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Call of Duty: Black Ops 2

Giuliani's CALL OF DUTY: defeat Noriega in EPIC BOSS BATTLE

Former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani has been brought in to defend video games maker Activision in its case against former despot Manuel Noriega. The company said that Giuliani, now a practicing attorney, would lead the effort to dismiss a suit from Noriega for unauthorized use of likeness. Noriega – imprisoned on murder, …
Shaun Nichols, 23 Sep 2014
Slide from Tim Cook's presentation at the Apple product roll-out event of October 22, 2013, indicating the competition's confusion

Ab phab: Apple is Britain's coolest brand YET AGAIN

It might be news to anyone who watched queues of rabid fanbois queue for days to buy the iPhone 6, but apparently Apple is still Britain's coolest brand. In spite of its association with the heinously unhip U2, Apple's own trendiness is "untouchable", an organisation called CoolBrands has claimed. It has put Apple on the top of …
Jasper Hamill, 23 Sep 2014
NBN Co Customer premises equipment

Comms Alliance preps vectored VDSL2 connection rules

The Communications Alliance has published drafts two key standards associated with the introduction of vectored VDSL2 services to the Australian market. Once the standards are formally adopted, they will provide the specs permitting vectored VDSL2 modems to be connected to the network; and requires that line filters support the …

Google grand fromage Eric Schmidt: Backing climate denier lobby a 'mistake'

Google has become the latest tech giant to wonder if backing the American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC) is such a good idea. Last month, Microsoft withdrew its support for the group, saying it was no longer participating in the organisation's Communications and Technology Task Force. Google is another high-profile member …
Credit: Kelly Reeves https://www.flickr.com/photos/misskelly/5291975972/ CC-by-nd

Apple: Beats Music is safe with us. Just like your selfies in iCloud

Apple has denied rumors it is shutting down radio streaming service Beats Music, which it acquired with Dr Dre's Beat Electronics brand this year. The iThing giant told reporters on Monday that blog posts alleging the service will be discontinued are "not true". Apple didn't reply to our request for comment. It was rumored Beats …
Shaun Nichols, 23 Sep 2014
management regulation2

Harper review says ACCC telco functions need new regulator

The federal government is considering a competition review that suggests ditching the current telco competition regulator in favour of a new body. Key to the telecommunications reforms is the ACCC's more general role in regulating access to monopoly infrastructure, which also covers rail, ports and the like. In the …

Troll hunter Rackspace turns Rotatable's bizarro patent to stone

Cloud hosting firm Rackspace has claimed victory over another patent troll, this time not merely by successfully challenging a patent suit, but by actually having the patent in question invalidated. "Rotatable Technologies is now an ex-patent troll," Rackspace VP of intellectual property Van Lindberg wrote in a blog post on …
Neil McAllister, 23 Sep 2014
warehouse interior - wide aisle, big shelves

Germany strikes again over Amazon warehouse pay

German union Verdi has not given up on the hopes that striking at Amazon warehouses will change the mega-etailer’s mind about pay. Verdi wants workers at distribution centres in Bad Hersfeld, Leipzig, Graben, and Rheinberg to walk out as it continues its agitation over pay and working conditions. "Amazon still refuses to …

Hungry Brit giant Daisy Group extends D-day for buying consortium

The takeover saga at B2B tech and comms outfit Daisy Group looks set to rumble on for a bit longer yet after the London-listed biz again extended the deadline for a consortium of prospective buyers to prepare a bid. The Yorkshire-based firm last month received an approach to take the firm private from CEO Matthew Riley, backed …
Paul Kunert, 22 Sep 2014
Samsungs_Mitchinson

Huawei's top UK mobile man walks out in shock resignation

Mark Mitchinson, executive veep of Huawei's UK and Ireland consumer devices division, will leave the Chinese firm at the end of the month. Mitchison headed the consumer devices division for three years, but trade magazine Mobile reports that he is to leave on 30 September. Mobile speculates that he will be returning to his alma …
Simon Rockman, 22 Sep 2014

Joseph Gordon-Levitt to play Edward Snowden in Oliver Stone movie: report

Batman and Inception star Joseph Gordon-Levitt is reportedly set to play Edward Snowden in director Oliver Stone's latest film. Variety reported that Gordon-Levitt, 33 – who shot to fame as a kid in US sitcoms 3rd Rock from the Sun and Roseanne in the '90s – was asked by Stone to play the NSA master blabbermouth and the actor …
Kelly Fiveash, 22 Sep 2014

