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REVEALED: Apple fanbois are 'MENTALLY UNSTABLE' - iShop staff

Apple iSlaves have joined together to publish a scathing indictment of customers who graze at the fruity firm's retail stores. A number of embittered Apple employees have contributed to a Reddit thread called Confessions of an Apple Store Worker, which was started by an anonymous employee called FruitStandSlave. Apple customers …
Jasper Hamill, 6 Nov 2014
anonymousXENUCAKE

Million Mask March: Anonymous' London Guy Fawkes protest a damp squib

Pics Anonymous' #MillionMaskMarch hit London amid a flurry of fireworks on the symbolic date of 5 November, Guy Fawkes night. Despite the symbolism, it was pretty lame. Your correspondent, fresh from a hard day staring at screens and drinking tea, wandered along to Trafalgar Square to see what the fuss was all about. There was a …
Fail and You

Microsoft's TV product placement horror: CNN mistakes Surface tabs for iPAD STANDS

Last month Microsoft announced a partnership with CNN for its mid-term election night coverage, with Redmond providing tech for the news anchors to use. Unfortunately, the anchors used their shiny Surface tablet to prop up or hide their Apple iPads. CNN commentators using Microsoft @surface tablets as iPad stand. Facepalm. pic …
Iain Thomson, 5 Nov 2014
Steve Ballmer's signature on a Trevecca Nazarene University student's MacBook

Apple patents AUTOGRAPHS. Checkmate, eBay

Apple, for some reason, has decided it wants to make the process of getting a book autographed even more sterile and impersonal than before. The Cupertino giant was granted a patent on Tuesday covering a method by which an author can digitally sign his or her autograph onto readers' copies of e-books. Yes, it seems that the old …
Shaun Nichols, 5 Nov 2014
Christian Bale is Steve Jobs

iBail: American Psycho actor Christian Bale rejects Steve Jobs role

Batman Begins actor Christian Bale has declined the opportunity to channel the spirit of Steve Jobs and will no longer star in a biopic about the erstwhile Apple supremo. The film has been hit by personnel troubles ever since its inception. Bale is the second high-profile thesp to change his mind about playing the fruity fuhrer …
Jasper Hamill, 4 Nov 2014
Alien world view in Interstellar

How Hollywood film-makers wove proper physics into Interstellar

Vid Youtube Video Having a theoretical physicist attached to a Hollywood sci-fi film proved to be a pretty slick move for Interstellar director Christopher Nolan, who worked with Kip Thorne from the start of the project. "What the algorithms gave us was extremely spectacular," Nolan explained in this short, neat vid about the hard …
Kelly Fiveash, 4 Nov 2014
What Linus Torvalds thinks of NVIDIA

I am POLICE SERGEANT L. TORVALDS! Stop or I'll SHOOT

Linus Torvalds, main mover 'n' shaker behind the Linux kernel, has long had a reputation for being a bit of a hothead. Yet a new TV show puts a new spin on Torvalds' temper tantrums. Australian political thriller The Code, currently being screened on BBC 4, is - so the BBC 4 website tells us - "about two very different brothers …
Team Register, 4 Nov 2014

Pop starlet Taylor Swift DUMPS Spotify: It’s not me, it’s you

Taylor Swift's record company has removed her entire catalogue from Spotify, becoming by far the most popular artist to snub the streaming service. Spotify rarely responds to artist snubs, but snapped back with a cringeworthy blog post begging her to return. It's acutely painful timing for Spotify: the company's IPO is likely to …
Joust

Brighten your November morning: 900 in-browser arcade classics added to the Internet Archive

For all the conflict between console gamers and their PC brethren, kids today have never had it so good. In our day we had to gather in darkened shops to play video games housed in wooden cabinets that mercilessly gobbled quarters. This archaic form of gaming is almost lost to humanity, but survives thanks to a few retro stores …
Iain Thomson, 4 Nov 2014
ISS Red shirt

Space Oddity redux: Hadfield's cover back for two years

It's back: Commander Chris Hadfield's famed ISS-recorded cover of the Bowie classic Space Oddity is getting another two years on YouTube after months of tortuous licence negotiations. As it was the first time around, the Hadfield cover is going to have a limited life. The first time around, he was allowed to leave it up for one …
Cybermen in Dark Water

BBC clamps down on ILLICIT iPlayer watchers

A gang of British licence fee payers have grabbed their virtual pitchforks and marched on the Beeb in protest against its decision to ban iPlayer RSS feeds. The changes are designed to stop naughty viewers from using third-party clients to watch the Beeb. Several Register readers have contacted us and complained about the …
Jasper Hamill, 3 Nov 2014

Snapper's decisions: Whatever happened to REAL photography?

