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Microsoft discovers long-lost phone division down back of sofa

Nokia phones generated $2.6bn in revenue for Microsoft as the division arrested its decline. Redmond sold 9.3m Lumia devices in the quarter, the most ever. In the quarter a year ago, Nokia (then the owner) shifted 8.8m Lumias. In June only 5.8m Lumias moved. The company had failed to refresh its product line as it, and other …
Andrew Orlowski, 24 Oct 2014
Job cuts jpeg

'Careful management of headcount' for Juniper after tepid quarter

Juniper Networks has reported a difficult third quarter that left CEO Shaygan Kheradpir “disappointed” by “lower-than-anticipated demand from service providers, particularly in the U.S.” Revenue was $1,126 million, down eight per cent from 2014's second quarter and five per cent compared to the same Q3 in 2013. Non-GAAP net …
Simon Sharwood, 24 Oct 2014
Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos

Jeff Bezos rolls up another $437m, lights Amazon's cigar with it

It's not black magic that Amazon works on its financial results each quarter but red magic – because however massive a haul of cash the company pulls in, it just can't seem to turn a profit. Odd, that. The e-tailer's net sales were up 20 per cent for the third quarter of its fiscal 2014, year-over-year, bringing in a whopping $ …
Neil McAllister, 24 Oct 2014
Satya Nadella

Microsoft: Cloud-o-bile still only small slice of softening revenue pie

Microsoft reported revenues that beat estimates for Q1 of fiscal 2015, boosted by strong growth in cloud and mobility. But its solid-looking numbers belied ongoing softness in its traditional core markets. Total revenues for the three months ending on September 30 were $23.20bn, a 25 per cent year-on-year increase but flat from …
Neil McAllister, 23 Oct 2014
Alun Taylor dons Google tech specs Google Glass

Google Glassholes are UNDATEABLE – HP exec

Hoping to woo the ladies with your shiny new Google Glass? Don't bother, because no woman in her right mind would let a Glasshole anywhere near her data centre, an HP bigwig has claimed. Ray Edwards, managing director for HP’s New Ventures division at Network Portfolio and Architecture, reportedly slammed the sex appeal of …
Jasper Hamill, 23 Oct 2014

Nokia STORMS back into profit, FREE from phones and Windows

Nokia reported solid results on Thursday even after giving long-suffering shareholders a dividend and taking the hit of a one-time charge. Profits (non-International Financial Reporting Standards*) rose to €353m on earnings of €3.3bn, up from €2.9bn a year ago. With the Windows Phone albatross thrown to a reluctant new owner, …
Andrew Orlowski, 23 Oct 2014
Tim Cook Apple CEO with glowing green eyes, dark glasses a la Demon Headmaster

Chinese hackers slurp iCloud passwords, Apple's CEO jumps into his jet for China

Apple boss Tim Cook has met top Chinese officials following a major attack on the security of the iCloud website – an assault that some security analysts have blamed on Beijing. Cook was snapped in full demon headmaster mode heading into a pow-wow with Vice Premier Ma Kai. According to the Xinhua news agency, the issues of " …
Jasper Hamill, 22 Oct 2014
EMC_REvs_To_Q3fy2014

EMC profits flatline as VCE joins the storage-tastic federation

For its third quarter EMC reported good numbers but the news is overshadowed by the expected VCE announcement and the activist investor pressure on the Hopkinton firm. EMC recorded a satisfyingly chunky nine per cent uptick in consolidated quarterly revenues for its third 2014 quarter – a round $6bn compared to $5.5bn a year ago …
Chris Mellor, 22 Oct 2014
channel_teaser_money_top

Facebook pays INFINITELY MORE UK corp tax than in 2012

Facebook has responded to critics who attacked the free content ad network for contributing exactly zero bucks to UK corporation tax in 2012, by dishing up a a tiny sum of just £3,000 to HM Revenue & Customs last year. However, the £3,169 bill Facebook owed to the Treasury in 2013 was offset by tax credits – which in fact left …
Kelly Fiveash, 22 Oct 2014
Lufthansa plane

Lufthansa tosses IT biz to Big Blue, inks outsource deal with IBM

Lufthansa has announced that it’s about to sell off its IT infrastructure division to IBM and rent IT services from Big Blue in an outsourcing partnership. The German airline has been restructuring itself in an effort to cut costs and said earlier this year that it was looking for a buyer for its IT biz so it could better …
putin topless

VMware's new enemy no. 1 isn't Hyper-V, it's Vladimir Putin

You can tell a lot about how a company is going by listening to financial analysts' questions at the end of an earnings conference call. When things are good – as they were in VMware's Q1 earnings call – analysts can almost gush. If there's a hint of weakness or illogic, analysts can find all sorts of things about which to ask …
Simon Sharwood, 22 Oct 2014
Yahoo! CEO Marissa Mayer

Marissa! Mayer! ends! 21! month! dry! spell! as! Yahoo! sales! grow!

