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Nokia sign dismantled, with letters rearranged to spell 'ONKIA'

Finnish PM: Apple has DESTROYED FINLAND

The Prime Minister of Finland has claimed that Apple destroyed his country's biggest industry: mobile phone manufacturing. As if that wasn't bad enough, Alexander Stubb went on to say that Cupertino had also annihilated the paper-making industry, which was his nation's other pride and joy. However, a leading Finnish analyst has …
Jasper Hamill, 14 Oct 2014

Stop ROBOT exploitation, cry striking Foxconn workers

Workers at Chinese manufacturer Foxconn have reportedly gone on strike to ask for longer working hours, because automated production processes mean there is less lucrative overtime to be worked. Reports from China suggest that Foxconn workers went on strike after HP cut orders at one of the manufacturer's plants. That's bad news …
Simon Sharwood, 14 Oct 2014

€2 BILLION: Steelie Neelie wants US to pay for her Big Data splurge

Knowledge is power. That’s the message from Steelie Neelie as the EU Commission throws half a billion at “big data”. Digital Agenda Commissioner Neelie Kroes announced the EC would contribute €500m to a €2.5bn scheme to leverage the power of big data. The rest will come from industry. According to the Commission, mastering big …
Jennifer Baker, 13 Oct 2014
Abbott and Costello dressed as policemen

Irish data cops plan long soak in CASH BATH: Gee thanks, Facebook, Twitter, Google

Irish data protection authorities are expecting a cash injection in tomorrow’s budget. Currently the Office of Data Protection Commissioner (DPC) spends around €1.7m a year, but there are fears across Europe that this will be insufficient if the draft Data Protection Regulation becomes law in its current form. Facebook, Google …
Jennifer Baker, 13 Oct 2014
bose_QC15_01

Shh! Bose and Apple ink SECRET deal to settle 'noise-cancelling' suit

Bose has settled its patent dispute with Apple-owned Beats over noise-cancelling tech for headphones, although details of the deal remain confidential. Bose had sued Beats back in July, claiming that the newly fruity firm infringed on five of its patents for headphones relating to noise-cancelling, a technology Bose said it had …
Satya Nadella

Nadella's Karmagate howler was response to MICROSOFT BOARD DIRECTOR – report

Satya Nadalla’s Karmagate will spark an examination at the highest levels within Microsoft of women’s pay and its corporate culture. That’s according to computer scientist Maria Klawe, the person whose softball questioning of Microsoft’s CEO at a women-in-tech event saw Nadella land himself in hot water last week. Klawe is …
Gavin Clarke, 13 Oct 2014
EE 4G banner

EE TV brings French broadband price war to the UK

While Vodafone is no stranger to TV in its territories and last week added the Netherlands to other locations where it offers TV, such as Spain and Germany, the move by EE in the UK seems a far more serious one. It is an offer that bundles free TV with a broadband order, just like the four French Telcos – Orange, Free, SFR and …
Faultline, 13 Oct 2014
Parliament House Canberra by Flickr user OzMark17 used under CC Share and Share alike licence

Can do better: Tech industry report on Australia's tech curriculum

Industry has reacted unkindly to Australia's decision to walk away from previous plans to teach digital technologies – including computation thinking – to all students from kindergarten until the fourth year of high school. A review of Australia's national curriculum, released yesterday, recommended that the recently-created …
Simon Sharwood, 13 Oct 2014

Want a customer's call records Mr Plod? No probs

Three of the UK’s four largest mobe networks run automated systems that make customers’ call records readily available to the cops without the need for any human intervention. EE, Vodafone and Three pass on customer data ‘like a cash machine”, an employee at one phone company told The Guardian. All operators must store …
Paul Kunert, 12 Oct 2014
Disney's Beagle Boys

Kmart apologizes to customers after month-long security breach

Discount store Kmart admitted some customers’ payment cards have likely been “compromised” as it became the latest mega retailer to fall victim to cyber-crims. The parent of the chain, Sears Holding Corp, said the IT team discovered late Thursday that its payment systems had been breached, and further investigations indicate …
Paul Kunert, 12 Oct 2014

10 Top Tips For PRs Considering Whether To Phone The Register

Rant So. You're a PR. Your boss, client, giant David Icke-style lizard or whatever it is you people have in charge of you, has ordered you to telephone The Register. Here's a handy list of things for you to consider before you do that. Do not EVER call us to ask whether we read your email. If you feel the need to ask the question …
Gareth Corfield, 12 Oct 2014
Selena Kyle