Bill Gates, drugs and the internet: Top 10 Larry Ellison quotes

When it comes to soundbites, Oracle chief executive Larry Ellison is a pro. Reporters show up not just to hear what he says, but how he says it. Bill Gates, Microsoft, SAP, IBM, cloud, yachting, his own phenomenal success – all have been subject to Ellison's barbs and meditations. Scheduled or off-the-cuff, his words turned a …
Gavin Clarke, 22 Sep 2014
Love

One-time direct sales giant Dell weds world's largest tech distie... in the UK

Privately owned Dell has finally tipped its cap in the direction of broadline distribution by hauling in Ingram Micro to carry its entire line card across Blighty. It is six-and-a-half years since Michael Dell reclaimed the CEO’s office and decided he actually needed the "middlemen", those he’d dismissed for decades, to help …
Paul Kunert, 22 Sep 2014

Staff unions call for removal of controversial UN patent agency chief

Three unions representing United Nations staff have called for the immediate removal of Francis Gurry, the controversial boss of the World Intellectual Property Organisation (WIPO). Guy Fawkes masks optional. via WikiCommons Licensed under CC by-SA 3.0 Late last Friday, WIPO's Director-General Francis Gurry sacked the head of …
John Oates, 22 Sep 2014
Joe Tucci EMC

EMC, HP blockbuster 'merger' shocker comes a cropper

+Comment EMC has been holding secret merger talks with HP that have since stalled, according to industry sources. The negotiations are said to have lasted almost 12 months, during which Dell executives mulled buying parts of EMC. But at the heart of the discussion was a proposed $132bn merger of the storage giant and HP, according to …
Chris Mellor, 22 Sep 2014
Kim Dotcom

Dotcom owns up: my name was 'poison'

In the wake of his failure to make a dent in New Zealand politics, Kim Dotcom has said his name alone spoiled the chances for the alliance of the Internet Party and the Mana Movement. The result was truly dismal: the Internet Party failed to secure a seat, and Mana's leader Hone Harawira lost his seat, as New Zealand's …
Rotten apple

Apple's iPhone 6 first-day sales are MEANINGLESS, mutters analyst

Record iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus sales trumpeted by Apple reveal very little about demand, says an analyst, this is because of the limited supplies of the mobes provided to stores in the initial few days. That's the conclusion of Barclay's Ben Reitzes, who said that while "response to the launch has been stronger than expected …
Team Register, 21 Sep 2014
Files

New UK.gov DATA SLURPING diplomat to push US telcos to share more subscriber info

The British government has appointed a senior diplomat who will act as a go-between on overseas data access jurisdiction issues, to push communication providers - particularly those based in the US - to share more information with UK spooks. The new post, created by Prime Minister David Cameron, comes after Whitehall pushed what …
Kelly Fiveash, 21 Sep 2014

Special pleading against mass surveillance won't help anyone

Earlier this week we discovered that not only are London's Metropolitan Police rampantly abusing data-snooping laws to hunt down and punish employees who talk to journalists, we also learned that they don't even bother counting how often they do this. Police abuse of these powers came to light, after police sources who talked to …
Gareth Corfield, 21 Sep 2014

Microsoft delays Xbox One launch... Big Trouble in Big China?

Microsoft pushed back the release of its Xbox One console in China to the end of 2014 on Sunday, without explaining why the launch of its product in the People's Republic had been delayed. The Indian launch is expected to take place tonight. GeekWire reported that Redmond needed "a bit more time to deliver the best experiences …
Team Register, 21 Sep 2014
Atmospheric snap of vultures silhouetted against a sunset on a wooden structure on the shore of a lake. (C) Jerry Rogers

Report: EE in talks to scoop up 60 Phones 4u stores from troubled High Street retailer

EE is reportedly the latest company to pick over the carcass of stricken British High Street mobile phone retailer Phones 4u, which fell into administration late last week. According to the Sunday Times (£), EE has until tonight to secure a deal to buy 60 stores from Phones 4u. The move comes after rival mobile network Vodafone …
Kelly Fiveash, 21 Sep 2014

Freshly uploaded EU digi-Czar is CLUELESS ON TECH but it's no big deal, says Steelie Neelie

