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Giant pop can FOUND ON MOON

Getting a man on the Moon was one of the 20th century's crowning achievements and a feat that hasn't been matched by any government, let alone a private company. But now one Japanese firm is taking a giant leap for advertising by launching the world's first privately funded lunar mission. So what sort of heroes are going to …
Jasper Hamill, 16 May 2014

Portable toilet mistaken for killer Nork drone

In March and April, something resembling an unmanned aircraft appeared over South Korean airspace and came to grief on terra firma. Whatever the unidentified flying object was, it was painted blue. North Korea denied all knowledge of the incidents. Fast-forward to last week when a chap taking in the sights of Cheonggye-Don, a …
Simon Sharwood, 15 May 2014
David Miranda and Glenn Greenwald

Anonymous: Why we're PICKETING Glenn Greenwald's book tour

Members of hacker collective Anonymous are preparing to picket journalist Glenn Greenwald's book tour – where the journo hopes to promote a tome about his reports on leaked files given to him by ex-National Security Agency sysadmin turned whistleblower Edward Snowden. The hacktivists want to disrupt the hack's book signings on …
Jasper Hamill, 14 May 2014
Computer cockroach

550 reasons to buy this book for your beloved: COCKROACHES of Oz

With Father's Day on the way any month now and just 224 days until Christmas, The Reg thinks you deserve a little personal shopping assistance. The idea of offering such help came to mind after the publication of A Guide to the Cockroaches of Australia, an AU$49.95 tome that immortalises “most of the 550 described species found …
Simon Sharwood, 14 May 2014

Stop bullying SUPER FAT GODZILLA, urge movie stars

The stars of a new Godzilla film have rallied round its big-boned monster star after cruel Japanese bullies renamed it Fatzilla. Twitter users rounded on the corpulent sea beast after publicity shots showed it had piled on a few pounds since the last films. Now the stars of the latest movie have come to the bulky beast's …
Jasper Hamill, 13 May 2014
Apple iMac

SMASH AND GRAB iThieves run car through front of Berkeley's Apple Store

A daring thief drove a car through the front of a California Apple store on Friday in what police believe was a planned robbery. Berkeley Apple Store robbery Smash and grab raid next handfuls of hardware The Berkeley 4th Street store was the scene of the crash-turned-heist early Friday morning when one or more individuals …
Shaun Nichols, 9 May 2014
ION USB turntable

Vinyl-fetish hipsters might just have a point

Hipsters. They're this decade's yuppies, but with worse facial hair. And an annoying predilection for pointless retro-technology fetishm that manifests itself in a love for vinyl records. Actually, scratch that complaint (pardon the pun). Or at least scratch it for the new 'ULTRA LP' format that Jack White, formerly of The White …

The ULTIMATE space geek accessory: Apollo 15's joystick up for sale

If you're a space geek gamer looking for the ultimate joystick, then feast your eyes on the Apollo 15 "attitude controller assembly" - the stick used by commander David R. Scott to land the Falcon lunar module on the Moon in 1971, and which goes under the hammer later this month: The Apollo 15 lunar module controller The …
Lester Haines, 8 May 2014

'Bladdered' Utah couple cuffed in church lawn sex outrage

Guests at a Salt Lake City church wedding were treated to an unexpected display of non-marital bliss on Saturday, cops said, as they reported a couple had got jiggy on the lawn outside the House of God. According to The Smoking Gun, officer Rich Stone was flagged down outside the Sacred Heart Catholic Church at about 6pm by an …
Lester Haines, 7 May 2014
A U-2 "Dragon Lady" takes off from the Osan Air Base, South Korea, flightline Oct. 21, 2009, during the base Air Power Day air show. (U.S. Air Force photo/Staff Sgt. Brian Ferguson)

Cold War spy aircraft CRASHED Los Angeles' air traffic control

The Federal Aviation Administration has claimed a major glitch that grounded dozens of flights last week was caused by a Cold War-vintage reconnaissance aircraft. It claimed that a U-2 "Dragon Lady" flew into airspace controlled by the Los Angeles Air Route Traffic Control Center in Palmdale, which uses a system called En Route …
Jasper Hamill, 6 May 2014