Gotham gets the Smallville treatment with Jim Gordon in lead role

TV Review There’s something painfully earnest about American-made TV pilots, as they shoe-horn so many of the upcoming season’s characters into a meagre 40 or so minutes that hardly anyone gets to say a word. The whole process of basically begging one of the big TV houses to give you the money to craft the few nuggets of golden (or at …
Sydney Opera House Hackathon logo

Australia bins standalone school computing curriculum

The review of Australia's national curriculum has found that “While there is a clear case for the introduction of the ICT capability itself to run right through the whole Australian Curriculum, we are not convinced that a separate subject of the kind that has been designed needs to be mandatory at any level.” The recommendation …
Simon Sharwood, 12 Oct 2014
Mummy on the Orient Express

Zippy one-liners, broken promises: Doctor Who on the Orient Express

TV Review THIS IS A POST-UK-BROADCAST REVIEW – THERE WILL BE SPOILERS! Brid-Aine says: Finally, someone has remembered that Doctor Who is supposed to be fun and that someone is James Mathieson, guest writer of Mummy on the Orient Express. It has to be said that neither that title nor the trailer last week filled me with great hopes for …
Regina Egbert, El Reg's virtual news anchor

CAW! Vulture's news highlights - all in one smooth, egg-shaped vid

Get the week's top tech news delivered in eggspert-style by Vulture's news anchor Regina Eggbert. Egg...sackly... You can get more on the stories, including the lowdown on HP's split, UK.gov's £150bn two base station cash-spaff and Google and co's attempt to end NSA snooping before it BREAKS the internet.... here, here and here …
News team, 11 Oct 2014
Doctor Who on Kill The Moon

'Utter killjoy Reg hacks have NEVER BEEN LAID', writes a fan

Last week’s Doctor Who review of Kill The Moon certainly sparked some strong opinions. On Twitter, there were those who couldn’t agree more: Preach it #doctorwho http://t.co/HE7rdFEgFG — ℓilliane (@MakeItLast) October 5, 2014 . @TheRegister reviews the rather un-Physicsy #DoctorWho ep http://t.co/hjzMImzqqz — Stephen …
SexPistols 1975

Weekend reads: So, Anyway..., Anger is an Energy and Smoke Gets in your Eyes

Page File El Reg bookworm Mark Diston reviews the latest tantalising tomes. There's a battle of the autobiographies going on, with comic genius John Cleese up against music's enfant terrible John Lydon, aka Johnny Rotten – we'll see who gets the last laugh here. We've also a surprisingly entertaining insight on the life of a mortician, …
Mark Diston, 11 Oct 2014
Ross Ulbricht

Judge nukes Ulbricht's complaint about WARRANTLESS FBI Silk Road server raid

A US District Court has shot down a motion to toss out the government's evidence against alleged Silk Road mastermind Ross Ulbricht, ruling that the FBI's investigation did not violate Ulbricht's Fourth Amendment rights. In a 38-page ruling, District Judge Katherine Forrest wrote that the defense could not exclude evidence …
Shaun Nichols, 11 Oct 2014

SHATTERED: Apple's jilted glass supplier to shut down sapphire ops

Updated GT Advanced Technologies, the struggling materials firm that was once tapped to provide durable sapphire glass for Apple, says it will cut staff and close its sapphire manufacturing plants as it moves toward bankruptcy protection. In documents filed with the New Hampshire bankruptcy court on Friday, GT said the "cash burn" at …
Neil McAllister, 10 Oct 2014
Muscular man stripping off his shirt

Slap for SnapChat web app in SNAP mishap: '200,000' snaps sapped

Tens of thousands of stolen private SnapChat photos and vids are being plastered across the internet for perverts to download and ogle, it's claimed. SnapChat says it isn't to blame. When word spread on 4chan's notorious /b/ board that someone had allegedly swiped as many as 200,000 SnapChat files from strangers, it was feared …
Shaun Nichols, 10 Oct 2014