Yahoo! is living in hope of a financial resurgence as the company logged a rare uptick in revenues. The Purple Palace said its third-quarter GAAP revenues rose one per cent over the same period last year to $1.148bn, up from $1.139bn in 2013. This marks the first time in seven quarters the firm was able to increase GAAP revenues …
Shaun Nichols, 21 Oct 2014

ARM heads: Our cores still have legs ... as shares tumble amid 'peak smartphone' fears

British chip design firm ARM Holdings painted a rosy picture of its future growth on Tuesday, but it missed analysts' revenue expectations for the third quarter of its fiscal 2014, reigniting old fears that slowing smartphone growth will hurt the firm's long-term profitability – even though it's looking just fine in the near …
Neil McAllister, 21 Oct 2014
Slide from Tim Cook's presentation at the Apple product roll-out event of October 22, 2013, indicating Apple's single-minded focus

Yes, yes, Steve Jobs. Look what I'VE done for you lately – Tim Cook

Apple CEO Tim Cook has written to his employees to tell them that the past few quarters have been the most successful in the company's history. To the faithful, only the golden age of Steve Jobs can be described in such terms. But even though he's failed to release an exciting new product range since the first fruity fuhrer was …
Jasper Hamill, 21 Oct 2014
Cloud security

Defence giant BAE coughs $230m for cloud heavy SilverSky

BAE Systems has bought cloud-based email and network security firm SilverSky for $232.5m, seemingly finding the US company's products and customer base irresistible. Ian King, chief executive, BAE Systems, said: "SilverSky has an established sales force, a complementary suite of scalable products and a large installed customer …
John Leyden, 21 Oct 2014

Satya Nadella's $84.3m pay packet: Did he use the 'female superpower' to get it?

Satya Nadella famously told women to not bother asking for pay rises, which now looks a bit rich after Microsoft revealed his $83.4m pay packet. After all, what would you know about asking for a raise when your pay packet is more already than the combined wages of 800 Microsoft minions? Redmond announced its great leader's …
Jasper Hamill, 21 Oct 2014
Photo of a stack of $100 bills

IBM storage revenues sink: 'We are disappointed,' says CEO

IBM's storage revenues are continuing to slump, with the latest overall IBM results causing the abandonment of a long-term earnings/share goal. IBM's overall revenues for its third 2014 quarter were $22.4bn, down six per cent year-on-year and down 8.2 per cent sequentially. Net income was $3.5bn; it was $4.1bn in the previous …
Chris Mellor, 20 Oct 2014

Routine WHAT NOW? Bank of England’s CHAPS payment system goes TITSUP

The CHAPS system used to handle most bank-to-bank transfers in the UK has collapsed, with all mortgage payments currently on pause. We were told that the problem was due to an update over the weekend, when the details of new CHAPS users were being added and old ones removed. This is meant to be a routine operation, but a glitch …
Jasper Hamill, 20 Oct 2014
Image two from the patent document

Hey, iPhone 6 fanbois: Apple's bonk to 'Pay' app IS GO

Apple will open up its new bonk-to-pay system to its newest phones, the iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus, today, allowing fanbois to bonk shiny-shinys to purchase stuff online or at 220,000 stores. However, non-Americans need not cut up their cards just yet, because Apple Pay is only available Stateside and it is unclear when it will …
Jasper Hamill, 20 Oct 2014
FabricCache from QLogic

QLogic: Healthy fibre boosted our bottom line

QLogic has reported second quarter revenues of $127.5m, up 7 per cent on the previous quarter, and 13 per cent on the year-ago period. The server storage and Ethernet interconnect business also reported flat year-on-year profits of $11m, but up a whacking 83 per cent from the first quarter. Second quarter growth was attributed …
Chris Mellor, 20 Oct 2014
Blood image

SDI Wars: EMC must FORGET ARRAYS, adapt or disappear

Sysadmin blog Register storage supremo Chris Mellor has recently been reporting on EMC's slow descent into corporate depression due to a combination of activist investors and recalcitrant internecine political strife. There's nothing surprising here, I've been hearing the same things all across the EMC federation, though I've no inclination …
Trevor Pott, 20 Oct 2014
David Cameron, UK prime minister

Happiness economics is bollocks. Oh, UK.gov just adopted it? Er ...