The amazing .uk domain: Less .co and loads more whalesong

LogoWatch If you're a Brit "at the forefront of the contemporary online landscape", then you've doubtless already eyed the .uk domain - the "short and sharp" dot thingy for "fearless, modern, digital natives", set to launch on 10 June. Make no mistake, this isn't just a cynical way of ditching the .co and charging you for the privilege, . …
Lester Haines, 6 May 2014

Evidence-based Tweets will SAVE the WORLD - and your waistline

The ¡Bong! Interview As every entrepreneur reaches mid-life, it’s natural that one’s thoughts begin to turn to one’s one’s “legacy”. Here, the Bongster has an impressive list of achievements to inspire future generations. I have made losing huge amounts of money not just respectable, but mandatory. I have redefined work as leisure. I have brought …
Steve Bong, 2 May 2014
gold ingot usb hub

Creating your GOLDEN statue of NICOLAS CAGE FINALLY possible

Lack the physical dexterity, design skills, workshop and talent necessary to make your own golden jewelry? None of that will stop you now! It's all thanks to a company which offers 3D-printing-as-a-service, Shapeways. The trinkets you design are not printed directly in gold, the process uses the traditional lost-wax casting …
Simon Rockman, 2 May 2014
Grand Theft Auto IV

Teen jailed for ARMED ROBBERY says he and pals had been inspired by Grand Theft Auto

An Australian gamer will be jailed for two years for armed robbery after using the novel defence that he and his friends had been trying to re-enact the game Grand Theft Auto while drunk. He pleaded guilty to an aggravated assault charge. Kristian Allan Coulter Scott was one of three men who held up a service station last year …
Wheat harvest

Customisation is BAD for the economy, say Oz productivity wonks

Australia's Productivity Commission is complaining that high-value, highly-customised – artesan, in fact – products are a drag on national productivity. In its latest productivity report, the nation's flint-eyed economists have decided that the best thing for the economy is for every possible product to sink into an identical …

Australians are suckers when it comes to buying tech drugs

It's not just tech giants that tag Australians as willing suckers who'll pay over-the-odds to get their hands on international products: according to the Australian Crime Commission, drug cartels are also playing the geo-pricing game. Doing a bit of pre-launch pimping of its next study into illegal drugs in Australia to the …

Selfies are so 2013. Get ready for DRONIES – the next hipster-cam-gasm

Vid It's the social phenomenon that's taking self-obsession to new heights. We're not talking about selfies, granddad, and we're not even referring to belfies. The latest self-portrait craze to grip the narcissists of the internet are called dronies – and involve using a remote-controlled aircraft to snap images. Anyone who is …
Jasper Hamill, 28 Apr 2014
Texting by TarahDawdy

Teen student texter busts 20-second tongue-twisty SMS barrier

The nimblest texting fingers on the planet belong to a 15-year-old US student named Gaurav Sharma. Youtube Video Sharma has landed a Guinness World Record for typing a 25-word text message on a touchscreen of a mobile phone by writing his message in just 18.44 seconds. That message: The razor-toothed piranhas of the genera …
Gavin Clarke, 25 Apr 2014

Teen girl arrested with 70-year-old man's four inch weapon inside her

A 19-year-old Tennessee girl cuffed earlier this week for allegedly driving with a suspended licence is in a spot more bother – after jail officers reportedly discovered a loaded .22 revolver in her vagina. Dallas Archer's police mugshot Pretty in pink: Dallas Archer's police mugshot Dallas Archer was pulled over in Kingsport …
Lester Haines, 24 Apr 2014

Pirate Bay's 10 millionth upload: Colour us shocked, a SMUT FLICK

NSFW The Pirate Bay has hit a historic milestone after celebrating its 10 millionth upload. However, the auspiciousness of the occasion was dampened slightly by the fact the content in question was a pirated copy of a smut film from the "Intimate Lesbians" series. According to torrent news website Torrentfreak, the embattled Pirate …
Jasper Hamill, 24 Apr 2014

Tooled-up Ryobi girl takes nine-inch grinder to Asus beach babe

Pic We're obliged to veteran Reg reader Chris Winpenny for nominating what he believes to be a worthy successor to Asus' famous blonde beach babe – last seen enjoying an Eee Pad Transformer Prime before the sun set on her PC-punting career: Asus Eee Pad Transformer Prime and friend The original Asus beach babe Enter Ryobi grinder …
Lester Haines, 23 Apr 2014

