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Assange

Assange™ is 'upset' that he WON'T be prosecuted for rape, giggles lawyer

The Swedish director of public prosecutions, Marianne Ny, has announced that she will end the investigation into Julian Assange's alleged sexual molestation and unlawful coercion. According to an update on her official website, Ny has now "discontinued the investigation of Julian Assange with respect to suspected sexual …
Team Register, 13 Aug 2015
London Overground and a Southeastern train near Bermondsey. Pic: Matt Buck

Apple's AirDrop abused by 'cyber-flashing' London train perv

Perverts have latched onto Apple's AirDrop as a means of pushing unsavoury content at unsuspecting commuters. Lorraine Crighton-Smith, 34, received two unsolicited pictures of a unknown man's penis on her iPhone via AirDrop as she was travelling to work on a train in south London. Crighton-Smith, who told the BBC she felt " …
John Leyden, 13 Aug 2015
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Lenovo CEO: We will axe 3,200 workers as our profits shrink to nowt

There’s no room for sentiment or emotion in business, as Lenovo showed today when it reported an 80 per cent crash in pre-tax profits and plans to axe 3,200 jobs across the group. Revenues for the three months ended 30 June grew three per cent, excluding the impact of for-ex conversions to $10.7bn – but the firm saw a 47 per …
Paul Kunert, 13 Aug 2015
3D Robotics drone in Richard Branson's house

Drone racing sells robot soul to Mammon with launch of racing league

The hitherto sexy underground world of drone racing is to follow in the footsteps of most spectator sports by becoming a commercialised advertisement platform, as New Yorkers prepare to receive their very own Drone Racing League™. A New York startup, Drone Racing League, Inc. filed its application to trademark Drone Racing …

Monster Scalextric Formula 1 circuit to go under the hammer

A rather impressive Scalextric track designed by F1 commentator and former driver Martin Brundle, featuring "the best corners, chicanes and sections" from 2015 Formula 1 circuits will go under the hammer later this month in aid of the BBC's Children in Need. Suffice it to say, the winning bidder will need an extremely large …
Lester Haines, 13 Aug 2015

Sex app Tinder in public meltdown – because a journo dared suggest it was, well, a sex app

Dating app developer Tinder went ballistic this week over the suggestion people might use it for facilitating casual sex. The official Twitter feed for the swipe-for-sexytime appmaker became an angry rant platform Tuesday after a Vanity Fair writer had the gall to suggest that attractive young professionals are using Tinder to …
Shaun Nichols, 13 Aug 2015

Aussies turn to comic cat videos for comfort

Internet cat videos really are conquering the world, or at the very least have started doing so in Australia, a nation now stripped of all sporting prowess, where the UK's Channel 5 production Cats Make You Laugh Out Loud has topped the nation's free-to-air TV ratings. First screened in the UK in January 2015, the show is …
Simon Sharwood, 13 Aug 2015
Amplify tablet

Rupert Murdoch rips up his own fondleslab foundry

Rupert Murdoch's unerring nose for a future tech market failure has struck again, with the company writing down its Amplify education business. Amplify, created out of the acquisition of Wireless Generation, and was supposed to corner the educational market. News acquired it for US$360 million in 2010, and subsequently poured …

Pure as the driven IPO: Upstart tells SEC it's go for stock market debut

Pure Storage, funded to the tune of $470 million and valued at around $3 billion, has filed for an IPO. The all-flash array biz was founded in 2009 and has taken in funding and grown fast every year. It's currently being ranked as the second highest player in the all-flash array market behind EMC, which Pure sees as its main …
Chris Mellor, 13 Aug 2015

Cisco kicks off Robbins' reign by beating the street

Cisco's new CEO Chuck Robbins has had the pleasure of reporting ahead-of-expectation results for Q4 of 2014/15. In the quarter that saw Robbins take over the big office from the seemingly-eternal John Chambers, Cisco reported year-on-year growth for the quarter of 3.9 per cent (US$12.8 billion). Full-year 2015 revenue was …
Turnbull's twitter feed by https://www.flickr.com/photos/paullyoung/  https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Australia's marriage equality vote should take place online