It doesn’t matter that the incoming EU Commissioner for all things digital doesn’t really understand technology, so says Europe's current digi commish Neelie Kroes. Günther H* Oettinger, the man set to take over Steelie Neelie's role in November, is not renowned for being particularly up on Web2.0, with a marked lack of interest …
Jennifer Baker, 21 Sep 2014

THE DEATH OF ECONOMICS: Aircraft design vs flat-lining financial models

Crawling from the Wreckage John Watkinson continues his series of essays for El Reg in which he examines failures in society from banking and education to transport and IT. Here, with a critical eye on our economic plight, he looks at the methods employed by those doing the sums and their consequences. Here we are, several years into the aftermath of the …
John Watkinson, 21 Sep 2014

Ex-basketball star CUFFED on suspicion of stealing Apple gear worth $14k

An erstwhile NBA star was reportedly manacled by police in Arizona on Friday, after being accused of stealing $14,000 worth of gear during separate visits to an Apple store in the US. Ex-basketball player Rex Chapman, 46, who was a member of the Phoenix Suns team, allegedly nicked the goods using the self checkout as a cover at …
Team Register, 20 Sep 2014
Phones4u logo

Vodafone to buy 140 Phones 4u stores from stricken retailer

Vodafone has swooped on 140 Phones 4u stores just days after the retailer blamed the operator for contributing to its untimely demise when it slipped into administration late last Sunday. Administrator PwC said in a statement late on Friday that Voda had struck a deal with Phones 4u to re-brand the stores over the next few weeks …
Kelly Fiveash, 20 Sep 2014
Manneken Pis statue, Brussels

Almunia faces GRILLING from MEPs over FAILED Google settlement deal

Europe’s competition chief will face tough questions from MEPs next week over his failed attempts to reach an antitrust settlement deal with Google, which fell far short of sanctions being meted out to the ad giant. Joaquin Almunia - who will leave his post by the end of October - said in Florence, Italy, on Friday that Google …
Jennifer Baker, 20 Sep 2014
Apple iPhone 6

'People have forgotten just how late the first iPhone arrived ...'

QuoTW This was the week when IBM told a bunch of staffers that their skills weren’t up to scratch. To sort the problem out, Big Blue says it’s going to force them into mandatory training and make them give up ten per cent of their salaries for the privilege. In an email to workers, IBM said: A recent assessment revealed that some …

Yahoo! Made! $8bn! In! One! Day! And! You'll! Easily! Guess! How!

Sprawling web souk Alibaba didn't see its stock-market debut go as planned on Friday. It went much better. The Chinese giant closed its first day on the US stock market with a share price of $93, up 38 per cent from its opening price of $68 per share. The offering netted the biz $21.8bn in investment, and marked the largest IPO …
Shaun Nichols, 19 Sep 2014
ipod u2 edition

Bono: Apple will sort out monetising music where the labels failed

U2 singer Paul Hewson (aka Bono) has hinted that Apple is working on a new music format that will make buying music “irresistible” all over again. With Bono – who is a director of a VC fund with an interest in interactive media - it’s hard to tell to what extent he may be hyping his own interests, or how much he’s hyping Apple’s …
Andrew Orlowski, 19 Sep 2014
Larry Ellison, photo by Oracle Corporate Communications

Why Oracle CEO Larry Ellison had to go ... Except he hasn't

Analysis What's the difference between God and Larry Ellison? God doesn't think he's Larry Ellison. So goes the title of Mark Wilson's 2003 biography on Ellison, Oracle's now former chief executive – a man who by force of will forged a multi-billion dollar software empire. In the process, Ellison became not just the best-rewarded CEO on …
Gavin Clarke, 19 Sep 2014
Stock ticker board

Gigantic bazaar Alibaba WILL turn share price up to 11, er, $68 for biggest IPO ever in US

Chinese internet giant Alibaba has set the price of its shares to the max for what is shaping up to be the largest initial public offering (IPO) in US history. The company, which operates like a mashup of eBay and Amazon in the world's most populous country, said it will begin trading on Friday at $68 per share. At that price, …
Shaun Nichols, 19 Sep 2014
Red Hat 100 Dollar

Red Hat to Wall Street: I came here to chew FeedHenry and kick some ass. And I'm all out of FeedHenry