Japanese boffin EYES up big bucks with strap-on digi-glasses

Vid A Japanese boffin has unveiled a novel way of catching some kip at work without your colleagues finding out – a pair of OLED “glasses” designed to act as digital eyes. The bizarre invention, dubbed AgencyGlass, was invented by Tsukuba university researcher Hirotaka Osawa. It features two small OLED screens fixed to a spectacles …
Phil Muncaster, 23 Apr 2014
Bitcoins

Dorian Nakamoto gets $23,000 payout over Bitcoin invention saga

The California man who says he was mistakenly identified as the inventor of Bitcoin is accepting a $23,000 gift from backers of the cryptocurrency. Dorian Satoshi Nakamoto said that he will be joining the ranks of Bitcoin users after receiving a wallet of 47.925 bitcoins (valued at roughly $23,300) from members of the community …
Shaun Nichols, 23 Apr 2014

Och aye! It's the Loch Ness Monster – but only Apple fanbois can see it

Photo evidence The Loch Ness monster presents one of the greatest mysteries of recent times. After all, who in their right mind would believe a great green beastie was lurking down at the bottom of a midge-ridden Scottish lake? Now the answer has been revealed, after it emerged Apple fanbois can use their fondleslabs or iPhones to peer at this …
Jasper Hamill, 22 Apr 2014
Kim Jong-un

Sleuths find nosy NORKS drones on the Chinternet

At least one of the suspected North Korean drones found after crashing south of the 38th parallel appears to have been made by a Chinese aviation company. Taiyuan Navigation Friend Aviation Technology is a small UAV-maker based in Taiyuan, the capital of Shanxi province – a little over 1,000 kilometres from Pyongyang as the crow …
Phil Muncaster, 22 Apr 2014

Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise

Residents in the Spanish village of Castrillo* Matajudíos (Castrillo Kill the Jews) will vote on Saturday on whether it's time to change the name of their small hamlet in the province of Burgos to something a little less offensive. Castrillo Matajudios as seen on Street View A sign of the old times: Castrillo Matajudíos as …
Lester Haines, 18 Apr 2014
Uncov chronicles the failure of Web 2.0

Commonwealth Bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL

An attempt by Australia's Commonwealth Bank to reassure customers that they would not be harmed by the Heartbleed vulnerability has backfired spectacularly after tech-savvy customers made mincemeat out of a badly worded blog post. A bank representative blogged: “I’m happy to report that our customers can rest assured we are …
Simon Sharwood, 14 Apr 2014

Want a free Bosch steam iron? You'll have to TALK TO THE DEAD

Bosch have invited British punters to commune with the spirit world in order to claim a free steam iron. Anyone who buys a Bosch WAP28360GB or WAQ243D0GB washing machine at Currys is eligible to claim a free steamer, as long as they agree to hand over a small wodge of personal information. One of the questions asks customers …
Jasper Hamill, 14 Apr 2014
Robbie Schoen's tribute to Steve Jobs (photo courtesy of Reg reader John P)

Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN

Pics When Apple cofounder Steve Jobs passed away in 2011, makeshift shrines and memorial tributes popped up around the globe. Steve Jobs fountain sculpture outside the Felix Kulpa Gallery in Santa Cruz, California Bow down and worship the Baked Apple (click to enlarge) Most of these iShrines were temporary in nature and were …
Shaun Nichols, 12 Apr 2014

Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys

How would you celebrate the 40th anniversary of Playmobil? Make a block booking, obviously. Leaving aside the fact that joke probably refers more to their minifig mates, El Reg is delighted to see that the toy is celebrating its 40th anniversary. Our love of the tiny happy figurines is longstanding and cannot be rationally …
Jasper Hamill, 11 Apr 2014
Life of Brian

Innovation creates instability, you say? BLASPHEMY, you SCUM

Something for the Weekend, Sir? “Mobbafer.” I’m sorry? “Mobbafer.” I didn’t quite catch that. “Mobbafer.” So, ah, you mean, hmm… mob-ba-fer? “Mobbafer! Mobbafer!” When dealing with people who have impenetrable accents – and by that I mean any accent different from my own – I don’t get angry, I get embarrassed. As the interlocutor tries harder to be understood …
Alistair Dabbs, 11 Apr 2014
Festo's "mechanical roo"