Feature Gradually and quietly, there has been a revolution in photography which has seen traditional film eclipsed by digital techniques. John Watkinson argues that the results of the revolution are not all beneficial, not least because the evolutionary path from amateur to professional has been economically closed off by marketing. …

Dub pioneer Rupie Edwards' Ire Feelings – 40 years on

Trackback Phil Strongman reveals the bizarre true story of how the first real musical fusion of technology and culture ended up coming from the Third World. Youtube Video In late 1974, out of nowhere, the first dub hit anywhere in the world leapt into the UK Top Ten. Upon its release that autumn, Rupie Edwards’ innovatory Ire Feelings …
Alan Turing biopic The Imitation Game

The Imitation Game: Bringing Alan Turing's classified life to light

Interview For director Morten Tyldum and writer Graham Moore, the life of Alan Turing is about more than the fact that he was gay, or that he was a genius or that he was one of the keepers of arguably the biggest secret of World War II. Both film-makers agree that Turing’s story is about outsiders and how being an outsider can be exactly …
Hacker, Hoaxer, Whistleblower, Spy book cover

Tales of infiltration from Fight Club man Chuck Palahniuk, Peter Carey and Anonymous

Page File El Reg bookworm Mark Diston leafs his way through the latest in literature and finds more transgressional fiction from Chuck Palahniuk, this time focused on stimulating experiences for womankind. Covert ops in cyberspace from Anonymous et al are tackled in Gabriella Coleman’s account of past and present events and two-time …
Mark Diston, 1 Nov 2014
Alan Turing (Benedict Cumberbatch) and the Bombe machine

Benedict Cumberbatch in The Imitation Game: Glimpses of Turing's life, but that's all ...

Film Review It’s never easy to portray the life of a genius on film. Although their achievements and abilities might fascinate us, there’s not a lot of visual appeal in watching someone being good at maths, or painting really well or endlessly practising music. To make a good biopic of genius, it helps if your subject also led an eventful …

Trolls pop malformed heads above bridge to sling abuse at Tim Cook

Apple boss Tim Cook has been bombarded with homophobic abuse after revealing his sexuality to the world on Thursday. Cook spoke out yesterday to say he considered "being gay among the greatest gifts God has given me". Trolls, religious nuts and plain old homophobes from the four corners of the internet immediately took to …
Jasper Hamill, 31 Oct 2014
Seth Rogen and Steve Wozniak

Seth Rogen bags Woz role in Sorkin's Steve Jobs biopic

It looks like beardy funnyman Seth Rogen will take on the role of Steve Wozniak in the second biopic of Apple guru Steve Jobs, which has Batman actor Christian Bale slated to take the lead role. Seth Rogen and Steve Wozniak That's Rogen on the left and Woz on the right Bearded Rogen will play the bearded Woz, sources have …
Instagram logo

Facebook sticks vid ads on faux retro photo app biz Instagram

Photo filter and poster biz Instagram has started serving up those pic and video ads it has been promising for a while now, with marketing from folks like Disney and the CW starting today. Youtube Video The Facebook subsidiary said last year that it had “big ideas for the future” and they involved making money out of its user …
Assassin's Creed III

NATO declares WAR on Google Glass, mounts attack alongside MPAA

Moviegoers will soon be asked to stash their Google Glass before taking in a flick, much like they're asked to pocket their mobile phones today. The National Association of Theater Owners (NATO... no, really!) and the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) said in a joint statement that NATO's member theaters would …
Shaun Nichols, 30 Oct 2014
Banksy's Portobello Road artwork

Banksy denies Banksy impostor's claim to Banksy.com – which isn't owned by Banksy

Street artist Banksy is renowned for satirizing society through the unexpected, and a battle over his namesake dot-com domain seems to have provided him with another opportunity. We reported earlier this month that the anonymous artists appeared to have gone corporate, filing a trademark infringement case against the owner of …
Kieren McCarthy, 29 Oct 2014

