbait, smartwatch, live-tweet and second screen also wheedled their way into the world's most famous lexicon. Oxford's editors explained …
Kelly Fiveash, 14 Aug 2014

Click on a Facebook ad on your mobe, then buy a thing on your PC ... Facebook remembers

Advertisers on global ad network Facebook can now pinpoint exactly which devices and computers people use to buy stuff through online ads. "Facebook already offers targeting, delivery and conversion measurement across devices. With the new cross-device report, advertisers are now able to view the devices on which people see ads …
Iain Thomson, 13 Aug 2014

No Apple fanbois here: Man United BANS iPads from Old Trafford

Manchester United is banning tablets from Old Trafford on match days as part of a tightening-up of security procedures to reflect heightened terrorist concerns.‬ Large electronic devices including laptops and tablets will be added to the list of prohibited items as a result of security concerns, the Premier League side said in a …
John Leyden, 13 Aug 2014
The new Twitter logo. Pic: Twitter

One in 12 Tweeps are bots

In its latest SEC filing, Twitter has enumerated what its users have long believed: a small but significant slab of its accounts aren't humans. According to the filing, Twitter says it's created a “new metric that is comprised of only such active users” that run updates “when there was no discernible user action involved”. In …
Robin Williams at a BBC talk (sergey brin cropped out))

Hollywood star Robin Williams dies of 'suspected suicide' at 63

Obituary Hollywood actor Robin Williams has died of a suspected suicide at the age of 63. Robin Williams at a BBC talk (sergey brin cropped out)) Robin Williams jumps up on stage for an impromptu riff during technical difficulties in the BBC filming. Photo by Steve Jurvetson, licensed under CC 2.0 The star, whose distinctive comedy …
Team Register, 12 Aug 2014

Stephen Hawking biopic: Big on romance, not so much with the science?

Video The first trailer for Stephen Hawking biopic The Theory of Everything hints at a movie heavy on the romance and tragedy of the renowned physicist’s life. Trailer for Stephen Hawking biopic The Theory of Everything The film, based on Travelling to Infinity: My Life with Stephen, the memoir of Hawking’s first wife Jane Wilde, …
Photo of burning books

Amazon smacks back at Hachette in e-book pricing battle: We're doing it for the readers

Amazon’s latest PR stunt for its contract dispute with publisher Hachette has seen the mega etailer establish a “Readers United” group in response to writers’ group “Authors United” to put pressure on the publishing house to lower its book prices. This comes after writers including Philip Pullman and John Grisham took out a full …
BBC logo 2012

BBC man Linwood 'was unfairly sacked' over £100 MILLION DMI omnifail

A BBC technology chief who took the fall for the Corporation's failed £100m Digital Media Initiative was unfairly dismissed, an employment tribunal has ruled.. The tribunal that found that the BBC broke the law in suspending its chief technology officer, John Linwood. The tribunal found Linwood was unfairly dismissed under the …
Gavin Clarke, 7 Aug 2014
Jimmy "Jimbo" Wales

Simian selfie stupidity: Macaque snap sparks Wikipedia copyright row

Comment When a black macaque on the Indonesian island of Sulawesi took a selfie using photographer David Slater’s camera in 2011, it broke the barrier between man and monkey in more ways than one. Yes, it showed the world that speechless beasts are as self-obsessed – and location-aware – as humans. Give a monkey a camera and, inevitably …
Gavin Clarke, 7 Aug 2014
Alistair Darling and Alex Salmond debate Scottish independence

Scottish independence debate: STV player flops under weight of viewers

In what could be taken as an ominous sign for the future, Brits below the Scottish border were unable to live stream the debate on Scotland’s independence last night – because the STV Player crashed under the weight of viewers trying to watch the event. The debate between pro-independence First Minister Alex Salmond and Labour …

Kickstarter hopefuls promise high-res aerial maps for the masses

San Diego-based Drones Made Easy is nudging the Kickstarter target of $30,000 it needs to bring "mapping to the masses" with an site allowing people to "upload raw aerial imagery for processing into high quality stitched aerial imagery". The idea is to take the grunt work out of creating your own stitched imagery "at up to 20 …
Lester Haines, 5 Aug 2014
Do Not Adjust Your Set

Nokia Networks: Don't hate us, broadcasters – we're testing LTE for TV

Comment The Nokia Networking LTE Broadcast trial announced in Germany this week is all about building bridges between broadcasters and mobile operators, because it is about sending TV for televisions through an LTE Network, rather than TV for phones. And for a change the trial was explained clearly in its release, which meant quite a …
Faultline, 4 Aug 2014
Danielle Zimmerman LG webOS product manager