Prez Obama backs net neutrality – but can't do anything about it. Thanks, Obama

In a visit to California, US President Obama has reiterated support for full net neutrality, but said it wasn't something he could do anything about. "I know one of the things that people are most concerned about is paid prioritization, the notion that somehow some folks can pay a little more money and get better service, more …
Iain Thomson, 10 Oct 2014
Privacy image

Europe mulls weaker 'right to be forgotten' Google rule

European ministers are moving in favour of a watered down version of the so-called "right to be forgotten" rules, following discussions on the drafting of the Data Protection Regulation on Friday. A ruling by the European Court of Justice in May ordered Google to remove links from its search results that went to outdated or …
Jennifer Baker, 10 Oct 2014
Panasonic Viera TX-P42GT30

EU waves remote at Liberty Global's Dutch telly takeover

Liberty Global must sell its Dutch premium pay-TV movie channel Film1 if it wants to take over cable telly operator Ziggo, Brussels' antitrust chief has warned. Since the planned buyout will bring together the first and second largest cable television networks in The Netherlands, the European Union’s competition commissioner …
Jennifer Baker, 10 Oct 2014
Spying image

Wide-ranging UK DATA SHARING moves one step closer

Comment I suspect the UK government is going to ditch the Law Commission recommendations on data sharing; this is because it wants a quick implementation of its own extensive data sharing proposals. In short, general data sharing powers are now on the political agenda again. This is the third time in a decade the government has tried to …
ipod u2 edition

U2? 81 million Apple iThing-strokers know a place where the Beats have no shame

Some might say that being on the cover of Vogue is pretty cool. But when Apple foisted U2's latest album on 81 million innocent people? Quite the opposite. Apple has told the music bible Billboard that some 81 million people took the chance to "experience" Songs Of Innocence, with 26 million downloading the thing in its entirety …
Jasper Hamill, 10 Oct 2014

Beardie Branson backs Blockchain's Bitcoin bandwagon

British business beardie Richard Branson has invested in Blockchain. Not the Bitcoin ledger, but a custom Bitcoin wallet that functions through an iOS app. The blockchain, in Bitcoin terms, is the master ledger of all Bitcoin transactions. For all the brouhaha about Bitcoin being anonymous, the blockchain is downloaded – and …
Simon Rockman, 10 Oct 2014
Columns of coins in the cloud

Dragon's Outsourcery biz bags another £1m of cash to burn

Loss-making cloudy UC services biz Outsourcery is set to pocket £1m worth of investment from a VC just months after it raised cash and cut costs to prevent liquidity drying up, following a forecasted sales slip. The Manchester-based biz run by Dragon’s Den ‘celebrity’ Piers Linney — who, along with his co-founder, has agreed to …
Paul Kunert, 10 Oct 2014
management strategy3

HP turns to Meg Whitman's ex-chief of staff for tough UK job

Meg Whitman’s former veep chief of staff, Jacqui Ferguson, has returned to her UK roots with HP, taking control of the troubled Enterprise Services division with a remit to get things firing again. This will be no walk in the park: ES is already undergoing corrective surgery to trim costs by tightening policies covering overtime …
Paul Kunert, 10 Oct 2014
The Black Knight

The phoney war: EMM vendors joust in jam-packed market

Analysis Charles Brett is principal analyst at Freeform Dynamics, The Register's research partner, where he covers end user computing, with a particular focus on the infrastructure. In June 2014, we examined how Enterprise Mobility Management (EMM) was evolving and the ways in which the market was consolidating. Four months later this …
Charles Brett, 10 Oct 2014
BrickArms' Toy taliban figure

EU, Google, Facebook, Twitter, Microsoft: We'll fight terrorists... with WORKSHOPS

The EU, and several of the world's biggest and most powerful tech companies, made little progress in finding ways to combat terrorists' use of online media, following a meeting and dinner on Wednesday night. EU government ministers met Google, Facebook, Twitter, and Microsoft representatives. Although terrorist groups (most …
Jennifer Baker, 10 Oct 2014

Sh** just got real: Amazon to open actual shop in New York City

Proving the old adage that everything old is new again, Amazon is reportedly planning to open its first-ever bricks-and-mortar location in New York City, just in time for the holiday shopping season. According to a report by the Wall Street Journal, the e-commerce titan is beavering away at renovating a space at 7 West 34th …
Neil McAllister, 10 Oct 2014
Uber logo

Let down by a lousy UberX driver? They probably skipped the 'optional $65 customer service training course'