Apple to PROTECT YOU from dreaded TROUSER EXPLOSIONS

Apple has patented a fireproof material that could finally banish the misery of mobile phone trouser explosions. All too often, mobes can go pop in a person's pocket, causing hideous burns and ruining a perfectly good pair of trousers to boot. Now Apple has decided to step in and make sure that fanbois' nether regions are safe …
Jasper Hamill, 29 Oct 2014

Verizon bankrolls tech news site, bans tech's biggest stories

Updated Telecoms giant and proud defender of the third estate, Verizon, has entered the media market on its own, bankrolling a new tech news site, SugarString. There is a small catch, however. According to one reporter who says he was approached to work for the site, writers for SugarString are banned from reporting on or even …
Kieren McCarthy, 29 Oct 2014
Pirate Flag

Big Content outs piracy hotbeds: São Paulo, Beijing ... TORONTO?

The Motion Picture Ass. of America (MPAA) is once again looking to rat out known piracy hotbeds to the US government, both online and in real life – and Canada's largest urban center remains high on its list. The MPAA said on Monday that it had provided the office of the US Trade Representative (USTR) with a list of markets that …
Shaun Nichols, 29 Oct 2014
One Night in Hell - diableries animation

El Reg spends One Night in Hell with Queen's Brian May

Pics The sight of rock stars indulging their interests can sometimes leave onlookers feeling a little queasy – remember McCartney's fondness for Rupert Bear? No? Well let's not go there… However, Brian May, yes he of Queen fame, appeared at Dolby’s private Atmos cinema in London yesterday to tell of where one of his abiding passions …
Bob Dormon, 28 Oct 2014
Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos

Amazon hopes FIRE STICK will light up its video service

Amazon hopes a new dongle will revive its flagging video ambitions. The Fire TV stick is essentially the same as Google’s Chromecast concept: a low cost HDMI dongle bundled with a taster of Amazon’s own entertainment service – and a miniature version of the Fire TV box 'n’ remote that it revealed in April. Both old box and new …
Andrew Orlowski, 28 Oct 2014

Amazon wants YOU to LOOK OVER its BOOKS – its slush pile, that is

Amazon wants you to help it figure out what books it should publish and sell on its e-book store. The company said on Monday that its Kindle Scout platform will enlist readers to review excerpts of unpublished books and vote for which ones should be published by Amazon's Kindle Press division. According to the company, any US- …
Shaun Nichols, 28 Oct 2014
ipod u2 edition

Just don't blame Bono! Apple iTunes music sales PLUMMET

Elevation and Vertigo may be songs that hit the high notes for Apple boss Tim Cook's chums U2, but the same can't be said for sales of iTunes music right now, which have reportedly nosedived since the start of 2013. According to the Wall Street Journal, iTunes revenue witnessed a rapid decline of around 13 per cent to 14 per …
Kelly Fiveash, 26 Oct 2014
Doctor Who In the Forest of the Night

Reg hacks see the woods or the trees In the Forest of the Night

TV Review El Reg's resident Doctor Who fans – Brid-Aine Parnell, Gavin Clarke and Jennifer Baker – have come together to discuss the plot of tonight's episode, In the Forest of the Night. Please note: THIS IS A POST-UK-BROADCAST REVIEW – THERE WILL BE SPOILERS! Brid-Aine says: After the tentative forward momentum achieved in Mummy on …
Barry Allen and Iris West in The Flash

The Flash lives up to its name with a fast-paced pilot full of potential

TV Review PILOT PREVIEW WITH VERY, VERY MILD SPOILERS ... Since Arrow has been such a success for DC Comics and Warner Bros Television, a spin-off has been created in the form of The Flash, Central City’s speedster superhero. After already testing the water with a little teaser in last season’s Arrow, Grant Gustin takes on the Barry …

FCC: You'll have to wait EVEN LONGER for faster wireless broadband

The FCC confirmed today that it will delay its planned wireless broadband spectrum auction until at least 2016. The US regulator blamed a court case for holding up efforts to sell TV frequencies to cell networks, which will then use the airwaves for faster and broader mobile data services. The commission hoped to auction off …
Shaun Nichols, 24 Oct 2014
Interstellar movie black hole special effects