Worstall @ the Weekend As is ever the case, by the time squares have caught on to the value of whatever hipsters have been doing this week, the latter are off doing something else entirely. Much the same happens with economic fashions: it takes time for those not actually involved in the subject to grok to what the cool kids are saying and by the time …
Tim Worstall, 19 Oct 2014

Flash daddy SanDisk: Revenues up, but Wall St unimpressed

SanDisk's third 2013 quarter showed a healthy annual and quarterly increase but subdued profits, while Fusion-io integration costs and mis-met Wall Street expectations sent the shares down a tad. Revenues were $1.75bn – a record. They were $1.63bn a year ago, meaning a seven per cent increase, and the same in the second 2014 …
Chris Mellor, 17 Oct 2014

AMD-AMMIT! Hundreds face axe at chip maker as PC, graphics crash

Following a grim earnings report on Thursday, AMD has announced a restructuring plan that includes axing seven per cent of its workforce by the end of the year. The plan will see AMD issuing layoff notices to about 710 employees worldwide, and is expected to cost the chipmaker $57m in severance payments. "While decisions that …
Neil McAllister, 17 Oct 2014

Giant advertising, sorry, 'Search' firm Google makes BILLIONS - but not enough for Wall St

Google did manage to shrink its dependency on advertising in the third quarter of fiscal 2014 – albeit slightly – but lest you doubt what the online giant's actual business is, ads run mainly beside other people's content still accounted for 89 per cent of its sales. And as has been the case for many consecutive quarters, sales …
Neil McAllister, 16 Oct 2014
AMD CEO Lisa Su

AMD pays new CEO $150K LESS than her male predecessor

The latest insult to women working in tech came courtesy of chipmaker AMD, whose new CEO Lisa Su will take home a smaller base salary than Rory Read, the man she recently replaced. Su rocked up at AMD early 2012 as senior veep and GM for global business units and was made chief operating officer in January, raking in some $650, …
Paul Kunert, 16 Oct 2014
Love

Huawei and Accenture pucker up for enterprise love-in

Huawei looks to be side-stepping glacier-paced reseller recruitment by getting chummy with consultancy Accenture to work on carrier biz support services and private cloudy enterprise stuff. The ink is still drying on the pact but will see the pair “develop joint initiatives” in China, southeast Asia, other emerging markets and …
Paul Kunert, 16 Oct 2014
Sky Anytime+

Sky's tech bets pay off: Pay TV firm unveils blazing growth for Q1

Sky posted record numbers as its tech bets continue to pay off. BskyB’s ARPU (average revenue per customer) reached £576, up £32 from two years ago, with triple-pay punters accounting for 37 per cent of its 15.5 million customer base. Just over 11.5 million of those are retail customers, and just over 4 million wholesale. The …
Andrew Orlowski, 16 Oct 2014
Lock security

Cyber-punch-drunk eBay slashes revenue forecasts

eBay continues to bear the scars from a cyber attack that led to the leakage of 145 million users data, as the footfall in its third party online tat bazaar came in below management expectations during calendar Q3. President and CEO John Donahoe said the e-commerce platform has a runway to grow, “however, without a doubt, eBay …
Paul Kunert, 16 Oct 2014
Qualcomm

Chipzilla of the mobile world Qualcomm wants to slurp Brit vendor CSR... for £1.6bn

UK Bluetooth specialist CSR looks set to wed Qualcomm Inc, after the mobile chip giant said it had agreed to buy the company for £1.6bn ($2.5bn). San Diego-based Qualcomm said that the acquisition would allow it to beef up the firm's Internet of Stuff and car entertainment businesses. The company's chief Steve Mollenkopf said …
Team Register, 15 Oct 2014

'Theoretical' Nobel economics explain WHY the tech industry's such a damned mess

Worstall on Wednesday Jean Tirole was this year's Nobel Laureate in Economics* and what the prize was awarded (in part) for should interest people around here. Tirole's work has often been about how this tech industry of ours works and what the hell anyone should be doing to try and regulate it – if, indeed, it should be regulated at all. This is …
Tim Worstall, 15 Oct 2014