Mechanical monster macropod LEAPS out of the lab

If you want evidence for the sad state of science in Australia, here it is: the world's first bionic kangaroo has been developed in Germany. Tool-maker turned industrial automation specialist Festo is responsible for the two-year project that's given the world the robot 'roo. Not only has the mechanical macropod a movement …
Lego Monster Fighters Lord Vampyre

Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest

Lego has changed, according to a Polish priest, who has warned that newer sets of the popular Danish toy are actually tools of Satan that can destroy children's souls. Lego Monster Fighters Lord Vampyre The sweet yellow bricks of yesteryear are no more, apparently, now that Lego has started producing series of minifigs like …
Team Register, 3 Apr 2014

Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine

The Ukrainian Internet Party has announced that a man wearing the costume of the Dark Lord of the Sith is their chosen candidate for the country's presidential elections on 25 May. According to the Russia's Interfax news agency, the party was serious enough to stump up the whopping UAH 2.5 million (approx £132,000) registration …
Team Register, 2 Apr 2014
Air pollution in Harbin, Heilongjiang province, northeastern China, in October 2013

Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air

Citizens in a smog-choked part of China have been queuing for bags of air imported from the country's mountain regions. According to both the Wall Street Journal and the Chinese state-run China News Service, a promotional campaign has been offering users the opportunity to take hits from pillow-sized bags of air collected in the …
Shaun Nichols, 1 Apr 2014

Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'

Video Google's Maps team has made an early entry into this year's April Fools' crop of pranks with the introduction of Pokemon to the mobile application. The company said in a video that it would be adding the Pokemon-tracking functionality as part of a campaign to hire a new "Pokemon Master" position within the company. Those who can …
Shaun Nichols, 1 Apr 2014

OkCupid falls out of love with 'anti-gay' Firefox, tells people to see other browsers

Dating website OkCupid has urged lonely hearts to stop using the Firefox browser following the controversial appointment of Brendan Eich as Mozilla's new CEO. Eich, a Mozilla co-founder and the creator of the JavaScript programming language, reportedly donated $1,000 to a campaign in support of Proposition 8, a 2008 California …

Selfies are OVER: Welcome to the age of 'Sleeveface'

When "selfie" made it into the Oxford English Dictionary, and was then anointed word of the year, it was clear that selfies themselves were kind of a big deal in 2013. As a forward-looking organisation, The Reg is always looking for the next trivial big thing and is willing to tip that 2014 will see the rise, rise, and crass …
Simon Sharwood, 31 Mar 2014
Monty Python foot UHDTV

Artists install Monty Python silly walk signs in Norwegian town

A Norwegian town has reminded denizens that a normal gait is preferable to a strange one after Swedish revolutionaries installed a pair of silly walk signs. An art group put two street signs inspired by Monty Python's Ministry of Silly Walks on either side of a zebra crossing. "It's just for fun. There's no deep thought behind …
Jasper Hamill, 31 Mar 2014

Dear Reg: What is a 'Lag' and a 'Jacksey'?

It's Thursday, and we could all do with a bit of light relief at the end of the week, so here is some, in the form of an entertaining email which landed in my inbox earlier this week: To L. Haines, What is a "Lag" ?and what is Jacksey" [sic] ? (article seen on Google TODAY!) Would you be speaking SO RUDELY about a person if …
Lester Haines, 27 Mar 2014
TWIT billboard

You TWITS! Facebook exec erects billboards shaming texting drivers

A Facebook exec is so sick of drivers texting behind the wheel that he now photographs them and puts the images on billboards to shame them. "I've been blown away by the number of people texting while in traffic, on the freeway," Brian Singer, manager of communication design at Facebook, told Gizmodo. "For every nose picker, …
Iain Thomson, 26 Mar 2014

Stop fondling that slab and shag, says lover rubber-glover

SFW It used to be said that where there's muck, there's brass - and never has that phrase been truer than in the world of condom sales. Durex is a company which wants people to have as much sex as possible, as long as they buy a few more rubber johnnies to circumvent the unfortunate baby-making and disease-spreading aspects of the …
Jasper Hamill, 26 Mar 2014