Australia's government has all-but-decided the nation should go to a plebiscite to decide whether local marriage laws should be altered to permit same-sex marriage. That vote should take place online. For those who oppose the plebiscite, or alterations to the Marriage Act, an online vote could be palatable as be cheaper and …
Simon Sharwood, 12 Aug 2015
Dell Venue 8 7840 front and rear

IT touts cough up $6m for flogging 'overpriced' PCs to US nuke boffins

The US Department of Justice (DoJ) will extract $5.9m from an American tech reseller accused of overcharging Uncle Sam's scientists. The DoJ said Technology Integration Group (TIG), aka PC Specialists Inc, snapped up Dell PCs, and then resold them at a much-inflated price to the US government's Sandia National Laboratory in …
Shaun Nichols, 12 Aug 2015

Want Edward Snowden pardoned? You're in the minority, say pollsters

Despite the best efforts of the internet, US citizens favor the filing of criminal charges against Edward Snowden, say researchers. A poll [PDF] of 2,069 American voters carried out by research firm Morning Consult found that 53 per cent of the public want Snowden to face trial, and those who support the whistleblower make up …
Shaun Nichols, 12 Aug 2015

Red-stained Opera wants someone to hug it and whisper: 'No more pain, no more tears'

Opera Software has announced a 45 per cent revenue boost for its second quarter of financial year 2015 while hinting at a possible buyout, but didn't draw much attention to its $3m losses. Chairman Sverre Munck said on Wednesday that “the board has seen an interest in different alliances and cooperations with Opera over the …
Jennifer Baker, 12 Aug 2015
Titanic sinking

HP arranges boardroom deck chairs as The Big Split looms

HP has confirmed the captains of industry who will sit on the two boards formed when the organization splits in two. The IT giant will pull in execs from sectors ranging from automotive and clothing to private equity. The organization operationally splits this month. By 1 November, HP will legally separate to become HP Inc ( …
Paul Kunert, 12 Aug 2015

ICANN chairman loses mind over his domain-name privacy shakeup

The chairman of ICANN has been recorded ranting about domain-name privacy: the DNS overlord wants owners of "commercial" websites to reveal their personal details in the WHOIS database. Steve Crocker appeared on a webinar last week with a working group looking at how to improve ICANN's accountability before it is handed …
Kieren McCarthy, 12 Aug 2015
Pray for Mojo

NetApp decreasing in mass as top exec exits for Catholic Uni role

NetApp’s SVP for Americas Sales and its president of US public sector sales, Mark Weber, has left the company, taking up a position at the Washington-based Catholic University of America, a higher education institution founded by the US bishops. Thomas Stanley, currently SVP for Global Partner Sales and Alliances has stepped …
Chris Mellor, 12 Aug 2015
Graph of US dollar going up CC 2.0 https://www.flickr.com/photos/68751915@N05/ 401kcalculator.org.

Hey, CIOs: Tech prices are about to rocket, so get planning – Gartner

As currency changes make tech products more expensive, Gartner says CIOs need to re-examine their budgets. In the last year, the Euro, Japanese Yen and Brazilian Real have all dropped by about 20 per cent against the US Dollar, and according to Roberto Sacco, Gartner’s research director, that is likely to remain the case at …
Jennifer Baker, 12 Aug 2015
IBM 5150 PC

Care.data is a complete omnishambles, says study into hated scheme

The hated Care.data scheme was dysfunctional and undemocratic from the get-go, according to a new case study from wannabe boffins studying on Cambridge University's Masters of Public Policy programme. The peer-reviewed case study is published in Technology Science, which describes itself as an open-access journal for those …
ASUS Chair Jonney Shih Computex 2015 press conference

Smartphone sales looking rosy for Asus, despite PC meltdown

While the mobe power base is shifting from the traditional players to the new upstarts, with Samsung and HTC suffering at the hands of Huawei and Xiaomi, Asus is having a good time in the good old handset market. Sales were up from three million in the first quarter to five million in the second and the company is predicting …
Simon Rockman, 12 Aug 2015

Outsourcing tanker CSC sales growth torpedoed

Leaky outsourcing tanker CSC saw sales growth drift off on the horizon for yet another quarter – the first of its fiscal 2016 – but the services slinger is back in the black, without the help of tax benefits. The fact CSC slashed costs and expenses by nearly half a billion dollars had nothing to do with bottom line beefiness, …
Paul Kunert, 12 Aug 2015
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Symantec’s dismal results show need for Veritas sale