NO MORE DOUBLE IRISH, thunders Dublin. Erm, from 2020 that is

The Irish Finance Minister announced the end of the "Double Irish" tax break in his budget speech on Tuesday. Tech giants such as Facebook, Google, Apple and LinkedIn have taken advantage of Ireland’s lenient tax set-up for decades. But due to external pressure from Brussels and elsewhere, the emerald isle will outlaw the …
Jennifer Baker, 14 Oct 2014
management consumerisation

Ingram UK basks in rosy glow of ... successful cost-cutting

Throwing costs overboard, smaller interest repayments and walking away from lower-margin business beautified Ingram Micro UK’s bottom line in calendar ’13, as its latest Companies House filing reveals. The Milton Keynes-based biz reported turnover of £968.5m, up 2.15 per cent, or 1.4 per cent when inter-group trade (£36.7m) was …
Paul Kunert, 14 Oct 2014
Magic Leap's mysterious tech for "cinematic reality"

Google tosses cash wad into $500m Magic Leap tin – report

Google is leading a sizeable funding round for mysterious “cinematic reality” firm Magic Leap, which is building hardware and software for what its chief exec describes as “the most natural and human-friendly wearable computing interface in the world”. Is this the mysterious tech of Magic Leap? Credit: Magic Leap website …
Satya Nadella

Nadella's Karmagate howler was response to MICROSOFT BOARD DIRECTOR – report

Satya Nadalla’s Karmagate will spark an examination at the highest levels within Microsoft of women’s pay and its corporate culture. That’s according to computer scientist Maria Klawe, the person whose softball questioning of Microsoft’s CEO at a women-in-tech event saw Nadella land himself in hot water last week. Klawe is …
Gavin Clarke, 13 Oct 2014
EE 4G banner

EE TV brings French broadband price war to the UK

While Vodafone is no stranger to TV in its territories and last week added the Netherlands to other locations where it offers TV, such as Spain and Germany, the move by EE in the UK seems a far more serious one. It is an offer that bundles free TV with a broadband order, just like the four French Telcos – Orange, Free, SFR and …
Faultline, 13 Oct 2014

Beardie Branson backs Blockchain's Bitcoin bandwagon

British business beardie Richard Branson has invested in Blockchain. Not the Bitcoin ledger, but a custom Bitcoin wallet that functions through an iOS app. The blockchain, in Bitcoin terms, is the master ledger of all Bitcoin transactions. For all the brouhaha about Bitcoin being anonymous, the blockchain is downloaded – and …
Simon Rockman, 10 Oct 2014

Breaking news: Man with Apple shares really wishes they were worth even more

Apple's $603,580,000,000 market cap – the largest ever in history – isn't big enough for Carl Icahn. The activist investor said Thursday that Apple is UNDERVALUED, and CEO Tim Cook should do more to massively increase the stock price. Icahn, who owns 53 million shares in Apple, thinks the $101 stock price is too low, and he has …
Shaun Nichols, 9 Oct 2014
Vulture

Activist investors DESTROY COMPANIES. Don't get me started on share dealings...

Comment Public companies have four groups of stakeholders: shareholders; execs paid with share performance in mind; other workers; and their customers. Shareholders and share value-incentivised execs are ripping the heart out of many public companies, siphoning off their wealth, going for short-term in favour of long-term interests, and …
Chris Mellor, 9 Oct 2014
Fight sticker

Toys fly from prams as HP rivals stoke FUD fires on its split

It's handbags at dawn in the PC market as rivals round on HP in a bid to sow the seeds of fear, uncertainty and doubt regarding the corporation’s plan to split the business in two. As world + dog knows, the Palo Alto titan is to create HP Inc to house its computer and printing businesses, and Hewlett Packard Enterprise to sell …
Paul Kunert, 9 Oct 2014

HTC débuts Desire Eye, 'GoPro-slapper' RE digital snapper

HTC doesn’t reckon it needs any funding next year or even the one after that, according to its chief financial officer, who spoke at the launch of HTC's Desire Eye, a new Android phone with a 13MP camera for "selfies". Chialin Chang told Reuters that the Taiwanese firm has no debt, $1.7bn in cash and isn’t worried about tapping …

Apple and GT: Sapphire glass is cracked, but still not broken

Apple's use of the legendary tough and durable sapphire glass in its equally legendary products hangs in the balance following the collapse of its main supplier. GT Advanced Technologies filed for bankruptcy protection on Monday, causing its share price to crash and burn — falling by 93 per cent to a measly 80 cents. Now …
Jasper Hamill, 8 Oct 2014