Kip Thorne explains how he created the black hole for Interstellar

Vid Youtube Video Ahead of the release of Christopher Nolan’s hotly anticipated space movie Interstellar, the film-makers reveal how theoretical physicist Kip Thorne helped them to create scientifically accurate special effects for a black hole. It’s a pretty clever piece of marketing for the movie, which has relied on the …
Star Trek: Deep Space 9

CBS goes OTT, releases EVERY EPISODE of Star Trek EVER MADE

Only a day after HBO announced its OTT intentions, CBS followed suit and unveiled its own online ambitions – with archived content, current shows and livestreams in CBS’s 14 largest markets. The service is available now and costs $5.99 per month, which is much cheaper than the $15 that HBO is apparently due to charge. And right …
Faultline, 24 Oct 2014

Lucky you. Twitter offers you its 'Digits' (for mobe app sign-ins)

Twitter's launch of a service that provides a new way to sign up to apps without using passwords has received a cautious welcome from security experts. The new service, Digits, is designed to offer application developers a simpler, password-free login option for their mobile applications. The utility is designed to fit into the …
John Leyden, 24 Oct 2014

Meet Mr Gamification: He's got a NUDGE or two for you

Battle of Ideas Do you ever get invited to talk and wish that Steve Bong was there instead of you? That’s what happened to me last weekend. The subject was "gamification" at the Battle of Ideas. Things got really strange, really quickly – I think you’ll find what is coming up to be quite eye-opening - but I’m sure Steve would have taken it all …
Andrew Orlowski, 24 Oct 2014

Remember the Aereo streaming TV service? Wasn't it COOL? Well, it's pretty much dead now

Embattled streaming TV service Aereo was dealt a fatal blow Thursday as a US judge barred the service from broadcasting live television streams. Judge Alison Nathan ruled in favor of the broadcasting companies looking to bar the service from showing their feeds to customers online, issuing a temporary injunction to block the …
Shaun Nichols, 24 Oct 2014

Adobe spies on readers: EVERY DRM page turn leaked to base over SSL

Adobe has tweaked its Digital Editions 4 desktop ebook reader to now encrypt the data it secretly sends back to headquarters – data that details a user's reading habits. Previously, information on every single tome accessed by Digital Editions 4 was phoned home unencrypted, allowing anyone eavesdropping on a network to intercept …
Iain Thomson, 23 Oct 2014
Costumed pirate

France to draft blacklist banning alleged piracy websites – what could POSSIBLY go wrong?

France looks set to increase funding and power for its controversial piracy-battling Hadopi agency. Hadopi started life as a law to stamp out the illegal sharing of copyrighted stuff – primarily by sending warning emails to people caught pirating movies, games, and so on: after three strikes, your ISP is supposed to boot you …
Jennifer Baker, 23 Oct 2014

Zuckerberg bombshell: Man married to Chinese woman speaks Chinese in China

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg shocked a Chinese audience with his mastery of Mandarin – a language that's as difficult to master as his website's privacy settings. The advertising kingpin was speaking at Tsinghua University in China, where he stunned attendees by ditching English and speaking in Mandarin for more than half an …
Jasper Hamill, 23 Oct 2014

Disney and chums halt Comcast-TWC, AT&T-DirecTV weddings

US watchdog the FCC has hit the brakes while scrutinizing the proposed mergers of Comcast-Time Warner, and AT&T-DirecTV. On Wednesday, the comms industry monitor said [PDF] that its comment and review processes for the pair of mergers would be put on hold following pressure to publish the cable companies' contracts with TV …
Shaun Nichols, 23 Oct 2014

How to get $542m from Google: Dress as a SPACEMAN with dayglo dancers – Magic Leap

Vid Google and A-list venture capitalists have given more than half a billion dollars to Magic Leap, a mysterious startup that aims to "make computing more natural". Magic Leap Magic Leap ... your guess is as good as ours Magic Leap is based down in Florida, and has no products, revenue, or public business plan, as far as we can …
Iain Thomson, 21 Oct 2014
Lego Pirate Captain

YARR! Pirates walk the plank: DMCA magnets sink in Google results

Advert slinger Google has said it's started burying websites that help people illegally download copyrighted stuff. The web giant claimed today it sinks pro-piracy sites way down its search results – yes, beyond page two, the grim wastelands of the web. It's hoped this may dissuade people from seeking out pirated movies, games, …
Shaun Nichols, 20 Oct 2014