Remember Palm's WebOS? LG does – check out its smart TVs

Feature There’s nothing particularly clever about most smart TVs. While their Internet connected functionality is undeniably useful, the user experience is clunky at best, with apps and streaming services typically kettled away from everyday operation. But LG’s webOS connected platform is different. Debuting on around 70 per cent of the …
Steve May, 4 Aug 2014
Rainbow Mansion library

Apple ebook price-fix row: Stiffed readers inch closer to $450m windfall

An ebooks price-fixing lawsuit against Apple in the US is close to wrapping up – with the iPhone maker coughing up nearly half a billion dollars as a result, potentially. A US Judge on Friday granted preliminary approval to the $450m payment deal, in which Apple will settle with states' attorneys general over allegations of …
Shaun Nichols, 2 Aug 2014
Facebook drowning

Facebook goes down, people dial 911

Facebook's servers fell over today – with users on the US east coast, and in Europe, the Middle East and Africa, complaining of outages. Facebook outage map Oh noes! Circles mark areas of connectivity problems ... Click for bigger map. Source: IsItDownRightNow.com According to IsItDownRightNow.com, the downtime appears to …
Iain Thomson, 1 Aug 2014
Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos

Amazon says Hachette should lower ebook prices, pay authors more

Amazon has laid out its reasons for wanting to drive the retail prices of ebooks downward, claiming that contrary to popular belief, the practice is actually beneficial for retailers, publishers, and authors alike. "With an e-book, there's no printing, no over-printing, no need to forecast, no returns, no lost sales due to out- …
Neil McAllister, 30 Jul 2014

Old-timey music streamer Rhapsody (aka Napster) reaches 2m subscribers

Antique music streaming service Rhapsody has finally hit two million subscribers after its expansion to include 32 countries worldwide. Rhapsody, also known as Napster in Europe after it acquired the brand in 2011, has been around since forever in internet terms and was one of the first to use the model of song sales through …
Taoviet iPhone

Sonos AXES support for Apple's iOS4 and 5

+Comment With the ominous words “We take your investment in Sonos very seriously,” Sonos has killed off support for iOS v4 and 5 devices. Sonos makes software app-controlled Wi-Fi speakers that can play audio streamed from Android, iOS, Windows and Mac OSX devices. The iThings can play local audio files on the speakers or relay music/ …
Chris Mellor, 29 Jul 2014

Swell. Apple buys 'Pandora-for-talk-radio' app... for $30 meeellion

Can you hear that message crackling over the airwaves? No? Perhaps you need to stop using that rusty old radio and replace it with a gleaming iThing from Apple. That could be an option soon if rumours that Apple is preparing to buy "Pandora-for-talk-radio" service Swell are to be believed. The fruity firm is thought to have …
Jasper Hamill, 28 Jul 2014
Blade Runner

Philip K Dick 'Nazi alternate history' story made into TV series

Ridley Scott has signed on to make Philip K Dick’s Nazis-in-America story The Man in the High Castle for Amazon Studios, according to industry mag Deadline. Blade Runner screenshot Ridley Scott's Blade Runner Scott’s production firm Scott Free and X-Files writer Frank Spotnitz will make the alternate history tale in which the …
LG 77EC980V Ultra HD 4K OLED TV

Stick a 4K in them: Super high-res TVs are DONE

Only 6 per cent of broadband homes are "moderately" or "highly likely" to buy a 4K TV, and 83 per cent of consumers are completely unfamiliar with the term Ultra HD. LG 77EC980V Ultra HD 4K OLED TV LG's 77EC980V Ultra HD 4K OLED TV... pricey but beautiful These are the major findings from a new report from The Diffusion Group …
Faultline, 28 Jul 2014
Beats Studio headphones

Bose says today is F*** With Dre Day: Beats sued in patent battle

Audio thing biz Bose is suing Apple-owned Beats Electronics, alleging patent infringement. Massachusetts-based Bose claimed in its court filing [PDF] that headgear designed by Beats violated five of its patents, all relating to noise-canceling headphones. According to the paperwork dated July 25, Bose reckons the Beats Studio …
Shaun Nichols, 25 Jul 2014

Indie ISP to Netflix: Give it a rest about 'net neutrality' – and get your checkbook out

A pioneering American community ISP is telling customers that Netflix should spend more time improving its technology, more money on its network – and less energy on lobbying in Washington DC. BSD developer and author Brett Glass founded Lariat.net in Wyoming in 1992, making it one of the first ISPs in the world. He told The …
Andrew Orlowski, 25 Jul 2014

Feel free to BONK on the TUBE, says Transport for London

From 16 September you will be able to pay for your journey on the London Underground with your pay-by-bonk contactless card or NFC-enabled phone. This won’t come as a surprise to anyone who uses the London Underground regularly and will have heard the announcements (and seen the posters) warning people to keep their Oyster and …
Simon Rockman, 25 Jul 2014