Red Hat surprised analysts with very strong earnings for the second quarter of its fiscal 2015 on Thursday, even as the Linux vendor looked to enter the enterprise mobile apps market with a €63.5m ($82m) acquisition. The Wall Street wizards were expecting Red Hat to report revenues of $437.13m but it beat that figure handily, …
Neil McAllister, 19 Sep 2014
SAP

How's this for a biz expense? SAP pops $8.3 BEELLION on company card for Concur

SAP has announced it has agreed to acquire enterprise travel and business expense management software purveyor Concur Technologies in an $8.3bn takeover deal. The Germany-based giant will shell out $129 per Concur share – a 20 per cent premium – in a deal it expects to close by the end of the year or early 2015. SAP plans to …
Shaun Nichols, 19 Sep 2014
Oracle headquarters

First day of Hurd'n'Catz at Oracle: It's dis-fur-pointing for Wall St

Oracle posted results that missed analysts' expectations yet again on Thursday, in a Q1 2015 earnings report that was all but overshadowed by the unexpected news that Larry Ellison has stepped down as CEO. Revenues for the quarter were $8.60bn, a scant 2.68 per cent gain over the same period a year ago and below even the lowest …
Neil McAllister, 18 Sep 2014
rockstar games bully/canis canem edit

Feds act to stop cyber-bullying, whatever it is, at some future point

Australia's Communications minister Malcolm Turnbull, and his parliamentary secretary Paul Fletcher, have jointly announced that it is working on legislation to allow the appointment of a Children’s e-Safety Commissioner. The Commissioner will oversee “an effective complaints system, backed by legislation, to get harmful …
Darren Pauli, 18 Sep 2014
Larry Ellison, photo by Oracle Corporate Communications

Oracle's Larry Ellison quits as CEO – new bosses are Hurd'n'Catz

Oracle has, in the past few minutes, announced that company founder Larry Ellison has stepped down as chief executive, effective immediately. Outspoken Ellison will remain with the company in the capacity of chief technology officer, and he will continue to oversee all software and hardware engineering functions, Oracle said in …
Neil McAllister, 18 Sep 2014
Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella

Microsoft's axeman Nadella fills baskets with 2,100 fresh heads

Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella has brought down his axe again, sending off the next batch of the 18,000 employees he has promised will lose their jobs by the end of the year. The Redmond supremo issued about 2,100 pink slips on Thursday, the Seattle Times reports, bringing the total number of layoffs to approximately 15,100 and …
Neil McAllister, 18 Sep 2014
Spam image

Ten years on, TEN PER CENT of retailers aren't obeying CAN-SPAM

One in 10 of the world’s largest online retailers are sill violating the CAN-SPAM Act, a full 10 years after the US anti-spam legislation went into effect. The finding comes from an audit by the Online Trust Alliance (OTA), a non-profit with the mission to enhance online trust. They also found that 70 per cent of 200 online …
John Leyden, 18 Sep 2014
Disney's Beagle Boys

Copyright thieves' cyberlockers slurp MILLIONS from honest creators, study finds

An economic study of direct download locker sites has found most are used for copyright infringement – and calculates that they're highly profitable. The study looked at download sites like Mega, Rapidgator and Depositfiles, and streaming lockers like Movshare.net, Flashx.tv and Streamcloud.eu. The study, carried out by NetNames …
Andrew Orlowski, 18 Sep 2014
Apple Watch

Driving with an Apple Watch could land you with a £100 FINE

We're struggling to find a single reason why anyone would want to wear an Apple Watch, but here's one reason why you shouldn't. The Institute of Advanced Motorists (IAM) has warned that anyone caught using a justWatch when driving will be be hit with the same punishment as if they had been using a mobile phone. This cautionary …
Jasper Hamill, 18 Sep 2014
Sony Xperia Nxt Series

Sony says year's losses will be FOUR TIMES DEEPER than thought

Sony shares dropped more than eight per cent today after the firm warned that it expects losses for this year to be four times as bad as it previously predicted. The Japanese company now reckons losses for the year to March will reach the dizzying heights of ¥230bn ($2.12bn) as its smartphone business suffers in comparison to …

Murdoch to Europe: Inflict MORE PAIN on Google, please

Rupert Murdoch's minions have written to the European Commissioner for Competition Joaquín Almunia, urging him to mete out stern punishment to Google in the ongoing search market dominance probe. The minion in question is News Corp Chief Executive Robert Thomson and his urgings are detailed in a letter he sent to Almunia last …
Simon Sharwood, 18 Sep 2014