Symantec’s latest results, published on the day of the Veritas sell-off announcement, show a 14 per cent revenue decline and 49 per cent profit fall on the annual compare. Revenues of $1.5bn produced profits of $117m, compared with $1.74bn and $236m respectively a year ago. On the sequential compare, the previous quarter’s …
Chris Mellor, 12 Aug 2015
Green light

Colt shareholders grab Fidelity offer, declare 'we're outta here'

Reluctant telco Colt is edging closer to private ownership again, after a bunch of shareholders approved a 190-pence-per-share offer from private equity firm Fidelity to flee the loss-making biz. Fidelity was already a majority share owner in Colt when it approached the LSE-listed cloud wannabe in June, with a bid that values …
Paul Kunert, 12 Aug 2015
peter mandelson avatar

Labour Party website DDoS'd by ruly democratic mob

The interminable registration process for voters for the new Labour Party leader's election did not terminate this noon, as was planned, due to the party website dropping offline, following an effective, if accidental, DDoS attack from a flood of well-meaning visits generated by eager, if incredibly tardy, new supporters. The …
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Speaking in Tech: Google, Alphabet spelling out their plans

Podcast speaking_in_tech Greg Knieriemen podcast enterprise Hosted by Greg Knieriemen, Ed Saipetch and Sarah Vela. This week it's Ed and Greg talking about big moves for Google, EMC and VMware, and a seemingly bad move for Nutanix. Our special guest this week is Brad O'Neill, co-founder of TechValidate, fresh from being acquired by …
Team Register, 12 Aug 2015
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Typewriters suck. Yet we're infinitely richer for those irritating machines

Worstall on Wednesday One of the things we greybeards have a seriously difficult time getting over to the youngsters is quite how much life sucked back in the old days. It's easy enough to look at the bald economic statistics and see that incomes haven't moved up much (for the UK) or even at all (for the US) in recent decades. Yet when anyone who …
Tim Worstall, 12 Aug 2015

Apple and Google are KILLING KIDS with encryption, whine lawyers

Children are being raped, citizens murdered, and lost souls trafficked for sex and the police can't do anything about it thanks to Apple and Google, senior government lawyers and a top cop have claimed. In an op-ed in The New York Times, Manhattan district attorney Cyrus Vance Jr; Adrian Leppard, commissioner of the City of …
Iain Thomson, 12 Aug 2015

Doubts cast on Islamic State's so-called leak of US .mil, .gov passwords

Updated Islamic State's frothing fanatics have leaked online what they claim to be the email addresses and plaintext passwords of 1,500 American military personnel – including CIA staff. The details include full names, email addresses, unencrypted passwords, ZIP codes, places of work, and telephone numbers. They come in a format that …
Kieren McCarthy, 12 Aug 2015
Australian attorney general George Brandis by https://www.flickr.com/photos/cebitaus/ cc 2.0 attribution https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/

Oz carriers to Attorney General Brandis: get OUT of our networks

Australia's telecommunications industry has spoken with one voice: George Brandis Attorney-General-as-Sysadmin legislation is a mess. The Attorney-General's (AG's) department has published the submissions received on the legislation (here), and among the ten industry-written submissions there's not one in support of the …

Russia threatens to block Reddit over dopey posts

Russia's telecommunications regulator, Roskomnadzor has taken to social media to ask Reddit to stop offering advice on how to grow drugs. The agency has posted to social network vk.com, Russia's second-most-popular site according to Alexa, to post news that it has received a request from Russia's Federal Drug Control Service ( …
Simon Sharwood, 12 Aug 2015
Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton kept top-secret SIGINT emails on her home email server

Hillary Clinton's personal email server and one of her thumb drives held emails containing classified and top-secret information. That's according to a note by the US Intelligence Community Inspector General. While US Secretary of State, Clinton had access to American intelligence. It appears some of Uncle Sam's sensitive …
Iain Thomson, 12 Aug 2015
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ZTE says it won't allow exec to appear in US court over arrest fears