Amid complaints about some badly behaving drivers, you may not be surprised to hear that Uber's training course for cabbies is not only optional – it costs them $65 each to sit through it, apparently. A Forbes blog post claims the taxi app maker's bargain-basement UberX service charges drivers to take a class on providing good …
Shaun Nichols, 10 Oct 2014
Satya Nadella

WOMEN, your 'SUPERPOWER' is ... NOT asking for a RAISE: Satya Nadella

Updated Satya Nadella has made his first major gaffe as Microsoft CEO, making several rather unwise comments to a room full of women working in tech. Speaking at the Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing event, the Redmond honcho told the audience that women should avoid asking for a raise – and instead rely on "karma". "It's …
Shaun Nichols, 9 Oct 2014

Breaking news: Man with Apple shares really wishes they were worth even more

Apple's $603,580,000,000 market cap – the largest ever in history – isn't big enough for Carl Icahn. The activist investor said Thursday that Apple is UNDERVALUED, and CEO Tim Cook should do more to massively increase the stock price. Icahn, who owns 53 million shares in Apple, thinks the $101 stock price is too low, and he has …
Shaun Nichols, 9 Oct 2014
European Union Flag

EU privacy boogeyman unleashed by the very people with boogeyman-slaying weapons

Another day, another report scaremongering about Europe’s big reforms for laws that protect people's personal information. According to a fresh piece of research from Kroll Ontrack and Blancco – experts in data recovery and erasure respectively – 81 per cent of European IT managers surveyed are unfamiliar with the proposed new …
Telephone. Copyright: macinate

Landline deregulation: Big EU telcos have Skype to thank

Traditional telcos have caught a break from the European Commission with the fixed telephony and the wholesale fixed call markets set to be immediately deregulated. However, Steelie Neelie Kroes, the outgoing digital agenda commissioner, denied that this was a sop to get lots of very large and powerful companies on-side, via the …
Vulture

Activist investors DESTROY COMPANIES. Don't get me started on share dealings...

Comment Public companies have four groups of stakeholders: shareholders; execs paid with share performance in mind; other workers; and their customers. Shareholders and share value-incentivised execs are ripping the heart out of many public companies, siphoning off their wealth, going for short-term in favour of long-term interests, and …
Chris Mellor, 9 Oct 2014

Corporate crashes in UK IT channel drop back to pre-recession levels

Channel fatalities are down for the fifth consecutive quarter as the local ICT sector growth and the wider UK economy becomes the envy of European neighbours. The numbers of tech suppliers that went pop during Q3 was down by almost a quarter to 56 compared to the war stats from credit reference agency Graydon UK for the same …
Paul Kunert, 9 Oct 2014
Fight sticker

Toys fly from prams as HP rivals stoke FUD fires on its split

It's handbags at dawn in the PC market as rivals round on HP in a bid to sow the seeds of fear, uncertainty and doubt regarding the corporation’s plan to split the business in two. As world + dog knows, the Palo Alto titan is to create HP Inc to house its computer and printing businesses, and Hewlett Packard Enterprise to sell …
Paul Kunert, 9 Oct 2014

HTC débuts Desire Eye, 'GoPro-slapper' RE digital snapper

HTC doesn’t reckon it needs any funding next year or even the one after that, according to its chief financial officer, who spoke at the launch of HTC's Desire Eye, a new Android phone with a 13MP camera for "selfies". Chialin Chang told Reuters that the Taiwanese firm has no debt, $1.7bn in cash and isn’t worried about tapping …

Was Nokia's Elop history's worst CEO?

Review Stephen Elop's decision to bet the farm on Windows Phone makes him the world's worst CEO, according to a new book published this week. Operation Elop by Pekka Nykänen and Merina Salminen interviews former Nokia staff and arrives at its judgement based on the decline in Nokia's market value from 2010 to 2013: from €29.5bn to € …
Oculus Rift VR system prototype

Audio playground: How does an Oculus Rift with surround sound sound?

Wi-Fi music streaming and virtual reality both just received audio boosts, with news from Bose, DTS and Oculus. Bose has done a music streaming supply deal, like Sonos, with Deezer, but for Deezer's Premium Plus service, not the higher-rated lossless Elite service Sonos is involved with. It's a US region-specific deal and marks …
Chris Mellor, 9 Oct 2014