Relations between Chinese telecoms vendor ZTE and the US federal government remain as tense as ever, with ZTE claiming it won't allow one of its executives to testify in a New York court over fears he will be detained if he enters the US. US District Judge Lewis Kaplan of the Southern District of New York had ordered Guo …
Neil McAllister, 12 Aug 2015
FCC paddling

Repeatedly robocalling? That's a paddlin' – a record $3m paddlin'

US broadband watchdog the FCC has issued the largest robocalling fine in its history to a Florida company accused of repeatedly harassing people. The commission has levied a $2.96m penalty against Travel Club Marketing, which was accused of making at least 185 automated calls using a robo-dialer. According to the FCC, Travel …
Shaun Nichols, 11 Aug 2015

Law prof Lessig vows to take cash out of politics by raising tons of money

Harvard law professor and author of internet bible Code and Other Laws of Cyberspace Lawrence Lessig is considering a run for US President on a single issue: getting big money out of America's politics. And the deciding factor in running? Whether he can raise $1m in the next month. A new website – LessigForPresident.com – is …
Kieren McCarthy, 11 Aug 2015
4 arrows signs in arrow on wooden wall

Sales up, profit up, but no champagne corks popping at Rackspace

The gods of tech sales finally smiled on Rackspace in calendar Q2 of 2015. But the biz isn't celebrating just yet, because it's public cloud arm is stuck in first gear. The cloud server-hosting biz reported an 11 per cent year-on-year growth in turnover to $489.4m (£314.2m) in the three months ended 30 June. Total costs and …
Paul Kunert, 11 Aug 2015
Assange

Assange™ to SQUAT in Ecuadorian broom closet for ANOTHER FIVE YEARS (maybe)

Julian Assange can set his alarm clock to wake him up in roughly five years' time, when he will be able to walk out of the Ecuadorian Embassy a free man – well, once he settles the matter of breaching his bail conditions with Scotland Yard, that is. The reason? As spotted by lawyer David Allen Green, Swedish law of limitation …
Kelly Fiveash, 11 Aug 2015

Insider trading ring hired 'Ukrainian hackers to scoop stock market'

The FBI says it has cracked open an insider-trading ring which employed Ukrainian hackers to pinch corporate announcements from news wires and then traded stocks based on the unreleased information. Nine men have been named in a pair of indictments filed in New York and New Jersey. Five of the nine were arrested in a series of …
willy wonka oompa loompa

B is for Brussels: Google's corporate rejig WON'T insulate firm against antitrust probes

Brussels confirmed late on Tuesday that Google's radical corporate shape-shifting that spawned parent company Alphabet would not "insulate" the Chocolate Factory from the EU's competition probes. The European Commission's competition spokesman Ricardo Cardoso told The Register: We have seen press reports that Google is …
Jennifer Baker, 11 Aug 2015

ICO fines anti nuisance call company for making nuisance calls

The Information Commissioner’s Office (ICO) has fined a company that blocks nuisance calls for making nuisance calls. The ICO announced yesterday that Point One Marketing Ltd (previously Conservo Digital Ltd) from Bournemouth would have to fork out £50,000 for harassing people. The company, which trades as "Stop the Calls", …
Jennifer Baker, 11 Aug 2015
Department of Homeland Security

Brit-educated bloke takes Dept of Homeland Security's infosec reins

The US Department of Homeland Security (DHS) has appointed Andy Ozment, currently the Assistant Secretary of the Office of Cybersecurity and Communications – the DHS's main processing center for threat information sharing – as leader of its cybersecurity centre. Ozment will remain in his current assistant role, while assuming …
Skier

Poor Imation's revenues continue their never-ending death spiral

Imation’s board may be thinking that breaking up is hard to do. But, with the continuing decline in revenues, the only way to get any value out of the company may be to sell off the promising parts and forget the rest. It carried on plunging down the revenue slope with a 15.7 per cent annual decline in its second-quarter 2015 …
Chris Mellor, 11 Aug 2015
Doctor Who: Empty Child

IWF shares 'hash list' with web giants to flush out child sex abuse images online

The UK's telco-backed Internet Watch Foundation has distributed a hash list of child abuse images to the likes of Google, Facebook and Twitter – in an attempt to hasten the removal of such content across the globe. Microsoft's PhotoDNA was one of the technologies used by the IWF to create the hashes, which serve as digital …
Kelly Fiveash, 11 Aug 2015